Thumb sucking at preschool

[Breakfast@Tiffany's]

Oh I feel your pain! My dd, almost 4, is and has always been a thumb sucker. When she started preschool this year, the teacher commented directly to me about it, as dd was having trouble completing art projects with one hand. My response to the teacher was that getting used to school was stressful for dd and I wasn't about to add to her stress by banning the thumb sucking.

Now that she's been at school for a few months, I think the thumb sucking can be addressed, and this board has given me some good ideas, like explaining private/public behavior, limiting it to bedtime and having a hand signal to remind them to stop. Incidentally, dd was recently helping me with dinner by peeling garlic. She stopped sucking her thumb for a while because it tasted awful, hmmmm...

 

[Schmeck]

Don't even go there about tooth decay
She cleans her teeth, and uses a mouth wash immediately after her bottle - both morning and night

That's great! My kids used to go to bed at night with a bottle, but since we have genetic tooth enamel problems, our pediatrician told us that we needed to switch to bottles of water. I guess it's turning into a serious dental problem - kids are rotting out their teeth by falling asleep with mouths of milk (which does have sugar in it) or even worse, juice!

 

[goofyforlife]

My problem is with her new preschool teacher who is constantly telling her to "save the thumb for home".

I'd tell the teacher to save the lecture for her own children. If a thumb comforts your daughter...so be it...

I thought my DD would never stop sucking her thunb and would need braces, etc.... Well we saw an orthodontist last year (just a consult visit) and they said her teeth are near perfect alignment. SHe was 11 and had all of her permanent teeth in. So no harm done......

 

[NikiM20]

My DD (6) has been a thumbsucker since before she was born... She also has her bank (aka blankie) that she carries around with her. She is a happy healthy 2nd Grader with no problems. We do cheerleading, gymnastics, etc etc. I had someone tell me my child had too many addictions, who cares what others think...YOU are her parent , not the teacher or other Idi ots who try to tell you what to do. If it doesnt bother you so be it. If DD wants to suck her thumb until shes 40 I say go for it I am also a 4 yr old preschool teacher and yours needs a serious dose of mad mommy...I would talk to the director.

 

[momxx5]

As a child I sucked my thumb until I was well past the age of 15. I never needed to wear braces and I am a well adjusted human being.

I have 5 kids and 3 of them suck their thumbs. It does not bother me. I will never tell them that they cannot do it.

The older ones 7 & 9 only do it when they are tired and at bed time. Even now they are doing that less and less.
My 3 yr old sucks her thumb more.

My thoughts....

Life is tough enough...if your thumb provides some comfort then go ahead and suck your thumb!


Sorry you are having issues with the teacher. I would speak to the director and come up with a solution that works for everyone, especially your child.

 

[shaylahc]

Well I'll be the odd one out here and say that I think if the school has its own set of rules, they should be followed. My 4 y.o. goes to preschool and she knows she has to follow the rules at school whether she likes them or not. For example, my DD is an EXTREMELY slow eater. She can seriously spend 2 hours lingering over a meal. She has always been this way. But at school, the kids have 20 minutes to eat snack and then mealtime is over. This means DD often doesn't get to finish her snack. Now, how would it look if I told DD she was allowed to follow her "home" rules and spend as much time as she wants eating her snack, while everyone else has to follow the school rules? I teach my kids to respect the rules of whomever is in charge. And IMHO if the teacher says no thumbsucking allowed then I think that is her right. I think it's much more reasonable to enforce that rule with a 4 year old than the PPs who mentioned their 1 year olds weren't allowed to take a paci at day care....

My oldest was a die hard thumbsucker so I know how it goes. We finally got her to stop sucking hers at 4. But I would have been perfectly ok with anything that got her to stop sucking her thumb, even if it was negative peer pressure. A 4 year old doesn't NEED to suck their thumb---it's a habit. A 1 year old NEEDS to suck, a 4 year old does not. And I think it's ok for the teacher to say that thumbsucking is not allowed in the classroom.

As for the person whose 7 year old takes a baby bottle....flame away, but I don't understand why a parent would encourage that. I know someone whose mom let her take a baby bottle until she was 6 and she has HORRIBLE problems with her teeth. Most of them are root canaled or extracted and she is awaiting dental implants. Obviously a 7 year old doesn't NEED to suck on a baby bottle. I don't understand why anyone would encourage that, especially in light of the big orthdontic and dental bills that will pop up later on down the road. I can't imagine her peers would find it socially acceptable either. There does get to be a point where parents need to put their foot down and say NO. It will come in handy later on down the road when they are dealing with bigger issues like drugs and teen sex.

JMHO.

 

[alisonbestford]

As the parent who lets DD still have a bottle no flames here
Every child is different and, at 4 they are still 'babies' bless them
Tooth care is meticulous in her case and she's happy, confident and content.
As for peers, they're not allowed to know - biggest deterant I know of peer pressure IMHO though I would still find it inexcusable for another adult, in whatever role, to tell my 4 year old what they can and can't do.
As another poster said, on this thread, life is difficult enough as it is without making it more so.
As parents we'll almost always do something that another parent doesn't agree with
I must be doing something right as I've never had to deal with either drug issues, nor teen sex, and my other 2 kids are 22 and 18

 

[justhat]

As the parent who lets DD still have a bottle no flames here
Every child is different and, at 4 they are still 'babies' bless them
Tooth care is meticulous in her case and she's happy, confident and content.
As for peers, they're not allowed to know - biggest deterant I know of peer pressure IMHO though I would still find it inexcusable for another adult, in whatever role, to tell my 4 year old what they can and can't do.
As another poster said, on this thread, life is difficult enough as it is without making it more so.
As parents we'll almost always do something that another parent doesn't agree with
I must be doing something right as I've never had to deal with either drug issues, nor teen sex, and my other 2 kids are 22 and 18

I don't totally agree with this. If you don't want another adult telling your child what to do then I don't think you should send them to school or daycare, wherever other adults are in charge. By sending your child to preschool you are leaving them in charge of another adult, and that person may have different rules, teaching methods, styles, etc. than you. If you plan to send your kid to school then you have to be willing to accept the rules of the school/class. If one of them is no thumb-sucking then you can choose to abide by that or take your kid out of the class. Now, if it's just the teacher singling out 1 kid for all their behavior quirks, that's a different story, but I'm guessing in this case it's the class rule. If it were me telling your kid to stop sucking her thumb, or stop drinking a bottle, you're totally right, I have no business saying that. But if the child's teacher says it in her class (not just seeing her in the store or something) then I think she's totally justified. You can teach your daughter that it is a class rule that has to be followed but she's free to do it at home. After all, I don't think anything bad will come from having to listen to storytime without sucking her thumb.

My 1st grade teacher had a no nose-picking rule (yes, weird, I know, but I guess it's pretty common among 6yo). One little boy was always picking his nose and she'd say (yes, in front of the class) "stop picking on albert". Yes, other kids would say that if they saw him doing it, but he did in fact stop cause I don't remember her saying it the whole year. Peer pressure? Yeah, probably, but I don't think it hurt him in the long run and it helped him break a bad habit (and I still know the kid and he's totally normal, so no bad effects from it).

 

[alisonbestford]

I don't totally agree with this. If you don't want another adult telling your child what to do then I don't think you should send them to school or daycare, wherever other adults are in charge. QUOTE]

Ah well, we all have different view points - and that's exactly the way it should be
DD loves school and, luckily, we've never had any issues that needed resolving, but I certainly wouldn't be best pleased if her teacher didn't consult me first if there were

 

[justhat]

That's just it though, I don't think the teacher sees this as an issue that needs resolving. It's her rule and she simply enforces it in the class like she does any other rule (at least that's my take on it). By sending your child to school you're taking on the rules of their school/class and if one of them is no thumb sucking then IMO it should be abided by. What you do at home is entirely different, and if the teacher were saying the child couldn't suck their thumb at home then I think it would be very wrong. But just like the child has to abide by other rules in the class (for example, eating snack at a certain time, no running, etc.), this one shouldn't be any different. If you tell the kid she can suck her thumb regardless of what the teacher says, then what's stopping other moms from saying "my kid will have a pacifier/bottle/blankie/etc. in class too" if those things aren't allowed either? I think it would just get totally out of hand and the teacher (or school) has to draw the line somewhere.

 

[alisonbestford]

LOL, I'm giving up on this one
Off to get ready for DD's Halloween party

 

[Ask"WhyNot?"]

I haven't read all the posts so I may very well be missing information, if so, I apologize. I also can't help you with how to get your little one to stop sucking her thumb--none of my 3 sucked their thumbs and gave up the pacifer on their own before a year. BUT...

I have served on the school boards of our old (accrediated) preschool. And I can tell you with absolute authority you have a problem with that preschool teacher. That is not a good thing. A child should be reprimanded in private, and in the case of the field trip, not by the teacher. If there is a problem (especially policy wise), a conference should have been set up by the teacher with you--no child present--where things could be discussed (problem, why a problem, possible solutions).

You now need to do a couple of things. Set up a conference with the preschool teacher. If that doesn't solve the problem (and it sounds as though it might not), another conference with the director of the preschool (where the teacher may or may not be present), and if that doesn't do the trick, switch preschools. You may just want to switch preschools immediately anyhow. At the very least, I'd start looking into other preschools so if the problem can not be resolved or gets worse, you already know what your back-up plan is.

I think I agree with you. It's not the thumb sucking or not that is the problem, it is the way it is being handled by the teacher. NAEYC Accrediated schools (the only ones I sent my kids to, not that there aren't good schools out there not accrediated--these just meet higher standards & require more intense training of teachers) don't agree with the way this preschool teacher is handling things--it's not age appropriate. And any school should bring the parent in on a problem so it may be addressed at home as well as school (the only way to overcome a problem).

 

[alisonbestford]

I think I agree with you. It's not the thumb sucking or not that is the problem, it is the way it is being handled by the teacher. NAEYC Accrediated schools (the only ones I sent my kids to, not that there aren't good schools out there not accrediated--these just meet higher standards & require more intense training of teachers) don't agree with the way this preschool teacher is handling things--it's not age appropriate. And any school should bring the parent in on a problem so it may be addressed at home as well as school (the only way to overcome a problem).