Tricky situation

[phorsenuf]

Ok, here's my dilemma. In February we are going to be heading to the world. My parents (who love to travel and like fine foods and the better things in life) are joining us for a few days. YIPEE!!! We have made plans to go to the California Grill because we know they will love it!!! Well, now my Mother-in-law is coming too. She is the exact opposite of my parents. In fact whenever we do go out to eat somewhere "good" she always mentions how it really doesn't matter where we go because she can't taste anything. She will also fall over dead at the prices. I also don't think she'll like the menu offerings. So my problem is what do I do? I know she won't enjoy or appreciate the CG and I need to make my PS's early next week. (I want to do them as far out as possible, just in case).
I'd really like it just to be us and my parents because it will be a very enjoyable and special time with them. I know my MIL will not keep the mood "light".
What would you do?

Thanks!!

 

[Cruisin]

I don't know if there is a way you can tactfully leave your MIL out of dinner, unless you don't want to be tactfull and just tell her you want to go with your parents, only you know the answer to that one.
Since your MIL says she can't taste anything anyway, I guess if the prices are a problem for her she can just order the cheapest thing on the menu. It shouldn't matter to her what it "tastes" like.
Anyhow, good luck making a diplomatic decision that keeps everyone happy.

 

[CEDmom]

What if you plan dinner at CG with just your parents and then plan another dinner with just your MIL? If you do a later seating at CG than maybe you could take your MIL to the food court at your resort and sit with her while she has an early dinner so she won't have to eat alone.

 

[phorsenuf]

Originally posted by CEDmom
What if you plan dinner at CG with just your parents and then plan another dinner with just your MIL? If you do a later seating at CG than maybe you could take your MIL to the food court at your resort and sit with her while she has an early dinner so she won't have to eat alone.

My children will be with her though if she doesn't come. And no....not in a baysitters mode either. My children are old enough to do things on their own. I was thinking of sending them to DQ that night.

I was thinking too about one night with my parents and one night with her, but how do you do that tactfully? OH OH I KNOW HOW......I'll make my hubby do it! LOL

I don't know what to do........

 

[Jenn Lynn]

How about something along the lines of "We planned a special dinner just for you at___. We thought it would be a great way to spend some quality time together without the others." You couls make it fun by sending her an invite for her special dinner for just you guys. Just play it up like you can't wait to have this dinner with her!

 

[sue1013]

My inlaws sound like your MIL. Our solution we pay for their meals. Its worth it not to have to listen to them complain. We always find it amazing how much they like a restaurant when they don't have to spend their money.

 

[WeirdEyes]

I like Sue's response....pay for your MIL's meal. Then if she complains, you can say, "Well at least you didn't pay for it." If this won't work, I'd let my DH handle it. It is his mother after all.

 

[CEDmom]

This is a tricky one. I like the idea of having your DH handle it . However, I have another idea. It sound like your parents don't live near you and you didn't mention whether your MIL does. For now I'll assume (I know, I know) that your MIL is coming to spend time with your family (i.e. mainly the grandkids). I'll also assume that's why your parents are coming as well. Couldn't you set it up that your kids want to spend some seperate time alone with your parents and your MIL? You could then have your dinner with your parents while your children spent time with your MIL and then another night you have dinner with your MIL while your kids spend time with your parents.

 

[DoeWDW]

Can't you have DH explain the dilemma to her and let her make the decision? "Mom, my in-laws really want to eat at this fancy expensive restaurant. I know you don't usually like that kind of food, so if you'd rather do something else that evening, we'll all understand. If you decide to come along, we'll pay for your meal. It's up to you." That way, SHE makes the decision and lives with the consequences.

Good luck!!

 

[Cruisin]

I like CEDmom's idea.
Could you enlist the help of your children. If they are old enough you could explain to them that you want separate time spent with each grandparents. If they are old enough they will probably already know WHY you would do it separately.
You could have them talk it up to their grandmother that they would like to spend some special time just with her and also their other grandparents.

 

[phorsenuf]

All very good posts and suggestions.
My parents live an hour away and we are very close. I come from a big Italian family...need I say more...
My MIL lives an hour away but their family isn't close like mine.
My children are not as close to MIL as they are to my parents because of the way they are treated. They aren't treated meanly or anything but I guess all those years of getting sheets and blankets for their birthdays and Christmas didn't impress them much. (yes, I am serious!!)
Even if we did offer to pay for her meal she would still complain that we spend too much and why would we want to spend this much money on a meal...get the drift. She is very critical of EVERYTHING!!! I think it really is a no win situation because that's how she is.
I guess a part of me too doesn't want her there because it just won't be as enjoyable like it would be with just my parents. I know that sounds mean...but the things I could tell ya!!!!

 

[Disney Ella]

Doesn't sound mean to me! I would keep the CG just for you and your parents. It sounds like your MIL will find plenty to complain about anyway, what's one more thing?