Thoughts on honeymoon registries?

[nkereina]

Looking for opinions on a honeymoon registry. They seem to be controversial, so curious to know if more people are cool with them or if you find them tacky or offensive.

We're considering booking our honeymoon with our local AAA office. If we choose, they will provide us with little cards to include with my shower invitation that essentially offers my guests the option to visit or call AAA and make a financial contribution to our honeymoon. AAA would provide our guest with a pre-made slip that details their contribution so they can stick that in the greeting card they will give at my shower to symbolize their gift. The contribution they make would go towards our final payment, and we'd only then be responsible for the balance (if any) after the wedding. This approach differs from other honeymoon registries out there in that there is no option to purchase excursions or dinners, etc and AAA does not take a cut of the contribution our guest is making.

As background, my fiance and I are in our late 20s and have been together for 9 years. We will have been engaged for 5 years by the time we get married. We've lived together for 8 years and purchased a house together 2 years ago. We have everything we need from a home goods perspective, so there is nothing we would register for at a store like Bed Bath & Beyond or Macy's. This honeymoon registry would be the only "registry" we are offering, and I think all of our guests are aware of our love for travel.

What would be your take if you got a card for a honeymoon registry in your invitation? Be honest! We haven't decided one way or the other what to do.

 

[MSLRAC]

Looking for opinions on a honeymoon registry. They seem to be controversial, so curious to know if more people are cool with them or if you find them tacky or offensive.

We're considering booking our honeymoon with our local AAA office. If we choose, they will provide us with little cards to include with our invitations that essentially offer our guests (at my bridal shower or at the wedding) the option to visit or call AAA and make a financial contribution to our honeymoon. AAA would provide our guest with a pre-made slip that details their contribution so they can stick that in the greeting card they will give us at the wedding or at my shower to symbolize their gift. The contribution they make would go towards our final payment, and we'd only then be responsible for the balance (if any) after the wedding. This approach differs from other honeymoon registries out there in that there is no option to purchase excursions or dinners, etc and AAA does not take a cut of the contribution our guest is making.

As background, my fiance and I are in our late 20s and have been together for 9 years. We will have been engaged for 5 years by the time we get married. We've lived together for 8 years and purchased a house together 2 years ago. We have everything we need from a home goods perspective, so there is nothing we would register for at a store like Bed Bath & Beyond or Macy's. This honeymoon registry would be the only "registry" we are offering, and I think all of our guests are aware of our love for travel.

What would be your take if you got a card for a honeymoon registry in your invitation? Be honest! We haven't decided one way or the other what to do.

Given what I put in bold, I see no problem with it.

 

[allegoricduck]

Tacky. You never ask for money, which this seems to be doing.

And including registry information with the invitation is extremely tacky.

 

[Luvchefmic]

Tacky. You never ask for money, which this seems to be doing.

And including registry information with the invitation is extremely tacky.

Have to say I agree with this. I understand OP given your circumstances you have everything you need, but still feel this would be very off putting if I received this invitation.

 

[kmb584]

Given that there won't be a secondary registry I don't see it as tacky. In fact, I think it's a good idea seeing as you've already purchased and furnished your home.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Not a fan

 

[mumloveseeyore]

may be totally different ettiquette as i'm from the uk but a friend in similar circumstances said something along the lines of we do not require gifts, we will be delighted by your presence but if anyone does wish to contribute we would appreciare gift cards to a travel agent they had booked with

 

[cfriend416]

While this is not something I would do, seeing as you have already purchased and furnished your home and are not doing another registry, I do not think a honeymoon registry is tacky. However, it is tacky (IMO) to include gift requests of any kind in a wedding invitation (and that goes for traditional registries as well). If this is how you would like to do your registry, find another way to get the info out to people. Honestly, if I were you, I would ask close friends and family to just spread the word that you are not doing a registry but would love contributions to your honeymoon. That way, people will be more likely to just give $, which you can then put towards the trip yourself.

 

[Luvchefmic]

While this is not something I would do, seeing as you have already purchased and furnished your home and are not doing another registry, I do not think a honeymoon registry is tacky. However, it is tacky (IMO) to include gift requests of any kind in a wedding invitation (and that goes for traditional registries as well). If this is how you would like to do your registry, find another way to get the info out to people. Honestly, if I were you, I would ask close friends and family to just spread the word that you are not doing a registry but would love contributions to your honeymoon. That way, people will be more likely to just give $, which you can then put towards the trip yourself.

This is the way I would go. Like I said originally if I got that information in with the invitation it would be off putting. I find this much more acceptable.

 

[Kogo Shuko]

I don't see this as tacky, especially considering you specifically do not want other gifts.

I would suspect all of your guests would know your situation, and don't see this as any problem.

I see it as a creative way of still getting your gifts, which is expected at a wedding, without getting things you don't need.

As a note, I'm in my late 20s as well, so perhaps it's an age thing?

 

[LBIJim]

I wouldn't include mention of the registry in the invitation. But I'd say it's fine to let a few family members and friends know about it, so that they could spread the word in case any guests inquire about a registry.

 

[mnrose]

Also not a fan. I hate when I'm pressured, subtly or not, to give a certain kind of gift.

Typically, my gift to a wedding couple of the age you describe is cash, and they can spend it however they want. But, to tell me to pay for your honeymoon? Uh, no. Tacky.

 

[EMom]

Tacky beyond belief and no better than a Go Fund Me site hitting up people to pay for your teen to go on "the trip of a lifetime" so you don't have to part with your own cash. On some level, you KNOW it is tacky or you wouldn't have asked, IMHO. I think what you are really wondering is, have standards slipped so much that people will just shrug and go along with it? Well, some will and some won't, but it will still be tacky.

It is YOUR honeymoon. YOU pay for it. If people choose to give you money as a wedding gift (unsolicited) then you can use that to help with the honeymoon. But you don't ask people to pay for something that you should pay for. It doesn't matter that you have lived together for years and have all the household stuff you need. That was your choice.

It costs almost nothing to go to a JP and get married. People choose weddings and honeymoons, which cost money. Their guests should not be responsible for those choices. They should not have hints dropped that cash gifts are best. Again, if someone chooses, unsolicited, to give you money, then do a happy dance. But to do otherwise is tacky, no matter how many people do it these days.

 

[Disneychick75]

Tacky
I don't like registry cards in an invitation. Tell close family and friends. If people ask, they can tell them about the honeymoon registry. Do you have a wedding website? Post your registry there.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Never heard of it.

 

[cluvsdisney]

Personally, I think registries should be for gifts not money. I wouldn't mind if the Honeymoon Registry was for extras on the honeymoon like a tour, room service breakfast, couple's massage, etc. But to chip in for the hotel, airfare, car rental costs leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Also, registry information should only be provided in a shower invitation or by word of mouth, not a wedding invite.

 

[JanaDee]

Nope. I'm not a fan of people telling me to pay for their honeymoon that they (supposedly) can't afford but MUST travel there.

You want to go there, you pay for it.

Registries are for gifts, not money.

 

[JanaDee]

Tacky beyond belief and no better than a Go Fund Me site hitting up people to pay for your teen to go on "the trip of a lifetime" so you don't have to part with your own cash. On some level, you KNOW it is tacky or you wouldn't have asked, IMHO. I think what you are really wondering is, have standards slipped so much that people will just shrug and go along with it? Well, some will and some won't, but it will still be tacky.

It is YOUR honeymoon. YOU pay for it. If people choose to give you money as a wedding gift (unsolicited) then you can use that to help with the honeymoon. But you don't ask people to pay for something that you should pay for. It doesn't matter that you have lived together for years and have all the household stuff you need. That was your choice.

It costs almost nothing to go to a JP and get married. People choose weddings and honeymoons, which cost money. Their guests should not be responsible for those choices. They should not have hints dropped that cash gifts are best. Again, if someone chooses, unsolicited, to give you money, then do a happy dance. But to do otherwise is tacky, no matter how many people do it these days.

I should have read ahead and just this post.

 

[nkereina]

OP here. Thanks for all the responses!

Just to clarify some things:

*The card would ONLY go into my bridal shower invitation (being distributed by my mom) and it would explain that in lieu of a traditional gift registry, we are doing this - and of course, it's totally optional. IMO, people prefer to have registries or ideas for gifts because they either have no idea what to buy (and like me, don't want to get you something useless) or they don't wish to give cash in a card. This gives people an option still.

*We can 100% afford the honeymoon on our own, so it's not a matter of not being able to afford it.

I personally don't find it tacky, but the mixed reviews on here confirm my suspicions that it's very controversial, which is the sole reason I'm asking. I hear of them more and more lately, so I was inquiring if it's become more widely accepted. But evidently not, so I am re-considering.

I also think it is a generational thing, and my generation tends to be more tolerant of it - young professionals, established in life and home, getting married a bit later in life (I'll be 31 when we tie the knot). My generation also sees different kinds of weddings and don't necessarily follow the traditions and customs of yesteryear. In fact, we are getting married in a ski village with just our parents, and having a BBQ party at a picnic shelter in a park as our reception. Very non-traditional wedding.

I do appreciate all the responses and don't mean to sound defensive, but I don't need my finances and morals questioned on the subject. Just want to know what would run through your mind if you got a bridal shower invitation with this included as a gift option as opposed to the standard registry.

Thanks all!

 

[JanaDee]

OP here. Thanks for all the responses!

Just to clarify some things:

*The registry card would ONLY go into my bridal shower invitation (being distributed by my mom) and it would explain that in lieu of a traditional gift registry, we are doing this kind of registry - and of course, it's totally optional.

*We can 100% afford the honeymoon on our own, so it's not a matter of not being able to afford it. This would obviously be better used by us (the essence of a gift, right?) than some towels and a dish set that we'd ultimately return.

I personally don't find it tacky, but the mixed reviews on here confirm my suspicions that it's very controversial, which is the sole reason I'm asking. I hear of them more and more lately, so I was inquiring if it's become more widely accepted. But evidently not, so I am re-considering.

I also think it is a generational thing, and my generation tends to be more tolerant of it - young professionals, established in life and home, getting married a bit later in life (I'll be 31 when we tie the knot). My generation also sees different kinds of weddings and don't necessarily follow the traditions and customs of yesteryear. In fact, we are getting married in a ski village with just our parents, and having a BBQ party at a picnic shelter in a park as our reception. Very non-traditional wedding.

I do appreciate all the responses and don't mean to sound defensive, but I don't need my finances and morals questioned on the subject. Just want to know what would run through your mind if you got a bridal shower invitation with this included as a gift option as opposed to the standard registry.

Thanks all!

Oh boy. You're inviting people to your shower that will be excluded from the wedding?