The Thanksgiving Letter-- can you imagine??

MomNeedsVacay

<font color=red>was my mom just weird?
Joined
Mar 9, 2007
Messages
1,959
I'm cutting and pasting this from Awkwardfamilyphotos.com because it is too funny!! This is an actual letter that was sent out before Thanksgiving last year...can you imagine?!! ha!


From: Marney

As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.


HJB—Dinner wine


The Mike Byron Family
1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.


The Bob Byron Family
1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).


The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family
1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).


The Michelle Bobble Family
1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife


The June Davis Family
1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay


The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)
1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.

Looking forward to the 28th!!


Marney
 
Please tell me this is from Snopes.com or something. No one could really send out a letter like that, right?

RIGHT?!?! :scared1:
 
Wow, she wouldn't like me I would show up with something completely different just to irk her. I would definitely be bringing a soup spoon and the oversized blue serving dish. :rolleyes1
 
The thing I don't understand is the pie knives (aside from the general craziness). The last family is specifically told to bring no knives, yet she asks an earlier non-pie family to bring a pie knife... Where are her pie knives? and her serving spoons for that matter? and why does everybody bring their own serving utensil, except for the pie people?
 

I think I'd contact all my siblings and agree that we were going to stare at her blankly and say 'what letter?'
 
I know.. I would be so nervous to bring the wrong thing to this family dinner. What's a regulation sized casserole dish anyway!?! :rotfl:
 
/
I also love how Amy Misto family part..."why do I bother she will never read this..." ha!! :woohoo:
 
I would send a letter back and tell her to kiss my a**, stay home and eat cereal.
 
I can only imagine this letter was serious if they were doing a photo shoot of a Thanksgiving dinner, not a real meal. I know it's meant to be funny, but the tone is very insulting and demeaning.
 
I think all those on the guest list should add a jumbo bottle of wine or a fifth of liquor to whatever they decide to bring. I think a hostess like this would be in serious need of a cocktail or 20!
 
My EASTER letter included the 'regulations.' If you'd READ it, you'd know what a regulation sized casserole dish was. Seriously, I don't know why I bother with you people...


:rotfl:
 
On the one hand, I think the letter-writer would probably be much happier if she didn't host the Thanksgiving dinner. It's obviously too much work.

On the other hand, having hostessed a few Thanksgiving dinners, I can understand some of the history that may have turned this hostess into a raving lunatic. Firstly, the letter is addressed to 6 families so she's presumably hosting a dinner for roughly 20-30 people. Having been there-done-that and reading in-between the lines, I can see that the hostess is sick and tired of dealing with mooches who don't contribute any food items; people who say they'll bring a food item and arrive 10 minutes before the food is to be served with their uncooked food contribution (picture a guest arriving with a frozen turkey at 2 p.m. on Thanksgiving); and multiply these little issues by 6 or 7 families.

The hostess should do as I have done and stop hosting any holiday meals.... maybe even go on a cruise over Thanksgiving in the future. She will be happier for it.
 
Seriously...it sounds like something my SIL would write! I don't know how our family got by all the holidays before she married my brother... :confused3 (she is also a control freak)

Jill
 














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