Thought

[Living42Day]

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[Frwinkley]

We do a Secret Santa and it isn't mandatory. Yours sounds like you don't have much of a choice.

I never liked them.

 

[ShirikiUtundu]

Just decline to participate. I would not participate in this, regardless of my salary.

 

[Minnesota!]

We did this every year up til Covid and I hated it.

I told them (before I knew Covid was coming) that 2019 would be my last year doing it, since boss who created it was retiring in 2020 and I refused to be miserable for anyone but her...

 

[Smugpugmug]

I'm in a similar position as you. I'm the newest hire to the company and I make slightly less than everyone else. My job isn't doing a gift exchange this year but if they did I would decline to participate. Especially since I have never met any of my coworkers in person (I work from home and so does everyone else due to Covid).

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Anytime these came up I opted out of them.

I did however opt into one year (separate from a team gift exchange) getting supplies for kits for homeless individuals that was like buying toothpaste, brushes, etc.

While salary may play a role for some people it didn't for me, regardless of the amount I made I felt less inclined to join in on office gift exchanges and baskets and more and opted to do other things.

 

[Hook326]

I started at my job this year. Being right out of college, I make slightly less than everyone else who has been there for 5+ years. I am also in a different role that doesn't pay as much as their role.

I was just told about an office Christmas party and white elephant gift exchange that they do every year. I was informed that the gift exchange will be $50 minimum, because last year someone bought a "crappy and cheap" gift that one of the boss's got stuck with in white elephant exchange. The gift exchange will occur during normal business hours in the morning in the office.

What are your thoughts if you were presented with this information? What are the norms of gift exchanges at your job?

We do a white elephant and a secret Santa exchange.

White elephant for us is you choose something you don’t want anymore from your house (the more ridiculous the better) and wrap it up nicely and bring it to the Christmas lunch. We put a number on each gift and then randomly hand out numbers to everyone who chose to participate. Then we guess who was the giver of the ”gift”. It’s funny and you get rid of something that would've gone in the garbage or garage sale pile.

We also do a Secret Santa. If you want to participate, you write down your likes, dislikes, etc. it gets folded up and then we draw names. We cap ours at $25. We then drop off the gifts through the month of December to the person we drew either through a delivery person (another staff person), in their mailbox, or on their desk. We then guess who we think is our Santa at the Christmas party. We just drew ours last week, and I’ve already started shopping for my person. It’s always optional but everyone always does Secret Santa. Most do White Elephant but not everyone.

I like that we shop for a specific person, and they give a general wishlist. if I was at a new place and they said at least $50 gift and you didn’t know who you were giving to, I might pass in participating. It would be hard for me to give that price point of a gift with no specific person in mind to know what to pick out.

 

[_19disnA]

I would tell them you aren't interested in participating. Sounds like an aloof boss didn't like their gift..........tough cookies and VERY tacky for them to have said such a thing. Saying the gift is a MINIMUM of $50 also seems odd since that leaves a lot of room for interpretation.....are you expected to spend over $100+ or what does everyone else do since you are new to the company? For many people $50 is a LOT of money, so it is presumptious for the organizers to expect everyone to participate. Every office gift exchange I have ever heard of indicates a MAX of $X or simply says puchase a gift for $Y.

Where I work we have never had a gift exchange and glad we don't since I can see lots of reasons how things can go sideways.

 

[nw6675]

Hated them. Our department folks actually even balked at requests for charity donations like the Angel Tree - that it didn't need to be a work thing, but a personal choice to do so (usually through individual donations/volunteering, churches, etc.). We all made really good money, but it was more of the principle.

Years ago early in my career, my office did a Secret Santa. I couldn't remember what my person liked/disliked and couldn't find her form. I bought her something that included a big box of chocolate. Yep, the one thing she disliked was chocolate.

 

[EilonwyWanderer]

We do Yankee Swaps and they are completely optional but I love them! Most people just bring in alcohol/holiday sets and sometimes you can end up with a bad gift because of swaps, but since it's all in fun no one really cares. I once got a GREAT drill set that I still use to this day that everyone else thought was a weird one but I LOVE it.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Our department folks actually even balked at requests for charity donations like the Angel Tree - that it didn't need to be a work thing, but a personal choice to do so (usually through individual donations/volunteering, churches, etc.).

You know thinking back they did the Angel Tree as well but it wasn't our money, it was the company's money something like $100 or so for each family, I forget. But usually the supervisor of each team would go do the shopping, we would just meet as a team and discuss items to buy. I think they usually did two families each.

That said I actually get what you're saying. One year I donated portions of my paycheck that amounted to $300 to the March of Dimes. My husband's prior company also did March of Dimes but stopped after refocusing on more local charities. Thinking back I wish I hadn't done that not because necessarily March of Dimes (although I would have chosen to do something a bit more localized myself) but that it was something wrapped up in the company, that the competitions the companies in the area would run to see who got the most donations, IDK it felt less like helping and more like big name gives big money but a decent amount of that was employee funded.

I also think people get burned out on all these things, you have charities the company wants donations for, you have gift exchanges, secret santa, etc then you have your own things you want to do and suddenly you feel less and less...well charitable at times.

 

[kymom99]

I used to do secret Santa and always put a lot of thought into the gifts. I got tired of people who had my name half a$$ing it. Im a teacher and the last time I participated, the lady who had my name missed the first 2 months. (I think it ran sept-Dec). After the second month I mentioned it to the organizer. She had a list of who had who. She assured me that the lady was going to take good care of me in November. I got a Starbucks gift card. I don’t drink coffee and did not indicate on my card I filled out that I did.

The December gift was given at a faculty breakfast on the last day. She didn’t come for the breakfast. Everyone was opening their gifts and I sat there feeling like a dork. Then during the school day she called me in her class in front of her kids and made a big deal out of giving me my gift, like she was being so thoughtful buying me something. She gave me these little dessert plates even though the directions said last gift should be an ornament. I never used those plates. I put them in a box with my other Christmas things snd every year I’d look at them and get irritated. (Does that sound silly?). I finally donated them.

I guess the thing that bothered me most was she was all showy but I wasn’t important enough to follow up on an optional gift exchange she signed up for.

 

[nw6675]

I used to do secret Santa and always put a lot of thought into the gifts. I got tired of people who had my name half a$$ing it. Im a teacher and the last time I participated, the lady who had my name missed the first 2 months. (I think it ran sept-Dec). After the second month I mentioned it to the organizer. She had a list of who had who. She assured me that the lady was going to take good care of me in November. I got a Starbucks gift card. I don’t drink coffee and did not indicate on my card I filled out that I did.

The December gift was given at a faculty breakfast on the last day. She didn’t come for the breakfast. Everyone was opening their gifts and I sat there feeling like a dork. Then during the school day she called me in her class in front of her kids and made a big deal out of giving me my gift, like she was being so thoughtful buying me something. She gave me these little dessert plates even though the directions said last gift should be an ornament. I never used those plates. I put them in a box with my other Christmas things snd every year I’d look at them and get irritated. (Does that sound silly?). I finally donated them.

I guess the thing that bothered me most was she was all showy but I wasn’t important enough to follow up on an optional gift exchange she signed up for.

I feel REALLY bad about the chocolate now. However, does it soften it to say this was the dreaded "I hope I don't get her" person in the office. She was my friend and I apologized after. I can't even recall now what the other part of her gift was, all I can remember is the failed chocolate.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

In our department we all end up buying gifts for each other. We all spend probably $20-30. Of course we all have to chip in for a boss gift too...yea it gets pretty darn expensive at work.

 

[Donald Duck Family]

$50 is a lot of money. It's more money than we spend on many of our family members. I certainly wouldn't be happy about spending more money on people I work with than on my own family. Things like this can create a lot of tension and resentment at work. It can be difficult to decline but I would be looking for a way to not participate.

 

[kymom99]

I feel REALLY bad about the chocolate now. However, does it soften it to say this was the dreaded "I hope I don't get her" person in the office. She was my friend and I apologized after. I can't even recall now what the other part of her gift was, all I can remember is the failed chocolate.

If she was your friend, you could probably get a laugh out if it after. Hopefully you gave her a gift in a timely manner.

 

[AuntieMe3]

My DD(24) just told me she opted out of the gift exchange at her office. It's just between her department and the limit $25 but she had too much anxiety last year with her first exchange she chose to avoid it this year. LOL

 

[White Cat]

I started at my job this year. Being right out of college, I make slightly less than everyone else who has been there for 5+ years. I am also in a different role that doesn't pay as much as their role.

I was just told about an office Christmas party and white elephant gift exchange that they do every year. I was informed that the gift exchange will be $50 minimum, because last year someone bought a "crappy and cheap" gift that one of the boss's got stuck with in white elephant exchange. The gift exchange will occur during normal business hours in the morning in the office.

What are your thoughts if you were presented with this information? What are the norms of gift exchanges at your job?

Seems a bit high. I would pass.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

I started at my job this year. Being right out of college, I make slightly less than everyone else who has been there for 5+ years. I am also in a different role that doesn't pay as much as their role.

I was just told about an office Christmas party and white elephant gift exchange that they do every year. I was informed that the gift exchange will be $50 minimum, because last year someone bought a "crappy and cheap" gift that one of the boss's got stuck with in white elephant exchange. The gift exchange will occur during normal business hours in the morning in the office.

What are your thoughts if you were presented with this information? What are the norms of gift exchanges at your job?

I'd be asking my boss if I have to participate. That's just too high for a gift to someone who I may not actually have much contact/in common with.

White Elephant exchanges are typically some random "what do I do with this?" sort of gift, usually with a small MAXIMUM amount.

 

[brockash]

I started at my job this year. Being right out of college, I make slightly less than everyone else who has been there for 5+ years. I am also in a different role that doesn't pay as much as their role.

I was just told about an office Christmas party and white elephant gift exchange that they do every year. I was informed that the gift exchange will be $50 minimum, because last year someone bought a "crappy and cheap" gift that one of the boss's got stuck with in white elephant exchange. The gift exchange will occur during normal business hours in the morning in the office.

What are your thoughts if you were presented with this information? What are the norms of gift exchanges at your job?

Omg is there any way to Opt out??? I HATE office gift exchanges.