To Elope or No? Need any and all advice!

[Disney Doll]

I mentioned having a brunch to my DFiance's sister and she looked me square in the eye and said "That is so tacky."
From that day I ruled it out (can you tell I'm a people pleaser and not a me pleaser? ) but right now, it's looking good.

Oh and I love your comment. I will have to remember that.

Great advice everyone! Again, if you have more, send it my way! [/QUOTE]

Really...she thinks brunch is tacky??? Isn't that something? I love brunch. We had a brunch for my parents' 40th anniversary. I love going to brunch. I love the whole idea of brunch.

I think you should not worry about what your future SIL thinks and worry about what pleases you and future-DH in terms of how you want to celebrate your wedding with your family.

Truthfully, when my DH & I were engaged, if his family got out of line, he kind of stepped in and handled it. Any one of his sister's making a comment about something being tacky would have probably had him saying "Well, we'll do it whatever you want if you want to pay for it". He was pretty good at shutting them down when necessary, although I have ot admit, they were pretty good for the most part. I got along very well with his parents and out of his 3 sisters, 2 of them are great. One is a nut, but every family has one!

 

[Imzadi]

It is so funny you bring this up.. I have ALWAYS wanted a brunch reception-breakfast food is my favorite, it gives me the rest of the day to just be with my husband, etc. That menu sounds great!!

I mentioned having a brunch to my DFiance's sister and she looked me square in the eye and said "That is so tacky."
From that day I ruled it out (can you tell I'm a people pleaser and not a me pleaser? ) but right now, it's looking good.

My suggestion to you is to stop asking other people, (except us DISers ) how you should have your wedding. Especially if you already know you are a people pleaser. Otherwise you will get into the exact situation in your OP that you hoped to avoid.

You & DFi are going to have to decide if you are going to have the wedding & reception YOU want or do you want one that pleases other people aside from your parents.

This wedding & reception is for or about DFiance's sister or your extended family who want an alcoholic reception.

If anything, that should make paring down the guest list a lot easier. When they get upset at not being invited, you can say, "Well, it's going to be a brunch with no alcohol. The exact kind of event you don't want to go to or consider tacky. So we left you off the list." I would actually mentione that you were thinking of eloping to avoid the very uncomfortable situations these people are placing you in. Maybe you'll find they couldn't give a fig in the end about you wanting to have it your way. Again, you may foind out who NOT to invite.

There is a line in the Bible that marriage is about leaving your parent's families and cleaving unto each other to form your own family. It's about growing up and carving your own path. You let your extended families set the tone & boundaries about your wedding, then you've set the tone & lack of boundaries for your marriage.

 

[Scurvy]

Really...she thinks brunch is tacky??? Isn't that something? I love brunch. We had a brunch for my parents' 40th anniversary. I love going to brunch. I love the whole idea of brunch.

Me, too! I've said I wouldn't change anything about my wedding, and I don't think I would. But when I was married I had never heard of a brunch reception and if it had occurred to me to do something like that I might have had one. Brunch is one of my favorite kinds of meals! I love the different breakfast foods you could have: a waffle bar, omelet bar, quiches, fresh fruit platters, yogurt and granola parfaits. You could even splurge and have a juice bar area with freshly sqeezed juices, or a nice coffee station with all sorts of flavored syrups, or an big assortment of hot teas.

Now not only am I craving breakfast foods, I'm also trying to think of a reason to throw a party just so I can use some of these ideas for it!

From a purely selfish standpoint, having a brunch reception appeals to me because it frees up the rest of the day, so if you're heading out for your honeymoon you can get an earlier start.

 

[Imzadi]

Me, too! I've said I wouldn't change anything about my wedding, and I don't think I would. But when I was married I had never heard of a brunch reception and if it had occurred to me to do something like that I might have had one. Brunch is one of my favorite kinds of meals! I love the different breakfast foods you could have: a waffle bar, omelet bar, quiches, fresh fruit platters, yogurt and granola parfaits. You could even splurge and have a juice bar area with freshly sqeezed juices, or a nice coffee station with all sorts of flavored syrups, or an big assortment of hot teas.

Oooo! That does sound yummy. And it would be so much cheaper than a luch or dinner reception. also, there are many wonderful restaurants that have lovely enclosed glass patios or garden areas perfect for a brunch reception or party. You don't even have to decorate them as the restaurant usually already has it as part of their ambiance. Plus the light in those glass patios are perfect for pictures.

Just add in a champagne mimosa toast and you are all set. A vanilla orange flavor wedding cake would go nicely with the theme.

 

[Rora]

You could also elope and let your mom plan a cocktail reception for when you got back home.

This is a great idea-- I just don't know if my mom would be okay with it.

LOL! How about this. This stranger online is insisting you do not serve alcohol, and you have the wedding you want, even if it's a morning wedding.
I think I'll print out this thread on really nice paper and give it out as my wedding favor!!
Frankly, it is tacky to be rude to the bride to be just because she is asking about a morning wedding.

I love breakfast at any time of the day, just had it for lunch as a matter of fact. lol

So did I!!

I mentioned having a brunch to my DFiance's sister and she looked me square in the eye and said "That is so tacky."
From that day I ruled it out (can you tell I'm a people pleaser and not a me pleaser? ) but right now, it's looking good.

Oh and I love your comment. I will have to remember that.

Great advice everyone! Again, if you have more, send it my way!

Really...she thinks brunch is tacky??? Isn't that something? I love brunch. We had a brunch for my parents' 40th anniversary. I love going to brunch. I love the whole idea of brunch.

I think you should not worry about what your future SIL thinks and worry about what pleases you and future-DH in terms of how you want to celebrate your wedding with your family.

Truthfully, when my DH & I were engaged, if his family got out of line, he kind of stepped in and handled it. Any one of his sister's making a comment about something being tacky would have probably had him saying "Well, we'll do it whatever you want if you want to pay for it". He was pretty good at shutting them down when necessary, although I have ot admit, they were pretty good for the most part. I got along very well with his parents and out of his 3 sisters, 2 of them are great. One is a nut, but every family has one![/quote]
Thankfully, DFiance will handle his family drama but just knowing that "brunch is tacky" upsets me but honestly, I just have to learn to not care about what other people think and just do what's best for me and DFiance. Gotta work on that!

If anything, that should make paring down the guest list a lot easier. When they get upset at not being invited, you can say, "Well, it's going to be a brunch with no alcohol. The exact kind of event you don't want to go to or consider tacky. So we left you off the list." I would actually mentione that you were thinking of eloping to avoid the very uncomfortable situations these people are placing you in. Maybe you'll find they couldn't give a fig in the end about you wanting to have it your way. Again, you may foind out who NOT to invite.

At the risk of being snarky, I plan on telling everyone who I would invite the plan (if it is a non-alcoholic brunch.. or a destination wedding) and if they seem all about it, then I will simply not invite them. When they are concerned about their lack of an invitation I will say they just didn't seem interested BUT are welcome to come if they would like.

Me, too! I've said I wouldn't change anything about my wedding, and I don't think I would. But when I was married I had never heard of a brunch reception and if it had occurred to me to do something like that I might have had one. Brunch is one of my favorite kinds of meals! I love the different breakfast foods you could have: a waffle bar, omelet bar, quiches, fresh fruit platters, yogurt and granola parfaits. You could even splurge and have a juice bar area with freshly sqeezed juices, or a nice coffee station with all sorts of flavored syrups, or an big assortment of hot teas.

Now not only am I craving breakfast foods, I'm also trying to think of a reason to throw a party just so I can use some of these ideas for it!

From a purely selfish standpoint, having a brunch reception appeals to me because it frees up the rest of the day, so if you're heading out for your honeymoon you can get an earlier start.

This is exactly one of the reasons I love brunch. Early start on the honeymoon and I *hopefully* won't be exhausted from staying up late for the reception!

Plus, I love Brunch!

Oooo! That does sound yummy. And it would be so much cheaper than a luch or dinner reception. also, there are many wonderful restaurants that have lovely enclosed glass patios or garden areas perfect for a brunch reception or party. You don't even have to decorate them as the restaurant usually already has it as part of their ambiance. Plus the light in those glass patios are perfect for pictures.
Great idea!!
Just add in a champagne mimosa toast and you are all set. A vanilla orange flavor wedding cake would go nicely with the theme.

Hey- you really hit the nail on the head!!

Hmm.. this brunch reception is looking better and better!! Even DFiance likes the idea!! I love when DISers and my future husband agree!!

Again, thanks everyone! You are all great!