Touchy situation, what would you do?

[melomouse]

I happen to be a mandated reporter. I'd call the pediatrician's office and get someone to LISTEN to you, (they can listen, but they can't identify patients), and then call CPS. This is an infant and is very serious. Deal with the family and the CPS mess later - this baby needs to be temporarily placed with another family member.

melomouse

 

[Chicago526]

Eating disorders can take years to straighten out, they are very simular to additctions to drugs and alcohol that way. And like addict, the person with the eating disorder has to spend months or years in rehab and/or counseling, they usually don't have the time, energy, or emotional resourses to care for an infant without outside support. Plus there is always the chance of a relapse.

In short, even if your neice decides TODAY that she needs help, the child should still be in the care of someone else. The ONLY way I would not call CPS is if you can talk your neice into giving up her daughter voluntarily to a family member while she gets help. If she refuses, then you'll need to call them.

 

[mom2grace]

You can also call and let the pediatrician know that you are concerned. With HIPPA, they can't tell you anything, but you can tell them. CPS responds well and quickly to MD referrals.

to you!

 

[budbeerlady]

Yes, the kid comes first even with family!

 

[mom2boys]

I do not agree. My concern would not be that mother... The child would be my only concern. And, the child needs help NOW... This type of eating disorder problem is not solved overnight.

If the mother sees this as a wake-up call to get help for herself, then fine.
But, that child is an at-risk baby going thru important growing and developmental stages. That baby needs help NOW.

I agree - You need to call today. That child is not getting proper nutrition and the mother isn't able to give it to her right now. If the baby doesn't get proper nutrition now, she could have developmental delays that follow her throughout her life.

 

[Judy from Boise]

I am a mandatory reporter, so for me there is no question .But....
Call at your next possible time and report this. To be blunt at 12 months this child will all ready never achieve her possible potential. Harm has all ready been done. The choice is only to stop it now in time for a good outcome, or......not.

 

[UrsulasMyHero]

The young mother is projecting her eating disorder on this little baby. At a year old, she is probably well under her height/weight standards and is in need of some one to intervene on her behalf. For the child, please make the call to CPS. The mother can be handled, but the child needs the help now. She is being abused and doesn't even know it. Severely limiting the intake of food most likely has already caused developmental issues that may or may not be able to be turned around.

Good luck.

 

[Carys]

I'm sure whatever you decide to do will be a positive step for the baby. I just wanted to say thank you for putting yourself out of your comfort zone to look out for this kid - other people might have let the social awkwardness of it go before the needs of the child, and that kid could someday end up owing their life, or at least their physical and mental wellbeing to you. I hope change for the better will come out of this for both the child and the mother - Thank you and for whatever comes.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Any updates??

 

[PrincessKitty1]

I agree that this child should NOT be in the care of his mother. I'm a mandated reporter (pediatric nurse) and I have seen this many, many times (moms who don't feed their children properly due to their own mental health problems). This mother is very disturbed and unable to properly care for her child. This child could end up with serious problems, including brain damage from lack of nutrition, muscular wasting (the heart is a muscle!) etc.

I would definitely report this mom. If you don't want the mom to know you reported her, do not give your name to CPS and make sure to block your number when you call. Also, don't tell CPS what your relationship is with the mother if you don't want the mom to be told. At least in my state, the only way to ensure the parent doesn't find out your name is to not give it to CPS. It's supposed to be confidential, but it's not.

 

[Chicago526]

Any news?

 

[39CINDERELLA]

I HOPE YOU MADE THIS LIFE SAVING CALL!

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

How sad. How did the meeting go?

 

[Sleepy]

.

It's my niece, she's 21 and had a baby WAY before she was emotionally ready. She's almost a year old, very tiny - she only feeds formula and resists giving her any kind of baby food because she doesn't want her to be a "chubby baby". The pediatrician told her she's not feeding her enough and gave her a recommended schedule, but she's still feeding her the same amounts as she was months ago. We had not seen her in a few months, but my Mom kept her yesterday and is so upset. She said when the baby stayed with her she was eating everything she gave her and was wanting more. She also mentioned she's very weak. My niece has had eating disorder problems since she was a tween, she's 5'10 or so and is under 100 pounds. She eats maybe a meal a day.

You described my SIL perfectly. Oh how my heart ached for my nephew. he was such an unhappy baby because he was just soo hungry all the time. The fight over something so easily solved split the family and things have never been the same.

 

[happybratpack]

Hi again

Thanks again to everyone for their thoughts. It's not a great situation, my niece flew off the handle at the interference. She has decided to go to Washington w/ her husband for a few weeks and is leaving the baby with her In-laws since "nobody feels that she can take care of her". I have a feeling this is going to end up being a permanent situation.

It's a sad situation but at least the little one is in good care and has a pediatrician appt for tomorrow. I am sad/angry/upset/scared for my neice but she's an adult and the baby can't fend for herself.

Thanks again

 

[PrincessKitty1]

Thanks for the update. I'm sad for the pain this is causing your family, but so happy to hear your niece has given the baby over to her in-laws--that is very good news for the health and safety of this child. to you and your family.

 

[Nana Annie]

Make sure your neice signs something to give temporary guardianship to the in-laws. Otherwise, if the child would need medical attention, only life-saving care could be provided until the mother gave the authorization. And that would mean having to track down the mother, etc.

 

[MAKmom]

If the pediatrician says that she's not feeding the baby enough and she still doesn't increase the child's food intake, isn't the pediatrician mandated to report her to CPS? I would think that that would qualify as neglect, and he is aware of it.

I would not call CPS as a family member unless I had pursued every other possible solution. Is there another way to get this girl to see that she is not feeding her child appropriately? Once CPS becomes involved, things can spiral out of control very quickly. I'd just try to find another way to solve the problem w/o involving them if at all possible. If that's not possible, then CPS should be involved as a last resort (IMHO).

I agree. I would call the pediatrician.

 

[doxdogy]

Glad to hear that she is leaving the child with her in-laws. Are they the type of people that listen to reason?

 

[happybratpack]

Glad to hear that she is leaving the child with her in-laws. Are they the type of people that listen to reason?

Yes, thank goodness. She did give them a release for medical purposes. I hate this whole situation but it's for the best for the baby and that's what's important. My niece refuses to get help for her problems, she's an adult I suppose. I'm just happy that Aubree is in a better place and is getting the care she deserves.

We're going to go like this for a couple weeks and see how things go, then go from there.

Thanks again