To gift or not to gift?

[kharmagirl]

I feel like I should write somewhere, perhaps on our website under the registry page, that we would just love your presence and a gift is not needed. Yes it's guilt, but I don't want people who are spending all sorts of money to come to Disney to also feel like they have to give me a hundred dollar check or big gift. DF's mother thinks it is improper to say that and that we will be stealing their joy and integrity because we are saying do not give us a gift. How is everyone handling this?

 

[Disney-Chick]

We put down that we did not want to receive any gifts as the cost of attending our wedding was gift enough. I don't think it's bad to put this down. We still did receive gifts. If you want the wording we used just let me know.

 

[kharmagirl]

We put down that we did not want to receive any gifts as the cost of attending our wedding was gift enough. I don't think it's bad to put this down. We still did receive gifts. If you want the wording we used just let me know.

I'd love to see your wording. Thanks!

 

[Lisacope]

I did this as well for my VR - I simply said that "Our Guests Presence is our most treasured Gift" and please do not bring gifts.

 

[chryscrazy]

I only registered because people kept calling my mom asking her about the registry- mainly people not coming. I told her to spread the word to the people coming that I would truly rather them put any gift money toward them doing something special in Orlando. I told her to really emphasize that I really mean that and am not just trying to be nice.

 

[Disney-Chick]

I'd love to see your wording. Thanks!

We said the following:

The Bride and Groom are not asking for any gifts as they understand the large undertaking of travelling so far to be a part of their special day, and would like to see everyone enjoy themselves in the place where Dreams Come True.

Sorry took so long had to go searching for it.

 

[kharmagirl]

Thank you all for your responses and wording.

Disneychick - don't be silly - that was a very fast response in my opinion.

chryscrazy - I too wasn't going to register because there is not much that we need, but I was told if I didn't I was going to get a lot of picture frames and lingerie and FMIL was so sad and disappointed because she saw it as us not wanting her or anyone else to experience the joy of giving us a gift.

I had intended to say something along the lines of what you all wrote because although I know there are some people who will give a gift no matter what, I don't want people to feel obligated to give us something in addition to coming to the wedding. Unfortunately I had this conversation with DF just before his mother called and so he mentioned it to her. Now I have yet one more thing that we have differing opinions on . ooh boy.

 

[Disney-Chick]

I didn't get a lot of frames only one but my goodness if I get anymore towels or faceclothes I am going to scream or open up my own towel/face clothe store

If you want to put down that you don't want gifts then do so. It is what you want and who wants loads of stuff that will not be used.

Good luck with your planning. Im sure you will have a wonderful wedding.

 

[rosworms]

i'm greedy... i still want presents. and wrapping paper. shiny wrapping paper.... and bubble wrap.

 

[kharmagirl]

I didn't get a lot of frames only one but my goodness if I get anymore towels or faceclothes I am going to scream or open up my own towel/face clothe store

If you want to put down that you don't want gifts then do so. It is what you want and who wants loads of stuff that will not be used.

Good luck with your planning. Im sure you will have a wonderful wedding.

Too funny! I say start selling on eBay!

DF and I are in our late 30's. I've had my own house for 10 years. I have everything I need or want because I refused to wait for a husband to get nice things (never thought he'd really come along...) DF really wants to tell people to just give us cash but that one I said no way to. Of course I would love the cash - we have home improvements and a new house to buy and furniture for the new house... but my guilt at asking people to spend tons of money to come to my wedding takes over... and we don't really NEED the money. I swear this registering/gift thing is more stress than the actual planning... that part's been easy...

 

[Disney-Chick]

Too funny! I say start selling on eBay!

DF and I are in our late 30's. I've had my own house for 10 years. I have everything I need or want because I refused to wait for a husband to get nice things (never thought he'd really come along...) DF really wants to tell people to just give us cash but that one I said no way to. Of course I would love the cash - we have home improvements and a new house to buy and furniture for the new house... but my guilt at asking people to spend tons of money to come to my wedding takes over... and we don't really NEED the money. I swear this registering/gift thing is more stress than the actual planning... that part's been easy...

I have been on my own as well for over 10 years and DH is 9 years older than myself so had a house etc. so money would be better for us as well but asking for that is not appropriate. We did receive over $2000 in money which we are putting towards finishing our basement. Hopefully more will give what is needed than things that are not. I know someone that put down they would like everyone to put money towards their honeymoon and gave info for the travel agency. The amount was not given so if someone could only afford $20 the couple would not know. I like that idea.