To spank or not to spank

DSNY FN

<font color=darkcoral>DVC is the place for me<br><
Joined
Sep 18, 2000
Messages
2,117
Ok so here it is this one seems to be controversial at best. Do you spank your ids or not?
I spank the kids but my wife doens't believe in it there were a number of lawsuits filed by people who saw someone spank their child. They would call the police and have the person charged with assault stupid in my opinion.
They have now passed the law that spanking your children in Canada is not a crime and so on.
Do you spank and if so how do you feel about people that sneer at those that do it As stated I spank and could care less what anyone else thinks about how I punish my child.
 
You're talking about spanking children!LOL

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

:duck:

Scratch
pirate:
 
You are to funny Janet but hey spanking adults can be fun to I mean I have no idea what you are talking about that is just wrong and adults should never engage in stuff like that it is immoral hehehe.
 

I have found that people who spank are really doing it because they would rather be the ones getting spanked and they are angry that they aren't so they take it out on their kids.
 
Well, I read "I spank my wife" also...maybe you could adopt the wonders of punctiuation to your posts....
 
/
Why bother I like to keep people trying to figure out what I am saying most of the time hehehe.
 
Ok all fixed sorry didn't take time to proof read it before I posted my bad.
 
Nope! I don't...EVER. But I have a warped opinion...I was beaten by my dad and brother. Many trips to the hospital! So, I dont hit at all. DH doesn't disagree with it...but he doesn't do it. I think I would freak out if I saw him hit one of the kids.

Now DH was spanked...and actaully he was hung in the garage in a rice bag when he was 2 and beaten (I guess like a pinata) with a wooden spoon because he wouldn't eat!

I am one of those people that freaks out at the mall when I see parents hit their kids. If anyone remembers the mom in the parking lot who beat her kid (it was all over the news becuase the survalince camera got it on tape) and she was charged...I didn't sleep for days after seeing that.

So, to answer the question..the same way I did 5 minutes ago when I started the post..LOL! NOPE...I dont hit my kids...EVER!
 
Originally posted by onecoolmama
Nope! I don't...EVER. But I have a warped opinion...I was beaten by my dad and brother.
:( that's horrible. Spanking and beating are totally different, I'm sure you know that. I don't beat my kids, but a spank after repeated warnings means business and gets the 5yr olds attention. :eek: That's what I am aiming for.

My lil guy is 16mo's and doesn't get spanked, but I am sure his time will come. :p
 
My 18 month old get a swat on the butt now especially since he has started biting.
 
I see a difference. Most parents do hit out of anger, however. That was what happened to me...so while yes, some people have more control..I still watch it.

The other thing about it...at least at the stores when I see it. I see a child that is throwing a tantrum (usually becuase they want something) and the parent hits/spanks them. All that does is make the child scream more...so I dont get the logic of that.

I remember when I was 7, I was at a friends house and her mom ran a daycare for little kids (4 and under.) Well, one of the kids was throwing a tantrum becuase his mom was leaving..as soon as the mom left, the child was spanked! Well, I lost it..I ran crying and hid from them until I guess they called my mom to come get me. I was sure that if I came out...i was going to get hit too.

So like I said, I can't watch it...I freak out!

:earseek:


Edit: I NEVER went back to that persons house agian!
 
Also a former abuse victim, studying towards a masters in social work...

Spanking can have it's place when a child is young, but only when it's controlled. If a parent feels angry in any way shape or form when they hit their child, then they are doing it for the wrong reasons. Spanking should be strictly negative reinforcement for an action that is considered wrong. It works by helping a child associate pain and consquences of negative actions. Almost every study shows, however, that spanking loses it effectivess before a child reaches their pre-teens.

Having said that, I myself have never had to hit a child. This includes helping my father run a daycare for ten years, and teaching sunday school classes. In my experience, which has also extended to family advocacy cases I've dealt with in the military, spanking is almost always an instance where the parent needs more instruction/technique on child rearing. A platoon leader sat down and explained to me once during a particulary hard situation involving three abused children, "No one is taught how to raise children...everyone just assumes we should naturally know how, and the fact is that very few of us really know how."

Now of course, the natural and first response from any abusive parent is, "well, it's a lot different when you're raising your own children." I, however, have yet to find a child who has not benefitted from being removed from an abusive child raising environment, to more positive surroundings. The sad fact is that in almost every instance, spanking and the rebellious attitude it normally provokes in children, is usually a result of the parent's negative experiences more than the childs.

But, the main point is that a good parent needs to be able to find a distinction between spanking as a deterrent, and spanking out of anger and emotional control. Signs to look for:

1) Calling your child names while spanking: This is actually referred to as emotional abuse, and has been proven to cause more damage to a child then the physical kind.

2) Above and beyond what was originally intended: When the sheer emotion of spanking causes you to swat a few more times than originally intended.

3) Losing control of the situation: A common occurence in older children, who begin to develope defenses against the pain of abuse, can sometimes laugh at or further provoke the parent whie being spanked, causing rage and perhaps leading to further abuse. Many of the worst abuse cases involved children who tried to "catch" the spanking instrument and became victims of rage induced violence.

4) Abrupt changes in instrumentation: If you happen to catch yourself either switching from hand to paddle, or switch, or vice versa in the middle of spanking, this could be an indication of an emotionally angry reaction to the situation.

I myself have arrived at a point where I won't stop a person in public who swats their child on the year. Anything above and beyond that though, and I will make a scene...possibly even beat the person myself. And I'll definetely take the time to chop down a parent who belittles/makes fun of/calls names to their child, because that is simply not good parenting...it's ineffective, contributes nothing to a child's well being, and frankly, not fair to a five year old who doesn't have the wit to defend themselves.
 
<b>Not</b>

I was spanked and I always try to remember how it made me feel.
 
Spanking should be strictly negative reinforcement for an action that is considered wrong. It works by helping a child associate pain and consquences of negative actions. Almost every study shows, however, that spanking loses it effectivess before a child reaches their pre-teens.

very well said.. spanking alone will not work. IMHO...It needs to be used as the punishment for something the child clearly knew was wrong. It is not "discipline, and will not work unless real discipline is use to follow up on the punishment
 
I was spanked as a child, but not often. My parents found that taking away my books was a far more effective punishment.

I do not personally PLAN on spanking, but I won't rule it out.
 
I never thought I'd do it either, but I do when it is REALLY necessary. I only use my hand, never a belt, ruler, or whatever objects people use to spank their kids. I wouldn't know how hard I was hitting if I didn't feel it myself, I guess.
I remember my best friend in 7th grade used to get beat with a belt on the backs of her legs and she would come in with HUGE purple welts in the shape of a belt.:( It's sad, because back then nothing was said or done, today it would definitely have been looked into.


Biting is a behavior that is ALWAYS rewarded with a pop on the behind, and a time out..
 
I have spanked my 5yr old a couple times in the past for being very naughty - but in the end, it just made me feel really really bad.

I have found that having her stand in the corner, going to bed early, and being sent to her room are far more effective punishments and they are totally harmless. Afterall.....her room is the best room in the whole house:) . For the life of me, I don't understand why she thinks I am sending her to the dungeon when she has to go there - I guess it's because it's against her will.
 
Time outs worked well for DS but do not work at all for DD. spanking is hit or miss with her (LOL bad pun)... usually grounding her from TV works well. Today I did spank her for the 1st time in a long while. We were in Kroger and she would not stop doing dangerous stuff no matter how many times I told her to stop, that she owuld be grounded etc. Oh how I hate that she it too big to put in the cart now. that was the perfect "punishment" to get her to behave while shopping.
 














Save Up to 30% on Rooms at Walt Disney World!

Save up to 30% on rooms at select Disney Resorts Collection hotels when you stay 5 consecutive nights or longer in late summer and early fall. Plus, enjoy other savings for shorter stays.This offer is valid for stays most nights from August 1 to October 11, 2025.
CLICK HERE







New Posts







DIS Facebook DIS youtube DIS Instagram DIS Pinterest

Back
Top