mkingdon
Obsessed...and admits it!!
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2002
- Messages
- 408
Previously on this tour...
Introduction
Day One
Day Two
Day Three
Day Four
Day Five 24th August 2007
Sacrifice is a word that is often over used. Some people will bandy the word about for insignificant events were a relative gives up a vital organ for another member of the family, or a mother will work six jobs to send their child to public school. Piffle, is all I can say.
Today you will witness the single most impressive display of sacrifice since George Michael said that Andrew Ridgeley wrote the Wham songs with him so Andrew would earn some money.
More of that later...for now….
The hour is 8am, and our hero (that’s me) opens his eyes, surveys the scene with radar like accuracy and ascertains that….no ****** else is up and he is left to make the sodding breakfast again!!!
Whilst inserting the bread into the toaster, I consult THE PLAN…..
THE PLAN has been carefully constructed based on years of experience, precision planning, weather patterns forecasts months in advance by specialist satellite devise and Louise’s gout playing up.
No-one is to mess with THE PLAN….
Today THE PLAN said Epcot. That would be fine thinks I. You can’t beat a full twelve hours in the wide open spaces of Epcot, especially when every park so far has been as crowded as Jodie Marsh’s bra.
I wrestle with this dilemma. The very fact that no-one else is yet awake, tells me that the energy levels are low, and spirits may be heading in the same direction.
However, reminding myself that THE PLAN cannot be changed, I put the thought to the back of my mind. Until Louise gets up with a face like a smacked ****, and I quickly offer that we go to Typhoon Lagoon instead, as she looks like she fancies Epcot about as much as Anna Nicole fancied her ageing husband.
Earlier in the week, whilst watching the Disney propaganda on the in room TV, on the looped presentation of the Top 7 must see things at WDW, the worryingly over perky presenter had been to Typhoon Lagoon, and Rebecca was very excited by what she saw. I was too, that bikini was rather nice...
... Until I told her of course it wasn’t on THE PLAN.
So now with breaking news that THE PLAN is up for debate, she is in like Flynn and has her best smile on and even goes and brushes her teeth voluntarily.
The unwritten rule of parenting says that only one of your children maybe happy at one moment in time. So therefore Emily is less than pleased with this idea. For some reason she has it in her mind she won’t like it, and starts a sulk of mammoth proportions.
For me, water parks are no big attraction….sure they are fun, but they are normally busy and hot, and it is too like sitting around a pool for my liking. With this in mind the level of personal sacrifice is enormous, especially when it is being offered in place of Epcot!! The kids are oblivious to this until Louise points it out, and I bank those brownie points for the next time (any time real soon) when I need them.
So, we’re headed for Typhoon Lagoon. I’ve been once before, on a trip (only a few) years ago with my parents…I guess I was around the age of my kids now. I thought it was great. So hopefully they will too…you see sacrifice is my middle name. I had strange parents.
After our banquet of toast, we leave at around 9am, arriving at the water park at 9.40am. What, I hear you say, forty minutes to travel the very short distance from Saratoga to TL….did we walk, swim across to DTD…no we had to call at the bloody supermarket again for more “medical stuff”. I don’t care if you are eating or not at this stage….we had to procure some…..are you ready……here it comes….
VAGISIL!!!
The very name strikes the fear of God into my heart, and I mentally block out anything that this stuff could possible be used for. Louise told me it was not pleasant, and that was as much as I needed to know to be honest.
So via Goodings we take forty minutes to get there. Of course in the time we took to get to the supermarket, half of Orlando and most of the international tourist community of Florida have arrived at TL, and secured beds in nicely shaded spots.
We trudge around a bit, and finally find a couple of beds in the “frying tonight” area, where the temperature is somewhere around “burn your skin from your bones” degrees.
The view from our baking trays.
Louise is happy of course, but I fear I may melt and simply drip through the bars of the bed. As Louise bastes herself good and proper and challenges the sun to a battle of wills, me and the girls do the only sensible thing and head for the wave pool. This is, to be honest, great fun. Emily is all of a sudden glad she came.
Happily my two are decent swimmers and we can go into the “big boys” area (this is the only big boys area my girls will ever be allowed into in their lives I might add) to battle the big waves.
After much time has passed, Rebecca wants to do the Lazy River. It sounds like my kind of ride, so off we trot. Louise even admits defeat and has to join us to cool down. We enter the river and await a spare tyre…..I look down and find one immediately, seemingly attached to my waist….but it fails to keep me afloat it seems…so I wait for one of those big yellow ones instead.
Quickly four become free, and Louise attempts to “board” her vessel. Not being comfortable watching other people trying to access their ring….ahem
….I get on with my own business, and I am soon mounted and sailing along.
Louise launches herself, in a Wrestlemania style leap from the steps, and almost goes straight through the centre hole and vanishes under the water. Luckily her heels catch on the rubber ring and she pulls herself back up. I stopped laughing by the time we got to Sanford airport on the way home!!
We all have a gentle drift around the river. We are squirted by several “youths” on the river backs with icy water, and I make a mental picture of their faces, and later, replace the contents of their lunchtime sandwiches with Louise’s Vagisil.
After a loop of the river, we leave and decide to try a “ride”. The nearest one is Gangplank Falls, and despite a 30 minute queue we join it. Thirty minutes later, spookily, we get to the front. The dishing out of the family rafts is being undertaken by Zak McFourpack and Rachelle McDoubleD…..I feel not one iota intimidated….being proud to show my Party Seven.
The ride is OK, but short for the amount of time in the queue.
We walk back to our beds, and the girls and Louise go back into the wave pool. My thoughts are turning to food, and I wander back to the beds to apply some more factor 617 sun cream and think about where to eat.
As the girls return we go for a wander and quickly find a counter service place with some benches amongst the trees. We order –
2 x Chicken Wraps for Louise and I
2 x Burgers for the girls
As I queue to collect my food a kindly American tells me that a bird “did something” on my shirt. I thank her, but explain it is actually my wife’s Vagisil….the bloody stuff gets everywhere. She smiles not quite knowing what to say to that.
As we wander back to the girls who have secured the bench, we do notice a very large number of birds around us. I put my shirt back on, and many of them return to their own boyfriends and husbands, but this still leaves many birds of the feathered kind in the trees above us.
Here we are –
and here they are –
These aren’t your little sparrows either. These can release stuff that could block your toilet…not that I have ever done such a thing…moving on….
On the next bench to us sits an American couple with their daughter, who suddenly goes ballistic.
The squadron of birds above pull up…I can just about hear them…
“Delta Charlie Foxtrot….bombs away…it’s a hit, it’s a hit”
This girl goes mental, hysterical. The damage has been inflicted to her fringe, and she is less than happy. I’ve got to say her parents were useless, thoughtless, uncaring gits…but that is just my opinion…a correct one…but just mine.
They eventually take her away, to get her cleaned up, and she returns with wet hair and a protective towel over her head. It is safe to say she doesn’t really enjoy the rest of her lunch.
We quickly finish our food, or not, as our wraps were a bit rubbish…and the girls wander back to the Lazy River for a bit, and us parents go back to our beds.
I last about two minutes (a personal best in some respects
) before I just have to go into the water to stop myself from passing out. The girls join me shortly and even Louise comes in for a cool down. The wave pool is busy now, and I go into protective Dad mode at one point as two young lads are beggaring about, fighting and keep bumping into my two.
After opening several cans of whoopass over them, we move away slightly. Again, the girls and Louise do the Lazy River and I look to the heavens to see rain clouds coming in for sure. I begin to pack up just so we are ready for the dash, and wait for the girls to return.
Continued....
Introduction
Day One
Day Two
Day Three
Day Four
Day Five 24th August 2007
Sacrifice is a word that is often over used. Some people will bandy the word about for insignificant events were a relative gives up a vital organ for another member of the family, or a mother will work six jobs to send their child to public school. Piffle, is all I can say.
Today you will witness the single most impressive display of sacrifice since George Michael said that Andrew Ridgeley wrote the Wham songs with him so Andrew would earn some money.
More of that later...for now….
The hour is 8am, and our hero (that’s me) opens his eyes, surveys the scene with radar like accuracy and ascertains that….no ****** else is up and he is left to make the sodding breakfast again!!!
Whilst inserting the bread into the toaster, I consult THE PLAN…..
THE PLAN has been carefully constructed based on years of experience, precision planning, weather patterns forecasts months in advance by specialist satellite devise and Louise’s gout playing up.
No-one is to mess with THE PLAN….
Today THE PLAN said Epcot. That would be fine thinks I. You can’t beat a full twelve hours in the wide open spaces of Epcot, especially when every park so far has been as crowded as Jodie Marsh’s bra.
I wrestle with this dilemma. The very fact that no-one else is yet awake, tells me that the energy levels are low, and spirits may be heading in the same direction.
However, reminding myself that THE PLAN cannot be changed, I put the thought to the back of my mind. Until Louise gets up with a face like a smacked ****, and I quickly offer that we go to Typhoon Lagoon instead, as she looks like she fancies Epcot about as much as Anna Nicole fancied her ageing husband.
Earlier in the week, whilst watching the Disney propaganda on the in room TV, on the looped presentation of the Top 7 must see things at WDW, the worryingly over perky presenter had been to Typhoon Lagoon, and Rebecca was very excited by what she saw. I was too, that bikini was rather nice...
... Until I told her of course it wasn’t on THE PLAN.So now with breaking news that THE PLAN is up for debate, she is in like Flynn and has her best smile on and even goes and brushes her teeth voluntarily.
The unwritten rule of parenting says that only one of your children maybe happy at one moment in time. So therefore Emily is less than pleased with this idea. For some reason she has it in her mind she won’t like it, and starts a sulk of mammoth proportions.
For me, water parks are no big attraction….sure they are fun, but they are normally busy and hot, and it is too like sitting around a pool for my liking. With this in mind the level of personal sacrifice is enormous, especially when it is being offered in place of Epcot!! The kids are oblivious to this until Louise points it out, and I bank those brownie points for the next time (any time real soon) when I need them.
So, we’re headed for Typhoon Lagoon. I’ve been once before, on a trip (only a few) years ago with my parents…I guess I was around the age of my kids now. I thought it was great. So hopefully they will too…you see sacrifice is my middle name. I had strange parents.
After our banquet of toast, we leave at around 9am, arriving at the water park at 9.40am. What, I hear you say, forty minutes to travel the very short distance from Saratoga to TL….did we walk, swim across to DTD…no we had to call at the bloody supermarket again for more “medical stuff”. I don’t care if you are eating or not at this stage….we had to procure some…..are you ready……here it comes….
VAGISIL!!!
The very name strikes the fear of God into my heart, and I mentally block out anything that this stuff could possible be used for. Louise told me it was not pleasant, and that was as much as I needed to know to be honest.
So via Goodings we take forty minutes to get there. Of course in the time we took to get to the supermarket, half of Orlando and most of the international tourist community of Florida have arrived at TL, and secured beds in nicely shaded spots.
We trudge around a bit, and finally find a couple of beds in the “frying tonight” area, where the temperature is somewhere around “burn your skin from your bones” degrees.
The view from our baking trays.
Louise is happy of course, but I fear I may melt and simply drip through the bars of the bed. As Louise bastes herself good and proper and challenges the sun to a battle of wills, me and the girls do the only sensible thing and head for the wave pool. This is, to be honest, great fun. Emily is all of a sudden glad she came.
Happily my two are decent swimmers and we can go into the “big boys” area (this is the only big boys area my girls will ever be allowed into in their lives I might add) to battle the big waves.
After much time has passed, Rebecca wants to do the Lazy River. It sounds like my kind of ride, so off we trot. Louise even admits defeat and has to join us to cool down. We enter the river and await a spare tyre…..I look down and find one immediately, seemingly attached to my waist….but it fails to keep me afloat it seems…so I wait for one of those big yellow ones instead.
Quickly four become free, and Louise attempts to “board” her vessel. Not being comfortable watching other people trying to access their ring….ahem
….I get on with my own business, and I am soon mounted and sailing along. Louise launches herself, in a Wrestlemania style leap from the steps, and almost goes straight through the centre hole and vanishes under the water. Luckily her heels catch on the rubber ring and she pulls herself back up. I stopped laughing by the time we got to Sanford airport on the way home!!
We all have a gentle drift around the river. We are squirted by several “youths” on the river backs with icy water, and I make a mental picture of their faces, and later, replace the contents of their lunchtime sandwiches with Louise’s Vagisil.
After a loop of the river, we leave and decide to try a “ride”. The nearest one is Gangplank Falls, and despite a 30 minute queue we join it. Thirty minutes later, spookily, we get to the front. The dishing out of the family rafts is being undertaken by Zak McFourpack and Rachelle McDoubleD…..I feel not one iota intimidated….being proud to show my Party Seven.
The ride is OK, but short for the amount of time in the queue.
We walk back to our beds, and the girls and Louise go back into the wave pool. My thoughts are turning to food, and I wander back to the beds to apply some more factor 617 sun cream and think about where to eat.
As the girls return we go for a wander and quickly find a counter service place with some benches amongst the trees. We order –
2 x Chicken Wraps for Louise and I
2 x Burgers for the girls
As I queue to collect my food a kindly American tells me that a bird “did something” on my shirt. I thank her, but explain it is actually my wife’s Vagisil….the bloody stuff gets everywhere. She smiles not quite knowing what to say to that.
As we wander back to the girls who have secured the bench, we do notice a very large number of birds around us. I put my shirt back on, and many of them return to their own boyfriends and husbands, but this still leaves many birds of the feathered kind in the trees above us.
Here we are –
and here they are –
These aren’t your little sparrows either. These can release stuff that could block your toilet…not that I have ever done such a thing…moving on….
On the next bench to us sits an American couple with their daughter, who suddenly goes ballistic.
The squadron of birds above pull up…I can just about hear them…
“Delta Charlie Foxtrot….bombs away…it’s a hit, it’s a hit”
This girl goes mental, hysterical. The damage has been inflicted to her fringe, and she is less than happy. I’ve got to say her parents were useless, thoughtless, uncaring gits…but that is just my opinion…a correct one…but just mine.
They eventually take her away, to get her cleaned up, and she returns with wet hair and a protective towel over her head. It is safe to say she doesn’t really enjoy the rest of her lunch.
We quickly finish our food, or not, as our wraps were a bit rubbish…and the girls wander back to the Lazy River for a bit, and us parents go back to our beds.
I last about two minutes (a personal best in some respects
) before I just have to go into the water to stop myself from passing out. The girls join me shortly and even Louise comes in for a cool down. The wave pool is busy now, and I go into protective Dad mode at one point as two young lads are beggaring about, fighting and keep bumping into my two.After opening several cans of whoopass over them, we move away slightly. Again, the girls and Louise do the Lazy River and I look to the heavens to see rain clouds coming in for sure. I begin to pack up just so we are ready for the dash, and wait for the girls to return.
Continued....
Oh this TR is a fab un.
