To go, or not to go, that is the question...

[kpgriswold]

My DD16 is taking a trip with her high school music group April 8-12. Much as I wanted to, I did NOT sign up to be a chaperone because DD was afraid I would cramp her style.

Today the director sent out a message saying that they need 2 more chaperones, because a couple had to cancel. And now I don't know what to do!

On the one hand, I don't want to ruin DD's fun. I remeber how cool it was to travel with my own HS band, to act a little crazy and feel a little free. I've told her I will not be in her business, but she is still unhappy with the idea.

On the other hand, SOMEBODY'S parent has to go, or there is no trip. It is only $325 for me for meals, hotel, travel, AND tickets. And I get to do Disney with NO small children for the first time in 20 years!

What would you do?

 

[frtchr]

Have you asked your daughter? Maybe she would like having you there! Alternately, could you go and chaperone a group she's not in? I assume each chaperone is in charge of certain students. Maybe you could ask that she not be in your group so she doesn't feel the extra pressure of being watched by mom.

 

[frtchr]

Ooops. Just saw that she doesn't like the idea. Ignore my first question. LOL

 

[sjs314]

I had a similar situation years ago with my son when his class was going to Washington DC, I wanted so badly to go but he said oh mom no, please don't sign up....so I did not.

My advise to you is go ahead and sign up , you see my son passed away last July and I do regret not going, just one more thing he and I never shared together.

 

[Hannathy]

I would respect her wishes and not go. It will only be a sore point for let's see All her life! (I know girls)

SEriously if she doesn't want you to go I wouldn't. I think kids need to spread their wings a bit without Mom around and to her it will not be the same trip with you there, no matter how much you try to shrink into the background.

I always thought that the various groups in a high school should get together and swap chaperones. You know Band parents go with the Orchestra on their trip and Vice Versa. Parents of juniors chaperone the senior dance and senior parent guard the junior dance. This way no ones style gets crimped.

 

[momof1princess]

perhaps you could speak with the band director, and let him know that you would be thrilled to be a chaperone, as long as you're not assigned to chaperone your daughter. if you're not in her group, she could still have her freedom, you get to go along on the trip for cheap and the band doesn't have to stay home because there weren't enough chaperones. win-win for everyone. hope it works out for you!

 

[msmayor]

Personally, I'd rather do Disney with small children than chaperone teens and tweens. I think its actually going to be more work than you may think, and you may be surprised at how much park/fun time you actually have.

 

[iluvzacefron]

I would totally go, i have been the girl that told my mom that i didnt want her to go but when i got there, i wished she would have came with me. The other girls had their mom there and she would give them money if they ran out or ask their mom to hold stuff. Thinking about it now, i wish i wouldnt have been so stubborn and just let her go with me! But this is just my two cents about it!

 

[Samar]

GO!

It's not like you'll be holding your DD's hand the entire time. Talk to her and let her know that you won't be that crazy mom insisting on her taking pics with all of the princesses. lol

Chaperoning teens can be hard but I know I'd definitely go if I had the chance to keep an eye on MY teen and tough cookies if I cramp their style

 

[Swimalie]

When I was a senior in HS our band went to Russia. My dad was a chaperone. If I remember right, I wasn't thrilled at the time but looking back at it now, it is a great memory my dad and I have together (I'm 39 now). I didn't hang out with him much during the trip but he was always some where near us. Although in Russia back then, we always had adults surrounding us. I'd say go but ask that you are not assigned to chaperone your daughter. One day your daughter will look back on that trip and be able to share it with you as a special time you 2 had together.

 

[billybobblockhead]

I would go but do as momofprincess said and ask not to be involved with chaperoning your daughter's group.

 

[auralia]

when my band went there were distinct groups assigned to each chaprone (10 years ago lol) if your mom went she was always assigned to a group that was "as far away from you as possible" of course in a hotel that is harder, but if you were a girl your mom was assigned to the boys genearally, if you were younger your mom was assigned to older and so on and so fourth

 

[sk!mom]

I'm a big believer in letting my kids spread their wings and have these supervised chances to be on their own. I never chaperone. However, I wouldn't let the trip be cancelled.

I would contact the Band Director and tell him that if no one else volunteers that you are willing but want to be assigned students other than your DD.

 

[kacaju]

I'm a big believer in letting my kids spread their wings and have these supervised chances to be on their own. I never chaperone. However, I wouldn't let the trip be cancelled.

I would contact the Band Director and tell him that if no one else volunteers that you are willing but want to be assigned students other than your DD.

ditto

 

[jpeka65844]

My son is only 4 but if he's ever in a group that does this, there's no way Mom and Dad are staying at home!

We're DVC members and would stay onsite and DH and I joke that if we see our kid in the park, we'll pretend we don't know who he is!!

I say go but lay down some ground rules with DD about how you are to behave.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

I would go.
I wouldn't care about cramping my daughters style

 

[scrappingizlife]

I would say go. No particular reason other than it's a cheap trip to Disney. When I was a cheerleader, there were always the moms that we expected to come with us to our competitions. I wish my mom had been more active with me. I did it for 4 years, and she came to one basketball game and one football game, both my senior year. She never came to anything else. Back then I was like haha, I don't have my mom around, but now I look back and wish that she had come to more of my games and my competitions.

 

[kpgriswold]

Thanks, all! This helped.

I am going, but on another bus and in charge of a group that does not include my DD or her buddies. She was ticked, but after we talked about it, she decided it not be as bad as she fears. So...

I'm going to Disney! Yes, at the height of Spring Break madness. Yes, on a bus for 2 days. Yes, with a horde of hormonal teens with spring fever. And yes, staying at ASMusic with the other million high schools who will be there.

But it's Disney. You understand.

 

[momof1princess]

Thanks, all! This helped.

I am going, but on another bus and in charge of a group that does not include my DD or her buddies. She was ticked, but after we talked about it, she decided it not be as bad as she fears. So...

I'm going to Disney! Yes, at the height of Spring Break madness. Yes, on a bus for 2 days. Yes, with a horde of hormonal teens with spring fever. And yes, staying at ASMusic with the other million high schools who will be there.

But it's Disney. You understand.

congratulations! i'm glad you decided to go! your DD may not realize it now, but in the event (heaven forbid) that there is a problem of any kind, she WILL be glad that you're on the trip with her, even if not in the same group. have a great time!

 

[daisy2jae]

Thanks, all! This helped.

I am going, but on another bus and in charge of a group that does not include my DD or her buddies. She was ticked, but after we talked about it, she decided it not be as bad as she fears. So...

I'm going to Disney! Yes, at the height of Spring Break madness. Yes, on a bus for 2 days. Yes, with a horde of hormonal teens with spring fever. And yes, staying at ASMusic with the other million high schools who will be there.

But it's Disney. You understand.

I'm glad you're going. You'll look back and be happy you have this memory. She'll understand and be happy too when she's older. My parents never came to my activities. Now I'm 29 and running my first half marathon this summer. My dad is coming to watch. I'm so excited he's now getting involved. Never know when it will be the last time we see each other. My DH got leukemia at 19 and was told he had 2 yrs to live. He's still here today with us. We live each day like it could be our last and our children are raised the same way. However our oldest is 10 so I'm sure we'll run into this same situation when she's a little older. Enjoy your trip!!