Toddlers in DL: to leash or not to leash?

[traci]

Anyone else notice the ads on this page because of the word leash are all for dog collars..

huh
I'm confused...what ads?

 

[i3utterfli82]

yes, the google ads.

 

[ilovepooh]

I say do whatever keeps your little one safe. If he/she is known to take off when they are excited, then use the leash. It's better to be safe than sorry!

I said I would never use a leash, but now that I'm a mom, I have reconsidered! I'd rather have DS safe, then worry about what others think! I only suggest not using the wrist one, as I have heard it hurts their little arm from the tugging. The halter leash may be too warm in the summer, but that's the one I plan to use for DS.

 

[MATTERHORN]

Hmm, I guess we have to add leashing to the crappy parent list. I only regret that I did not leash my children so that I come here and be told what a crappy parent I am for having done so. No, I just have to wait for another thread about heelies so I can be reminded of what a crappy parent I am.


To the OP: You are a brave soul for coming here and asking a question about a parenting choice. Do what you think is best.

Well if you want to play it that way and read into things that haven't been said, us non-leashers could read into things too. Like every time a mom says "Well I'm just doing it to keep little Susie safe" Does that mean are kids aren't safe with us because they aren't leashed? Does that mean we don't care about our kids safety because we choose not to leash?

It's just silly! So when they are 6 and you go to WDW and don't use a leash, do you not care about their safety anymore? I can't believe so many parents think that a 2 year old is incapable of listening. And if you say that it's not because they don't listen, it's just for the sake of safety, well wouldn't that go for all your children no matter how old they are? I would still want my 6 year old to be just as safe as my 3 year old. The argument to leash never makes sense to me because of this.

If you do, fine. That's your business. But please don't say it's because your kid is does listen to you but you want to keep them safe. A PP said it's not normal behavior for a two year old to behave and listen at a game. That's rediculous. If you don't expect it of them, it won't happen.

Andrea

 

[southernbohemian]

As my son is too young at the moment, I won't know how I will feel about harnessing him on our trip to WDW next year until we get closer to the actual time. I used to be very anti-leash, but seeing how kid-friendly they have made them (the monkey is cute) and hearing positive feedback on this board, I will take it into account as an option, even if it is a last resort.

This debate made me think of another issue related to the harness - discipline at the park. Yes, it is a safety issue mainly (you don't want them to get lost), but is it also a discipline issue? I don't want people to think that I'm implying harnessed kids aren't disciplined properly, etc., so don't take it that way. My 3-year-old stepdaughter is very excited by just about everything. Her mother, who DSD lives with, lets her get pretty far out of reach (and out of her control) before feeling the need to go after her and then it usually develops into a chase situation. My boyfriend and I have a smaller comfort circle that she is allowed to explore in, and when she gets too far she is warned and if she does it again, she's punished. For a child that unfortunately gets such mixed signals, she is usually well behaved, but when we go to the park next year I'm afraid she will spend at least some time in time out when she wants to be riding a ride, etc.

My question, basically, is if parents who opt for the harness-method have to discipline their children less while at the park because they are preventing the child from getting the chance to misbehave? Do parents who opt not to harness find it difficult depriving their child of some fun and excitement by punishing them for getting too far away (if they do get away from you - I, personally believe the post about the football game - well-mannered children tend to be well-mannered everywhere), or do you find yourself overlooking these incidents because they are on vacation? This is mainly aimed at parents who use time-outs, etc., because that is our method. No one is right or wrong - an opinion is based on personal, not unversal, experiences. I am interested as a mother seeking ideas from other parents, not in stirring things up, so please post nice!

 

[MATTERHORN]

As my son is too young at the moment, I won't know how I will feel about harnessing him on our trip to WDW next year until we get closer to the actual time. I used to be very anti-leash, but seeing how kid-friendly they have made them (the monkey is cute) and hearing positive feedback on this board, I will take it into account as an option, even if it is a last resort.

This debate made me think of another issue related to the harness - discipline at the park. Yes, it is a safety issue mainly (you don't want them to get lost), but is it also a discipline issue? I don't want people to think that I'm implying harnessed kids aren't disciplined properly, etc., so don't take it that way. My 3-year-old stepdaughter is very excited by just about everything. Her mother, who DSD lives with, lets her get pretty far out of reach (and out of her control) before feeling the need to go after her and then it usually develops into a chase situation. My boyfriend and I have a smaller comfort circle that she is allowed to explore in, and when she gets too far she is warned and if she does it again, she's punished. For a child that unfortunately gets such mixed signals, she is usually well behaved, but when we go to the park next year I'm afraid she will spend at least some time in time out when she wants to be riding a ride, etc.

My question, basically, is if parents who opt for the harness-method have to discipline their children less while at the park because they are preventing the child from getting the chance to misbehave? Do parents who opt not to harness find it difficult depriving their child of some fun and excitement by punishing them for getting too far away (if they do get away from you - I, personally believe the post about the football game - well-mannered children tend to be well-mannered everywhere), or do you find yourself overlooking these incidents because they are on vacation? This is mainly aimed at parents who use time-outs, etc., because that is our method. No one is right or wrong - an opinion is based on personal, not unversal, experiences. I am interested as a mother seeking ideas from other parents, not in stirring things up, so please post nice!

Well as I am sure you have read, I don't use a leash at all. It is hard when in your situation, they are being parented two different ways. With that said, most kids I have met know exactly how much they can get away with with each given person. Therefore, she will quickly get used to the fact that you mean business. If that means she misses out a little, so be it.

It really only takes a few times and then my kids know that I mean business. It's not likely that a few time outs will ruin your whole vacation. If you stick to your guns, she will most likely follow along and know that you aren't giving in. I have no problem taking away a privilage, whether we are on vacation or not. They know that especailly on vacation in a place that's not familiar, it's even more important to follow rules so we are all safe. I NEVER chase my children. I have never had to.

I would rather have to take some time and discipline the child rather than taking a "were on vacation attitude" that a lot of parents take (not directed at anyone on this thread!) If it's not acceptable at home, it's not acceptable at Disney.

It's funny because this makes it sound like I'm really strict and I'm not. My kids still manage to have an absolute blast and I find once they know the drill and learned it early on, I actually a lot LESS disciplining to do and it's more enjoyable for all of us!

Have a great time on your trip and follow your instincts. Your house, your rules.


Andrea

 

[SusanMomOf2]

Wow, I didn't know there was anything negative at all about a leash or harness.

I understand and agree with the points that moms have made this far: if a child is in a leash or harness, they should still be watched closely and always respected. I figured that went without saying, though. Was I wrong? I assumed that any parent would still be on guard and would never treat their child worse than a pet by tugging on them to get their attention (as one posted posted about the dad and the little girl in the store window). But since we have those experiences to share, those are great tips of advice.

At the same time, I'm like, who cares (about what others think when they see you use one). I never in my life thought I'd get negative responses about having my daughter in a leash thing. This is such a new debate to me... I've only always known the pro side. I didn't even know there was a side until tonight.

While respecting others' opinions, I'll say that I thought this was a no brainer. After reading replies, I guess there's more thought to be put into it. As for me, I will use one as a back up in case she wriggles out of holding my hand or something. And I think using it in the waiting lines will be cool too because she squirms out of my arms. Well she tries. And when I hold her firmly, she pitches a fit. It's more for my convenience.

 

[LisaFB]

I didn't have time to read all 6 pages, but wanted to post anyway. I, personally, am against leashes or harnesses. I, personally, feel that if my children are too rambunctious (sp?) to stay by us and lsiten or stay in their strollers, then they are not old enough to do things like go to WDW. But that's jsut me.

If you feel they are ok and necessary, then by all means do it. Don't worry about what others think or how they'll look at you. You, as a parent, need to do what's best for you and your family.

My only real pet peeve about leashes and harnesses is when the paretns feel their child is safe and don't pay attention to them and don't look out for them. This is still nescessary to make sure they aren't misbehaving or bothering people, and to make sure no one who'd want to steal a kid cuts the leash, etc.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

We just got back from Disneyland (our first trip!) last week. We had bought DS2 the little puppy harness because we wanted a way to keep ahold of him at Disneyland (he's a little Houdini) and yet allow him out of the stroller, which he gets bored with. We tried out one his little buddy uses, and DS fell in love with it, so when I saw them at Target I bought one.

Somebody on the DIS suggested parents try it out before a trip, but I thought we'd already tried it out enough. This turned out to be a mistake! After a while in the park, DS2 wanted loose, so we put him in the harness. He loved the puppy on his back, and was so excited! But as soon as he was let loose, he ran. He hit the end of the strap, and just kept trying to run, so there he was straining at the backpack end while DH gripped the loop end. DS started running around in circles (trying to get free, I suppose), but DH hung on.

I should say that DS thought this was great fun, but we were not enjoying it and were worried the strap would tear off the backpack. We kept trying to get DS2 to walk next to us, but he just couldn't settle down, so we finally took the backpack off and either carried him, walked holding his hand, or put him in the stroller.

I think if I had gotten him more used to wearing the backpack while out and about, it would have lost its new-ness and he probably would have been fine with it. Wearing it around the house and neighborhood a few times is NOT the same as wearing it at Disneyland!

 

[emh1129]

I think the monkey one that was shown here is cute!

I think that's a much better option than leaving your child in a stroller all day!! It lets the child explore safely and interact with his/her environment.

We don't use one, but that's only because we only have two children and there are two of us.. if we had a third and were outnumbered, I might consider it if I had a wild child (like my oldest was!) and we were in a place like WDW.

 

[sassymom]

Please please please don't put a leash on your child. What ever happened to hand holding or a stroller? It's just my opinion but we are just back from WDW with our 2 year old (who is a wanderer) and had no problems at all.

 

[emh1129]

Pleas please please don't put a leash on your child. What ever happened to hand holding or a stroller? It's just my opinion but we are just back from WDW with our 2 year old (who is a wanderer) and had no problems at all.

My 2 year old would be fine, too, and we're planning to hold hands but I know that other children aren't like that.. so that's just not realistic or possible.

Do you really think it's better to leave a child in a stroller as a passive observer or to use the 'leash' and let them exercise their inner curiosity safely and become an active participant in their environment?

 

[surfgirl]

southernbohemian, I understand your struggle with two sets of parents and two different sets of rules. I think you need to do your best to make sure she understands *your* rules. We talk about how different people have different rules and different privileges. (Think of how kids know to 'play' their parents, but yet behave for the teachers... they've figured it out!).

One thing that I've tried to do is to have our children make 'mistakes' in low-consequence situations. I also make sure if I threaten losing something, I am willing to follow through. For example, if you are somewhere in public (mall, dinner, etc.), leaving because of mis-behavior is much easier than if you have to leave somewhere really fun (or expensive) (the zoo, etc.). We talk about it afterwards, 'if you hadn't mis-behaved, we could have had a soft pretzel or ice cream (or something desirable), maybe next time we can do that' and then next time we go, I try to encourage the right choices and we get rewarded with something fun.

Recently, our 4 yr. old was coming to our bed at night - every night and would ping-pong back after we took her back to her bed (there was nothing physical going on here). Finally, I said, 'no treats the next day if you don't stay in your bed all night.' She didn't and she didn't have treats (altho my 6 yo said, 'mom, how about all of us skip treats for dinner' - how nice was that?!?). The next day, 4yo did great, so I made sure the treats were worth it ... a trolley ride to the ice cream store (with sprinkles!!!). We talked about how glad we were that our 4 yo was able to share those with us and how glad we were that she had stayed in her own bed. I feel like this was actually a parenting success (we don't get those often enough, do we?) and she is doing great!

Figure out what works for you.

the best advice I ever got from a pediatrician.... "trust your instincts". It is true.

 

[mmeads4]

I have a 4 and a 2 year old. My 4 year old stays by my side, my 2 year old has a very cute monkey backpack I bought at Walmart last year and the tail is the leash. I get so many compliments and others telling me how I am such a good mom and my son gets so many compliments about his monkey on his back.
The monkey's arms and legs buckle to the front of my son so he cannot break free and he actually loves it. Now, I don't use it everywhere, only when we go to places where there will be a big crowd of people!
In my opinion I would leash. In places with lots of people and distractions around every corner its easy for a child to get lost and it only takes a second. You know your child better than anyone, so you do what you think YOU need to do.
Best of Luck,

 

[sassymom]

My 2 year old would be fine, too, and we're planning to hold hands but I know that other children aren't like that.. so that's just not realistic or possible.

Do you really think it's better to leave a child in a stroller as a passive observer or to use the 'leash' and let them exercise their inner curiosity safely and become an active participant in their environment?

My children had a lot of fun exploring all corners of WDW without a leash. They were definately not passers by on the fun. Two parents + two children = safety. There was never a question where either of my children were at any point in time, and they were free to roam as they wished. When large crowds started we had them hop into the stroller until we got to where we were going. I think it would inhibit the children to have them roped to you, and as I said it was just my opinion. I just wouldn't let the fear of what if influence my decisions as a parent, I make sure I am aware enough for both of them so that they are free to explore life. My safety guard was a necklace both children wore at all times with their names, resort, and our cell phone number on it. I can't tell you how many CMs commented on them wishing more parents did things like that. I never said it was wrong to leash a child it is just something I personally wouldn't do.

 

[emh1129]

My children had a lot of fun exploring all corners of WDW without a leash. They were definately not passers by on the fun. Two parents + two children = safety.

My safety guard was a necklace both children wore at all times with their names, resort, and our cell phone number on it. I can't tell you how many CMs commented on them wishing more parents did things like that. I never said it was wrong to leash a child it is just something I personally wouldn't do.

I think you said "please please please don't put a leash on your child." I know some people aren't comfortable with it for whatever reason, but I think it's important to put ourselves in the shoes of others, so to speak. DH and I also have two children, so we can each take one and don't need to use a leash, but I understand that sometimes there are more children than adults or other circumstances where one might be inclined to use one.

I just see it as a much better option than using the stroller incessantly. It makes me so sad to see a child who has been sitting in their stroller for a long time (I know you didn't do that, so I'm not referring to you personally!). I just think most kids would rather explore and get some exercise. I think the stroller is great for when they're tired, after they've been walking around all day

I think the necklace sounds like a great idea.. how did you make it?

 

[Lovemy3babes]

Why are there always some who feel the need to belittle others' parenting decisions? Anyway, our son is 3 and is a HUGE handful. We're bringing the puppy backpack. It won't be my first choice and I won't immediately put it on him but I like that I'll have it there "just in case". I'd rather him be safe than taken from me.

 

[MATTERHORN]

Why are there always some who feel the need to belittle others' parenting decisions? Anyway, our son is 3 and is a HUGE handful. We're bringing the puppy backpack. It won't be my first choice and I won't immediately put it on him but I like that I'll have it there "just in case". I'd rather him be safe than taken from me.

Rather him be safe? Right, because all kids who aren't on leashes aren't "safe"!


Andrea

 

[MATTERHORN]

I just see it as a much better option than using the stroller incessantly. It makes me so sad to see a child who has been sitting in their stroller for a long time (I know you didn't do that, so I'm not referring to you personally!). I just think most kids would rather explore and get some exercise. I think the stroller is great for when they're tired, after they've been walking around all day

?

And my kids do walk around all day, just not on a leash. It's silly to think that if we don't use a leash, our child must be confined to a stroller all day. Like a PP, mine explore all parts of the park. In fact, there is really no way for a child to be stuck in a stroller all day unless you didn't go on any rides at all and I don't know many people that do that! You can't use one in line or on the rides so obviously they wouldn't be in the stroller ALL day regardless.


Andrea