The World of Frankenpooh: A Spring Break Trip Report. ** NEXT TO LAST CH. 4/27! **

[frankenpooh]

Thanks for your patience, readers. Yesterday was busy at Casa Smith.

First -- I spotted another little continuity problem in my last installment, in which we were at the DTD Marketplace one minute and in Planet Hollywood the next. Just in case that eagle-eyed moderator OhMari is reading, I will correct this. We did have to get from DTD Marketplace to DTD Westside, which we did via our car. Mr. Smith, of course, wanted to walk, but he was outvoted.

Also, I really appreciate the nice comments about my writing. If only good writing could make us a more interesting and amusing family, I’d be set.

Back to the TR at hand: It’s about noon on Monday, March 27. We enter Disney Quest with great anticipation. I’m no expert on virtual reality (I know virtually nothing about it; ha, ha), so I don’t know what to expect from the games. The place is busy but not unreasonably crowded. I think we’ve picked a good time to visit.

Thanks to Tour Guide Mike descriptions, we knew a few attractions we wanted to try. We immediately headed for Pirates of the Caribbean: Battle for Buccaneer Gold. This was obviously a popular one; we waited about 20 minutes. Because we got so many fastpasses and followed TGM’s suggestions for using them – no, he’s not paying me – we waited longer for some things at DQ than at any theme park. While in line for POC, we could watch folks on the Virtual Jungle Cruise. It looked like fun, too. These were both “family” rides in which you all participate together.

Next we headed to the 2nd floor for Cyber Space Mountain. While the guys went to design and ride their own coasters, I conveniently needed a restroom break. I wanted to them to be the guinea pigs for CSM. They exited from the ride and reported it was awesome. The Caveman begged me to ride his next creation with him. Since the Caveman is past the age where he wants to do a lot with his mom, I was a sucker for this. I love roller coasters, anyway, so it seemed a safe choice. However, on CSM you have the opportunity to create a coaster that would not exist in any actual amusement park. They put some constraints on you to acknowledge the laws of physics, but if you want to put 6 inversions in a row on it, you can.

Which is exactly what the Caveman did.

It was actually pretty fun, although both our stomachs needed some time to recover. You can watch (and even buy) a video of yourself riding the ride. We passed on that option.

Next was our absolute favorite – Buzz Lightyear’s Astroblaster, which I’ve seen described as a combination of bumper cars and dodge ball. You ride in a little car, which one person steers while the other shoots “asteroids” at other vehicles. If you get hit, your car spins out of control. We went on it 3 times. I was super motivated to avoid getting hit, because the spinning was not what I needed after that roller coaster.

As promised, there were some classic arcade games. The lever on the Frogger game was broken, so that left my old favorite, Centipede. My kids think I’m fantastic at Centipede, but I’m really not that great. They‘re just terrible; they get killed immediately by that dropping spider. I love being better at a game than they are!

We stayed in the traditional arcade section a while and played various games. It was a hoot to watch Mr. Smith at the virtual boxing game. The “virtual” aspect of it seemed to escape him, and we thought he might actually punch the screen. If you’re a pinball fan (remember pinball, folks?), there were several machines. The NASCAR-themed one I played actually sent 3 balls going at one time.

Speaking of pinball, we move on to the Mighty Ducks Pinball Slam. This game is hard to describe, but, basically, you’re a pinball trying to hit targets and score points. It involves standing on a platform and wiggling around (you see the results on a screen in front of you). The “make a fool of yourself” quotient is high in this game, but that doesn’t stop us from giving our full effort. I’m happy to report I kick butt – I beat all members of my own family, plus a couple of twenty-something guys. I have like 2 million points or something.

We all deemed Disney Quest worth our time. Now it was time to leave and supplement the provisions we brought from home. Here I had made another Disney mistake. I didn’t remember any inexpensive grocery options, and the Unofficial Guide was in the hotel. The only store I could recall was the Goodings at the Crossroads Shopping Center. We may as well have gone to Hess or the resort gift shop. That was one expensive supermarket. We kept our purchases (OJ, yogurt and milk) to a minimum. Okay, I confess, we got some beer, too. But no lunch provisions. Our days of taking sandwiches in the parks are over. Too much trouble without a stroller to hold the cooler.

We’re back at the resort, where in spite of the cool temps, the kids want to swim. Since we don’t have to get in the water with them, it’s okay with DH and me. We head to Ol’ Man Island, which my kids think is hilariously named for some reason. No kidding – they joke about it the entire trip. Because it’s for “old men,” they think it should be the quiet pool. Mr. Smith and I settle in lounge chairs with a drink from the pool bar. Lots of folks are swimming. I have on a long-sleeved shirt and capri pants and have no desire to be wearing any less.

Our dinner ADRs are at the Kona Café at the Polynesian. The Poly is so cool! I have stayed there for a total of 1 night, and that was at age 12. Oh well. Our food at the Kona is very good, and our bill is less than $50 for the 4 of us (yea!). Mr. Smith and I split an order of sticky wings and each have a Kona salad. Get the salad if you’re there. It is fantastic. The Caveman orders sticky wings for his dinner (he could survive off breakfast food and an appetizer menu!). Frank Jr. has a hamburger. I incorrectly reported earlier that he had a burger from the kids’ menu at Planet Hollywood for lunch; it was spaghetti, he has informed me. The only snag occurs when they kids start eyeing the desserts that grace seemingly every table except ours. Dining Plan People! There are giant ice cream sundaes everywhere. They look tempting, but we stay strong and say “no dessert.” We’ve got cookies back in the room.

After the meal, we’re not ready to go back. We look around the Poly stores, then hop on the monorail for a nighttime loop. I love riding the monorail. It brings me right back to my childhood trips when it seemed so futuristic and cool. We disembark at the Contemporary for a little more browsing. Then I see absolutely one of the craziest behaviors I’ve ever seen. A man, woman and their baby get off the “up” escalator and realize they’ve forgotten something. Instead of , say, finding the “down” escalator, she starts trying to go down the "up" escalator. The man almost follows her but apparently has a flash of insight that this might not be the best thing to do, since he’s holding the baby! The wife struggles and stumbles her way down. We move on, because I don’t think I can stand to watch her trip and lose a finger. I hope she made it back and maybe retrieved her brain.

I don’t know – it’s one thing to go up a "down" escalator. It seems like human nature to want to try that. But down the "up" escalator seems like an entirely different ball game to me, like it would be a lot more dangerous.

We make it back to POR, where, I have to admit, we feel a little let down. We had fun today, but it was hard not to be in a theme park so early in the week. Maybe that will make Tuesday that much sweeter – Magic Kingdom day!

Next installment: Action! Rides! Napkin Waving! Watching the Same Parade Twice!

 

[a*lil*bit*goofy]

wow i am really enjoying this! well done!

 

[Ron from Michigan]

I'm enjoying your epors. Keep them comming.

 

[sassyredhead]

Fabulous trip report thus far! We are staying at POR 4/28-5/6. Reading your reports makes the anticipation that much sweeter. Keep 'em coming!

 

[frankenpooh]

Chapter 4 ... In Which Frankenpooh Remembers to Give the Segment a Title. Alternately, ... In Which the Family Eats a Meal Prepared by Mickey

Tuesday, March 28

Our phone rings as scheduled, but there’s not a recorded message on the wake up call. Stitch is a little annoying, but something besides dead silence would have been nice. We move quickly so we’ll be on the first bus to the Magic Kingdom. We make it there (8 a.m.). With both POFQ and POR folks, it’s standing room only. I am so excited to go the MK that I would have volunteered to hang onto a luggage rack. I’m in a good mood this morning; I’m wearing my jaunty new hat I bought Sunday from the gift stand next to Indiana Jones. I’m sure I look like a goofball in it, but some garments just make you feel cheery.

In addition, I have a soft spot for the MK. You must if you:

*ever visited Disney World when the Magic Kingdom was the only park

*remember your own first thrilling ride on Space Mountain

*imagined you were having an exciting adventure, a la Huck and Tom, in those caves on Tom Sawyer Island

*waited in a long line for Dumbo and were rewarded by the expression of pure delight on your child’s face

*bought your 2 year old a set of mouse ears and watched him wear them not only all day in the parks, but also constantly for weeks after the return home

Okay, I’m making myself cry. I haven’t even gotten to the part(s) of this day when I actually did cry.

After our tickets and fingers are scanned, we wiggle our way to the front of the crowd. A personable CM is entertaining everyone, which helps the time pass. They sure never seem to open the parks a minute early. When we’re let in, we book it for Tomorrowland, cutting through the Noodle Station. They’re dropping the rope just as we get to the Tomorrowland entrance. The guys get on Buzz Lightyear while I head to Space Mountain for fastpasses. Then I join them for a 2nd turn on Buzz.

We head for Fantasyland and recklessly decide to ride the teacups since there’s no wait. Winnie the Pooh is already getting a substantial line, so we decide to FP it later. We spend another 5 minutes of our morning riding Snow White’s Scary Adventure. I'm obviously giddy with MK magic, because I don’t normally let us “waste” time on less than spectacular rides. But none of us had ever ridden Snow White. I kept the kids off of it when they were little, and we’ve just had other priorities on our later trips. It’s so-so. We hadn’t missed much.

We skip Peter Pan for the time being and are happy to find the Haunted Mansion has no wait. Although the park is busy, it’s still early enough that we’re getting things done. We wind our way through Frontierland and get FP for Splash Mountain. I hate standing there waiting for 2 minutes to tick by so you’re eligible for a new set of FP. I think we took a bathroom break to kill time, as I was driving everyone crazy sticking our park tickets in the machine repeatedly.

We have an 11:20 ADR for the character breakfast at Chef Mickey’s, so we’re touring with that in mind. Boarding the RR near Splash Mountain, we ride to the Toontown Fair station and walk down what’s called the “secret red path” that takes you from Toontown to Tomorrowland. We’ve known about it for years, but I guess it is pretty secret – we use it several times on this trip and never see anyone else on it.

We use our Space Mountain fastpasses. Note to self: Don’t wear a little skirt if you’re going to go on this ride. I forgot how you sit in that thing. I press my knees together as best I can and enjoy hurtling around in the dark. “Hurtling” really is a good descriptor for that coaster. I love that it continues to draw the crowds after so many years, even if it doesn’t seem quite so futuristic anymore.

Time to hightail it to the Contemporary for “breakfast.” This is our 4th trip to Disney World and, believe it or not, our very first character meal. We have saved it for when we have to pay adult prices for all of us with no Dining Plan. We’re geniuses!

Actually, we had our reasons for not doing this before: Trip 1 (1998) was quite short and a total budget trip (thank you, Mousesavers!). During Trip 2 (2002), we took advantage of deep discounts and stayed at the Wilderness Lodge, but we still didn’t have extra money to burn. Trip 2 (fall 2004) was just too short – 3 days in the parks. Our current trip was our longest stay ever. And we chose the cheapest character meal offered, using it as lunch rather than breakfast (again, thanks, Mousesavers!)

Any guesses as to how we got to the Contemporary? Yep, we walked.

The skinny on Chef Mickey’s: You check in, you get a beeper and you head to get a souvenir picture taken by a Disney photographer. Ours doesn’t have a ton of personality and wastes some time trying to get the Caveman to look more enthusiastic. I finally tell her, “He’s a teenager. That’s how he looks.” Next we can greet Minnie, who is the “hostess” for the meal. I make the kids pose with her. Character photo ops are few and far between for us these days. After snapping a picture, we sit and watch adorable little ones pose with Minnie until we’re called to our table. Watching these happy little faces – to my horror, I start to cry. Pull yourself together, Frankenpooh! Suddenly the floor looks very interesting. Aaack, not the floor. If I look down, a tear might drip. I stare at the wall instead. My family wonders why my back is to them. Finally, the Caveman catches a look at my face and announces, “Mom is wishing that we were little again like that boy.”

No, no, no! (Well, a little bit yes. But I try not to act like it. I don’t want them emotionally stunted or anything). This problem predates my having children of my own. Children and animals just make me cry. I can’t help it. Joyful children, sad children, children behaving in extremely cute ways or making their parents proud ... I just melt. I worried that I would be a total wreck if I had kids, sobbing at every soccer game or band concert. Thank goodness I’ve always had some immunity to the charms of the Caveman and Frank Jr.

Don’t even get me started on animals. I will not see a movie in which they figure prominently. If I cry like a baby during the commercial for it, I know to stay away.

Back to Chef Mickey’s, where I’m saved by the vibrating beeper. We’re hungry and we’re big fans of breakfast food. In short, we’re in heaven. The food is good and the atmosphere fun. Every once in a while, music plays, the characters dance around, and everyone waves napkins. It looks just as silly as it sounds, but we all do it. In between music segments, Chip, Dale, Goofy and Mickey make their way around the tables. The Caveman gives Dale some M&Ms, which he pockets. Oh, you didn’t know that M&Ms were a breakfast food?

During the meal, a CM brings us a package – it’s copies of the photo we had taken, which we may purchase for $26.95. This is the kind of thing I never do. I mean never. Usually, I would think, “We’ve got some perfectly good pictures taken with our own camera.” But I love this picture. It’s a really good picture. Specifically, I’m thinking it’s a really good picture of ME. I mean, the others look fine, but they usually look fine in pictures. To see a decent shot of myself, that is worth way more than $26.95. And it’s not that I look that fabulous. I’m not a great beauty, I look my age, every day’s a bad hair day. It’s just that this picture really looks like me, happy me, with the people I love the most in the place I love the most.

Now I’m making myself tear up again. In short, we buy the picture.

Next installment: Frankenpooh’s family actually stays up late!

 

[horsegirl]

Awww Frankie- or Frankenpooh- how sweet are you?! Your Tr is great and I so get weeping at the wee ones and the furry ones. Babe, Milo and Otis, Bambi, Dumbo- I cry at all of them!

Great idea going to the character breakfast so late- more like lunch only less bucks, or points or whatever.

thanks for sharing your trip with us!

 

[fizz13]

well I'm having a great time reading your tripppie, really good storytelling skills, can't wait to read more,
Claire xx

 

[sheridac]

Finally, the Caveman catches a look at my face and announces, “Mom is wishing that we were little again like that boy.”

No, no, no! (Well, a little bit yes. But I try not to act like it. I don’t want them emotionally stunted or anything). This problem predates my having children of my own. Children and animals just make me cry. I can’t help it. Joyful children, sad children, children behaving in extremely cute ways or making their parents proud ... I just melt. I worried that I would be a total wreck if I had kids, sobbing at every soccer game or band concert. Thank goodness I’ve always had some immunity to the charms of the Caveman and Frank Jr.

Frankie - just wait till their high school graduation! Lovin your report.

 

[frankenpooh]

Chapter 5 ... In Which the Family is Bedeviled by the Parade but Gets Its “Wish” Granted, Anyway

I edit and edit these things, but I keep catching mistakes after the fact. Technically this should be Chapter 6, since I forgot to give the installment before last both a title and a chapter. Whatever. I’m sure y’all aren’t exactly losing sleep over it.

Also, I really do appreciate anyone taking the time to read this. I know I've seen a little bit of my family's experiences in other people's trip reports, and I'm happy to think other folks might identify with the fun times we've had.

Here we are, after lunch on Tuesday, March 28. We waddle our full selves back over to the MK. We pick up a FP for Big Thunder Mountain, then use the ones we have for Splash Mountain. By this time, the area is very congested, and there’s a long line at the FP Return. I realize it’s mostly people standing around waiting for their return times. Bad idea! A CM waves us through a whole bunch of folks who don’t look too pleased.

Splash Mountain has been soaking people today. I’ve seen a lot of wet backsides. I hope I don’t get it too bad, because my jean skirt will take a while to dry. I ask the nice family seated in front of us to absorb all the water, please. They oblige by taking the brunt of it. See, people at Disney are so nice!

Since we can’t ride Pirates (boo hoo!), we look around the gift shop. Many different styles of black t-shirts are available. I can’t say that I like them. Too hot in the summertime in the South. Plus, we’re so fair-skinned, we look like zombies in black.

We continue our run of good luck with shows, walking into the Tiki Birds right before it starts. Because the weather is still relatively cool (a high of 78 today), the A/C does not seem cranked up in any of the attractions. I realize that I associate certain Disney rides and shows with cold air. Most of my trips have been in the summer. The Tiki Birds room feels strangely muggy to me today.

We’ve got a few more things planned before we leave for a rest period – we’ll ride Peter Pan and BTMRR, then get Jungle Cruise fastpasses to use tonight. The plan almost works. After we finish BTM, my eyes widen as I realize the reason the area is even more crowded now – the Share a Dream Come True parade. Profanity MAY escape my lips. We have kept track of neither the time nor the parade route. We’re near the starting point; a nice CM tells us to wait about 8 minutes and we’ll be able to get through. Eight minutes, my foot. What else can we do? We watch the parade and take a few pictures. It’s fine. As previously mentioned, we’re not big parade watchers, and we’ve already seen one on this trip.

Here's a pic, just to prove that what I'm writing is true. And also to test that I can actually download (or is it upload?) them.

When the last float floats by, we head toward Main Street, picking up those Jungle Cruise FP on the way. Now you eagle-eyed DISers may see the problem we’re going to have. We’ll be just in time for the parade to finish up near the MK entrance. Yes, we arrive at the same time as the early floats and get to watch it all again.

I knew one thing at that point – we wouldn’t be watching Spectromagic that evening.

We catch the bus back to POR, where I make a stop at the food court to pick up a taco salad for Frank Jr’s dinner. We are under the impression that they stop selling them at 5 p.m. I have looked back at the menu on All Ears, and it looks like the food court offers the same items for lunch and dinner. But I could swear that was not the case on our trip. Either that or I made a silly, unnecessary detour. You be the judge.

We are treated to a small bit of mousekeeping magic:

[/IMG]

That's my Winnie-the-Pooh I've had since age 4 at the front. He's working his charms on the mousekeepers. Or maybe the cute little envelopes I’ve printed out for tips are having an effect. They have a picture from Pooh Print Studio and say, “To: Mousekeeping. From: Pooh and friends. Thank you!” Yes, I am insane.

We rest until 6, then haul a picnic down to the food court. Frank Jr. has his taco salad, and I’m toting leftover sticky wings from last night’s dinner at Kona. We let the Caveman have a croissant and chocolate milk for his dinner. God, we’re slack. Mr. Smith has something from the food court; once again, I can’t remember what it was. Who knew you had to take such detailed notes for these trip reports?!

We take our car for the return trip to the MK, for reasons which will be explained later. We enter the park and use fastpasses old and new. The Jungle Cruise, which holds little appeal for me anymore, is pretty fun at night. The Caveman and Mr. Smith choose to ride Stitch; I’ve read too many poor reviews. Frank Jr. and I take our more refined tastes to the Tomorrowland Transit Authority. We have a pleasant tour. I use the time to organize my messenger bag a bit, which I will come to regret shortly.

The family meets up again, and our FP window is open. I’m off to get a set for Winnie the Pooh. I can guarantee you that I don’t voluntarily go zipping around like this at home. My short legs can fly at Disney World. That’s why I think I could walk the WDW half-marathon, piece of cake, at the required 16-minute a mile pace. Only the WDW half-marathon, though. I plan on using this as an excuse, er, “reason,” for a future trip. Shhh ... can’t let Mr. Smith know.

When I get to Fantasyland, I realize my biggest Disney mistake yet. I’ve lost Mr. Smith’s park pass. It has 5 days and 4 water park and more options remaining on it. Uh oh. I know we’ll get it straightened out (I actually have a copies of our passes in the hotel room), but ... I’m sure I’ll at least have to give up my spot on WTP as punishment. I have a stroke of good luck, though – an unused FP is sitting on top of one of the machines. I look around to see if it belongs to anyone (really!), and finding no takers, keep it.

We ignore our missing pass for a while. During the parade, we stay safely out of the way, riding Buzz, doing some shopping and using the WTP fastpasses.

We could get Mr. Smith’s pass replaced tomorrow, but we decide to try to take care of it on the way out. He’s got his picture ID and his two fingers with him. We go to Guest Services inside the park. The CM pulls up our four pass numbers on the computer, but she can’t tell which one is Mr. Smiths (“Uh, the one that’s not one of the three I’m holding right here.”). I remember the old DIS adage, “If you don’t like what the first CM tells you, try, try another one.” We exit the park and go to Guest Services right outside the gate. Pass reissued, no problem, in less than 5 minutes. He doesn’t have to show his ID or his fingers. I guess they figure if he’s not the right person, he won’t get past the finger scan tomorrow.

Time for my fireworks plan. Don’t you ever read a tip somewhere that you just have to try? Well, this idea came from the Unofficial Guide. We would attempt to watch Wishes from the ferryboat as it crossed the lagoon to the TTC. The book gave us a 50-50 chance of timing it right. We were up for the challenge. As it worked out, we saw the last half of the fireworks from the upper deck of the boat. Honestly, maybe it was the last third. It was impossible to time it just right, but to see the finale of Wishes from that vantage point was awesome.

Four tired, happy folks ride back to our room at POR. It’s been one of those days that seems more than one day long, but in a good way. Know what I mean?

Coming up tomorrow: Soren Kierkegaard at Epcot? Mr. Smith wonders about the new Danish ride. And we get the best towel creation EVER!

 

[fizz13]

Now theres a good DISer not taking the first answer given, proud of you girl And really, if you have to see a parade twice, it should have been Spectro, not Share A Dream, that has lost its sparkle for me too. Another great day, need more please,
Claire xx

 

[frankenpooh]

Hey, Claire, I just checked out your web page. Cool! I have bookmarked it and will look more when I have time. I did spot that you are a Sophie Kinsella reader. Kindred spirit!

You are right about Share A Dream -- I really DID want to see Spectro., but we were paraded-out by the evening.

Thanks for reading my TR!

Frankie

 

[frankenpooh]

Chapter 6 ... In Which Mr. Smith is Confused, and the Caveman Gets a Headache

Wednesday, March 29. We all sleep in until 8 a.m. The End.

Oh, I thought that miraculous occurrence meant I was done. We’re usually early birds.

Despite our relatively late start, we manage to stroll (okay, I’m sure we don’t stroll) through the gates of Epcot around 9:20. On the way in, Mr. Smith asks me what EPCOT stands for, and I must take on that little DIS tone of superiority when I tell him, “It used to stand for Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow but it’s no longer an acronym. It’s just Epcot.” He needles me the rest of the day by asking, “What does EPCOT stand for, again?” the rest of the day. But don’t worry, I’ll soon have some ammunition for teasing him right back.

We grab FP for Test Track, then head for Mission Space, which has a very short wait. I think all the warning signs scare a lot of people away. They are making me a bit nervous, and I’ve ridden this ride before!

While in line for MS, I decide I’d better use the restroom. The guys razz me mercilessly. But the mission will have to go on somehow with no pilot (I hope they don’t crash!). I can’t possibly make it to Mars and back with a full bladder. Seriously, I’m concerned about those g-forces.

I meet back up with my family, and the MS line is still < 10 minutes. I ride, too, this time, and we send some silly emails from whatever that area you exit into is called (the Command Center, maybe?). I love the scene that shows you climbing out of the lunar module and tripping. That would SO be me.

We’re eligible for more fastpasses, so I suggest we head over to get some for Soarin’. Now Mr. Smith has heard about this new ride, but he wonders why we’re walking over to the Land. “Isn’t it in the World Showcase?” “No, why would it be in the World Showcase? Plus, that area doesn’t open until 11 a.m.” I just had to stick in that little know-it-all part about the opening time, of course.

Please excuse the little smilie that pops up in this dialogue:

Mr. Smith: “What’s the name of the ride again?”
Franken “Soarin’.”
Mr. Smith: “Soren?”
Franken “Soarin’.”
Mr. Smith: “How do you spell it?”
Franken “S O A R I N ....G, but they leave off the G.” It’s like you’re riding in a hang glider over California.
Mr. Smith: “OH, I thought it was S O R E N, like the name Soren, like it had something to do with Denmark.

Isn’t that what would pop into your head?

Franken “Soren, like Soren Kierkegaard?”
Mr. Smith: “Who’s Kierkegaard?”

Now, are there any other famous people named Soren? I realize Kierkegaard isn’t exactly a household name unless you go to a liberal arts college or have a penchant for masochism. It’s just that I sure can’t think of anyone else named Soren.

I had one course in which we studied Kierkegaard, and I swear I did not understand one thing I read all semester. It was a seminar course, too, and we were graded on participation. Everyone would pipe up with random, deep-sounding comments because none of us had a clue what Soren’s point was.

Well, this all enters my mind as I’m standing there in Epcot, trying to picture what kind of ride would be called “Soren.” A little too freaky for Disney, I’m thinking.

I still crack up laughing thinking about “Soren.” Only my DH.

You know it’s Maelstrom’s fault, though. Here’s this strangely-named Norway ride; Denmark, though not represented in Epcot, is just across the North Sea.

We finally reach Soren about 10:15, where we get FP with a 1:30-2:30 return time. We make the 10:30 Honey I Shrunk the Kids, which is sponsored, if you didn’t know, by Kodak. Now I wouldn’t mind the lengthy commercial preshow if it weren’t for the segment in which the boy looks for his lost dog. Is that really necessary? If that doesn’t make you cry, something must be wrong with you. I came away from it angry at Kodak for manipulating my emotions. Take that, Kodak. I buy a lot of Fugi film, anyway.

After riding Test Track, it really is time to enter the World Showcase. I must post this photo in case any Maelstromers are following along:

Yes, a 5-minute wait at noon. It was actually a zero-minute wait, but I guess they’d look kind of silly putting that on the board of a fastpass ride, huh?

Time to shop a little and find some lunch, arguably the best part of being in Epcot. The Caveman and Mr. Smith choose Germany, the Caveman for the pretzels and Mr. Smith for the lager.

The Caveman and Mr. Smith. Wasn’t that a sitcom? I digress.

I’d like a beer myself, but since I’m not a fan of German beer, I wait. I’m half German, but I just can’t stand any of those beers that get an orange slice on the glass. I don’t think I can make it all the way to Great Britain for my favorite, Bass Ale. Frank Jr. and I are really hungry by the time we get to Japan, so we pop in the counter service place there. For once, I note what we eat! We split the Shogun Platter, which is a combination of teriyaki chicken and sukiyaki beef. I have a Kirin on draft, which I like. Not as much as Bass, but it hits the spot.

The Caveman and Mr. Smith are pulling ahead of us, since we can’t exactly cart our Shogun Platter around the park. We keep our shopping brief so we can catch up with them. In France, though, Frank Jr. amuses me by heading straight for the berets. He flies over there like he’s been looking for them all his life. Now I’ve not spotted a lot of beret-wearing boys in our part of North Carolina, but ... okay. It’s his head and his money. And he really does look cute in it. I call Mr. Smith on the cell phone and warn him if I hear one bit of teasing from the Caveman or him .....

It turns out the Caveman and Mr. Smith were just trying on berets themselves and had considered buying them. Who knew I had such Francophiles in the family?

We finish what was really a quick loop around the World Showcase. It’s time to ride Soren. We love it. For some reason, it also makes me teary, even thought there are no children or lost dogs. I guess beautiful scenery has an effect on me, too.

Now we’re going back to the hotel for a break. We’ll return to Epcot for dinner at the Rose and Crown. I’ll get my Bass Ale then!

Here’s what awaited us back at POR:

It must be the greatest towel scene of all time. Or at least in my very limited experience. I must have said, “Isn’t that the cutest thing, ever?” about 50 times. You can also see my beautiful flowers in the background.

I told the Caveman I didn’t know how he was going to sleep without messing up the towel slide. When he glared at me, I happened to notice he wasn’t looking so well. He was getting a BAD headache. He took some Motrin, crawled into bed and slept. And slept. And slept. He’d wake up periodically, and his head was still hurting. I guess it was his first (and hopefully his last) migraine.

Plans would need to be changed. First, Mr. Smith had noticed they sold pizza at the Hess Station. Do you see that his mind works a little differently than most? In this case, it’s coming in handy. I send him off for dinner. He returns with 2 large pizzas, some OJ and Bud Light. I believe the total was $18 (the pizzas, believe it or not, were about $6 apiece). Mr. Smith can find a deal! It was pretty good Godfather’s pizza, too.

The Caveman wakes up to eat but still doesn’t feel well. I volunteer to stay with him while Mr. Smith and Frank Jr. play miniature golf at Fantasia Gardens. I fill out a few postcards, make notes on the trip and try to plan our remaining 2 days. I also do some channel surfing. I’ve tried to keep the TV on the resort channel, Disney Channel or Toon Disney most of the time. It just adds to the mood. But now I find SoapNet and watch an ancient episode of Beverly Hills 90210. For those of you who are fans, it was one in which Brenda and Kelly went skydiving and Brandon dated a girl with a baby.

The Caveman woke up feeling better, Mr. Smith and Frank Jr. returned, and we watched more television (Deal or No Deal!). It wasn’t the most exciting night, but what can you do? Some days you do everything you plan to and more, and some days don’t work out like you hope. Mr. Patient and Flexible’s family was pretty patient and flexible on this day, too. I was proud of us. And hopeful that we’d be ready for our next day’s tour – Animal Kingdom!

 

[Beana9802]

I am glad to hear about someone else who cries at everything. When I was a freshman in college, I cried at my first home basketball game. And now, as a teacher, and friend of our district's football coach, I cry at the first home game of the season. I think I see how much work these kids put into training and all..and the emotion just overwhelmes me. I have to also add that I cry every time I walk into the Magic Kingdom and walk past the partners statue (The Man and The Mouse). Sheesh!

Great TR!

 

[jamal]

Frankie, Great TR! I'm still with ya! The Soren Kierkegard bit is hysterical. I love the idea of the imagineers deciding to do a ride in his honor

The towel animal slide is fantastic! I've never seen such a thing! In fact, we've rarely had towel/animal displays at all but that's another topic. Tha's terrific, and your flowers frame it sooo well !

 

[frankenpooh]

Chapter 7 ... In Which Frankenpooh Is In a Thotful Mood

Happy Easter, everyone! Forgive me if this segment doesn't cover too much ground. I'm trying to watch Desperate Housewives while I finish it.

Also, I realize that finishing the TR will mean that I have no excuse to sit around thinking about our trip so much. I'd like to drag it out a little bit more.

Wednesday evening had me taking stock of what we’d done so far and what else we wanted to accomplish on this trip. It was the well-known Disneyfreude (we’ll soon by paying royalties to lawyer Zzub for using this term), that melancholy, introspective feeling that can only be conquered by mentally planning your NEXT trip while you’re still at Disney.

For the rest of this trip – I knew what we were not expecting to accomplish. EVERYTHING. I have a Disney pet peeve about people who think they can take one trip in their lives and do everything. Number One: It’s impossible. Number Two: Why would you only want to go once? Now, I don’t mean to be insensitive to the economics of it. It’s an expensive vacation, and we’re blessed to be able to go at all. But you know who I mean – people whose attitude is, “We just want to get this trip out of the way because our children want to go.”

For example: While getting my hair cut last week, the client following me came in, and it turned out she had also been to Florida for her kids’ spring break. “Where were you in Florida?” “We went to Disney World.” “Oh, I hate that place.” I was struck dumb, because .... You hate Disney World? How can you hate Disney World? Not to mention how rude that was. Can you imagine – someone tells you she went to Paris or London or anywhere else, for that matter, and saying, “Oh, I hate that place?”

Isn’t there some famous quote, “We hate what we don’t understand?” I’ll have to ask Mr. Smith. Maybe it was Kierkegaard!

My other Disney pet peeve involves people referring to Disney World when they mean the Magic Kingdom in particular. As in, “Where else are you going besides Disney World? Are you going to Epcot?” I was asked some variation of this question several times before our trip. I was pretty proud of myself for biting my lip in response. People don’t like to be corrected. I know this from experience.

Enough of the asides. While enjoying the exploits of Brandon, Brenda, et al. Wednesday evening (see earlier installment), I did a little comparison of our planned and actual touring. It didn’t look too bad:

The Plan

Sun. MGM
Mon. BB
Tues. MK
Wed. MGM/hop to EP
Thurs. EP

The Actual

Sun. MGM
Mon. DTD, DQ
Tues. MK
Wed. EP
Thurs. ???

With the exception of the weather-related change of our water park plans on Monday, we were actually running ahead of schedule. That commando touring of MGM on Sunday was awesome.

Of course, this omits the numerous ADRs we missed or changed. How do people do it? That can be my mission for our next trip. Figure out how to estimate where we’re going to be and what we’re going to want to do at mealtime with a little more accuracy. Either that or start planning our park touring around our meals. Nah ... I don’t like that and neither does my new boyfriend Tour Guide Mike.

Thursday, Thursday. What to do? Morning EMH at the MK is tempting. I’ve been reading the Unofficial Guide long enough to remember when the books recommended EMH. These days, the guides say stay away, but a lot of DISers still seem to take advantage of the early hours. And I need some more time at the Magic Kingdom. Nope – the books win. The MK can wait until Friday.

Animal Kingdom gets an okay on Thursday from Tour Guide Mike and Mr. Sehlinger, and we need to spend some time at this park, too. We’ve only spent about ½ day at AK, and that was in 2002. We left it out of our most recent trip (2004), because we only had 3 days in the parks.

Here is what I learned in 2002 in the AK. Bring the ponchos! Bring the ponchos! Bring the ponchos!

What happened in 2002, you ask? It was a lovely Saturday morning in the Animal Kingdom. We rode the Safari and saw numerous animals. We marveled at the Lion King show. We shopped, and we ate. It was a hot June day, so we weren’t fazed when a soft shower of rain began to fall. It felt nice and cool. Instead of fetching our ponchos from the car while we had the chance, we headed to Dinoland, figuring the rain would pass by quickly. Frankenpooh and the Caveman got on the Primeval Whirl, thinking, “This is kind of fun, riding a roller coaster in the rain.” Fools. The rain got heavier. The roller coaster stopped. Our little car was so close to the end of the ride. We probably could have wiggled under the safety bar, but everyone was told to stay put. I’m a rule follower, so what can I say? We sat there until escorted out by a Cast Member. We were the last ones off the ride. I have never been so soaked in my life. I don’t get that wet when I take a shower. There was nothing to do after that experience but depart with the little dignity we had left.

In preparation for Thursday, March 30, 2006 at the Animal Kingdom, I peek at the Weather Channel. No rain in the forecast. We’re taking the ponchos, anyway.

Next installment: Frankenpooh sort of cuts in line, but karma gets her revenge!

 

[nicolemarie]

Well, I know you didn't need those ponchos at AK on Thursday - it was hot and REALLY sunny! It's cool that we were both there that day!

Loving your report - it's fun to see a perspective from someone who travelled the same time as you.

Have a great day!

 

[frankenpooh]

Chapter 8 ... In Which Frankenpooh Exhibits Antisocial Behavior, and Mr. Smith Wrangles with a Fastpass Machine

News Flash: The Visa bill from our trip just arrived (yikes!), and the cost of the flowers Mr. Smith sent me was $62.50. That is definitely less than I would have predicted. The picture I posted really didn’t do them justice; I would have guessed $100 for that bouquet. Just another reason to recommend the Disney Florist.

Thursday, March 30

We get the usual 7 a.m. wake up call. Will it be dead silence again? No, finally, Stitch and Mickey are back. We all pass the phone around to listen, like the dorks that we are.

We drive to the Animal Kingdom and amuse ourselves on the way by trying to imagine various members of Mr. Smith’s family at Disney. That’s right – my DH is the only member of his immediate family who has been to DW. Something is wrong with that. How could I marry into this group? I must have spotted potential, because dear Mr. Smith is now on his fifth trip.

Mr. Smith sealed his fate with me by giving me a Mickey Mouse watch for my birthday/college graduation when we were dating. This signaled 1) a heartwarming appreciation of my childlike enthusiasm regarding Disney and 2) a disturbing tendency to give “combination” gifts (you know, for more than one occasion at a time). It was those lovely, early months of dating so I ignored the latter. With my birthday, Mother’s Day and our anniversary all in the same month, however, it had to be nipped in the bud eventually.

We arrive at the AK parking lot and I lament what looks like a lot of cars arriving. “They” are supposed to be at other parks today. Tour Guide Mike users will be familiar with “them.” And with this little symbol :>) . Man, that goofy “ :>)” gets on my nerves after a while. Funny that dancing bananas, etc, don’t bother me on the DIS. Get some real smilies, TGM!

I wish we could combine the acerbic wit of the Unofficial Guide with TGM’s tips. That would be a guide I’d buy. Of course, I’ve paid for the other guides anyway, so I’m not sure what my point is ...

When we get to the AK entrance, the turnstiles are not yet open. There are long, long lines at the turnstiles. Readers who freak out over line jumping, stop here.

I don’t know what comes over me. I am generally a rule follower. I really am. I always return my shopping cart to a designated area. I don’t walk on the grass. I would never even consider trying to get more than one paint brush at Tom Sawyer’s Island.

But there has to be a way around these lines. I decide to investigate the left. This isn’t the usual far left line we DISers like to frequent. This is the far, far, far left. There is a sign for the Disney Cruise Line check in area. Nothing wrong with asking Mr. Smith and the kids to stay put while I go over there. I might pick up a brochure or something.

Okay, this might work. We can mill around in this area until the turnstiles open, then merge into a line. It sounds bad, I know. But it sure makes sense at the time. I fetch my family. Mr. Smith is a little taken aback by my plan, but he’s stuck now.

When the turnstiles do open, we join a line uneventfully, mercifully spared from a lightning strike.

Now we wait with the crowd for the characters to arrive and the rope to drop. This part is always boring.

We veer right and walk briskly toward Expedition Everest (see, I really do follow most rules). About half the crowd goes left, either heading for the safaris or already lost. There’s a lot of “oohing” and “aahing” in general as people approach EE. Mr. Smith and the boys get in the standby line, where I will join them in a second after I grab some fastpasses. Here’s the deal: the standby line moves quickly, while the FP line does not. I’ve never seen a FP area so mobbed. The CM is actually telling people to send only 1 member of their parties to get the FP. The party represented in front of me is clearly listening – the man gets 12 fastpasses. Yes, 12.

Jamal, was that your group?

At least the guy is pretty efficient about it. You know how some folks are slow as molasses at the machines.

After receiving my karmic punishment for cutting in line earlier, I join my guys, who have let approximately 100 people pass them in the standby line while waiting for me. Aren’t they nice? I’m sure they could have ridden the coaster already.

Anyway, the line is still moving fast, and within 10 minutes we’re all on Everest. The ride is so much FUN. I just have to put that in all caps. Really, our whole carload of people claps at the end of the ride. Isn’t that awesome? To have so much fun on a ride that you applaud? It’s like clapping at the end of a sermon in my Presbyterian Church. Not a frequent occurrence.

We ride again, using the standby line (20 minute wait), while Mr. Smith runs to get FP for the Safari. He’s not a big roller coaster fan, so this is not such a sacrifice for him. After he returns, we all use our FP and ride Everest one more time.

Walking down through Dinoland, we go straight to Dinosaur, which we’ve not ridden before. I know opinions vary, but I think reports of its scariness are greatly exaggerated. We all like it; the guys ride it again, and I take advantage of our now-open FP window to get a set for Kali River Rapids.

Time for the Safari. By now, it’s nearing lunch time on a warm, sunny day (high of 82, thank you very much). We had been advised by one of my sources that it wasn’t as important as you’d think to get to the Safari early. Unless it’s an extremely hot day, there should still be plenty of animals to see even in the afternoon. Well ... not really. In our case, there just isn’t a whole lot of action. Plus our CM is less than enthusiastic. While stopped, we can hear the guide in the jeep behind ours telling jokes. Ours is a by-the-script-only kind of guy.

But at least we got on the Safari. I forgot to mention the little glitch with the FP Mr. Smith had picked up for us. When we pull them out, we realize that only 2 of 4 are valid fastpasses. “The machines were messing up,” protests Mr. Smith. It’s pretty clear to me, however, that my DH has put 2 park passes in the machine twice instead of all 4 park passes. Just picturing him fumbling around at the machine makes me feel sorry for the person behind him in line.

The CM is nice enough to let us all in the FP return, thus allowing us to avoid a rock-paper-scissors contest to determine who gets to ride.

Our lunch is going to be late on this day – 2:30 at the Rainforest Café. The guys go to get snacks, and I continue to work those fastpass opportunities by getting another set for Kali. We’ve not ridden it before, and I’m anticipating that we’ll want to go more than once.

We meet up to wait for Festival of the Lion King. The most adorable family ever is in front of us in line. They have three small children who are entertaining each other (and everyone else) by spraying one of those little fans that mists. It’s pretty hot in the sun, so we’re all happy to get wet. Parents who are able to get children aged 1, 3 and 5 to share one fan between them with no bloodshed deserve a medal.

We love the Lion King. My favorite part is watching the monkeys pretend to pick bugs off themselves and scratch their fannies. Yes, I am the mother of boys. I swear, I was the girliest little girl. Dolls, piano lessons, pink – you name it. Now I couldn’t care less about princesses. The Caveman and Frank Jr. have ruined me.

Time for a quick trip to It’s Tough to Be a Bug before lunch. The show is so cute and funny!

I’m thinking the Rainforest Café probably won’t be too busy because we’re eating so late – wrong! Quite a few folks are waiting to be seated. Maybe most of them don’t have ADRs, though, because we’re seated after about 15 minutes. We continue our healthful eating by ordering mostly appetizers.

This late lunch strategy is something I’d do again. It is a nice mid-afternoon break. Since the Rainforest Café isn’t known for its speedy service, it isn’t too short a break, either.

We head for Kali after lunch, pausing to pull out the ponchos, like the dorks that we are. The Caveman can’t quite decide if he wants to look as ridiculous as the rest of us do. I remind him that he may as well, since he’s got to be seen with us, anyway. My take on Kali – overrated! I don’t think anything distinguishes it from similar rides at other theme parks. Except maybe that it is imagineered so a good quantity of water can go down your back even when you’re wearing a poncho. That takes some kind of physics, I suppose.

Well, Mr. Smith and Frank Jr. love Kali, so they go again. And again. The Caveman and I pass the time with a commando tour of the Maharaja Jungle Trek. Really – we are so used to walking fast that we barely pause to look at anything. I’m pretty sure we’re not enjoying the attraction as it’s meant to be experienced.

When we meet up, we have to see the bug show again. I much prefer it to Honey, I Shrunk the Audience because 1) no preshow that will make me cry and 2) no mice.

We leave the park around 5, very satisfied with our AK day. Our dinner consists of leftover pizza and snack food in the room. Some of the pizza has been stored a little too high in the tiny fridge, so it’s frozen. Yuck!

About 7 p.m., the kids want to go for a swim, so we head for a so-called quiet pool near our building. We’ve heard people swimming and playing every time we’ve walked by it, day or night. On this occasion, the Caveman and Frank Jr. are the only ones in the pool. They amuse themselves by playing Crocodile Hunter, where one of them is the croc and one is the hunter. Of course, this could also be known as, “wrestling in the pool,” but they know it goes over better with Mom when it has a theme. The kids swim and have fun and really aren’t that loud. They can be a lot louder, that’s for sure.

Well, a friendly woman whose room I assume is nearby strikes up a conversation with me. The gist of the conversation seems to be, “I wonder what time the pool closes, because I don’t want to hear your noisy children all night.” The second part there is implied. I’m all innocence, because I really have no idea if the pools have a specific closing time. Her point gets across, however, because we don’t stay too much longer. I’ve already broken a rule today.

For future reference, does anyone know what the pool hours are? I never did find out.

Another exciting evening with the Smiths (just like at home!). We turn in about 10, as usual. Next installment: Last day in the parks. Boo Hoo!

 

[fizz13]

Another great installment as always, will be sad when its over,
Claire xx

 

[hucifer]

You're a great writer! It reads as though the words just flow from you.

No idea about the pool closing...I thought YOU were the master planner of this trip??? No boat schedule, no pool schedule? Why didn't you ask your new boyfriend, TGM?

Keep up the wonderful writing!

Here's a dancing banana for you:

 

[frankenpooh]

You're a great writer! It reads as though the words just flow from you.

Hucifer, that's so nice!

As to my planning shortcomings, refer back to the first installment in which I introduce myself as well-meaning, but slack.

I'd like to be an uber-planner, but I can't quite pull it off!