I like how my family thinks these pills will magically make me a better, normal person. I know what I'm like, I do things in sets...nothing will change this. I can't make myself change til I'm ready to...I'll always hate being around people. Everything bothers me but everyone here seems to think I don't even notice how I act. It bothers me way more than it bothers any of you.
"Doesn't that annoy you?" No, I like having to do the same thing over and over again til I get it "right", I actually really like having to wash my hands for 50 minutes with burning hot water and I love getting so nervous that I can't stop myself from shaking. I know I'm annoying and I'm always in the way, but I don't care. You don't even see all of this. The less you like me the easier it will be to leave you all behind. Those of you who try to understand are probably the only things that annoy me more than myself. I'd rather tell some random person that I'd never see again all my problems than tell family or anyone who knows my family...