Thoughts on TTC#2...would love imput.

[camdensmom]

DH and I have one son. He is a little over two and is a delight. We consider ourselves to be very lucky to have such a healthy, bright, funny, wonderful child.

I really feel like he needs a sibling and I really want more children. However, now that the time has come to start thinking about #2 I am finding myself to be very scared.

I know how much work having 1 child is and he is by all standards, "easy." I am so nervous about having a child with health issues or special needs. I'm worried about the effect that would have on my son. I am also petrified of doctors. I got through my pregnancy by being on a 'need to know basis.' After giving birth and joining new mommy groups I found myself hearing horror stories about pregnancy/delivery issues.

I guess it'll come down to a leap of faith and I am 95% sure we will go for it. I suppose I'm just wondering if this is normal or if the fact that I have reservations means something.

I would appreciate any thoughts anyone wants to share. TIA

 

[kpm76]

You sound exactly like me!! I worried from the time I found out I was pregnant until the time I delivered. We didn't do any of the optional blood tests because I was so nervous I would freak out if there was an indication that something might be wrong. I figured the not knowing was better...go figure. The only thing we did was a Level 2 ultrasound which thankfully went very well.

We are blessed with a healthy DD. I worry about having another one because I can't see how I could possibly be fortunate enough to have another one as "perfect" as DD. It's scary. However, I think when the time comes for us to consider #2 will will go for it and hope and pray for the best.

Not sure if that's much help but just wanted you to know you're not alone in your worries

 

[WDWorBUST]

I can totally relate to your concerns. We have a DD that is almost 4 and I have a huge list of why I wany another one -but then I have another list of why nots. Of course the main reason I want one is just the "joy" of a child. My DD is perfect - I don't know how we can have another one that is as perfect. But DD wants a brother or sister (NOT a reason to have a child in my opinon) but I want her to have a brother or sister too which is a better reason. DH has the money concerns....we currently live in an 800 square foot - 2B1B house - that we have already outgrown. And we're working to pay off debt before we build a new house. But I have the "age factor" working against me - and I know that women are having children later and later, but for me I don't WANT to be over 35 and having a baby. It's like I told DH just yesterday or the day before - I'm not CRAZY - I know that another baby is going to be a LOT more work and my sanity is currently questionable with everything (housework, FT job, etc) with just one. But the joy will outweigh any and all of that. So if you find an easy way to make that decision I would love for you to fill me in on it

 

[disney_family_1247]

I remember having some of those thoughts and feelings when we were getting ready to try for #2. I was sooooo sure that lightning couldn't strike twice! We already had one perfect child, and I worried that trying for another was tempting fate. The funny thing is that my first was sick at birth and in the NICU for a week. My second was 100% healthy from day one .

Of course, I had all sorts of medical problems with #2. That really freaked me out and although we'd always planned on having 3, it took me 2 1/2 years to even consider going through it again. I did, though, and we have a beautiful third child .

Consider it this way: when you look at your son, don't you think he's worth any amount of stress and worry? You'll think of your next child the same way!

 

[tessieg]

Hi,
If I were you I would go ahead and go for it! You never know what will happen. We conceived dd#1 the first month we tried and had an easy pregnancy and a long, rough birth but that was the only glitch! She was a great baby and a delightful child.
When she was two we started trying again. Fully expecting an easy conception, and that just wasn't the case. I was only 26 when we started ttc #2. It is a long, long story but I ended up having 5 miscarriages before we FINALLY had our second dd right before my 30th birthday.
I don't share this to scare anyone but after conceiving #1 so very easily I never in a million years would have expected such heartache in trying to have another child. I think most people take for granted that they can have a repeat of their first experience, just as we took that for granted. So I think all the other issues you are contemplating will be resolved; the most important thing is to go ahead and have the pregnancy--one of my greatest joys is watching my now three dd's interact with each other and knowing they will always have each other.
Good luck!
Tessie

 

[tnkr_bell]

We always knew we wanted at least two kids, that was a no brainer for us. The problem we had was just getting the first one. Long story hear also. Anyway we eventually got ds and dd at almost 2 years apart and I so wanted a third. Well we tried for a third and it took us like 6mos to get pg and then we mc'd. I knew I wanted to try again so about 3mos after the mc we started trying again month after month with no luck. I was finally getting to the point where both my older two were out of diapers and starting to get a little more independence and I started really doubting if I still wanted that third. I did, but the heartache each month was getting to be too much.

Well about a year after the mc I got pg and we now have another beautiful dd who is 8mos old. My whole pg I kept saying to myself "What was I thinking?" LOL We'll she's here now and I know what I was thinking. Her smile and laugh bring so much joy to my heart and she is really the best baby ever. She started sleeping through the night at 2mos and hasn't stopped.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is whether your baby is easy or hard; your first or your fifth or sixth, you will have so much love for him or her. Your heart will only grow bigger with each new life you bring into this world.

Also, right after we had dd #1 I worried about what we did to her brother. He was so used to it being just him and know here was this screaming little thing that took up all his Mommys time. I just have to say that having watched them grow up together the past few years and they play together and take care of each other I realize that there is no greater gift I can give my kids than a sibling. So at least when I'm long gone from this earth they will still have family that loves and cares for them.

 

[DisneyMagicMommy]

Don't worry about being nervous. I think many people do it's just they don't talk about it. I remember always saying I wanted 4 kids (crazy right!). I have 3 at the moment. The 1st took almost a year to conceive...the 2nd 3 months. Since it took so long to conceive those 2 I decided to start trying to conceive #3 a bit earlier than originally planned..thinking it would take a few months...WRONG!!! Conceived the first month trying that time. Now we are onto number 4. We have been trying for almost a year now..and somedays...when the other 3 boys are not being their best I think "Why do I want another one"...but then there are the little moments of joy...and all the wonderful times that remind why I do want another one. Being a woman who has had 3 extremely easy pregnancy's a labors (the first was 45min. The second was 11 min. The 3rd was 5 min.) no joking there...i get nervous thinking that there is no way I could luck out again with such quick labors (either that or i'll deliver at home...eeek). Anyways...back to the point. Most of us at some time or another get nervous...but I just think about the joy of babies...holding them, loving them, and watching them grow...and the fear just kind of dissapears...at least for the moment.

 

[DISNEYFOS]

I think its completely normal to have doubts. We were in your same place last year. A perfect 3 year old, who was a very easy baby. We wanted her to have a sibling..but were afraid of all the things you mentioned. Starting over again. Having a difficult baby, possible medical problems ((advanced maternal age (just love that terminology)).

We went for it. We opted for the testing because I'm a need to know person and I was older. more info the better. We had some scares..blood tests showed some possible problems. We had an amnio that thankfully came back fine. My delivery wasn't as easy as the first one either..basically the epidural wasn't put in correctly and they had to do it again...I pretty much labored naturally until I was fully dialated and they got it right....Not what I expected..but its over now.

And she did have colic from 2 weeks to 11 weeks. Never experienced that with my first DD..It was rough on everyone...but now its over and she's a very happy baby. She's getting more interactive now and just the other day my DD was pretending to read books to her and she was laughing and huge smiles on her face as she was watching her big sister. It was beautiful.

Even with the Colic, I'd say #2 isn't that much harder..You know somewhat what to expect, you have more confidence as a mother that you can handle most things that come your way..the learning curve isn't as steep.

It may not be exactly as perfect as you envision it..but compared to the big picture.. a new addition to our family and a sibling for DD..these short moments in time are nothing.

 

[mrsltg]

It's hard and it doesn't get easier - there, I said it! We waited and wondered when the best time to try for number 2 would be. We decided shortly after dd turned 3. Well, the worst happened. Our son was stillborn. With my dd I worried about everything, with ds I worried about nothing - though I always had a sense of foreboding - and I lost him. My point is, nothing can prepare you. Nothing. Go with your heart on this matter, and not your head. I am now expecting my fourth baby and though I know just about everything that can go wrong, I am confident. All you can do is hope for the best. And don't let fear make a decision this important for you.

Good luck!