I've been holding back, but I think that I'll have to join in... This is more along the lines of funny than stupid, but here goes ...
I was driving to work on the expressway one morning in our brand new minivan. I was in the express lanes - which in Chicago means that there are two lanes that are used solely for in-bound traffic in the a.m. and outbound traffic in the p.m. These lanes also have only one entrance/exit about mid-way between where they start and end.
It is the peak of morning rush hour and I am in stop and go traffic in the right hand express lane. I go, I stop. I go, I stop. I go, I stop but the limousine behind me does not. Great - van is only like 3 weeks old. I quickly put the van into park and hop out to see if there is any damage since we are not moving anyway. So does the limo driver. The limo had punched a couple of holes in my bumper, so we decide to pull over to the side to exchange information.
I go to get back in my brand new van and find that the automatic door locks have engaged and I'm locked out with the engine is still running. Imagine it - standing in the middle of the express lanes during the height of rush hour, engine is running, purse and cell phone is in the car and I'm LOCKED OUT! I go back to talk to the limo driver and explain what happened. After laughing hysterically and finally catching his breath, he lets me get into his car where we try to call the minute men and the police. Met a jet lagged but really nice gentleman from London, who is now late for his meeting. We wait and wait. Call again. Wait some more.
Remember there's only one exit in this stretch of road? Well, this happened about 1/2 mile before the only mid-way access point. I'm now creating a huge traffic jam because I'm in the middle of one of only two express lanes and there is a very small shoulder so others cannot go around me without using the left lane. People are swearing at me the whole time and yelling that I should move my bleeping car. Like I couldn't have figured that one out. The police finally arrive and decide that they need to temporarily shut down the express lanes in order to allow a tow truck to drive against traffic to hook the van and tow it off at the next exit and try to break into it. The officers are laughing their butts off and having a good ole time telling my tale to the dispatcher.
They finally tow me off the road and after about six police and minute men trying to slim jim my lock, I am finally able to finish my commute. The officer tells me, with a smile on his face that I might try reading the owner's manual and turn that feature off so this doesn't happen again. Hmmm ... can you do that?
I get to work and call DH, who says (after laughing so hard he was crying) "Oh, yeah. I heard that there was some kind of problem with the express lanes this morning." Great, now I've also made the traffic report.
I'm now forever known as the only woman who could lock themselves out of their car in the middle of the road in the middle of the express lanes during the height of rush hour.
Go ahead and laugh. I am. It could happen to you, too.