Trip Adjustment Help, Please!!

[crabbygal902]

Oh, wise Disers...

I am trying my best to minimize the impact of an event that will occur during our October 2014 trip. I honestly didn't see this coming. Long story short, my son is beginning high school and will be in marching band in the fall. I didn't take into consideration that there would be a Friday night football game and Saturday competition during our planned trip. This is completely my fault, not the director's.

I am thinking that a good compromise is for my son to miss the Friday night game and for us to fly him back on Saturday for the big band competition. We have family that could pick him up from the airport and he could stay with, so that is not an issue.

Non-refundable plane tickets have been purchased, a deposit on the resort and MYW package with 5 day park tickets and free dining has been made, and non-refundable Halloween party tickets have been purchased. (If my son stays Friday night, he would get to use his $77 party ticket but not get to use 2 of his 5 day park hopper.)

I know that in the grand scheme of things, this is not a big deal and that life will move on. However, our family Disney trips only happen once every couple years and they are very special...even more so now that our son is getting to that age where we only have a couple more as a family of 4.

Any and all advice is welcomed and appreciated!

not-so-crabby gal
more like defeated gal

 

[Robo]

Call Disney.
Explain everything in detail (as you just did.)
Ask nicely for their help.

Good luck.

 

[CTDisneyfan816]

Call Disney.
Explain everything in detail (as you just did.)
Ask nicely for their help.

Good luck.

Agreed though I do think the compromise proposed is a good one too.

 

[ejcraft]

[ have you actually checked with the band director and explained the sitution? If this is your son's first year, and the trip was already planned before the schedule came out, the director may just be willing to let it go, and then you won't have to change anything.And then just remember for future years not to plan anything between start of season and end, it's a pain, but what your child should get out of band will far outweigh not being able to do anything during that time. We have been involved in our program or the last 8yrs. This will be our final year

 

[mickeyluv'r]

As far as the airfare, Non-refundable means different things with different airlines. SWA actually does allow you to make changes. you can even cancel, and reuse the airfare for up to a year (at least at last check). Other airlines are not as generous, it's a big reason I like SWA! But check anyhow, they may offer some flexibility. Others may also allow some flexibility, though maybe minus a penalty fee.

Likewise with WDW. They may be able to offer some flexibility. It is worth calling.

Missing school in high school is often tough.

 

[nkereina]

Can he not miss the competition too? I don't have kids but I'd pull him out of both days if I were able to, and if he wouldn't be disappointed by it.

If that's not a viable option, I think the scenario you suggested could work. When would the rest of you leave if he flies home alone on Saturday? What airline are you flying? Most airlines will allow you to change his flight, and will just impose a change fee (except Southwest) and you'd also be responsible for the difference in fare if there is one. As for your package, you'd likely have to eat the cost of the ticket days and dining credits he'd miss by leaving early. The rest of you would be able to use up his dining credits, but not much you can do about the tickets unless you add the no expiration option. Might not be worth it.

My first step would be try to work it out with the band director, however.

 

[grimley1968]

I would go for the compromise. Missing a football game where the band will likely stand at parade rest during halftime and play (and play the fight song a few times during the game) is nothing compared to missing a band contest. Those band contests, for members of the band, can be BIG deals.

Also, according to your signature, you'd be coming from the same time zone and probably a short flight, so it should be a pretty easy thing for your son to do physically.

The $77 cost of that MNSSHP ticket is more than the cost of one day of park ticket added to 4 other days, so it makes sense to try to use that at the expense of 1 day of park usage. Also, going to the MNSSHP can be pretty much like a full day of park usage if you hang around until the end.

As for the dining, the credits your son doesn't use during Saturday will still be around until the end of your stay, so he can wait until later to use them, and you could probably adjust your ADR's so most of your TS meals occur while he's with you.

It sounds like something very do-able, just so long as all the logistics are figured out (who picks him up at the airport, how does he get his uniform, etc.)

 

[MHSweb79]

When my DD was in high school band, the director explained quite firmly that missing performances was not an option. You either failed the quarter or got kicked out of the band. He explained, with good reason, that the entire point of the class was to give performances and that couldn't be done if a quarter of the brass section, for example, was absent. Or if the only violinist was at Disney that day. If you were the kind of family to take your children out of school for vacations then you were encouraged to take a class other than band. (This was a private school, if that makes any difference. There weren't too many kids willing to fail the quarter.)

But of course it's too late- you already booked the vacation! All you can do is throw yourself at the mercy of Disney, the airlines and the band director and see what your options are.

 

[Malibustyle23]

Personally unless it means the child will fail the band class I would enjoy the vacation and let him as well. If he was to fail the class I would either encourage him to take a different class (flame suit ready!) or push the vacation back or forward a week. Good luck either way!

 

[mom2AidanAndEli]

Have you asked your son about what he wants to do? Does he care about missing the game/competition? What impact will it have on his grades or future with the band? If he's not worried and it won't impact anything, then just continue as planned.

But my son is also starting high school in the fall and will be in marching band. Even besides band, he would HATE to be pulled out of school at that point, even for Disney. As much as he loves Disney, missing several days of school at the beginning of high school would stress him out way too much. I know he wouldn't even enjoy himself.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but would he rather stay at home with relatives? Then could you bring someone else along--a nice/nephew or a friend?

I guess my advice would be to start with your son and see what his feelings are about the whole situation.

 

[LovesTimone]

My Daughter was in Band... well color guard, They gave us a schedule, so I made my plans for our Disney trip.

Well they changes summer band practice, then the football schedule when the 1st game was to be played which through off the whole calendar , competition times are changed frequently. So when she told the band director that we had already planned a family trip, and would not be there, he responded to her, well Ha ha I don't guess your family is going on a trip.. Well when she told me about that I went to him, in person. He did back petal quite a bit, as there were lots of other parents upset with he changes that had been made and nothing went out to the students parents as of the changes. We did go to Disney and had a great time. There were no consequence due to her not being there. I was team mom for 3 years, and travel with the band and color guard everywhere. Even to Disney when they marched in the parade for the keep the music alive program.. It was amazing watching her lead her school down main street, with so much pride I thought that I would just bust, and it was a night parade !!!!!

I would start by talking to the band director face to face, and take things from there.

 

[crabbygal902]

Thanks to all of you who have answered. I really, really appreciate it and it has given me lots to consider.

To make matters more complicated...

I am the middle school band director in this school district and work with the high school director several classes a day. I also was in this band in high school, so I know really well what the requirements are. I say this to emphasize just how badly I've screwed up. We happen to have a couple days off of school for workdays and I jumped at the chance, forgetting that high school band goes on even when the school is on break.

I have done some checking about airline ticket policies, and it ain't good news. USAir charges a $150 per ticket change fee. I assume that this would be applied to each leg of our round trip tickets, which would be a whopping $1200 total (4 round trip tickets.) Changing the flights for the whole family is not an option.

Sending my son back early for the band competition: USAir has a one-way flight for $128 that would work. I would be allowed to accompany him on ME and get a parent gate pass at the airport, put him on the plane, and return to the resort by ME. That is a very nice Disney policy, getting to ride ME with my son for free. Talked to Disney about my son's MYW ticket. We were told we could add a no-expiration option to just his ticket when we arrived at WDW. Did some research and found out that would cost about $170, which is about the same amount we would pay for 2 days in the park anyways. So we would lose that $170. We would lose a total of $300ish plus 2 full days without our kiddo at WDW.

It appears our options are:

Taking a different class altogether (my son would actually be okay with this, I am the one pushing for him to stay in band. He would like to take art but is okay with taking band in high school for a year to see how he likes it)
Taking the deduction for one event and sending my son home early for the other (we have lots of family in the area who can help out)
Taking the deduction for both events and going on the trip as planned.

All of these options have consequences. I am trying to decide the one that is most responsible to:
1. My family
2. Our commitments

Again, thank you for the thoughtful feedback. It is very much appreciated.

 

[Malibustyle23]

I'd let him take art personally. What does a deduction mean or equivalent to?

 

[crabbygal902]

I'd let him take art personally. What does a deduction mean or equivalent to?

I'm not sure how badly his grade will be affected. I assume that it will be a hefty deduction, possibly a failing grade for the quarter if both events are missed. I have asked the director for a conversation about this, and I am looking forward to hearing what he has to say. Grades are important to my kid.

 

[cattywampus]

I would let him switch to Art and consider Band a different semester or year.

 

[disnut8]

Thanks to all of you who have answered. I really, really appreciate it and it has given me lots to consider.

To make matters more complicated...

I am the middle school band director in this school district and work with the high school director several classes a day. I also was in this band in high school, so I know really well what the requirements are. I say this to emphasize just how badly I've screwed up. We happen to have a couple days off of school for workdays and I jumped at the chance, forgetting that high school band goes on even when the school is on break.

I have done some checking about airline ticket policies, and it ain't good news. USAir charges a $150 per ticket change fee. I assume that this would be applied to each leg of our round trip tickets, which would be a whopping $1200 total (4 round trip tickets.) Changing the flights for the whole family is not an option.

Sending my son back early for the band competition: USAir has a one-way flight for $128 that would work. I would be allowed to accompany him on ME and get a parent gate pass at the airport, put him on the plane, and return to the resort by ME. That is a very nice Disney policy, getting to ride ME with my son for free. Talked to Disney about my son's MYW ticket. We were told we could add a no-expiration option to just his ticket when we arrived at WDW. Did some research and found out that would cost about $170, which is about the same amount we would pay for 2 days in the park anyways. So we would lose that $170. We would lose a total of $300ish plus 2 full days without our kiddo at WDW.

It appears our options are:

Taking a different class altogether (my son would actually be okay with this, I am the one pushing for him to stay in band. He would like to take art but is okay with taking band in high school for a year to see how he likes it)
Taking the deduction for one event and sending my son home early for the other (we have lots of family in the area who can help out)
Taking the deduction for both events and going on the trip as planned.

All of these options have consequences. I am trying to decide the one that is most responsible to:
1. My family
2. Our commitments

Again, thank you for the thoughtful feedback. It is very much appreciated.

I think YOU and YOUR SON need to figure this out. You've done your research and you have the options.

In my opinion, the questions you should be asking of yourself and your son are what is going to make the most difference in your son's life? A Disney World trip, a band performance, an art class?

To put it in perspective, I have a 32 year old son who is going for his Master's Degree. He lives in Ohio, the two week "hands on" stuff is in Philadelphia. He's staying with a cousin but planned to go to New York one weekend since he's never been there. But, he has to visit two museums in Philly and do a blog on it. So, same choices - vacation over school. This is much higher up on the chain but he's not going to New York as he cannot graduate if he doesn't do the assignment. But, will your son miss out on graduating if he misses the band assignments or switches to art? Is the Disney trip important to you and your son and your family? No one can answer those questions except you and your son.

 

[disneyag]

OP--so sorry! Welcome to High School! It gets so tough when our kids get older their responsibilities become so much more important. I don't have any wisdom to offer (my DD is on the drill team at her HS and a missed event is NOT tolerated lightly!)--just wanted to send you a hug!

 

[LaurenT]

Sounds like it's a matter of how badly you want him to take band. Seems he'd rather take art which would solve every single problem....
If it were me / I'd switch him to art and let him take band next year.

 

[pjhootch]

I think the people suggesting your son skip everything probably don't have any experience with high school marching bands. If the marching band takes itself seriously and competes, missing a competition is not an option, and missing a game is hard enough.

Talk to the band director and your son. I am not sure what else you can do but try to find a compromise. It is not unusual for a grade to be impacted by missing required appearances. What is probably even more important than the grade, is the culture/attitude of marching band.

The other students frequently exert as much pressure as the band director. My kids were quite willing to skip vacations to meet MB requirements because it was incredibly important to them. We just weren't able to take trips or camp from mid summer to early winter.

 

[vicb]

[ have you actually checked with the band director and explained the sitution? If this is your son's first year, and the trip was already planned before the schedule came out, the director may just be willing to let it go, and then you won't have to change anything.And then just remember for future years not to plan anything between start of season and end, it's a pain, but what your child should get out of band will far outweigh not being able to do anything during that time. We have been involved in our program or the last 8yrs. This will be our final year

OP--so sorry! Welcome to High School! It gets so tough when our kids get older their responsibilities become so much more important. I don't have any wisdom to offer (my DD is on the drill team at her HS and a missed event is NOT tolerated lightly!)--just wanted to send you a hug!

I think the people suggesting your son skip everything probably don't have any experience with high school marching bands. If the marching band takes itself seriously and competes, missing a competition is not an option, and missing a game is hard enough.

Talk to the band director and your son. I am not sure what else you can do but try to find a compromise. It is not unusual for a grade to be impacted by missing required appearances. What is probably even more important than the grade, is the culture/attitude of marching band.

The other students frequently exert as much pressure as the band director. My kids were quite willing to skip vacations to meet MB requirements because it was incredibly important to them. We just weren't able to take trips or camp from mid summer to early winter.

I pretty much agree with all these comments. You need to talk to your son and let him have the final decision. My son was in band for 4 years, our director allowed kids to miss games/performances but their grades were effected. It is just not fair for everyone to get an A when not everyone attends the events. We had band kids on sports teams which were our directors biggest headache. At our school band was considered an "academic class" with a grade and met during the school day as well as outside of the school day. Sports were an "extra curricular" that only met ourside of the school day. Kids were caught between band and sports, director and coach each demanding full attendance. Very few kids survived all four years trying to do both. Good luck, let us know what you and your son decide to do.