Thoughts on "adoption gifts"?

[maslex]

A little background....

SIL was married back in 1992, maybe? They had a son in 1995. They ended in divorce with joint custody when son was about 4. Father visited a handful of times but hasn't even bothered with his son for the past 10+ years. No visits, no child support, no phone calls, no birthday/Christmas cards....you get the idea. Fast foward a bit.....SIL was set up on a blind date and things work out well. They date for a couple years and have now been married for the past 7 years.

Well, about a month ago SIL goes to court to get the biological father's parental rights terminated. Judge awards it. And now her current husband is going to legally adopt her son (he's now 15). Son is all for it.

So after my long winded explanation of things.....the adoption is this coming Wednesday in which they want us all there for and then they're having everyone meet at a restaurant for a celebration afterwards (everyone is paying for their own meal). My question is this.....do you get a gift for an adoption? And if so, is the gift for the son or for the parents or both? LOL I've never been in this situation before (adoption) or know anyone that has, so I'm kind of at a loss right now.

Any thoughts?

 

[PollyannaMom]

If it were a stepmother adopting a daughter, I'd get them those necklaces that are each half a heart and they fit together. But I have no idea what to do for guys - nice keychains that say "Dad" and "Son"?

 

[nmmom95]

What about a picture frame, engraved with "The Smith Family" and the adoption date?

 

[snarlingcoyote]

I would think a gift is not expected, but would be appreciated.

I like the picture frame idea, myself. But are there any hobbies or interests that father and and son have in common? One of my DH's friends has a son he adopted in a situation like yours and they love to go hunting, so I'd probably get them two copies of something huntery that I know they'd both like (Like LSU cammo baseball caps) with a note that this was for their "father son" time.

 

[maslex]

I like the photo frame idea. Might go check on prices of that today. The only thing I can think of that they have in common in the Boston Red Sox.

 

[clh2]

What an exciting time for that family!

I love the picture frame idea - and with the Christmas holidays, should be very easy to find. Budget wise - are you able to swing a GC for a family portrait as well?

 

[MichelleVW]

I was in the same situation and my ex husband adopted my daughter who was 6 at the time. We just quietly went to court and that was that. No fan fare, no gifts, never even crossed my mind.

 

[browneyes106]

My mom was invited to an adoption ceremony and party this past summer. She just went to the party. Her godson and his wife adopted a child that they had been fostering. The adoption was finalized two weeks before the little's boy 4th birthday so they had the party as an early birthday party/adoption party. I can't remember what my mom gave them though.

 

[m&amom]

My husband adopted my daughter this year and we threw a huge party for her. A few people did bring gifts including some cash, a picture frame and a ring. Her favorite though was things with her new last name on them she got note cards and a few cards. I am going to suggest that if he plays sports you get him a jersey of some kind with his last name on it. Or since he is fifteen and soon to drive maybe a new nice wallet or money clip with his new initals on it.

 

[shortbun]

I have a 15yo son. We are a family throug adoption; he was an infant. I think family support and love is the best gift you can give. A heartfelt congrats, a hug and a handshake to the two who are official would be great. Being there is a great show of love and support.

 

[maslex]

My husband adopted my daughter this year and we threw a huge party for her. A few people did bring gifts including some cash, a picture frame and a ring. Her favorite though was things with her new last name on them she got note cards and a few cards. I am going to suggest that if he plays sports you get him a jersey of some kind with his last name on it. Or since he is fifteen and soon to drive maybe a new nice wallet or money clip with his new initals on it.

Actually this is a gift that the parents are getting him for Christmas. A Red Sox jersey with his new last name on the back.

 

[browneyes106]

My husband adopted my daughter this year and we threw a huge party for her. A few people did bring gifts including some cash, a picture frame and a ring. Her favorite though was things with her new last name on them she got note cards and a few cards. I am going to suggest that if he plays sports you get him a jersey of some kind with his last name on it. Or since he is fifteen and soon to drive maybe a new nice wallet or money clip with his new initals on it.

Those are some good suggestions for gifts. Another suggestion I have is maybe have a stick or small poster made up of the father, mother and son as stick figures with their names. I have seen stuff like this before and it is cute.

 

[RUDisney]

Some of the most meaningful things, to us, when we adopted our kids were the religious items they got. They got religious medals, rosaries and prayer cards with they pope on them. But, our family members are into that sort of thing.

If you/they are not into that type of thing, you can get him a portfolio with his new name or initials on it.

I'd definitely go for something to show that his name has changed. It could even be a monogrammed shirt if he has to wear dress shirts to school or whatever. The local sporting good stores should be able to iron his name onto the back of a school t-shirt for you, too.

Too bad calling cards aren't in vogue for kids. He could have passed them out to his friends to announce the big change in his life.

Congratulations to him and his family!

ETA: Speaking of calling cards, you can get him informal cards with his full name on them. My kids both have them and use them for thank you cards or any other type of correspondence they need to send.

 

[badblackpug]

My kids are all adopted. Two as infants 2 a little older. I think that if the child is older it is a good idea to celebrate, to let them know how happy you are that they are "officially" family. Especially if the child has been ignored or neglected by his/her bio parent(s).

BTW... how about a gift certificate for a a family portrait?

 

[flamingglobessigmund]

When my friend finally got to adopt her foster son by the time he was 13, I got him a bible with his new name engraved on it. She said it really touched him to see his name. I guess it made the whole event more real for him. I think anything with his new name monogrammed or engraved will be meaningful.