Tips for Conversation Hoggers

[Hisgirl]

I have two folks in my life, whom I care for, but find myself not wanting to invite them to group gatherings.

One takes over the whole table conversation, being the one to ask questions, bring up topics, they never stop. This person is a great conversationalist, truly, but never lets others take the lead.

The other one never stops talking. Ever. And brings up the worst topics, every sick person known, every death that has happened. It is the worst downer of a time.

How does one handle these situations to A. either shift the topic and B. find a way to allow others to ask questions, tell stories etc.

 

[tvguy]

Both types of people seem kind of necessary to keep conversation going. I would do nothing.

 

[_19disnA]

People who monopolize the conversations talking non-stop never realize how annoying they are. Nothing you can say/do will change them and trying to get involved with just result in them getting angry at you. Some feel the need to be the center of attention. Personally, I would stop inviting them to your gatherings or you may find you are losing other friends who find them just as annoying and won't attend if they know you have included them.

IF I am attending a party that others are hosting and find someone annoying, I just walk away to get food/drink, use the restroom and find others to talk with somewhere else in the house. It isn't my role in life to go around trying to 'correct' the behavior of other adults. Most likely they are set in their ways and will simply get angry that you are trying to change their behavior.

 

[kymom99]

I have a friend who monopolizes the conversation as well. I’m always relieve when she can’t make it to a gathering. My best way to deal with it is to sit as far away from her as I can and have quiet conversations with those sitting closest to me.
If her topics were interesting I would let her talk and I would listen. But she always goes to the dark side and she’s a conspiracy theorist. It’s tiring.

 

[Pooh2]

Yawn six times about 2 minutes apart.
Look at your watch every minute or two.
They will pause the conversation to ask if you are tired and need to go somewhere.
Jump in with whatever topic you would like to steer the conversation too!

 

[The Mayor]

I’m a really blunt and straight forward person so I’d either stop inviting them and if they asked why, tell them or just say why don’t we see if anyone else has something to say/discuss.

 

[Karin1984]

Why wouldn't you talk to them about it? It could be something they are not aware of.
If they are friends and you can bring it with a little bit of discretion, it can turn out alright.

 

[NotUrsula]

Why wouldn't you talk to them about it? It could be something they are not aware of.
If they are friends and you can bring it with a little bit of discretion, it can turn out alright.

This. Most people who do it never realize it, and a lot of people (including me) do it because they are nervous talkers. The kindest thing you can do is gently bring it up when you're alone, and offer to use some kind of silent signal as a clue that they are doing it again.

DH has been giving me signals forever; I'm so much more comfortable in conversational groups when I know he's there to keep me from becoming a PITA. The downside is that without him there, I've grown leery of speaking at all in informal group settings.

 

[team bradfield]

this helps me cope