Thinking of leaving one child behind....

[cbusby]

This is my first Disney trip with my family DH, myself and ds (13) and I also have a ds (21) but the 21yr old would rather go to France with his friends
which so happens to be the same time our WDW trip is planned. He has no objections going our separate ways in June..........I'm sure he will have a great time in France.......I just hope when were at WDW I won't worry to much about my oldest in France......

 

[goofy!]

oops, deleted

 

[cbusby]

WAY TO GO GOOFY...........

:thewave: :thewave:

 

[Bonnie40]

Let's hear it for Goofy!

 

[goofy!]

oops, deleted

 

[MidgeD79]

I've been lurking. I agree with the Op , but the responses are one of the reasons why I'm hesitated to ask questions.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

Here's my two cents...

I don't think it would make you bad parents to leave your younger son home. That said, I would definitely give some more thought to taking the baby, anyway. First of all, a five year old will probably need to rest/nap, too, so you will be taking breaks regardless. Also, 18 mos. is plenty old enough to enjoy Disney in his own way. My son is only 3 months old and enjoyed taking in the colors at Downtown Disney last week! We took him there as a "test run" for the parks, and he just loved the crowds, the animatronics at RFC, and the little mini-carousel they have there. I feel confident taking him for a full-blown weeklong vacation in November after seeing his reaction to this mini-Disney adventure! If your younger son is sociable and generally okay with people and travel, I say take him. I will admit that I am TOTALLY biased, however, as the idea of leaving my son with anyone at 18 mos. is just horrifying to me. Probably because I am a first-time mommy, LOL, but I know I would just panic if I left him with anyone at that age, for more than a few hours...and that includes his grandparents who are all wonderful with him! I'd just miss him too much and feel guilty even if I had a good reason for doing so. Mama guilt is a terrible thing and strikes when you least expect/deserve it! Also, you did not mention if you are nursing or plan to be nursing at that time, but in my case I hope to still be nursing at 18 mos. and I think it might be difficult for both of us to be separated for a while, even if I did leave bottles of breastmilk for him. Good luck with your decision!

 

[4greatboys]

For me I would take them both. Im just not sure I could have a good time leaving one behind. With babyswapping and all the kiddie rides they have there there will be quite a bit you can do with a baby.

 

[grlpwrd]

OK, I'm just going to jump back in here now. Yes, I have been reading this thread, but have not responded as I have said all that need to be said...until now.

grlpwrd, I beg your pardon, but how is my situation any less "acceptable" than LisaNJ25's? I look at this trip as bonding time with my older son as well. I'm not just tossing my younger son aside for the heck of it. He will be with his grandparents. He will have a wonderful time bonding with them. He's always had to share his grandparents with his older brother.

In case you didn't notice, this is not something that I'm taking lightly. I am doing a TON of research trying to figure out what will work best for us on this particular trip. I have not decided what we're doing yet. I am most likely leaving him at home. But, like I said before, I'm not officially making that decision until it comes time to buy airline tickets. I reserve the right to change my mind.

So, grlpwrd, please do not make harsh assumptions about people you don't know. Assumptions sometimes turn out to be incorrect.

Huh?

Did I say it was less "acceptable"? No, I said it isn't the same thing as your situation. I am not making any assumptions at all and I didn't refer to anything else except the fact the situations are different.

Thou dost protest too much, I guess.

Carry on - your child, your life, your choice.

 

[Disneyonmymind]

I couldn't read all of the posts but I see it has generated some emotion. I reread the OP and here's my opinion (if you are even still interested, LOL). A few years back, when our kids (two cousins) were barely 2, we won a trip to WDW to see the NFL quarterback challenge. We went, leaving the two kids with their grandparents. It was not easy as we don't normally even get a sitter to go out for the evening. But, as you said, the kids would have definitely slowed us down. (Sorry, everyone, I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just fact). Normally, we would have been okay with it, but since it was a planned trip, with activities with the quarterbacks, etc., it would have been very difficult to manage with the kids. It was a short trip (4 nights) and they had each other and lots of fun with their grandparents. We told them it was an adult trip and they were too young and they accepted it. My daughter still remembers it, but not with any sort of emotional distress.

After that trip, we all went again WITH THE KIDS when they were just barely 5. This is a wonderful age for Disney. That being said, we now have another DD-barely 2, and I wouldn't dream of going to Disney with the older DD, now 8 and not the younger one. I see it completely differently when it comes to taking one child, but not the other. My older DD wouldn't dream of it either. As much as she enjoys being with me or DH alone, the idea of leaving her baby sister at home would assault her sense of fairness. I believe this was the crux of your question. And, I do tend to slightly agree with those posters who were concerned with the message that it would send to the older child. It seems to devalue the baby, in a way. Sorry, again, this is just my opinion, and it's worth what you're paying for it.

I think that your baby may not slow you down as much as you might think. Your older son, at almost 5, is still kind of young for a lot of things at WDW.
We skipped, or did "baby swap" for all of the scary or intense stuff when our kids were that age. Also, you 'll need to have a stroller for your older DS anyway, even though he never rides in one anymore at home. Disney is not a walk in the park ( ) Sorry, couldn't help it. Also, if you go back to the hotel for a nap, the older DS can have one-on-one time with either you or DH at the pool each afternoon. At age 4-5, the pool time is often just as good as the park time. And the parent who stays with the baby will get a nap too (with no guilt - what could be better?)

Anyway, you will decide what's right for your family. I agree with your thought that, if you decide to leave him, it would be easier on everyone if he was 14-15 months, rather than 18 months. You don't want to hear him wailing, "me too, me too, me too" as you go out the door. It will break your heart.

Good luck to you.

 

[HALEYSMOMMOM]

Wow, I think we have total agreement here! (Between u & me, anyway )

 

[Tiggernut_jadie]

I've skipped through most of the posts so if this has already been said, I apologise.

With regards to whether your son will be affected by you not taking him, I thought I'd just share what happened with my DD. When we first started talking to her about going to WDW last year (when she was 3) we got out the photos of our previous four trips when we were childless. she enjoyed looking at them but one time she got very upset as she wanted to know why we went to see Mickey without her! I pointed out that it was before she was born and she calmed down but refused to look at the photos again!

The point I was trying to make is that she could to some extent understand that we went before she existed - even though it still kind of upset her. In your situation, your youngest child may find it dificult to understand why you didn't take him but took his brother - even though he HAD been born but was left behind with his grandparents!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you may feel comfortable with the decision to go without him now but be aware it may come back to bite you sometime in the future!

Good Luck with your decision!

 

[lovesdumbo]

Last Saturday my now 4 year old DS was looking at photos of a trip his sister & I took when she was 3 1/2 and he was left home with his dad at 21 months. He LOVED looking at the photos and never asked why he wasn't there.

 

[beattyfamily]

Will this 9 page, 134 posts thread ever die? To each their own.

And I believe it's a waste of time as the OP has already stated her opinion and seems to have made up her mind on the matter anyway.

 

[melsc1]

I just got back from a mommy/daughter quick trip (left Friday, came back Sunday) where my 18 month old and my husband stayed behind. The baby has no idea what transpired, and is happy with the Mickey ball I brought back for him. We are taking a family trip in December (including grandparents), so he'll get his chance then.

With this last-minute trip being so short, we discussed all of us going, but since he requires a 3 hour nap (in a crib) every day and doesn't sleep well in strange places (and downright refuses to sleep in Pack and Plays), it would just be best for everyone if we made it a girls only weekend (the trip is a gift to celebrate my & DD's February birthdays). It worked out for us with no issues at all. When he's my dd's age (5), maybe I'll send him & DH down for a similar trip (if that's what they want to do)

What works for one family won't necessarily work for another.

 

[DebIreland]

Beth,
Forgive me if this has already been said.

I'm a little bit concerned about *your* feelings when you get to WDW. Your son will be absolutely fine with your parents, no worries there at all, in fact I'm sure he'll have a ball. And as for being scarred for life!!! LOL! Give me abreak! Not at all!!! Your older child will also have a ball and will certainly enjoy the quality time. So that's that. Except, the thing I'm concerned about is how *you* will feel when you are immersed in the magic - you might immediately think "oh my god, he should be here with us, sharing in this". You might also be constantly thinking about him for the entire trip, calling your parents, wondering what he's doing etc. Like I say, my concern is for you, your son will actually be fine!!! The author of 'Unofficial Guide to WDW" suggest that all families with kids, regardless of their ages, take a 4 hour break in the afternoon for napping and relaxation so baby or not, I think that's good advice.

When my boys were 2.5 and 5 months DH and I went to Paris for 3 days and my mother-in-law looked after the kids. Woohoo!!! We were having a ball. We had no intentions of going to Disneyland Paris but lo and behold, we were all cultured out by Day 3 and spontaneously hopped on the metro to Disneyland, got a ticket, went through the gates, were blown away by the happy, family, magic feeling and suddenly looked at each other and said "oh god, they should be here". We laughed about it a bit too mind you! Cause we were riding roller coasters and eating ice-cream and saying "you're such a crap mom" and "you're such a crap dad" to each other, jokingly!!! But you know what, it nearly killed me looking at the babies in their strollers. Much as we loved the place, we left after 3 hours cause I couldn't stand looking at all the other toddlers and babies. I thought I'd cry when we reached a Pinochio exhibit, knowing how much my 2.5 year old loved Pinochio. And when we got back? They were in great spirits. Had a ball! So no worries there....... But still, I'll never forget that empty feeling of wanting them there to share in the magic. Please know this is not a way of making you feel guilty, on the contrary... you can see I scurried off leaving *two* kids, not one!! It's just a word of caution about *your* feelings, not your kids. Best of luck to you. Hope you have a wonderful trip, whatever you decide. You are clearly a good mom.

 

[strawberryblonde]

I think this could be a positive thing for my older son. He's a great big brother. He's never had any jealousy issues. And I don't think he's ever felt pushed aside for the baby. But, we have had to slow our life down a little for the baby. And he adapts so well. He absolutely loves his little brother. I just think it would be so special for him to have his time away with us. Especially before he starts kindergarten.

This comment touched me as my two kids are also very bonded and close although three years apart in age. I asked my son (7) how he would have liked leaving his sister behind to go to WDW all by himself ( with Mommy and Daddy all to himself) now or back when he was 5. His face clouded and he shook his head that he would not have liked that at all.

Each family is different, of course. I just wonder if your 5 year old would actually enjoy himself more with his sibling along. Just our two cents to throw into the mix......

Best wishes on making your decision and have a wonderful trip whatever you decide

 

[opus_00]

My dad took me to Disney World when I was 7. My little sister was 18 months, and she stayed home with my mom. That was the best decision for my family at the time because my parents couldn't afford airfare and park tickets for all of us, and my mom wasn't too keen on flying anyway. They figured my sister was a little too young to appreciate it, so they decided my dad would take me and then he would take my sister on her own special trip when she was older.

That trip with my dad was one of the best times of my life. Now at age 35, I can still say that that trip is one of my most cherished and vivid memories. I don't remember ever wondering why my baby sister wasn't there. I just remember feeling like the most loved and special little girl in the world being with my dad in the happiest place on earth! My sister did get her own special trip with our dad, too. It didn't come until about 10 years later since money was very tight in our household, but they did get to make their own special memories together, just at a different point in her life. As it turned out, I was actually at Disney World at the same time with my high school dance team. So neither one of us ever had any hard feelings toward the other about being "left behind" for a trip.

Now fast forward to the present...DH and I have two children, ages 4 and 2. We took them on their first trip to WDW a little over a year ago, when they had just turned 3 and 1. We never really considered leaving our 1 yo DD behind, and we didn't have anyone who could keep her anyway. We were pleasantly surprised at how much she enjoyed it and how baby-friendly WDW really was. She didn't slow us down noticeably because our 3 yo slowed us down enough already (lol)! I was amazed at how at such a young age she remembered all of the characters and talked about little else for weeks after the trip.

We just returned from our second Disney trip a few days ago. I do believe DD actually remembered many of the rides she had been on during that first trip because she told us the things she wanted to go on as soon as we arrived. I do not regret for one second taking her on that first trip, nor do I think my parents made the wrong decision in leaving my younger sister behind when I went as a child.

So my point is that you know your children best, and only you can decide whether or not your youngest child will get enough out of WDW to justify taking him. If you have someone who is able to keep the baby during your trip, then I don't think you should feel WRONG for whatever decision you make. Have a great time!

Paula

 

[mom-2greatkids]

Been there, done that (twice) and have never regretted our decision. We go to WDW every January because DH has a conference. In our house, the "rule" is you have to be 2 to go to WDW. When DS was 4.5 months and 16.5 months we left him with his grandparents (my parents for half and DH's parents for half because they both really wanted him) and took DD (who was 3 the first year and 4 the second year). Did we miss him? YES Did we cut the number of days of our trip? YES (we went from 8 days to 6 days) Were we glad he was at home? YES

The way we saw it is that DS would have much rather been spoiled by his grandparents the entire time instead of being confined to his stroller and off of his schedule. Last year DS was 2 so it was our first trip to WDW as a complete family. It was wonderful, but again we were glad we kept him home two years.

BTW--DS loved all the presents and extra attention he got from us when we came back!!!

 

[bopper]

I think many of the people who took their babies to WDW said it was a magical trip. I am sure it was magical for them to see their baby at WDW with the characters and in pictures. That may not be your magic. You may only get that out of seeing your older one interact with the rides and shows and parades.
Also, is this the only time ever you will go? If no, then your little one will have their chance. 5 yrs old is a great time to go...able to appreciate it but still awed by the magic of it all. On the other hand, if you will go again, you could take the little one and just take it easy. I have taken my oldest when she was 9 mo. and 2yrs old...didn't plan the big vacation at these ages, but happened to have trips near WDW and DL at those times, so we took her. I thought it was sweet, but I wouldn't have planned the vacation for HER at that age. It was for ME to see her there.