This really made me mad

[Zooey72]

I got back from Disney last week and I had an incident with cast member that really peaved me off. First, in our group it was me, my GF and her 4 daughters aged 15-20. Stacey is 18 and has CP and is mentaly retarded. She can not talk, but does have limited signing and can write. In any event, this is what happened.

Early in the vacation I became sick of being the militant guy who made the girls get up with me and my GF and force them to go to the parks. They are all teenagers, they can meet us in the parks when they want to (cell phones). That way I am not the overseer to them, and I don't resent them for taking away from our (mine and my GFs) vacation.

One of the days we got up Stacey was up with us ahead of her sisters and was getting ready, which was nice because we figured she wanted to come with us early. While the other girls were getting ready the 3 of us were ready. Stacey had changed her mind and said she wanted to be with her sisters, but she was hungry and didn't want to wait for them either. So me and my GF took her down to the food court (at pofq) she ordered what she wanted and she sat down. We made sure that Stacey had all of her stuff and told her that her sisters would be down in a little bit. As we were leaving, I informed the guard there (an older guy) that stacey was there. Not that she needs a babysitter but she does have a hard time communicating and I wanted someone to be aware of that in case of an emergency (a fire, whatever). He was nice about it and said no problem (and mentioned he had a special needs grandkid). Me and my GF went to Animal kingdom and a few hours later met up with her kids as planned. They didn't mention it at first, but when I asked them about breakfast they said that guard came over to them and demanded to see their IDs and to know where they were staying. I thought it was a bit over zealous at first, but maybe he was just checking to be sure that they were her sisters. But than they told me he had got more and more rude. Wanting to know the reservation # (as if they would have that memorized) and why it took them 1/2 an hour to meet up with stacey. First of all, they say it was more like 10 minutes. Second of all I don't care if it was 1/2 an hour, Stacey is more than capable of having breakfast by herself w/o a babysitter. He than said something to the effect that me and my GF abandon the girl by herself. Which threw me into a rage. Who the heck does this guy think he is? He knows nothing about us, much less what stacey is or is not capable of doing. Barring a fire or something the worst that could of happened would have been her sisters could of been jerks and not met up with her right away. In which case stacey would have gone back to our room... with her key... gone in and yelled at them for not coming down as they said they would (pretty much what anyone else would do to someone being rude).

My own personal opinion is that I want stacey to be able to do anything she is capable of doing. And eating breakfast by herself is no big test of her ability. Guys like this jerk would have handicapped the girl even more than she already is by never challenging them to do anything. They see them as the "poor retarded kid" which really makes me mad at how dehumanizing that is. And if that is how he wants to treat his grandchild, that's his call. I would never dream of encroaching on someone else's family and telling them what to do, but apparently he has no qualms about doing it to other people.

Needless to say I went to guest services in AK and complained about the guy.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I'm sorry this happened, but keep one thing in mind: there are two sides to every story.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

I agree with Lindsey. You asked a guard to keep an eye on a person who has less than normal competency, which actually is not part of his job. When he does what you have requested, as reported by teenage girls possibly a little more overzealously than you had wanted, you are upset at him.

How did they first react to him when he started to ask them questions? What was his side of it?

 

[WildGrits]

I'm sorry that she had such an experience.

I have found that telling people that my DD is disabled has turned around and bit me in the *** many of times. I now no longer do it.

I guess the best you can do is learn from this. Other than telling a stranger of her issues, I hate to say limitations, you could come up with something more discrete that she has control over. Like some cards she can use if in a situation she feels uncomfortable.

 

[Hannathy]

and why it took them 1/2 an hour to meet up with stacey. First of all, they say it was more like 10 minutes. Second of all I don't care if it was 1/2 an hour, Stacey is more than capable of having breakfast by herself w/o a babysitter.
My own personal opinion is that I want stacey to be able to do anything she is capable of doing. And eating breakfast by herself is no big test of her ability. Guys like this jerk would have handicapped the girl even more than she already is by never challenging them to do anything. They see them as the "poor retarded kid" which really makes me mad at how dehumanizing that is.

Needless to say I went to guest services in AK and complained about the guy.

Then why did you ask him to babysit her? Seems you are the one not sure of her abilities. I also agree with Lindsey, there are always two sides. As the Mom of a teenage DD for 3 of them to be in the food court in 10 minutes they would have had to be practically ready to walk out the door right after you. A teen can spend more than 10 minutes doing their hair after they already did it once, or just looking in the mirror and you have 3 of them!
I'm sorry he drilled them but he may have been stressed thinking he had accepted responsibility to watch this person for a few minutes and as it stretched on he was getting nervous. ( I don't think this is in his job description and he may have begun thinking of the repercussions if there had been a problem) I don't think it is nice to call a person trying to help you out, and outside of his job a jerk, I hope he doesn't have to take a lot of grief from Disney.

 

[momtoBrandon&Jacob]

Sounds to me like you're (OP) the over zealous one. You did ask the guard to look after her to which he should've said "no" to. It is not his job - it is her mother's job! The fact that you complained about him shows exactly the type of behavior that is just deplorable.

 

[Mickiethepooh]

to the OP, you gave the guard limited information. and asked him to keep an eye on her, NOT HIS JOB, in fact it would hinder him in doing his job. It is not up to him and how could he be expected to know the extent of her needs.

I don't think the guard did anything wrong.

 

[Schmeck]

Actually, leaving a disabled child (even if she is 18, she is still under the mother's care, right?) would be grounds for filing a report of negligence in my state. What are the laws in Florida?

 

[pcparamedics01]

I am sorry but I would have to agree to the other posters. I realize that you want her to have independence, but being that she is MR coupled with she cannot speak, a lot of things can happen in your absence even within a few minutes. I have a child with ASD (Autism) he is 9 and even at 18 unless he is cured someday, I would never leave him by himself!! Too much can happen!

 

[pcparamedics01]

I realize this is not your child but, you have to realize that so many things can happen with all children let alone Special Needs. What about abduction or she can just wander off? It is a big bad world out there. It is not just about a fire, hurricane etc. Parents of special needs children are overly cautious period... I would rather be overly cautious then have a tragedy that I cannot live with! Sorry I can sense that you are disgruntled a bit...

 

[BroganMc]

May I make a suggestion? Perhaps in your zeal to look after Stacey you were showing a bit of bias toward her yourself. If you felt comfortable leaving her alone to eat breakfast, why draw attention to her disabilities at all?

Presumably being "left alone" requires being able to handle one's self in an emergency. That means being able to evacuate and follow directions from emergency personnel.

Now I'm an adult female with a very physical disability (arthritis has me using a power chair). My wrist contractures have many thinking I have CP and/or a mental disability even though my mind and mouth are perfectly fine. There have been a few times when the ablebodied people around me have mistakenly given the impression I need to be looked after. Makes me hopping mad too since I have to work extra hard disproving the fiction.

Sometimes it is just better to say nothing and let the disabled speak for themselves.

 

[tw1nsmom]

I think the thing others are alluding to and that you're missing, is that if she can't handle herself in the case of an emergency, then she does need someone to watch over her. It wasn't the guards job, but you made it his for a short time.

I have two seven year olds. They can get themselves breakfast (on cereal days), get themselves dressed, know the routine of getting on the bus in the morning and know their way around school. What they wouldn't be able to handle is any kind of an emergency. Therefore they need adult supervision. If I left them alone in the house and a fire broke out I would be guilty of negligence. It is a much more gray area with your GF's DD as she's older, but if she's incapable of handling herself in an emergency she shouldn't be alone.

 

[pcparamedics01]

I think the thing others are alluding to and that you're missing, is that if she can't handle herself in the case of an emergency, then she does need someone to watch over her. It wasn't the guards job, but you made it his for a short time.

I have two seven year olds. They can get themselves breakfast (on cereal days), get themselves dressed, know the routine of getting on the bus in the morning and know their way around school. What they wouldn't be able to handle is any kind of an emergency. Therefore they need adult supervision. If I left them alone in the house and a fire broke out I would be guilty of negligence. It is a much more gray area with your GF's DD as she's older, but if she's incapable of handling herself in an emergency she shouldn't be alone.

Totally agreed!!!!

 

[terri01p]

I know how hard it is whenever you have a "special needs person" in your family, you want them to be independent but sometimes just because they can doesn't mean they should. We live in a very scary world where anything that can happen will happen. My dd has her routine that she's comfortable with and outside of that, to bad so sad, we will be with her. Vacation should be a family event, if you want time alone with your gf, plan something for just you two, I know that easier said than done, but no way I would ever let my dd go eat alone by herself in wdw, even if she insisted, I don't care if she's perfectly able, it's just to unsafe, doesn't mean she not independent, it just means that she's loved and I don't want anything to happen .

 

[Cheshire Figment]

I think this thread has run its course and nothing will be accomplished by further comments.