Tips on getting the husband back on board?

[SugarSweetLee]

How about an evening at Trader Sam's? And if that fails... crying usually works.

Ahhhhh I have lots of friends in Cali who love Trader Sam's, but it wasn't open yet in WDW for our trip back in Jan. I'd love to visit it sometime!

Deluxe dining. A promise of filet mignon nearly everyday will get my husband to go about anywhere! He goes to Disney for the food.

Man, I wish it were that easy! Husband is not much for fine dining and would be happier with a cheeseburger.

I do think it helps to let DH decide what he likes to do. Mine likes to eat and relax while on vacation, so I let him do that. We don't have to be together 24/7.

There are so many awesome things to do at WDW that don't involve parks. Horseback riding, bike riding, swimming, boating, golfing, etc. Almost everything you can do at any resort in the country you can do at Disney. Once my DH discovered the magnitude of WDW, he goes back willingly enough.

Oooh, those are some good ideas to add to the arsenal of convincing reasons why we need to go back soon. Thanks!

 

[mrsjoannh13]

There are lots of things I wasn't aware of at Disney we found out about when planning our upcoming Nov trip. We can't do any of them because of our 2 year old, but my hubby got really excited about them. Might be some things that your DH would find interesting as well. Examples - driving a real race car. Fishing. Keys to the Kingdom tour. Horseback rides. Golf. Dine with an Imagineer (DHS). Dine with an animal expert (Jiko or Sanaa in AK). There are also various private cruises.

 

[JRennie]

I think you're onto something there. I am definitely more commando style touring, but he was definitely wanting to take a more laid back approach and go with the flow. Since our trip together was the first time either of us had been in many many years, we *were* trying to fit in a lot of stuff. More break times, spending time in the pool and resorts, would probably help scale back the intensity.



OH MAN I WISH. I'm afraid that I'm the only gungho Dis-fan out of my close friends. We all grew up in FL together, and while they'd visited fairly frequently as kids as well, they don't have as much of a drive to go back as I do.



Sure! Except he won't pick one! We are lowkey saving for a trip to Europe that will be our true ( years belated) Honeymoon, but that is still a few years off to financially be able to go for the length of time and all the places we want to hit, so we'd like to take about one smaller vacation per year in the meantime. Husband just doesn't get excited about planning things the way I do, and usually leaves that part up to me, sooooooo...



Again, I'd love to talk compromise, except he won't put any cards down to negotiate with!

I figure if he's not willing to come up with some suggestions for vacation destinations then you should just book the Disney trip and he has zero right to complain ! I'm sure he will come instead of staying at home by himself

 

[NightStar]

My husband was the same way. After a lot of begging He reluctantly let me plan a week long trip. Before than we had only been to Disney World twice together, just day trips to MK while passing through Florida. For our week long trip I planned it entirely around things he would love. We stayed at WL got the deluxe dinning plan (he loves his steak), hit up every park, rode Star Wars more times than I can count (he's a big fan), spent an afternoon swimming with sharks and floating the lazy river at Typhon Lagoon, drank around the world and went to Disney Quest. We ended up buying DVC that trip. That was in 2012. We have gone every year since then and we are going back for Christmas! I told him that he could pick the vacation spot this year and HE picked WDW . This is coming from the man who told me going for one day every 3 years was too much! Don't give up hope!

 

[honeybunches]

Definitely plan a more relaxed trip for him. He may come around!! My DH and I took the kids for our first trip together, and it was a disaster. I didn't know what I was doing, and way overbooked us for ADRs and activities. We spent the whole time running around meeting deadlines. He hated it! He reluctantly agreed to return after I spent time on the DIS and learned so much. So, on our second family trip, we did things differently. First, we splurged on flying instead of driving --- SO WORTH IT for us. He wasn't exhausted from driving upon arrival, and we had direct flights that only took 1 hour (and got a deal that only cost $29 on the way down.) Next, I only planned one TS per day. He prefers his favorite foods, even on vacation, so as long as we went somewhere that had a club sandwich, burger, or steak, he was happy. I didn't try to squeeze in Boma or other exotic foods. Finally, we went later in the year when it wasn't quite so hot. I learned that the FL temperatures had a dramatic impact on his attitude. He absolutely loved the trip, and now can't wait to go back again this fall.

 

[scoobygrl79]

I had similar issues although, my husband actually loves Disney, he just felt I was being too restrictive only going THERE with the vacation budget. He said the kids need to explore the world beside Disney So the best compromise we came up with was that I can't go back to back trips until we've accomplished a trip "elsewhere" between visits. I'm telling you what, those "middle" trips are the cheapest fastest things I can throw together just to uphold my end of the deal. Haha...Get out of my way, I'm going to Disney, thank you very much!!

 

[Jon84]

I always try and restrict the budget and do a 'cheap' trip, but it never turns out that way. I get the bug too when we're planning and we end up with upgrades too. I am sure my wife really doesn't mind that at all!

If your DH likes theme parks in general, then making days out to BGT and UOR can break up the intense Disney-ness

 

[BudgieMama]

Hmmmm... it's a tricky one.

My DH was a "once and done" man before our first trip last year. On the flight home, he admitted he's like to go back, but the parks aren't the big attraction to him. He enjoyed them, but he loved the laid back time in the pool, etc. We agreed 2018 as a return date (a 4 year break), but he promised me a weekend at Disneyland Paris this summer for my 30th. Turns out, DLP is pretty pricey, and he agreed it made more sense to save the money and go to WDW next year for 2 weeks instead! LOL!

I'm a bit more sensitive to not switching him off by not talking about it all the time (thank you, DISboards!) and planning lots of down time either together or for him. But mostly, dropping the subject for a couple of months helped: not nagging him about it, but occasionally reminding him of how much fun we had at WDW!

 

[Nancyg56]

My DH is a real Disney Fan but he likes to be a fan from home once in a while. That means he was invested in making sure our little granddaughter Kady, who was a real Disney girl right from the get go, went at least once a year, and twice if we could make it happen. He could not always join us but he made sure I could go or at least join DD and DSIL.

I have found that when I plan a trip that he is joining us, our plans are a little more laid back than they normally are. WE are not commando on a good day, but when he is with us I make sure there is even more down time. He loves to relax by the pool, enjoys meals, plays cards with the family, that kind of thing. Maybe you could plan a relaxed tip for the two of you that include the parks but they are not the focus of the trip. There are so many activities available that if he wants golf, fishing, etc, I would add that and remove something else.

I know people who will not adjust their vacation style for the folks they travel with, and I think that is a shame. I am not suggesting that you are that family, but I am saying that if your husband found the last trip too jammpacked, but really has no suggestions for a different destination, I would make a decision. WDW is the vacation destination, but with a twist. My Burger Guy was in Heaven on our last trip together....we seemed to find every big ol burger available for lunch! The trip before his quest was Hot Dogs! Not as easy as you would think.....but we managed! LOL

I was shocked that one of his favorite evenings was our DTD night. WE went to Raglan Road, and then decided to shop for souvenirs. Holy Shopping! Not a lot of money, really but we closed a store dwon just making custom shirt decisions! LOL!

Honestly, have some fun with this and see where he ends up. I bet you can come up with a solution that brings you to te parks, and also addresses his ambivilence with the parks.

 

[SugarSweetLee]

Good ideas, everyone! I may wait a while and then bring it up with him again to see how he feels in another month or two (hopefully not too long, though, because I need planning time if it's going to happen early next year!)

Another thought we (okay, *I*) have had is trying out Disneyland. I haven't been since I was 3, and he's never been, and especially with all the fancy anniversary stuff it seems like it might be a good time. I just don't know as much about what's on offer over there, though, but I get the impression that it's a lot more limited due to the smaller size, only 2 parks, etc - and it seems like a lot to travel from the east coast to go for what I imagine would be a short[er] trip. Plus, my folks live in FL so, like we did in January, we can squeeze in a visit with them if we go back to WDW.

Decisions, decisions....

 

[Nancyg56]

OMG! Disneyland???? I would plan this in a heartbeat! DLR is the Disney of my youth, and the short visit I made with my sister several years ago was the best ever! DLR is not WDW, not at all. It is a compact, pristine, lovely destination that has DTD, California Adventure and that iconic Magic Kingdom all in one spot. For a man who did nto care for teh bustle that WDW was, this might be the perfect answer.

You do not need to stay at a Disney resort, the parks re dead bang in the middle of many reasonably priced motels, many within walking distance. DCA was a delight! DTD was one of the nicest evenings (We visited my niece who was on the college program, and believe me, by that night my sister would have been curled up in a fetal ball if there was no wine! ) LOL!!!

 

[Jon84]

The problem I find with down time, is that I don't feel like I've got the moneys worth from my tickets! We took my wife's folks in April and really had to slow down the pace (we are usually planned to the minute). While we did plan for this trip, we built in relax time too. Even then, it was still too much for them and we had to re-plan part way through, we used late night EMH for us to go nuts while they chilled out at bars etc.

Good ideas, everyone! I may wait a while and then bring it up with him again to see how he feels in another month or two (hopefully not too long, though, because I need planning time if it's going to happen early next year!)

Another thought we (okay, *I*) have had is trying out Disneyland. I haven't been since I was 3, and he's never been, and especially with all the fancy anniversary stuff it seems like it might be a good time. I just don't know as much about what's on offer over there, though, but I get the impression that it's a lot more limited due to the smaller size, only 2 parks, etc - and it seems like a lot to travel from the east coast to go for what I imagine would be a short[er] trip. Plus, my folks live in FL so, like we did in January, we can squeeze in a visit with them if we go back to WDW.

Decisions, decisions....

DLR is brilliant, you could spend a week there (we did two days, last day of term and first day of spring break, plus a day at Universal Hollywood). The atmosphere is much more relaxed, its easier to to M&Gs, characters just roam the park sometimes. There are alot of locals with APs we found, they are super friendly. One mum and her girl were had an accessibility card (For family of 4 AP holders) with them and invited us to join them in skipping the line for BTM which lovely of them, turned out they did it at all of their rides that day

 

[Nancyg56]

The problem I find with down time, is that I don't feel like I've got the moneys worth from my tickets! We took my wife's folks in April and really had to slow down the pace (we are usually planned to the minute). While we did plan for this trip, we built in relax time too. Even then, it was still too much for them and we had to re-plan part way through, we used late night EMH for us to go nuts while they chilled out at bars etc.



I found that I had to change my mindset. I look at the cost of the trip in total, and then figure out the cost per day per person. We actually exclude the cost per kid in any division, so if there are 5 of us, we just take the cost and dive by 4. Because we usually include the DDP, we know that the cost per day includes the majority of our food, our lodging, and our park tix. Once I know the cost per person, then I can determine if the cost per trip is owth it to us, or if it is more than we can justify.

Many years ago we took the kids on a ten day vacation that included FL area attractions and WDW. I needed a vacation when we returned home and vowed never to do that again! Now our trips are a balance between parks, relaxation, family time and dining. I love that part of te trip! No cooking! LOL!

 

[Jon84]

Lol, no cooking is a massive part of a vacation. I guess because we go for 14 days to make the most of the flights it wouldnt be that bad having down time. It's something my wife wants us to get right next time lol

 

[ChimCher-ee]

I'm a bit more sensitive to not switching him off by not talking about it all the time (thank you, DISboards!) and planning lots of down time either together or for him. But mostly, dropping the subject for a couple of months helped: not nagging him about it, but occasionally reminding him of how much fun we had at WDW!

My husband sees my planning ahead (years ahead) as pressure - - he is definitely not that kind of guy. And he's not a Disney fan, to top it off.

So maybe mention it once now, plan it a lot and get your Disney fix here in the meantime (ditto, PP, thank you Disboards!), and then start talking details closer to the trip...

 

[nat8199]

I am getting my DH to do an adults only trip next spring (after our family trip coming up in Sept) by doing a split Universal trip and planning it during F&G festival with its awesome food booths. We will hopefully be doing two days at US and 2 at Disney. Food and Wine would have worked better, but I didn't want to wait that long!

 

[cjparker0110]

My dad always wanted more time away from WDW before returning. We went every 2 years for a while and then switched to every 3 years for his sake. Maybe you could strike a deal with your hubby to alternate vacation choices. I know how hard the lack of vacation pay is. I have the same problem. Yet, I need to unwind so I am willing to do so. We just plan for it by saving extra money in a vacation fund.

 

[Jewel3k]

Show him a list of all the special events at the food and wine festival. If the trip seems more focused on eating and drinking and relaxing he might be more interested.

 

[dprincessmom]

If he's like me, I do enjoy WDW, I just don't want it crammed down my throat the opening to closing thing...

That said, we've done 54 trips and I still get giddy each trip, but we do the parks in moderation...few hours morning and few hours evenings...a lot of pool resort time...exploring Fort Wilderness...pool picnics... Beer wine feasts at the pool....very few TS restaurants....I just don't like being dragged all over to say, get your money's worth...it's a vacation...relax... If wife wants to shop DTD, be my guest, I'm staying at the pool...she's a big girl and goes herself....

This! Hubby isn't a huge amusement/theme park person so there are several times in between when he is willing to go that we do girls' trips - my sister, the older nieces, my DD etc. I am a big girl and if I want to go to WDW and have the funds available for a WDW trip AND a trip with him later, then off we go to my happy place.

 

[margot31]

I am going for my late dirty 30. I wanted to go to one place but ended up deciding on Disney. He wasn't really pleased he would have gone some place else. I stood up and said its my trip. A few weeks ago he kept making comments that didn't make me happy so I told him I cancelled the trip. Basically told him the reason I chose Disney was cause he was making me feel bad about my first choice and he was doing it again with Disney. I really didn't cancel. He called me 2 hours later after i made a few test about how he is ruining my birthday trip and he said he would stop and told me he was happy about going.