This is Us- Season four

[PollyannaMom]

Yikes!! - another one, directly relating to last week/next week:

At the reception after Jack's funeral, Kevin was complaining about Randall acting like the man of the house now, and said to him: "A real man would have stopped Dad from going back in there."

 

[Melissa55]

So, I've been binge-watching old episodes (mostly to stay off current TV) and some things have struck me... There were definitely set-ups for Randall's feelings of having to be "the good one", and I think we'll see them in flashbacks if they show more of his therapy... Forgetfulness in Rebecca really early on

I think there have definitely been some key things that have been part of the plot from the beginning. Maybe not every little detail, but definitely bigger things like “Kate has self-esteem issues, Kevin and Jack and Jack’s father all deal with addiction issues, Rebecca will get Alzheimer’s, Randall is a perfectionist which causes a constant underlying anxiety...”

As far as the forgetfulness, just for those of you with aging friends and loved ones, it doesn’t necessarily mean dementia. My dad has always been forgetful and now he has dementia, but my aunt never struggled with forgetfulness and then her dementia came on seemingly very suddenly because she went from a steel trap memory to not knowing her grandkids’ names or forgetting she had a pet cat. And I have several relatives who are just forgetful/absent-minded but do not have dementia.

 

[TLSnell1981]

This one will be emotional. I'm going to ugly cry.

 

[Dentam]

At the reception after Jack's funeral, Kevin was complaining about Randall acting like the man of the house now, and said to him: "A real man would have stopped Dad from going back in there."

Wow, that is huge. I wonder if in the present day scene with Randall at the end of the last episode, he doesn't remember saying that?

 

[mnrose]

Oh my word. What an episode. Sterling Brown is an amazing actor.

 

[kimblebee]

Ok, I wasn’t crazy about this episode.

The ending was definitely better than the first half/three quarters of the episode.

Next week is going to be major..

 

[mnrose]

Oh I agree with you. I kept wondering "where's this going" but when seen as a whole, it was incredible.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Okay wasn't as much focus on Jack so I held up better than expected.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Ok, I wasn’t crazy about this episode.

The ending was definitely better than the first half/three quarters of the episode.

Next week is going to be major..

I was exactly the opposite. I found it fascinating to see how his fantasies and fears played out, and I was totally team therapist on this one.

The ending threw me, because it wasn't what I expected at all.

I do agree next week is going to be major!

 

[Searc]

Hated it.

Sterling Brown is an amazingly talented actor, but Randall as a character is despicable.

 

[cabanafrau]

IMO it's below the belt for Randall to extort/coerce his mother, especially in her condition, to do what he thinks is best. He's not God. He's not a doctor. He won't be the one potentially risking a significant portion/all of her remaining best opportunities at a quality life with those she loves around her.

If Randall were in her shoes and he believed he was doing the right thing for his adoptive child by hiding the existence and identity of a birth parent he would feel completely within his judgment to make that choice. He has a lifetime pattern of behavior to demonstrate his feelings of entitlement to behave that way. Rebecca explained and sincerely apologized for her choices and actions.

 

[TLSnell1981]

IMO it's below the belt for Randall to extort/coerce his mother, especially in her condition, to do what he thinks is best. He's not God. He's not a doctor. He won't be the one potentially risking a significant portion/all of her remaining best opportunities at a quality life with those she loves around her.

If Randall were in her shoes and he believed he was doing the right thing for his adoptive child by hiding the existence and identity of a birth parent he would feel completely within his judgment to make that choice. He has a lifetime pattern of behavior to demonstrate his feelings of entitlement to behave that way. Rebecca explained and sincerely apologized for her choices and actions.

Guess this causes the split with the Big 3?

 

[cabanafrau]

Guess this causes the split with the Big 3?

Seems pretty likely to me. I know if I were his sibling I would be livid, and taking every step possible to not only slow his roll, but make him reinvent the wheel before he moved another inch. His extortion/coercion is so far beyond moral, ethical, humane and emotional limits that I seriously question his love for any and all members of the nuclear Pearson family he grew up in. He seems to always hold himself above in all situations because of the circumstances of his birth and the fact that he wasn't born into the family. Conversely every member of that nuclear family genuinely seems to love him deeply, even Kevin, the one who he's always had some rivalry with.

 

[3threebabies]

As adult children of senior parents, it is a hard call with regard to health decisions and recommendations. We recently had to tell my father that a recent procedure was not optional but required. By “we“ I mean myself, sister, mother, all his medical professionals, all his fiends who are/were medical professionals, all his friends and acquaintances who have done procedure or know someone who has, etc. We would not have been so adamant had the procedure been a trial or had unknown quantifiable results, or my father weren’t physically capable of recovery.

Rebecca does not seem to be in the same situation. They are called calculated risks for a reason. Randall is taking one now. It appears the risk will not be worth the unlikely reward/result.

ETA: So I guess I wasn’t very clear. I find Rebecca’s situation to be completely opposite of my own. Randall took a calculated risk pressuring his mother to side with him. Risk 1–Randall should not have manipulated his mother against the stated wishes of Kevin and probably Kate and Miguel. Risk 2–the trial is unlikely to provide benefit equal to the physical and emotional cost of the patient.

 

[TLSnell1981]

As adult children of senior parents, it is a hard call with regard to health decisions and recommendations. We recently had to tell my father that a recent procedure was not optional but required. By “we“ I mean myself, sister, mother, all his medical professionals, all his fiends who are/were medical professionals, all his friends and acquaintances who have done procedure or know someone who has, etc. We would not have been so adamant had the procedure been a trial or had unknown quantifiable results, or my father weren’t physically capable of recovery.

Rebecca does not seem to be in the same situation. They are called calculated risks for a reason. Randall is taking one now. It appears the risk will not be worth the unlikely reward/result.

ETA punctuation typo.

Everyone needed to agree on Rebecca's treatment plan unless/until it wasn't what Randal wanted? BTW..why hasn't Miguel been consulted regarding his wife's medical decisions?

Shame on Randal for manipulating his mother in her condition.

 

[Melissa55]

As adult children of senior parents, it is a hard call with regard to health decisions and recommendations. We recently had to tell my father that a recent procedure was not optional but required. By “we“ I mean myself, sister, mother, all his medical professionals, all his fiends who are/were medical professionals, all his friends and acquaintances who have done procedure or know someone who has, etc. We would not have been so adamant had the procedure been a trial or had unknown quantifiable results, or my father weren’t physically capable of recovery.

Rebecca does not seem to be in the same situation. They are called calculated risks for a reason. Randall is taking one now. It appears the risk will not be worth the unlikely reward/result.

Here’s the thing though: it sounds like everyone in your situation is on the same page. It’s pretty awful of Randall to go behind his siblings’ (and Miguel’s!!! Rebecca has a husband!!!) backs and drop a GIGANTIC guilt bomb on Rebecca to manipulate her into saying yes.

With my dad’s dementia, my sister and I defer to my mom because we both live out of state and my mom is my dad’s primary caregiver. If she needs our backup, we give it to her. I know all the Pearsons are dismissive of Miguel, and Randall justified it to himself as “he missed this for months,” but the bottom line is Miguel should be the one who has the final say. I bet none of the Big 3 ever even considered his opinion.

Sterling Brown is an amazingly talented actor, but Randall as a character is despicable.

Agree wholeheartedly. Sterling is portraying a deeply flawed, multi-layered character extremely well, but boy is Randall a total jerk right now. I wonder if he even talked through any of it with Beth. I feel like Beth would tell him to step back from the situation and let his mother be in control of what she has left.

 

[Melissa55]

Everyone needed to agree on Rebecca's treatment plan unless/until it wasn't what Randal wanted? BTW..why hasn't Miguel been consulted regarding his wife's medical decisions?

Shame on Randal for manipulating his mother in her condition.

Haha looks like I should have refreshed before posting.

 

[cabanafrau]

Notably Rebecca's glance went to Miguel, I believe possibly first, when she looked to the family members present while she was on the phone with Randall. In Rebecca's mind he's a significant part of what she's leaving behind (possibly forever in a meaningful way) to accede to Randall's extortion, if the rest don't band together to put a stop to it.

Makes me wonder if that's a significant factor in Randall's announcing himself by name in the glimpse of the future where he enters the room where Rebecca is in bed with Nicky sitting with her.

 

[lisaviolet]

Makes me wonder if that's a significant factor in Randall's announcing himself by name in the glimpse of the future where he enters the room where Rebecca is in bed with Nicky sitting with

I doubt it. Why? Because there is zero tension between Beth and Kevin during those future scenes. And Kevin's son is completely at ease with his Uncle Randall, seemingly having a full relationship over time.

This will be worked out sooner than later. Well in my opinion. Meaning won't last for years.

My father and brother died three weeks of each other, one in the States - one here. Both of cancer. Everyone had completely different viewpoints, wishes, ways of honouring and not honouring those who were ill - their outlook, how to deal with this or that, their own choices for their own care and life.

Emotions abound to how to get their loved ones to do what they thought was best to survive. Questioning care and caregivers. They were simply letting their horrid and devestating emotions overtake rational thought processes. I can't even explain how easy that is to do. We barely survived, our relationships (my mom had dementia at the time so we couldn't take a step back even if we wanted to do that). We tried to work together, think together, act together. But sometimes failed. Often failed. One was continually behind the scenes going completely rogue. Compassion, expressing emotions in the moment, responsibility after the fact and forgiveness got us through. By the grace of God.

Randall's ways are not rational right now, but my goodness the writing is honest.

 

[lisaviolet]

The best part of the episode - Beth Pearson.

Always!

Still ridiculously and insanely jealous of those who got her on the quiz.