Tis is not about DL at all but I need some life help...

[Rapunsel]

Ok 'friends' I need some help...

I am a single mom of 2 (2&5) and have found a new guy to fill my life (first real relationship since my divorce).. He has a son (9) and is a single dad as his wife passed away..
So it is a bix mixing of families and decisions and desires in this relationship. I have questions and don't know of any of my freinds or anyting that has joined with thix mix besides the brady bunch.

The biggest obstacle is that his mother is so involved in his son's life and everything has to be abouthis son that I can't stand it.. I love him dearly and his son as if he was my own.

I just need some support and maybe others might have been in a situation like this. I want the relationship to work the best that I can as this man is wonderful.

thank you.....

 

[JennyW]

I'm not in this situation, or know anyone who is, but if you found a man who completes your life, loves your children, and you love his child, keep at it. Hold on to him! Talk to him about his mother's involvement and possibly talk to the mother as well.

Good luck!

 

[CoolPool]

If this mother-son relationship includes noticeable financial commitments from his mother such that she is financing his lifestyle/rent/car/etc. then RUN, RUN, RUN away from this guy. Otherwise, the rest is probably curable. Just pointing out the obvious. Hope its not like that. Good luck.

 

[lulubelle]

Second marriages, blending families and troublesome inlaws seem to be the norm these days! When I married DH he had two teenaged children and here I was in my twenties with a toddler - it was quite a challenge to say the least, but almost twenty years later, here we are, happy and still married. If he really is the one for you, it will work out, of course it will be a challenge. And maybe his mom hovers and controls so much because she feels so horrible about the death of his wife. Maybe that is her way of compensating? Good luck to you and

 

[abby]

Having lost a husband 11 years ago, I can get part of this. His mother is invovled because since his wife passed she has filled the role of "mother" to his son. Be careful and slow, she will eventually see that you can do a better job of mothering then she can, but treat her with respect for all she has done and swallow your irritation at her involvement. Once she has time to see what you can do, and how you will still have her invovled (ie your not a threat to her) it will go better.

 

[Master Mason]

I have been in a few relationships trying to blend families...

It is harder than if the kids are shared, because the kids will always come first in a second relationship, you have to be willing to step back and let him do what he thinks is best for his son, even if you disagree.

It is probably the hardest thing you'll ever have to do in your life.

 

[Rapunsel]

Thank you everyone for the replies...

my x lives out of state so he shows up every few months for about 3 days..

It is just the involvement of his mom and sister in his son's life...


He works long hours so it is nice that he has them, but they undermine him and he says something and they expect him to blow it off and move on.


I think it is just hard being in your 30's and for finiancial and child care reasosn it is hard to go 'home'. That was what I had to do.

I plan on sticking it out and working through it as I am almost done with school and can get a 'real job'. So that will help we all will be on the same schedule.


I appreciate the replies..

Also he pays his own share of everything. He even help me purchase the Deluxe AP when I had to renew my sons and I for DL so we all could go whenever we wanted..