This... Disgusts Me- Thoughts?

Yes, but are you going in a plush handbasket with cable TV? If you're not, you're welcome to come with me.

I was going for a nice plush black coffin with an endless supply of Count Dracula cereal and speakers to blast some alternative music out of myself. How would you be travelling?
xD
 
I find it really tempting to go walk in to that church all dressed in black with a Metallica shirt on, black eyeliner and nailpolish, some fake tattoos and a fake nose ring, Skull Candy headphones around my neck with Marilyn Manson as loud as it can go, eating some Count Chocula, dancing and headbanging, and maybe I'll even walk in with a bottle of Smirnoff.
I wonder what they'd do...
 
This was an actual letter sent out by the St. Mary's Church that was found online and one of my friends posted on facebook.

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through
meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very
dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your
child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

~St. Mary's Catholic Church

Oh Sh*t... So this is saying that at the metal concert I went to I shouldn't have smoked 5 joints while having sex with 8 different girls? And I shouldn't have stayed up til 1 in the morning? And then I shouldn't have bought those black shirts that said, "gothic and proud" and then sell them at two times the price for crack money? And then I shouldn't have used the crack, and then rented Gears of War and played online while killing all those doods? And then I should have taken down all my satan/buddha posters? (Oh noes! I want to keep my Buddha posters!)

Whatevs, at least Hell is probably better than Wisconsin...I hope they have frolfing...
 
I was going for a nice plush black coffin with an endless supply of Count Dracula cereal and speakers to blast some alternative music out of myself. How would you be travelling?
xD

Like I said previously, I have a plush handbasket. There's a jacuzzi and a TV the size of an entire wall with a PS3 and Wii hooked up. The walls are a deep red and the sofa is soft, black leather. The fridge is stocked with milk, cheese, butter, Jell-O (and pudding), and so on. And there's an infinite supply of Count Chocula in the cupboards.
 
Like I said previously, I have a plush handbasket. There's a jacuzzi and a TV the size of an entire wall with a PS3 and Wii hooked up. The walls are a deep red and the sofa is soft, black leather. The fridge is stocked with milk, cheese, butter, Jell-O (and pudding), and so on. And there's an infinite supply of Count Chocula in the cupboards.

Oh marvellous in that case I shall travel with you but only if your PS3 games are extremely violent ;)
 
Can I come with you? Pleaaaseee. :) I'll bring some of my violent video games. And Rock Band.
 
I'll bring my gay/bisexual friends. We'll have our own fiesta in Hell.
 
Yeah, I don't own it though... I'll jump my heroin dealer and then buy it.

:lmao: :lmao:

Now would people prefer me to bring ecstacy or acid? Haven't got room for both amongst all my bottles of booze.
 
I love how drugs and alcohol are on the list.
I mean if you know your kids are doing stuff like that(and you know it), I don't think the major priority is them being goth. XD
 
:lmao: :lmao:

Now would people prefer me to bring ecstacy or acid? Haven't got room for both amongst all my bottles of booze.

Hide the ecstacy in plastic baggies in your mouth. You should have enough room then for the acid.
 
Hide the ecstacy in plastic baggies in your mouth. You should have enough room then for the acid.

Dude, how did I not think of that!?

Now it's going to be hot down there right so how does a belt sized black miniskirt and a low-cut black band tee sound?
 
Oh marvellous in that case I shall travel with you but only if your PS3 games are extremely violent ;)

I've got all the Halo games, and all the Tom Clancy games, and every role-play game on the market (like final fantasy, for example- those games can get violent).

Can I come with you? Pleaaaseee. :) I'll bring some of my violent video games. And Rock Band.

Don't forget all the versions of Guitar Hero!

I'll bring my gay/bisexual friends. We'll have our own fiesta in Hell.

FIIIIIIEEEEEESSSTAAAA! MARGARITA TIME!


:lmao: :lmao:

Now would people prefer me to bring ecstacy or acid? Haven't got room for both amongst all my bottles of booze.

That's all you've got? Just ecstasy and acid?! You're such a lame excuse for a heathen!
 
This was an actual letter sent out by the St. Mary's Church that was found online and one of my friends posted on facebook.

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in.

The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through
meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very
dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your
child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

~St. Mary's Catholic Church


All the things I highlighted are things that I think are freaking ridiculous.
I mean come on, seriously?!
 
I'll bring guacamole with bits of Count Chocula and Frankenberry mixed in.
 





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