Those with FOUR + kids...

[amjg]

My DH and I have 4 children 6 and under. We adopted all 4 from Guatemala, so it was no accident that we had 4. We would love to have more, but with my husbands job that is not likely. We own a car lot and he works 8am - 9pm everyday. So now that the older two are involved in activities it is a little harder for me. I have a DS who is 6, a DD who is 6 (3months apart), a DS who is 4 and a DD who is 2.

My husband and I are not big spenders, so that makes it easy on the budget. We shop at Target or Kohls for clothing. Walmart is my second home.

Owning a car lot helps with the car situation, but I am a little picky in this category. With 4 kids in car seats I prefer to drive a Chevy Suburban. It is by far the roomiest vehicle and I have driven a lot. A van is too small, not enough storage for ball equipment, chairs, groceries, etc. I also feel much safer in the surburban, so that is our splurge (yes car dealers still pay for their cars).

As far as space we just built a 5 bedroom house, so each kid can have their own room. Funny thing is they all sleep in one room together. That fact reminds me everynight that a big family is great. They may fight, but in the end they love having eachother.

As far as quality time for each kid, we just started letting each kid pick wher they wanted to spend the day with just mom and dad. They love getting the personal attention. When it comes time to pick a souvenier they want to choose one for each sibling.

Oh yeah and Disney trips. We went last year with all 4 and got two connecting rooms at ASM. We took grandma with us just in case. We are going again in December 2009 and are trying AKL.

Whatever decision you make will be the right one for your family. Good Luck!

 

[NewmanFam6]

I always wanted four. I was the youngest of three so we always had an odd man out so to speak. Despite the age difference my daughters are very close and of course the twins always have each other. I am very fortunate in that I do not have to worry about money but yes kids are expensive I can't imagine not having all of them because they truly are my heart

 

[TheRatPack]

pps. I had made a plan to have 2 children early on and be done having children by 25!

I've always heard...if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans He's definitely laughed at mine over and over and then shows me his plans....sometimes I think it's a bit too much, but I follow along anyway LOL

 

[squirrlygirl]

I starting thinking about a 4th and we went back and forth on it for awhile. I heard alot of comments like the pp have said. You might regret not trying for another, but you will NEVER regret having another baby! You can always find ways to make it work if this is what your heart wants. We just had our 4th in June and I don't think I have lost the smile on my face since the day he was born! Just pure joy!!

What she said except change it to "November 2006" and "she".

 

[gr5coat]

My dh had 2 children from first marrige, and we had 2 together, so we have dd17, ds15, ds4, and ds6mos. The age differance is tough some times but in the end I am so grateful for the kids, all four of them. It took years and medical intervention to have my kids. I would have more if it was easier. We're planning a DLR for Feb before DD graduates. Counting pennies, but I know it will be a great vacation.

GR5COAT

 

[jaycns]

We have four boys. Right now we have our oldest just turned 12, we have one about to turn 9, a 7 and 1/2 year old and a 7 and 1/2 month old.

I LOVE being a mom of four. I don't think any of them miss out on "alone" time with us. I mean, they obviously have less "one on one" time with us but what they gain is so amazing, they have brothers!

Our youngest in no way has the same amount of "mommy and me" time that our oldest got. I spent my time focused on him (I am a SAHM) before our next child came along. However, our eldest son missed out on having three adoring older brothers vying for time to play with him, hold him and make silly faces at him.

If you are an only child all of your immediate family attention comes from mom and dad...throw in siblings and it starts to come from other sources. It's a trade off, but I don't see any of my children as being any the poorer for it. That said, my dh and I do make sure that each of our boys gets alone time with us. We enjoy doing this, the boys enjoy it. But they also enjoy their time together. I know that if asked our boys wouldn't trade one another in for more time alone with dh and myself.

I don't feel as if the love or "family time" or attention in our house has been divided at all. In fact, if it has multiplied.

As far as the financial impacts, obviously four mouths to feed, backs to put clothes on, feet to shoe, etc costs more than if you had less children. It costs more to sign them all up for different activities, it costs more to vacation. Plain and simple having more does cost more. I cannot speak as to what it would do to the OP's or anyone else's financial bottom line. Income, debt, life style choices, savings, job security, so many different factors come into play. I can offer up that in our situation, I don't feel as if it has taken anything away from our quality of life, ability to vacation or ability to pay the bills. However, when we had our first son, we were in a much different financial position and we did feel the pinch and I had no reservations about it then.

For me personally, money couldn't buy me anything that would compete with the way I feel when I spend time with my kids (and that includes a Disney vacation, name brand anything, new vehicles, a big home, etc). I have a cousin that feels very differently and sat down with her husband, spreadsheet and calculator when figuring out if she wanted to have another child or not. She said yes to the second but no to the third based on the fact that she didn't want to give up her "creature comforts" as she calls them (spa time, salon time, eating out often). She said she felt her quality of life and that of her existing kids and husband came first. I don't think she was wrong or bad for figuring it like that, it's just a much different view than mine.

Sorry to go on for so long. Hope at least a part of it actually answered your question and/or helped.

 

[Debbie7452]

I always wanted four kids. Two boys, two girls...I told people this as a newlywed. They laughed at me and said wait till you have one!!

Well I had my two girls, then a boy...then we waited a long time and were hesitating over the fourth. I just felt in my heart that my family wasn't complete, yet. Our DS kept asking for a brother...so we took the plunge and had #4 who turned out to be the brother DS wished for. My kids are very spaced out DD16, DD14, DS10 & DS2. The spacing for us is a blessing and little DS is spoiled rotten, I've gotta tell you. He keeps me feeling young.

Economically, it is complete insanity...and we struggle! But if you are not put off by that, the love is boundless and worth more than all the designer purses. Here are our four

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I probably shouldn't answer as I only have 3 kids. BUT...
As a kid I had everything you'd think a kid would want, except the one thing I couldn't have. I grew up an only child, I was lonely and desired nothing more than to be a part of a family. I knew that someday I would make my own family, and that is what I did. My family lives on a budget (one income, my choice, I wanted to be a SAHM). For me, I don't mind that I don't have the best clothes, I cut my own hair, my van isn't fancy and when we go to Disney we stay at the AllStars (which by the way, I LOVE!) I do this to make sure my kids have nice clothes (always on a good sale), get to do activities like dance and scouts. My kids don't have 50 Webkinz like some of their friends, but they have a few that they love. I know that someday they won't care how much stuff they had, but how much LOVE they had, and you can't replace that with any things. While I was loved as a kid, I still long for that connection of a sibling that I will never have. I don't knock anyone who wants the nice things in life, and if having another child is going to put you in a situation you arn't comfortable with, you shouldn't. For us, a power higher then us decided that we were to have 3 children as we planned to have 2, but thankfully we have our baby girl (she is almost 7). You have to do what is best for you, but once you have another, you can't imagine your life without them. Things just seem to work somehow. I shop for deals and can stretch a dollar really far, something I never had to do as a kid, but you learn. I am so happy that my kids have their sisters, and I know now, but especailly when they are older, they are going to know I gave them each other because I wanted them to have the one thing I always wanted.
I guess I rambled as this does not really apply to your kids as they have one another, so you have to decide what is best for you. For a while I wished we could have had just one more (crazy, I really thought I wanted just 2 so they would have A sibling), but after 3 c-setions and and endometriosis surgery, we decided to be happy with our family as it is--- and I am so greatful for it!

Best wishes with your decision...

 

[pyrxtc]

I have 4, granted one was mine from Ex and one was his from Ex and two are ours. Is till ahve moments where i could go for another one in the house. We get by pretty okay finacially and spending on them doesn't kill me since i am very frugal with where I spend our money and how. I was excited cuz I got to steal a 1 yr old for this past summer, it didn't kill my want for another. My DH had a vasectomy almost 5 yrs ago tho.

Now I am pushing my siblings to get going. None of them have kids and 3 of them are married with promises that they were going to start soon after their wedding. I ahve another SIL getting married in 2 weeks and she will be trying right away also. I don't know how much it will help since I don't live close to any of them. 2 of my siblings are sending me their kids for the summer anyways as soon as their old enough... LOL!

 

[KarlaG4Kids]

It sounds to me like I am probably about the closest to you in similar situations. I will give you my input and it is just MY input. I'm not asking for anybody else's opinion on it.

I have 4 kids. Those 4 kids were all born in 2-1/2 years. YES they are all mine and my dh's children. First child - boy, 17 minutes later 2nd child also a boy (identical twins), 17 months later third child - a girl and then 13 months later 4th child - a girl. When we starting talking about having kids we orginally wanted 7. DH comes from a large family and we both loved large families. I always said I wouldn't have 3. 2 was ok 4 was ok...but I came from a family of 3 and there was always one on the outside. I didn't want that "middle child". By the time we got 4 in 2-1/2 years and DH had a job that wasn't stable we decided we couldn't financially handle more. : (. Note...we were only 24 at that time. The only thing I found out later is that even though I don't have 3, sometimes I have the middle child anyway since the boys are identical twins. Usually it is great though. My children are all grown now, 27, 27, 26, 25, married, with kids of their own and EXTREMELY close to dh and I and their siblings. It is wonderful. I wouldn't change a thing except I might have had more kids if the situation had been different. We were able to travel some when the kids were young. We pulled a pop-up camper and camped at Ft. Wilderness or stayed off site at a condo. (There were no family suites at the value resorts yet). The things we had to do to travel were work together to earn money to go, scrimp a little and not have all of the extras, take our own snacks with us, cook some meals on our own. (We ran fireworks stands as a family to go on our first WDW trip). Only you can decide if you would like another child. You have been through the worst by having infant triplets. A single child will be a breeze compared to triplets! I can't tell you that the teenage years will be a breeze though. Anyway....God bless whatever decision you make. I don't regret having 4....I love it!

 

[A4Disney]

I always wanted 4.I liked the even number and I knew I wanted a bigger family-but 4 was my max.After my second and third were born I just knew I wasn't done.My youngest(#4)is 5 now and I am definitely done and thrilled with my family size.Anecdotally,I know 3 people that have 3 and wish they had one more but now it's too late....

 

[Disney Pal]

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU'RE FEELING!!!!!
I am also blessed with 5 year old triplet girls but I keep thinking
just one more and the family will be complete. I am not getting any
younger so I think the decision will have to be made soon. I think of
it so often. However we did IVF(first cycle) and were blessed with 3. I am a little scared to try it again. With my luck I would end up with Mike and Beth plus 8. I can't even imagine what her day is like! Good Luck with your decision! PRAY about it!

 

[parkers*momma]

okay...i asked this a while back...i might sound crazy...especially asking "strangers", but for those with four + kids...how did you come to that decision? I've been struggeling with this for years. In my heart I'd really like one more child (which would put us at four), but in today's world is just seems so overwhelming..mostly financially..space wise...etc. Like I wonder if we'll ever get back to Disney with FOUR kids...ya know? Every month when it comes to "that time" to make a baby...I get full of anxiety and back out...I don't know...part of me feels like I hear people say you're never ready and to go for it...and I don't want them much further apart..our triplets are already 5 1/2...any thoughts appreciated!

as a child growing up, I always wanted to be a mom to many children. My dream was 6. When I met Mr. Right, he only wanted one. OMG! was all I could think. Well...his dream was shattered and neither he or I could imagine our lives with only one (not knocking just saying what works for us). We had 4 children all four years apart...and at that point...We decided that was plenty but part of me still wanted another baby. When my youngest hit 7, my clock started bashing me up side the head and I really wanted a baby. I dreamed and yearned for a baby...I cried each month when Mother Nature called. I became pregnant twice and hard two miscarriages at 40. I gave up, he sighed relief and 10 months after we decided to just enjoy the children we had, our daughter was born. God knew better than us

For us, we talked it and both knew open eyed what we were in for....night feedings, diaper bags, giving up our freedom and you know what??? I wouldn't change a minute of it. I love all my children equally but the baby I was more relaxed and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it---so far---lol. Our children are 28, 24, 20, 16 and 7.

A couple side notes:
Since having our youngest...the desire to have more is completely gone. Now I know in my heart that 5 children is all we want/need

Financially, it really hasn't been much different than before. You learn to adapt. I know our story is a little different because our children are a lot older but you still worry, help, and do for your older children...at least we do. We have 4 beautiful grandbabies ages 6, 5, 4, and 2...mmmmm, maybe that is why we don't have the desire for more babies. We have the lil ones a lot....lol

 

[PA Princess]

We have four children. We married young and knew we wanted to have 2 or three children each 2 years apart - that was my plan. We pretty much started trying within the first few years of marriage, but we did not conceive. We saw doctors and we both had issues.

A few months later (before we had decided whether to adopt or try medical intervention) we were presented with an opportunity to adopt a baby (14 year old girl became pregnant, knew we were considering adoption, she and her parents approached us about adopting the baby). In a whirlwind of a few months, we became the proud parents of a beautiful baby boy.

When that baby was 3 months old, we became pregnant on our own - what a shock for all! Second ds was born 1 year and 1 day after first ds. How blessed we were!

When 2nd darling son was two, we discussed trying for another and decided we really wanted another child. We tried on our own, conceived quickly, but miscarried. A year later we sought help and conceived on our first round of medication. We then had ds 5, ds 4, and a brand new baby daughter. We were overjoyed!

For several years we had conversations about whether we were finished. I was really ready to be done, but dh wanted one more. When he knew I was sure I was done, he agreed to have the big V. One week before his surgery I discovered I was pregnant - I did not get over that shock until they placed our youngest dd in my arms.

Yes, I had made my plans, and nothing went according to my plans - thank goodness God's plans for our family have been so much better than I could ever have imagined.

Our children are currently 13, 12, 8, and 3, and life is always an adventure, but there is great joy in our home.

 

[LisaNJ25]

We started young and spaced them out. I will say #1 and #4 we not planned. I was 17 with #1 and #3 was 3 months old when I got pregnant with #4. I knew than it ws it. Hubby had a vasectomy while I was pregnant with #4. I did think about having my tubed tied after #3 but it was a catholic hospital and they wouldnt do it. Funny 12 months later when #4 was born they would of.

As fr as vacations.. my oldest is now 16. Were planning disney trip next summer and he already doesnt want to go. That is fine with me. He just went to Oregon a few weeks ago alone to visit relatives.

Sure money is tight.. I worked FT with the first 3. Than with #4 forget it. I couldnt afford daycare for 2.We dont own a house (should of bought when we only had 1, prices were half of what they are now and I had a good job.) 3 kids ashare a room... but we are hppy.

 

[KarlaG4Kids]

Golly....Thanks for starting this thread. It is making me misty eyed to realize there are lots more people like me out there. So many times when you have a large family you hear degrading comments (you ALL know what comments I am talking about). But aren't we all so blessed!!!

 

[elbow mac]

I have 4 too- I thought I was done after #3- that was fine with me,ect. Well,Suprise! My DS is 3 now. We debated #3 for 2 years brfore DH said yes- the younger 2 are the spark of our family- it would be very dull if we only had the older 2. And the older ones 12&10 are great helpers- they play and watch the little ones all the time. I will say the first year with 4 was the hardest for me- it is a bulr of no sleep and diapers, but after he hit a year, it has been better all the time.

 

[blessedby3]

We have 4- DD18, DS13, DD10 and DD1. We always wanted 4, but #3 made us rethink things high maintanence if you know what I mean!!!!! Well after she turned about 8 we thought, why not try?, and #4 was conceived on the first try. I said it must be then and we have enjoyed her so much and she is such a blessing. I had her at 40 and that was a bit harder, and she has reflux and hasnt slept since she was born, but I am praying that now that she is a year it will happen soon. As for trips, we have already taken our 4 to Disney this year and had a great time. Ten nights at POP and we have also taken two smaller weekend trips out of town to a water park and family reunion. I think like a PP said that things just kind of work themselves out for the most part. Our oldest started college last month and we are managing just fine. In the end its a personal decision. This is just my 2 cents about how it works for our family. Good luck with your decision.

 

[delmar411]

most all the other posters have summed up my feelings on having 4 kids. I don't find it as hard as many seem to think it should be. Kids are expensive but we were 'lucky' enough to have the 3 youngest, one right after another so they share pretty much everything. The only thing that I feel the kids lack is activities of their own. I can't take just one of them to a mommy and me type class and I can't bring 3 to such a class on my own. I don't regret our kids at all and in fact DH wants more. When the baby was born I had 3 in diapers for almost a year. Then I've had 2 in diapers up until this summer. Now I'm down to one in diapers and I can't believe how easy and freeing it is! LOL So I told DH no more until I have had none in diapers for a bit.

I don't want to be having babies past 35 and I'm already 31 so I'm not sure if anymore babies are in our future. I'm scared of starting over really. But I do have a tugging for another baby (it's a fierce tugging). Our families would have a fit as they don't understand our desire for a large family.

Anyway we're going through this decision now so I understand how hard it is to make the choice to add to your family. Outside of DD #2, none of my kids have been planned. So I'm a newbie at trying to figure this out.

I'm sorry for rambling so ramdomly! My thoughts are pretty much all over the place!

But we do get to WDW if that helps! LOL

 

[Blessed_wth_Triplets]

Thanks everyone for all the support and intimate replies. I really appreciate it. I have to agree...while we would never regret having a fourth, I could see me regret NOT having a fourth. So we are definitley going to start TTC. And you're all right...we can still do Disney! We'll just have to switch from POR to ASM suites!! Thanks again!