This Will Be A Sad Vacation...

[Blndiebby25]

 

[bouncy54]

Yesterday was a rough day. I had been ok up until I arrived at work, then I completely broke down as soon as I saw Nikki. She lost her husband last year, so I think I saw a kindred spirit in her. Poor Nikki. But she was super and a real comfort to me.

I guess I needed the outlet because I'm doing much better today. I was on the verge of tears a couple of times, but I managed to concentrate on my job without making too many mistakes.

I am now free to be with my family. My company gave me 3 paid bereavement days. I love the company I work for. They're just small enough to really care about their employees.

We are having a "celebration" of my brother's life on Thursday in Vancouver. I'm glad it is not going to be a somber occasion because I know that Steve would have hated that.

My nieces have asked me make a collage of their Dad's life. Steve always called me the "Matriarch" of our family because I'm the one who has all the photos. I also helped my youngest son create our family tree a few years ago, so I probably know more about our ancestors than anyone else. DD is going to help me with the collage tomorrow. She's into arts and crafts and does a lot of scrap-booking.

Thursday will be another tough day. Only my daughter and I are going to Vancouver. Everyone else has to work..but that's ok. We're going to stop in at my best friend's home and spend a few hours with her and her husband, then they're going with us to the celebration. They knew, and loved Steve too.

Anyway...I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm doing ok. Well wishes to all who have been affected by the fires in California. I hope those that planned their vacations at this time still manage to have fun.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Bouncy, I am glad you are hanging in there. I am glad you have friends to help you through this and that your company is being so understanding. It sounds like the Celebration will be just what your brother would have wanted and give all his loved ones a time to enjoy the memories with each other. I hope you and your daughter have a safe trip. You are being so strong, I really admire you! Take care of yourself and remember your friends on the disboards are here for you!

 

[bouncy54]

I just wanted to let those interested know...

I went to my brother's memorial on Thursday. What a wonderful, yet sad, experience that was.

I had no idea that he had so many friends...so many people who genuinely loved him. Although I suppose it shouldn't have surprised me since I thought he was pretty special myself.

There were lots of tears mixed in with lots of laughter as they passed the mic around and people told story after story of their special moments with Steve.

I saw old friends I hadn't seen in decades. His ex-wife and mother of his children was there as well. She was, as always, gracious and kind and I enjoyed sharing special memories with her.

There were several collages filled with photos from all periods of Steve's life and flowers galore. I left when they started playing his favorite songs...I couldn't have borne that as Steve and I held a special bond when it came to music. He loved to sing and dance...although he was not very good at either one.

We marked 59 balloons, one for each year of his life, with our own special message to Steve, then watched as we let them go and they ascended towards heaven.

His daughters did him proud this night.

Friday is the day that it finally sunk in. I faced the truth that I would never see, nor speak, to my brother again until my time on this Earth is done. That is always the hardest part of losing someone for me.

I am now going through the process of letting him go...replacing his physical presence with memories. This is why I always tell my children to not worry so much about material things...to concentrate instead on building memories because one day, that is all that you're going to have left to carry with you through this life.

Sometimes they get angry with me when I say this to them because they're so busy building their young lives, but they have not lost a mother, a father, a brother or a sister yet...they don't understand.

So...now it's time to get on with the business of living. Just 2 short weeks from now I will be in DL. I am looking forward to seeing the face of my 5yo grandson as he is introduced to the magic of Walt & Mickey's home.

I am so glad that we had this trip planned. I need to experience that sense of freedom as I Soar Over California...to feel the wind blowing in my face as I travel on Thunder Mountain. I can't wait to inhale the aromas of popcorn and homemade candy throughout the park. I want to imprint upon my heart the wonderful sounds of the Mark Twain and the clippety-clop of the horse-drawn vehicles on Main Street.

This trip is espcially important to me...I feel the need to build more memories with my loved ones. Not all my special memories are built around DL, but many of the best ones are.

And yes, dear brother, you are going with me this time. I will carry you in my heart.

 

[DangerMouse]

I'm so sorry, Bouncy.

I hope you have a wonderful, healing experience at Walt's park!

 

[Tink33]

Bouncy.

Your last post is a beautiful tribute. My eyes are filled with tears and my heart filled with sorrow.

It is a great reminder to let the people we love know how special they are in our lives.

 

[Sunobo]

I'm so sorry for your loss.