Tips for trip with extended family?

[karajeboo]

We are planning on a trip next Spring with my husbands family. We will be in three separate rooms (DH and I were adamant about that!) - it will be my in-laws, SIL and her husband and two children (4, and 8 months) and myself, DH and DD (7). Anybody have any "survival" tips for travel with a large group like this? Oh, and inlaws are paying for everything. How do we not offend them if we need a little "alone" time?

 

[Bob P]

We often go in a group of nine, and my best tip is: don't try to do everything together!

Go off on your own during the day sometimes, and agree on a place and time to meet (an ADR at a restaurant, back at the pool, etc).

 

[Nancyg56]

Make sure that you do plan some time for yourselves. My family vacationed together twice, and I think some time alone made the trip better for all of us. My sister IL was with us for one trip and she was very upset that DD wanted to spend some time with her DH and DD, but I told her that we were blessed that they wanted us along to share her DGD's first time at Disney.

I would explain to your IL's that everyone has different vacationing styles and that it would be beneficial to recognize this prior to the trip so that everyone can enjoy the vacation. Trying to keep three families on the same page all the time is a recipe for stress.

 

[NU2WDW]

Oh, and inlaws are paying for everything. How do we not offend them if we need a little "alone" time?

It's one thing to travel together when everyone is paying their own way, another when someone is footing the whole bill. My best advice is to start now making it clear what your expectations are (diplomatically, of course) as far as your own time, scheduling, etc. Be aware that there might be some unspoken (or unexpected) sense of "entitlement" on your in-laws' part when it comes to planning and togetherness (will they really be offended that you want alone time?) The sooner everyone is open about what they want from the trip, the better.

 

[redflannel10]

My MIL has taken my husband's family to WDW several times. The first time, she wanted us to spend all day, every day as a group, so we did. It really didn't work out because of the different interests and ages of our families. Now, we eat breakfast together, break up into groups, and all meet for dinner. Everyone is much happier. Also, the girls take my MIL to tea at the Grand Floridian one afternoon (our treat) to thank her for the trip, while the guys go fishing or miniature golfing. During our stay, I pay close attention to comments that my MIL makes concerning merchandise that she likes. We chip in and secretly purchase whatever it is and give it to her at dinner our last night. Enjoy your trip!

 

[Natterjack9]

My suggestion is just like that of some of the other posters. We went in '01 with a large group, and the biggest thing I took from it was to not try to do EVERYTHING together. I think that if we would have gone our separate ways just a little, things wouldn't have been so tense at the end. You can't please everyone, so make sure that everyone has time to do what THEY want to do. Also, just relax and have fun!!

 

[kathyanderson28]

I'm headed to Disney World in 3 weeks with my In-laws, and they are paying for our trip as well. We have a total of 15 people, my mother and father in law, my 2 sisters in laws with their husbands and each have 2 kids, and my husband and my 3 kids.
I am so excited about this trip. Even just the planning has been fun. We got together to talk about things we want to do while we're there (emails work great if you can't physically get together.).
We have made reservations to do a few meals together, and we're staying in the same hotel, but other than that we're each on our own. I'm guessing my husband's parents will either enjoy some alone time without kids, or tag along with one of their kid's families for the day, not sure yet. But one great thing to take advantage of is the "Magical Gatherings" which are special meals or events for groups of 8 or more. We have scheduled the safari Dinner magical gathering, and I've heard great things about it. So I'm looking forward to that. Also the first night we are there, we are all meeting for a late dinner at 1900 Park Fare for a character meal with Cinderella.
Our trip is 4nights on land, 3 nights on sea. So then the cruise portion, we have dinners together each night, but the rest of the time we're on our own.
I don't see why it won't work out great.

A couple years ago, my parents took us all on a family vacation ot Maine. It worked the same way, we tried to meet for dinner, but then we were on our own during the day. My parents would usually tag along with one of their kids for part of the day.

I think when traveling with anygroup, rememeber to be flexible. The way I see it, everything at Disney is fun, so if we don't do one thing we wanted, it's only been replace by something else that is fun. But it would be smart to talk ahead of time, because traveling in groups can be difficult, and you don't want to spend a lot of time waiting on other people. Maybe plan to view parades or shows together, and split off until that set time.

Have a great trip!!

 

[disykat]

I think if they are paying, you really need to let them take the lead on this as much as possible.

I think you should ask them if they will want alone time, ask them if they'd like to "do something special with just dd", etc. Feel it out, get them started thinking about it, and then start making plans after you find out their expectations.

My parents would be the first to suggest to seperate at times, but I can see them being pretty put off if I tried to take over the planning of a trip they were paying for.

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

We've done trips to WDW with extended family several times. I can't stress enough the need to do things apart sometimes! Even if you all have the same likes and dislikes for what you do all the time, it pays to have time away from each other to rejuvenate. I've come home from family trips and felt like I needed a vacation to recover from the vacation I just took.

 

[Nick's Grandma]

We have done the group thing twice and we are doing it again in November. I am paying for my daughters and their families. There will be 12 of us. My main plan is always to do things seperate as well as together. As the grandparents I want to se the grands reaction to certain things, however since they all have certain likes and dislikes we split up at certain times. I also try to give each daughter and their spouse time to go off on their own and my husband and I take the grands for a little while to give them a break then we meet at a specified time and do group things. Since I am not big on fast rides they go off to do that and I take any little ones to do something more calming. Also if they want to see parades or fireworks we try to be together for them. We still have six months and we have a note book going so when they mention something they want to see or do we write it down. We have a section for each park. When it gets closer we will sit down and organize it all. This makes for less wasted time trying to decide in the park what to do next. Good luck, I hope your MIL is understanding, but I know for us my main concern is that there is no tension and everyon has fun. If they decide to go off on their own I will be fine with that, as long as they take lots of pictures.

 

[Wyatt's Grandma]

We went for several family vacations with my parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, everyone's children- 25 of us one year. We all had a great time, but always knew that we could not do everything together. This fall we will be the grandparents taking our DDs, SILs and GC. We are paying for everything, we've been saving for awhile. We do not expect to spend every minute together, but will gather for dinner most nights. Everyone has given their opinions, I hope they have all been honest about where they want to eat. The guys will go golfing one day, the girls will shop together and we'll all go to MNNSHP together. We're all looking forward to it.