To what extent do you help your teen find a job?

[luvmarypoppins]

Well I am trying to help ds 16 find a summer lifeguard job. He already has a job at the bowling alley which we drive him back and forth to, I had originally talked to one of the employees about him just to get that job, he also had a friend who helped. Now I read 4 local papers and look for a job for him, I have called 2 places, hand written a resume for him. He did type the resume and a cover letter at school for one job. I faxed a resume to one place and now today talked to another guy who wants his resume plus a whole list of days and hours he is available to work. I told the guy he will have to wait to ds comes home etc. Now ds this morning asked me to call back job #1. I said I already talked to that lady and she said she wants to talk to you and since I already faxed the resume etc. YOU should call her back etc. Gee. So I really want him to get the job but where should I draw the line. I will also have to drive him to these interviews if they want him etc. Get him the working papers etc. DH already also drove him to 7 lifeguard training lessons and I drove for 1. We never ask him for gas money etc. But I feel like I might be doing more than my fair share. I know he has homework etc. but I only asked him to make 1 return phone call. He said, mom, you handle things much better like that than I do. Gee , he will have to talk to the lady for the interview anyway.

 

[jrydberg]

He said, mom, you handle things much better like that than I do.

If nothing else, this is a good reason for him to handle it. How will he get any better at it if you do it?

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I think you have done WAY too much already. Driving him is one thing. Doing his resume and calling the job for him is rediculous!

The kid needs to do it on his own. How else will he learn?

 

[stinkerbelle]

Originally posted by Jenn Lynn
Doing his resume and calling the job for him is rediculous!

The kid needs to do it on his own. How else will he learn?

ditto. He's gotta learn that if he wants the job bad enough - HE'S gotta work for it.

And I can't believe you need a resume at age 16 these days! When I was that age I just walked into a bunch of places, filled out their application, and either spoke with managers right then or scheduled a meeting time.

 

[tkd lisa]

You've done enough. I'm interviewing for summer babysitters, and I wouldn't consider anyone who had their mom do the calling for them.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

When I was 16 I found my own job, did my own application and made my own resume later when I needed it. My mommy never helped me with ANY of my jobs.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

i agree with everyone else..while its great to have help, he might not learn all the stuff he needs to do to get a job...

 

[MICKEY88]

Originally posted by Jenn Lynn
I think you have done WAY too much already. Driving him is one thing. Doing his resume and calling the job for him is rediculous!

The kid needs to do it on his own. How else will he learn?

I agree 100% if I were an employer I'd want to hire someone who showed some responsibility for themselves..

2 daughters working,,they both got the jobs by themselves, we told them is they were mature enough to work they had to find the jobs and go thru the normal steps to aquire them..

 

[jkovick]

I know you are trying to be a helpful, supportive Mom but honestly, you are doing too much for him in this regard.
Also, think of this from an employers point of view--- will an employer be all that impressed by a young person who's Mother makes all the arrangements for him?
I totally see that you are trying to help but it really is too much.

 

[phorsenuf]

The most I did for my son was I told him the movie theater was hiring. He went and applied and got the job.
That's all I'll do for them, mention I saw somewhere hiring.
If they are old enough to get a job, they are old enough to find it.
Personally, I think my kids would be mortified if they knew I was finding a job for them. A little embarrasing I think.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well my take on this is that you have already "set" this up so I would make sure he follows through. I would continue to provide help. I would have him make the phone call while I sat there with him providing moral support for him since you are the one that started this ball rolling. Some of us get a little frightened (phone phobias) and it is good to have a great teacher help us out.

Next time I would make the "rules" clear on his responsibility to finding a job. Decide with him ahead of time what is expected and what you are willingly to do.

 

[solotraveler]

I think it's great that you're so supportive of your child finding a job. I think that it's also grea that you're willing to drive him places to look for work.

But, speaking as someone who hires and trains college kids for a living, I think you may be doing him a disservice. Whenever I get calls from parents, those applicants tend to go in the "not in a million years" pile. I think if you had him make all the calls and do all the work, he'd do a lot better in his search and would learn a thing or two. I think he might value a job he got himself more too.

JMHO.

Solotraveler

 

[bjgrazi]

My 15 y/o is also looking for a job, I've given her numbers of jobs I've seen posted and driven her to the place so she could put in an application. She has made her own phone calls. She wants to work, she has to see what goes into finding the job. It's helped her realize it's not so easy out there and to appreciate what she has.

 

[mudnuri]

Geez, yours is one kid I wouldnt hire...and especially as a guard! I hire highschool/college kids for our rec center, and train guards for the ARC...guarding is probably the one job a teen could get that requires more responsibility than just showing up and flippin burgers etc... I had a few like your son....mom called me for the application to be mailed, brought it in for the kid, called me back to schedule the interview...walked the kid in for the interview....would have sat in on the interview I think!.....needless to say I didnt hire them.

I do have 1 that's still got mom doing most of her work for her however she's not a guard...

the most you should be doing is saying "so and so is hiring"..and
THATS IT! then maybe drive them, however if he's 16, doesnt he have a license?

Brandy

 

[caitycaity]

however if he's 16, doesnt he have a license?

in the state that i grew up in, the earliest you could get a license was 17, or 18 if you didn't take driver's ed.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

I think you have been very supportive but I think you are doing way too much for him. He needs to understand the process of finding a job. I would sit down and help him write the resume by helping him with how a resume should look, but I wouldn't do it without him there providing the information and learning from the experience. Driving him is great because if he can't receive his license he needs the help. I just would stop making the calls and doing the rest without him doing it. Make him make the effort.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Well here is a little update - I took the mystery man machines advice and told my son I would stand by him while he called the girl back. Yes, he admitted he does have phone phobia, plus a little lack of self confidence. He called at 4:05 right when he got home from school and she asked him to come at 4;30, gee approximately 25 mins. to get there, change etc. I drove him over and he asked me to come in. This time I did say NO WAY. I said I will wait in the parking lot and if this is not the right bldg. I will drive you to the right one. I guess another reason I was helping him was because he gets out of school at 3, has a 1 hour bus ride home and where we live if you dare call someone between 4 and 5 they give you a big in your face attitude, like what, you are calling me now for etc. People here are best reached before lunch. After 1 its useless as I left 2 messages for info trying to see about working papers for him, no one called me back. The girl said he can work up to 26 hrs. a week and its 3 blocks from home so this is perfect. Also the other guy I called said he could work in winter and do his homework. Amazing. I guess alot of the older people dont use the pool, but they must provide the service since its part of their homeowner dues. Didnt know this would be such a good career over here. I guess I better talk the next ds into taking the class. Well it does seem like everyone here thinks I do too much for my kids. But I do have my reasons and they arent mama boys etc. People actually comment me how well behaved they are etc. Ask Tuffcookie, she knows. Thanks for all the advice. Also the girl asked did your mom type this resume for you? Gee, I guess it might have looked a little too good. I didnt type it, I only wrote it. I purposely let him keep 1 typo in it etc.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Good for you for having him call himself and go into the interview alone. It will just build his confidence in that area.

 

[poohandwendy]

I do not involve myself in my childrens employment on any level (unless there was something illegal or abusive going on). My 17yo DD and my 14 yo DS both have jobs. (my DS works for my BILs landscaping business, and NO, I do not get involved in his employment with him)

It is up to them to find the job, get the job and keep the job. In the case that they need transportation, it must fit my schedule. If they are sick, they call in. Unless they were incapacitated in a hospital, I will not call their employer to speak on their behalf. There is no learning experience if they aren't handling it all by themselves.

Acquiring and keeping a job requires a level of responsibility that must be met by the employee, not their parents. If they cannot handle that, they are not ready to work. Period.

 

[CEDmom]

Personally, I think you've gone way overboard. It's one thing to maybe bring your kids resume into work to see if anyone knows someone looking for summer help but your involvement should stop there. How is he going to go out into the world if he's not allowed to try and perhaps fail on his own? Give him the reins and let him go at it alone.