Too nice of a teacher gift?

[SoonerSarah]

Last year my daughter's teacher opened the presents with each child present. She didn't make a big deal about it, except to that child, but there were other kids and adults in the room.

If you are concerned about it looking like you are brown nosing, you could consider giving it to her as an end of year gift, that way you child is out of her classroom and there can't be a favortism issue.

 

[MickeyBA]

If you had decided to spend that amount it would be silly not to get the nicest thing you could find for the money. I say give it to her. It's nice of you.

 

[mamaLori05]

Hmmm I'm not really sure what the rules/expectations are here. This is our first year in public school and we got a note home saying that they kids are not exchanging gifts but that we could send something in for the "classroom as a whole" if we wanted to. Would that be in lieu of a teacher gift or in addition?

I have no idea if there are district policies or not or where we would find out.

I personally would get something for the classroom in addition to the teacher gift, but I think it's a personal decision and either way you go will be fine. There aren't any set rules, and most teachers aren't going to think badly of you even if you decide to give nothing. It's not something teachers really expect, It's just a nice gesture and they will love your kids no matter what. (if they don't, they probably shouldn't be teaching!!) I like to get the teachers a personal gift (one they don't have to share with the kids) as a way of showing my appreciation for what they do all year. I taught preschool before I had my kids, and it was always nice to hear (even if it was just verbally) how much the parents appreciated what I was doing. Giving gifts is just MY way of showing my appreciation.

As for the purse, I do think it's a little much, but I still say give it to her. I'm sure she will LOVE LOVE LOVE it! I would suggest telling her to open it later though, more so that no one else see's it and feels badly about the gift they gave not being up to par. I don't think it would be seen as brown nosing by the teacher, but I could see how a parent (or child) that could only afford to buy a $5 present might feel like their present wasn't good enough after seeing something like that.

 

[cats mom]

How on earth are the other parents going to know what you got your child's teacher for a gift?????

I don't think it's all that unusual for teachers to open their gifts during classroom parties. I don't much like the idea personally, but I've certainly seen it happen.

I'm wondering if it might be better to give a more low key gift for Christmas and hold onto the handbag to use as an end of the year gift? That might help alleviate at least some of the concerns folks have expressed in this thread. Just a thought.

 

[racechick8293]

I used to teach in the public school system. I agree with the others who say to give the gift. Very few teachers would open it with a number of people around. The holidays can actually be a very frustrating time of year to be a teacher with students being in more of a holiday mindset than a learning one, and the gift may be just the thing to brighten the teacher's day.

I would first call the school administrative offices to inquire about policies for giving gifts to teachers anonymously. Then, as long as the teacher would not be placed in an uncomfortable position by having to ask you how much the bag cost, I would simply give the gift with no explanatory note explaining the bargain. If there is a policy about gifts over a certain amount, I would just include a note to the effect of "Appearances (and MSRP) can be deceiving. I verified that this gift is in accordance with school district policies. Thanks for all that you do for the children of third grade. Have a wonderful holiday season!"

 

[amy-momofthree]

At first, I thought you should include a note but now I am thinking that you shoukd just go ahead and give it to her

It's your money and she takes care of your child. In my opinion, teachers are the unsung heros who get little appreciation and credit for all they do, so a beautiful gift shouldn't make anyone feel uncomfortable. I would add a card to tell her how much she is appreciated

I'm sure she will love it!!

 

[ekatiel]

Thanks for all the replies, guys. I'm sending it with a note. I wrote her a nice note thanking her, and then I included a post script that said, "My best friend works for the _____ corporate office, so I get phenominal deals on hand bags. Let me know if you ever want to place an 'order'." Hopefully, that sounds ok. Thanks again for all the advice. --Katie

 

[mommasita]

Thanks for all the replies, guys. I'm sending it with a note. I wrote her a nice note thanking her, and then I included a post script that said, "My best friend works for the _____ corporate office, so I get phenominal deals on hand bags. Let me know if you ever want to place an 'order'." Hopefully, that sounds ok. Thanks again for all the advice. --Katie

I think that is great!!

I got my DD's teacher perfume last year, basically the same way you did it. We wear the same kind, and she was sooo happy.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Even if you feel the need to explain the discount, I would leave out the part about placing an order. I think it makes it sound like you are trying to "sell" the bags.

 

[mommasita]

Even if you feel the need to explain the discount, I would leave out the part about placing an order. I think it makes it sound like you are trying to "sell" the bags.

That is a good point!

 

[crisi]

In my state, teachers are not allowed to accept gifts over $50. I am a teacher and we all had to sign a legal document stating we read and accepted the policy. So if I got a purse I thought was more than $50 I would be required to give it back. Or very uncomfortably ask the family how much they spent on it. So a note on there subtly letting the teacher know it was a great deal would be helpful.

Our district policy is something like $5 or $10 for a "personal" gift. Tokens only. We can give "classroom" gifts to any amount. Books, supplies, etc.

 

[mamaLori05]

Even if you feel the need to explain the discount, I would leave out the part about placing an order. I think it makes it sound like you are trying to "sell" the bags.

I thought the same thing when I read that. I would leave that part out, otherwise sounds great.

 

[racechick8293]

Even if you feel the need to explain the discount, I would leave out the part about placing an order. I think it makes it sound like you are trying to "sell" the bags.

I agree!

 

[dr&momto2boys]

I think it's appropriate. A note is not necessary in my opinion.

 

[mousey]

No note necessary. Its the thought that counts. Good for you that you got a good deal.

 

[maggiew]

Thanks for all the replies, guys. I'm sending it with a note. I wrote her a nice note thanking her, and then I included a post script that said, "My best friend works for the _____ corporate office, so I get phenominal deals on hand bags. Let me know if you ever want to place an 'order'." Hopefully, that sounds ok. Thanks again for all the advice. --Katie

Just FYI, it is spelled phenomenal. I am not saying this to be snarky. I just thought you wouldn't want to have a typo in your teacher note.

Maggie

 

[maggiew]

On a related note, I just saw that Dooney and Bourke has their wristlets on sale TODAY only (Tues) for $19.75. This might be a nice teacher gift.

http://www.dooney.com/OA_HTML/ibeCC...&DNBPI_pses=DNBPI=gavHdqghOGrlKZOWvjobEFgm:S~

I'm not directing this towards the OP as a substitue for what she got. But to others who might still be looking for something.

Maggie

 

[Teacher03]

On a related note, I just saw that Dooney and Bourke has their wristlets on sale TODAY only (Tues) for $19.75. This might be a nice teacher gift.

http://www.dooney.com/OA_HTML/ibeCC...&DNBPI_pses=DNBPI=gavHdqghOGrlKZOWvjobEFgm:S~

I'm not directing this towards the OP as a substitue for what she got. But to others who might still be looking for something.

Maggie

I'm too late-they are all sold out!

 

[kimsuenew]

I would double check policy first. At our school we (faculty, admin, support staff... everyone) are not allowed to accept a gift with greater than $10.00 value, to do so is prohibited.

 

[holycow]

lisateaches.....you made me cry.

Thanks for being a teacher!