This is Us- Season four

[AustinTink]

I definitely don’t think it’s as easy as Kate and Toby argued and they broke up.

I feel like he might end up being the bad guy, which would explain his deep depression in the flash forward.

 

[kimblebee]

I feel like he might end up being the bad guy, which would explain his deep depression in the flash forward.

It’s hard to say.

Maybe they’re still together and Kate was the one with Jack in the car. Toby could just be going through a rough patch.
He does say ‘does she want me there’ or something like that..we assume he’s talking about Kate, but who knows.

Last season we were convinced Beth and Randall were divorced and ‘her’ was dead

 

[brockash]

He said he goes on his lunch hour mostly, which I'm sure she resents as well. She doesn't get to go to work and interact with other adults, much less go to the gym. But, would she if she had the opportunity? From the flash forwards we can surmise that Toby and Kate are separated. It's an easy guess to blame Kate, but maybe the writers just want us to think that. Maybe Toby gets all buff and has an affair.

Edited to add: I see my husband without clothes multiple times a day. Whether I want to or not, lol. How did Kate not see Toby without his clothes or at least snuggle up next to him for months? It just seems so off, like there is already a disconnect. You can't blame pregnancy or a newborn on that. If you still sleep in the same bed or even hug one another daily, it would be obvious.

I don't think it matters if she actually would/would not if she had the opportunity... the lack of the opportunity is the issue. Again, perceived or reality, doesn't really matter when it comes to feelings. I think that, with all the new baby stuff and the fact that I'm sure she does feel a little intimidated/inferior/threatened by the fact that she's still struggling and kind of going backwards under the stress and he's moving forward; it's easy to see where the resentment could come from and the petty/snippyness etc. Def.not saying it's right or healthy, but can totally understand it. I'm glad she went back and apologized etc. It also wasn't like he was being prince charming either... he already felt like the class was kinda dumb, then had a part in them being late and his comment about "we should have emailed them or ket them know ahead of time about Jack" could/was very easily internalized by Kate as saying she didn't make a good decision or prepared appropriately etc. and again implying that she should have. I can't imagine the stress both of them would be under so in knowing that I don't think either of them were horrible to each other, but def. stressed out.

 

[AustinTink]

Last season we were convinced Beth and Randall were divorced and ‘her’ was dead

Darn those writers! They have me coming up with all kinds of crazy ideas just to try to guess what's going to happen. They're good.

 

[Twilight Sparkle]

I feel like this episode juxtaposed the newbie parenting of Kate and Toby with the seasoned parenting of Beth and Randall. In earlier seasons we saw the new parent struggles with Rebecca and Jack. We haven't seen Beth and Randall with baby Tess or baby Annie, have we? Maybe, just maybe, this is just showing again how difficult it can be to transition from no children to parenting. Rebecca and Jack had triplets and that certainly created issues for the new parents. Little Jack is blind and Kate and Toby are trying to navigate through all of that in addition to being new parents. It's got to be stressful, and the show is doing a good job of letting us see that. Hopefully, Kate and Toby will learn to parent Jack as a team - just as Rebecca and Jack did for the most part (no one's perfect) - and finally reach a comfortable co-parenting dynamic. The scenes with depressed, alone Toby in the flash forwards certainly have me worried, but I'm not giving up on these two yet.

 

[Sandeep1]

Highly possible. She's already making digs at Toby for spending "all his time" at the gym. I've seen this happen before. One spouse tries to better him or herself and the other one takes it personally and can't handle it. They met at an eating disorder group, didn't they? She might not be able to forgive him for fighting to get over his food addictions.

Yup. I mentioned this at the end of the episode where Kate asked Toby to take his shirt off. She's a very insecure woman and I knew this was going to cause problems in the future. However, I'm firmly Team Toby on this one. The guy had a freaking heart attack. So, he's doing exactly what he should be doing by getting himself healthy. Kate has zero room to complain about any of that, absolutely zero room. Her feelings are her feelings but they are selfish feelings.

 

[Sandeep1]

Loved everything about this episode.

Kevin is wonderful. I'm warming up to Cassidy and rooting for Nicky. I'm enjoying the three of them being in scenes together.

Beth and Randall's college backstory is nice to see.

Love that young adult Kate found a job doing something she enjoys. Music store guy seems smitten with her.

Hoping Kate and Toby manage to work together for Jack's sake.

Not looking good for Malik and Deja right now but can't say I blame Randall and Beth. I'd likely feel the same way if it was my daughter. Doubt it's the end of that relationship, though.

That voicemail at the end was so perfectly Kevin.

I wasn't thrilled with Randall's reaction. Now, Malik didn't actually get a chance to explain why his daughter is with him all the time. But look, if he explains that he's raising the child because the mom didn't want the child and he didn't want to give the baby up for adoption, I'd respect the HELL out of the kid. Respect the hell out of him. He also sounded really educated the way he was talking to Randall about his campaign. There is a lot to like about Malik.

 

[kimblebee]

I wasn't thrilled with Randall's reaction. Now, Malik didn't actually get a chance to explain why his daughter is with him all the time. But look, if he explains that he's raising the child because the mom didn't want the child and he didn't want to give the baby up for adoption, I'd respect the HELL out of the kid. Respect the hell out of him. He also sounded really educated the way he was talking to Randall about his campaign. There is a lot to like about Malik.

Seeing that Randall was dumped at a fire station, maybe playing up raising his daughter and taking on the responsibility is the way to get him on Malik’s side.

 

[Dentam]

Edited to add: I see my husband without clothes multiple times a day. Whether I want to or not, lol. How did Kate not see Toby without his clothes or at least snuggle up next to him for months? It just seems so off, like there is already a disconnect. You can't blame pregnancy or a newborn on that. If you still sleep in the same bed or even hug one another daily, it would be obvious.

I thought the same thing when I watched that. Seemed really odd to me.

 

[js]

A few thoughts I have, although I'm not nearly as good as all of you with your ideas:

*For my family, I wouldn't have my young 12 year old daughter dating someone two grades older with a baby. Even if the kid is a
good kid. Friends, fine but not a boyfriend.

*Kate wants everyone to always be so supportive of her, but she really isn't happy or supportive of Toby and his weight loss.
She hasn't even gone up and hugged him and told him how great he is doing (maybe they showed that quickly, can't remember).

*When Kate was in the record store, the boy/worker she was talking to was trying to be nice and one of the first things she had to tell him was that she doesn't have a certain record since her house burned down. Just me, but she always wants some type of pity. Most teens wouldn't throw that into a conversation right away especially when a girl is talking to a boy the first time.

*I think that Kate is in somewhat a little denial about baby Jack and his blindness. Thankfully, I haven't been in this position, but I think my first baby group meeting would be with other families in their situation so they can learn how to raise Jack independently. In seeing him in the future, this looks like it ended up happening, which is maybe why we saw the Gymboree thing this week.

*Loved how Beth's mother helped Kate but we haven't really seen them in the future together at any holidays or events have we? Why?

 

[kimblebee]

A few thoughts I have, although I'm not nearly as good as all of you with your ideas:

*For my family, I wouldn't have my young 12 year old daughter dating someone two grades older with a baby. Even if the kid is a
good kid. Friends, fine but not a boyfriend.

*Kate wants everyone to always be so supportive of her, but she really isn't happy or supportive of Toby and his weight loss.
She hasn't even gone up and hugged him and told him how great he is doing (maybe they showed that quickly, can't remember).

*When Kate was in the record store, the boy/worker she was talking to was trying to be nice and one of the first things she had to tell him was that she doesn't have a certain record since her house burned down. Just me, but she always wants some type of pity. Most teens wouldn't throw that into a conversation right away especially when a girl is talking to a boy the first time.

*I think that Kate is in somewhat a little denial about baby Jack and his blindness. Thankfully, I haven't been in this position, but I think my first baby group meeting would be with other families in their situation so they can learn how to raise Jack independently. In seeing him in the future, this looks like it ended up happening, which is maybe why we saw the Gymboree thing this week.

*Loved how Beth's mother helped Kate but we haven't really seen them in the future together at any holidays or events have we? Why?

Is Déjà only 12? I think she’s older than that.

 

[js]

Is Déjà only 12? I think she’s older than that.

I thought she was a freshmen, so 12-13. Even 15 it's a no for me.

 

[JennM]

I thought she was a freshmen, so 12-13. Even 15 it's a no for me.

My freshman DD is 14, turning 15 during this school year. But that's still big news to overcome with parents and a dating scenario. I would have serious reservations as a parent too!

 

[brockash]

I wasn't thrilled with Randall's reaction. Now, Malik didn't actually get a chance to explain why his daughter is with him all the time. But look, if he explains that he's raising the child because the mom didn't want the child and he didn't want to give the baby up for adoption, I'd respect the HELL out of the kid. Respect the hell out of him. He also sounded really educated the way he was talking to Randall about his campaign. There is a lot to like about Malik.

Absolutely would respect him and like him A Lot, but that's very different than wanting my teen daughter, let alone freshman 14 year old daughter involved in that situation.

 

[brockash]

A few thoughts I have, although I'm not nearly as good as all of you with your ideas:

*For my family, I wouldn't have my young 12 year old daughter dating someone two grades older with a baby. Even if the kid is a
good kid. Friends, fine but not a boyfriend.

*Kate wants everyone to always be so supportive of her, but she really isn't happy or supportive of Toby and his weight loss.
She hasn't even gone up and hugged him and told him how great he is doing (maybe they showed that quickly, can't remember).

*When Kate was in the record store, the boy/worker she was talking to was trying to be nice and one of the first things she had to tell him was that she doesn't have a certain record since her house burned down. Just me, but she always wants some type of pity. Most teens wouldn't throw that into a conversation right away especially when a girl is talking to a boy the first time.

*I think that Kate is in somewhat a little denial about baby Jack and his blindness. Thankfully, I haven't been in this position, but I think my first baby group meeting would be with other families in their situation so they can learn how to raise Jack independently. In seeing him in the future, this looks like it ended up happening, which is maybe why we saw the Gymboree thing this week.

*Loved how Beth's mother helped Kate but we haven't really seen them in the future together at any holidays or events have we? Why?

Regarding the boy at the record store...he was giving her crap and kinda making fun of her for not having the CD already... he asked her something like "who doesn't already own ..." to which she replied "someone who's house burned down." It wasn't like she just brought it up out of nowhere. Also in the episode with the Toby losing weight thing, she did come back when they were in a bedroom telling him he was doing a great job and that it just caught her off-guard. - You know because he was lying to her every day about it while she was at home taking care of their new disabled son. I don't know I guess I don't get all the praise on Toby and hate on Kate... I think both are doing what they can and what they feel is best and are generally good towards each other, but neither are without fault.

 

[js]

Regarding the boy at the record store...he was giving her crap and kinda making fun of her for not having the CD already... he asked her something like "who doesn't already own ..." to which she replied "someone who's house burned down." It wasn't like she just brought it up out of nowhere. Also in the episode with the Toby losing weight thing, she did come back when they were in a bedroom telling him he was doing a great job and that it just caught her off-guard. - You know because he was lying to her every day about it while she was at home taking care of their new disabled son. I don't know I guess I don't get all the praise on Toby and hate on Kate... I think both are doing what they can and what they feel is best and are generally good towards each other, but neither are without fault.

Thanks. Yes, I remember the boy said who doesn't own the CD, still thought a teen would have not said anything then telling a boy she just met about her house, but that's just me and my experiences.

I am in the not really liking Kate camp. It is always about her. Sometimes you just need to take responsibility for your life, pull yourself up and move on and own it, not use the past as an excuse. Sure, it shapes us, but she is almost 40, time to grow up.
But, it's a TV show LOL so whatever LOL

 

[Mika02]

A few thoughts I have, although I'm not nearly as good as all of you with your ideas:

*For my family, I wouldn't have my young 12 year old daughter dating someone two grades older with a baby. Even if the kid is a
good kid. Friends, fine but not a boyfriend.

*Kate wants everyone to always be so supportive of her, but she really isn't happy or supportive of Toby and his weight loss.
She hasn't even gone up and hugged him and told him how great he is doing (maybe they showed that quickly, can't remember).

*When Kate was in the record store, the boy/worker she was talking to was trying to be nice and one of the first things she had to tell him was that she doesn't have a certain record since her house burned down. Just me, but she always wants some type of pity. Most teens wouldn't throw that into a conversation right away especially when a girl is talking to a boy the first time.

*I think that Kate is in somewhat a little denial about baby Jack and his blindness. Thankfully, I haven't been in this position, but I think my first baby group meeting would be with other families in their situation so they can learn how to raise Jack independently. In seeing him in the future, this looks like it ended up happening, which is maybe why we saw the Gymboree thing this week.

*Loved how Beth's mother helped Kate but we haven't really seen them in the future together at any holidays or events have we? Why?

Is Déjà only 12? I think she’s older than that.

I thought she was a freshmen, so 12-13. Even 15 it's a no for me.

Deja is a Freshman in High school so 14/15 depending on her birthday. Malik is a Junior so roughly 16. I don't believe age is a factor. Experience is definitely a factor. Person as a parent I'm not worried about Deja I'm worried about Malik he has a daughter to care for, a job, school that's a lot of responsibilities add a girlfriend I think it's too much.

That said forbidding them to see each other is like pushing them together so her parents really need to play this right. One thing I've learned as a parent is to choose your battles.

 

[AustinTink]

Yikes, this was not her best performance.

 

[AustinTink]

I thought she was a freshmen, so 12-13. Even 15 it's a no for me.

I was 13 freshman year, but that's not the norm. I dated a senior when I was a freshman. Beth and Randall would have had a fit! Rightfully so.

 

[js]

That said forbidding them to see each other is like pushing them together so her parents really need to play this right. One thing I've learned as a parent is to choose your battles.

I agree. As a parent of a 21 and 25 year old I learned that very early on. I would personally not want to have my 15 year old dd or ds dating someone two grades higher with a child. This is a battle I would not have a problem standing my ground on but to each their own.