Toddler "leashes"

[Grumpy's Gal]

we used one at DisneyLand and always in malls and airports. Let people think what they want. I'd rather have a safe child who doesn't have to be carried and who can get some exercise.

 

[runner26.2]

I was adamently opposed to such devices until our third child began to walk, or should I say sprint. My DW was at her wits end and decided to try a tether as she was concerned we would lose him everytime we went somewhere in public, he was much like a puppy seeing a squirrel for the first time. After a few ill fated attempts with the tether -- one memorable occurrence when he wrapped himself around another womans legs -- we gave up on the device and forced him to either hold our hand or be in a stroller. Fortunately he outgrew this phase very quickly -- and without us even losing him.

People know their children and should do whats best for them. There is no evidence of long long psychological disorders associated with their use and while people may not like the look of them they too are entitled to their opinion.

 

[PatricenPete]

Oh no - I don't want anyone to think that I am criticizing one way or the other. I think that as parents, you have to do whatever you feel is best. For ME and my son, I just preferred teaching him to hold hands vs. using the tether.

We also ended up meeting up with friends on the last day of our trip and they were using the tethers that they got with their pal mickeys as tethers for their boys (ages 19 months and almost 3), so to each his own.

 

[Kahana-ri]

We are going this December and I plan to purchase a harness for my active and curious 18-month old. It is all for my piece of mind. Christmas time is suppose to be crazy mad with people all over and I have the dreaded feeling that in the sea of people, it would just take a second for him be swept away. My husband and I are responsible parents and his safety, especially during such a busy time is our first concern.

 

[Sarah304]

This is my first post on this board-so "Hello all" ; I love all the great tips. I was always SO strongly opposed to what I called the "baby-leashes" until I was actually faced with the idea of taking our very active almost two year old son to WDW for the first time (first for the whole family). I have no idea what to expect and yes I have taught him to "hold hands" and "stay with mommy" but in the excitement and crowd I don't want to worry. I do have to apologize to all those poor mother's that I gave "the look" to before I knew what spirited toddler was all about! I hope others are less judgemental and more forgiving with us.

 

[CleveRocks]

Excellent point!! Age does matter!!
Certainly we were no longer needing the harness by age 3, and probably didn't use it much after 2 1/2. And I think that is where CleveRocks may be misunderstanding... at least the point I made. His kids are 5 & 3! We used the harness when our son was less than two... how do you reason with a 1 year old?!?

Not arguing here, just making a quick point. If I am misunderstanding anything here, it's got nothing to do with my kids' ages. Remember, they weren't BORN 5 and 3. I've lived, laughed, and cried through every step of their development, and as I've said, we've been all over the place with them since before my oldest could walk. I've done a lot of it without my wife, due to the constraints of her job.

-- Eric

 

[Rella Bella]

Not arguing here, just making a quick point. If I am misunderstanding anything here, it's got nothing to do with my kids' ages. Remember, they weren't BORN 5 and 3. I've lived, laughed, and cried through every step of their development, and as I've said, we've been all over the place with them since before my oldest could walk. I've done a lot of it without my wife, due to the constraints of her job. -- Eric

Point taken... agree to disagree.

 

[magicmato]

I have just learned that we are ALL bad parents! Why? Because we have not potty trained our children in infancy! YUP! People are training their children to go without diapers while they are just months old! Perhaps we should invite one of these parents here to explain to us since *they* potty trained their child before 12 months, we all should, otherwise we are degrading and dehumanizing our children.

Don't believe me? Have a look for yourself!

To quote the following website: From the day I started working with my 3-month-old son, he rarely needed a diaper, day or night. He stayed dry during most of the day at age 18 months and was finished with all aspects of potty training at age 25 months.

http://www.timl.com/ipt/

ROFL

Now we should all hang our heads for not potty training like some people do at age 3 months... (the shame).

 

[Rella Bella]

I have just learned that we are ALL bad parents! Why? Because we have not potty trained our children in infancy! YUP! People are training their children to go without diapers while they are just months old! Perhaps we should invite one of these parents here to explain to us since *they* potty trained their child before 12 months, we all should, otherwise we are degrading and dehumanizing our children.
Don't believe me? Have a look for yourself!
To quote the following website: From the day I started working with my 3-month-old son, he rarely needed a diaper, day or night. He stayed dry during most of the day at age 18 months and was finished with all aspects of potty training at age 25 months.http://www.timl.com/ipt/
Now we should all hang our heads for not potty training like some people do at age 3 months... (the shame).

Oh dear... I guess I am a bad parent (I've always suspected it)...
My DS wasn't completely trained until almost 3... just in time to start pre-school.
Oh, how I would have loved to miss all those diaper changes!

 

[lil.disney.princess]

i am a member of a website for 'bad-mothers' (the name is ironic!)and we have had countless threads ripping the mick out of the perfect parenting brigade and thier "elimination communication" i cant believe that anyone would WANT to make their baby grow up quicker than they do-lets face it potty training is one of their last links to babyhood!!

 

[The Sweetness]

I used to feel terribly sorry for the shorties attached to a wrist lead or a harness. Now, with my dd7 mo, Im sining quite another tune! Shes only 13 lbs, and already pulling herself up and cruising on anything in sight! The cruising just started, and shes hardly stopped, except to eat, change and sleep! NOW, Im so greatfull that someone invented these items for active tots. Secretly, I hope that Ariel will hate the harness/ lead so much, that she'd rather hold hands or sit nicely in her stroller than wear it. HOWEVER~ as for the people who give you dirty looks, or have rude comments... They can go sit on a sharp rock! You do whats best for your little cupcake, and to you know where with everyone else!

 

[d-r]

I was thinking about this after reading this thread. Before we had our child, I don't know if I would have thought that a harness is a good idea.

We have a now 22-month old boy. He is active, he is curious, but he has a generally easy temperament - not fussy. But he is very, very active.

He does not like riding in a stroller. If you go to the mall or something like that, he has a really hard time staying in a stroller. He doesn't like staying in the "basket" of a grocery cart, either. For either, he can make it a little while, but he gets bored and tired of sitting there.

He also doesn't like prolonged hand holding. He will hold a hand if he crosses the street, and he will take a hand if he is feeling a little uncertain about something. But after a while he is pulling to get his hand out.

He absolutely LOVES wearing a harness, at least at this point in his life. He wears it at the mall, the local zoo, and last Sept. at WDW. He gets excited if it comes out, and puts his arms up to put it on.

Someone looking at him might thing it is "degrading," but I'm pretty sure he'd argue with them if he had the vocabulary. For him it is freedom. Autonomy. The ability to explore a little. He doesn't pull or fuss or anything like that, but he likes to walk around and see the world. he is playing with things. Looking around. Exploring. It is the key to the world for him.

I am so much happier for him to be able to wear a harness at wdw and get to actually interact with the stuff there around him than I would be for him to be strapped in to a stroller most of the time. Don't get me wrong, we have a stroller of course, particularly for the end of the day or for the longer trips of arrival and departure. But during our last trip to MK it basically stayed parked during the time we were there.

Holden has so much fun being allowed to wear a harness. He is able to climb stairs, etc. (which is so fun for him). He is able to look into things. He doesn't feel restricted or "stuck." He can walk under his own ability, and focus on the things he wants to see. He can lead us, which is not very possible from a stroller. He can come to a dead stop and fixate on something. He can run a burst. He can dance if he wants to. He can bend over and pick up a rock. It fits his personality and temperament. He would not have nearly the fun at WDW or the Zoo, etc. if he wasn't able to wear the harness.

So I am going to say I think it is disrepectful to NOT allow your toddler the sort of independence and freedom that a harness allows during a trip to walt disney world. I understand that walking with a child on a harness through a place like walt disney world isn't an easy task, and it requires complete attention and focus from the parent to make sure the child is constantly OK, and that is probably hard for some people to do. Some folks probably just don't have the tolerance to let their child explore on their own at arm's length. And if I saw people not using a harness when their child would obviously be more happy wearing one, I would not say anything to them, or even give them a dirty look, because that would be rude, and I can't tell people how to parent their children. I really do respect other people's rights to thinking about how to raise their children. But, I really do think it is mean and lazy for parents to not allow their child the freedom of a harness when with just a litle more effort and positive parenting guidance skills they could allow their child so much more freedom, particularly at an age (toddler-early preschool) where that autonomy and ability to explore is so important for children's development.

That's just my opinion.

 

[randytenn]

Ok, I guess I'm looking at this from a bit of a different angle. People seem to be caught up that a leash is a degrading item. That it is somehow evil by itself. But, you have to look at the purpose of a leash on an animal.

I put a leash on my dog, because I love him, and I want him to be safe. He will normally walk beside me, but has, on occasion, been distracted by something and will take off running after it (cat, car, mailman). So, I place a leash on him to keep him from being hit by a car, to keep him from getting lost, and to control those unexpected moments. All because I love my dog.

But, these same reasons are not good enough to place a harness on my child? Aren't the reasons exactly the same?

I put a harness on my child, because I love him, and I want him to be safe. He will normally walk beside me, but has, on occasion, been distracted by something and will take off running after it (cat, car, mailman). So, I place a harness on him to keep him from being hit by a car, to keep him from getting lost, and to control those unexpected moments. All because I love my child.

It has been stated that putting a harness on a child is "treating them like an animal". I hope so. Wouldn't it be more degrading to not use as much caution with your child as you do your dog?

 

[Diz-Mommy]

My husband relayed a scary story to me last night... He was actually told not to tell me, because my BIL and SIL thought it would make me more neurotic about our son during our trip. My SIL works with a women who went to WDW or L (not sure which) 15 years ago. They turned their back on their small kid for a minute and he was GONE

They immediatley went to security and learned there were only two exits to the park they were in, so the husband and wife split up and went with security to both gates. They were told to only look at the faces of kids while looking for their little boy. Well, the lucky mother spotted her kid and it was good she was only looking for his face. The kidnappers had drugged him, he was sleeping in a stroller, they had changed his clothing and even colored his hair somehow.

Talk about horrifying! Personally I don't like the idea of using a leash, but if you feel like thats what you need to do to keep your child safe by all means do. Just please don't let it give you a false sense of security. Its really sad we can't trust anyone these days around our kids, and that was 15 years ago!

 

[In a hurry]

I believe that is an old wives tale. Check snopes.

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/parental/kidnap.htm

 

[Diz-Mommy]

I believe that is an old wives tale. Check snopes.

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/parental/kidnap.htm

I thought about looking it up on snopes too, but since it was coming from someone that my SIL works with first hand, I took it for at least a more dramatized version of a true story. I don't mean to be a fear-monger. Just passing along something I was told last night whether it be fact or fiction.

 

[pearlieq]

Definitley an urban legend! That story's been around for a while--it always happened to someone's sister's cousin's hairdresser's niece and firm details are never available.

Still, it does accomplish its aim, which is to scare the pants off of parents!

 

[In a hurry]

OK, admitting that I told this story for years! I swear someone I knew who worked at DL told me! I didn't mean to sound harsh, if I did. I just didn't want anyone to panic.

 

[Diz-Mommy]

Definitley an urban legend! That story's been around for a while--it always happened to someone's sister's cousin's hairdresser's niece and firm details are never available.

Still, it does accomplish its aim, which is to scare the pants off of parents!

It sure did scare the pants off of me! And then my husband says to me from accross the dinner table..."do you think, you could recognize our kid just by looking at his face?" OF COURSE I COULD, NOW STOP SCARING ME RIGHT BEFORE OUR TRIP YOU YAHOO!!!!

In a Hurry, thanks! I appreciate you squashing the story. I was hoping in my heart of hearts that it wasn't true. Even though I still plan and always have planned on keeping my eyes peeled on our little guy

 

[In a hurry]

He said that to you? You know, I would take a black marker (water based)the first day you get there, and write your name on the little guys forehead. Look your husband in the eye and tell him that it is permanent marker so you will recognize the little guy!