Tragedy in family- Do we cancel?

[NHmomof2boys]

I just wanted to tell you that I am so very sorry for your loss. As the others have said, I would move forward with your plans as of right now. As the date gets closer, get an idea of how everybody is feeling about the trip and make the decision then. Right now, take care of each other and remember the good times that you have all shared.

You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[momsgonwild]

Nine years ago my first DH was killed in a wreck. Our DS's were 13 yrs, and 9 yrs. The accident happened in May, and I couldn't even imagine my children and I getting through the summer. It was touch and go with the kids, but everyday we somehow survived, and even found things to laugh about. As August approached, my boys wanted to know if we would ever be able to go on vacation again. We decided to go low-key, and stay local for a first trip just the three of us. We went to Sea World, and Fiesta Texas in San Antonio for four days. I believe this was the beginning of our healing. We didn't forget what we had lost. We weren't being disrespectful. We had a really great time, and appreciated our time together. The boys are 23 and 18 now, and still recall this vaction fondly. I will cherish this trip forever.
Everyone needs something in their lives to look forward to, even during a tragedy such as this. My prayers are with your family!

 

[Tinkerbell424]

I'm so sorry for you and your familys loss.

 

[smidgy]

my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. It is so hard to lose a loved one.
If it were me who died (a new perspective on this issue) I would so much want my family to enjoy their vacation. I would never want to ruin anyone else's fun. I know that sounds selfish, but little ones don't always understand these things; little ones only see things as far as "their back yards"
maybe you could have a "little memorial" for them at "the happiest place on earth". that would be what I would want.
my mother died just after christmas. (12/28/89) I took me a long time to "enjoy" christmas after that. I HATED christmas songs (for 2 years). then i realized I was "ruining" christmas for my young sons. and my mother LOVED christmas!!!
I was ruining what SHE LOVED!!! please.. enjoy your holiday... just never forget your loved one. It's, unfortunately, one of those life/learning experiences that there's no way to shield your children from.
I LOVE DISNEY SO MUCH, I would hate to ruin it for my kids or grandkids.

 

[safetymom]

I am so sorry to hear about the tragedy. I agre with the others to wait and see how everyone feels in a couple of weeks.

Disney is a great place to escape reality for awhile. Your nieces would get to be kids for awhile without the pain.

 

[MissyDVC]

So very sorry for your family's loss.

 

[indigoxtreme]

Sorry for your loss. Prayers are being sent to you and your family

You have received alot of good advise. Myself I would carry on with the trip and do not feel bad about the little boy. You go and have a great time with the girls. Perhaps you could send a msg to their dad tied to a balloon while you are there and say something like. Dad, we love you and we are having a good time.

 

[~*TiNkErBeLl*~]

I am sorry to hear of your loss. But unfortunately for me i know exactly what you are going through. Three years ago my Daddy died in september and we had a trip planned for thanksgiving. well me and my mom went on because he would have wanted us to go. it was a very nice break for my mother and me. in all honesty i think it helped us to get away from everything here at home and spend some much needed time together. i cant ever go to disney without thinking about my dad because he loved it so much. i just think you should go. there is no reason sitting at home when u could be there. just think if u sit at home and not go you will probably think more about why u didnt go.

 

[DizzDoll]

So very sorry for your loss. As far as taking your planned vacation, I also vote go. My cousin lost her father 6 weeks before her wedding and the big question was go ahead as planned or postpone. We went ahead, and it was a great day. We all felt his loss yet his presence at the same time, if that makes any sense to anyone at all. He actually passed away a week after her bridal shower. So please, don't cancel yet, give it a few weeks, and give it a go. It could very well be what you all need.

 

[EastCarolina72]

So sorry about your loss. I would say give it a week or two, then sit and discuss it, and I think you all will agree that the family must stick together and move on and live as best we can and a trip to WDW is a great family time and you will have years of memories.

 

[Michigan]

I'm sorry about your loss.

My mother died in October and I took my girls to WDW in Feb. It was the best thing I could have done for all of us to move on.

 

[burberryplaid]

I'm sorry for your loss.

I would definitely go if everyone is still up for it. My MIL, her sister, and my GMIL had planned a trip to Mexico in March '05. My GFIL (GMIL's husband) passed away unexpectedly in January. They decided to go as planned and enjoyed the time away together as a family. I think going away and enjoying yourselves could be very therepeutic for you all.

Take care!

 

[donaldsgirl]

I am so sorry for your loss. I dont envy you your decision. I would suggest giving it a few weeks and see how things go. I would be willing to guess that the trip will continue as planned. I am sure that it will be a break that everyone could use. I live just south of the NH border and I heard about the accident. Such a tragedy and we are thinking about you guys. Do what feels right, take care of what you need to take care of .

 

[GoofyTraci]

So sorry to hear about your loss. I do agree with the previous poster's to continue on with your trip. However do talk to them in a couple of weeks and see how they feel about the trip. But have fun.

 

[Zoemakes5]

Just a bit confused here......are either of the girls BIL DD? (you said one of the DN's referred to BIL as "uncle john"? Is one of the girls is the 3 yo's sister?
The only reason I ask is that if the next few months are going to be a huge upheaval, and the children are going to be bounced around quite a bit, I'd honestly not take the girls if it mean dividing up the 3 y.o. with his sister so soon after, expecially if mom is still in the hospital or just home. They are going to be relying upon each other alot. As much as the 3 yo is going to be relying on his big sister, the big sister is going to need to be needed. The separation could be traumatic for them.
If it were just the girls, or in the alternative you could take the boy, then I'd say it would be a perfect opportunity to give them a break from their sadness and the reality of their lives. OR, if neither of the DN's are BIL's DD/the 3yo's sister, I'd do it in a minute. But, I don't think I'd do it if I was breaking the sister and brother apart during that time.

 

[WDWHo]

We had a very tragic death in the family today. We were planning on taking our nieces, aged 10 and 12, for their first trip to WDW in September. Today, my DDDBIL, and their Uncle, was killed in a head-on motorcycle accident. Do we cancel the trip, or continue on? I personally think the kids will need this break. But, I don't want the rest of the family thinking we are being callous continuing with plans. His wife was severely injured, and will require months of recovery, assuming she pulls through. They have a 3 y/o son, who will now become the responsibility of the family. I'm afraid my nieces will be afraid to leave, since this accident happened while my BIL and SIL were on vacation in NH. I don't feel it is appropriate to bring it up right now. Should I wait and see how the kids feel in a few weeks? We are currently at 90 days, and the trip is paid. I know we need to cancel before 45 days out, so that does give us some time. Any advice would be welcome. Thank you.

First so sorry for your family, my prayers are with you.

I would wait a few weeks. You have over a month before you have to make a choice. Alot can change in a month. Also even if you took it out to 90 days, you would only lose $200 (Assuming your not flying).

Its all so new and fresh and painful....give yourself sometime. You will feel more sure of what you want in a few weeks.

God bless.

 

[MINNIE OF TWO MICE]

I am very sorry for your loss. Between my Dh and myself we only have my one grandfather and my Mom. We have experienced alot of death in our families. If it helps at all most grief counselors would suggest you stick to as normal as possible. We suffered my grandmother, my dad and my DH grandmother deaths in a very short period of time and my DD (eight at the time) had a very hard time. I would go on the trip. I would also go to the local bookstore and find books on this topic. It really helped us. The children are so young. Bless their hearts. We will keep yall in our prayers.

 

[SnowWtch]

I am sorry for your loss but it is too soon to know how people will feel in 90 days. Right now just wait. There's enough to worry about w/o adding that too. You'll all probably need the getaway by then.

 

[DawnMarie]

I would wait a few weeks then speak with the children. They are old enough I think, to decide if they feel comfortable going on vacation or not. I would like them know if they don't want to go now then its okay we'll re-schedule for another time. My prayers are with your family

 

[MomtoEmIs&Ow]

First of all I am very sorry for your loss! As someone who has experienced a death of a very close family member, I would suggest that you do not cancel your trip. It is 3 months away.... Things will be getting back to normal by then. It is not callous to want to take your nieces to enjoy themselves. Everyone will need it, and they are kids so they will need 'normal'. Just think of the people you lost, I am sure they would want you guys to have fun!

Enjoy the time you will have together, and again I am VERY sorry for your loss!

Lee