The Stowaway Diaries: Mistakes, Retakes & Double Takes Update 4/30

Pakey

DIS Legend
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
20,226
Psst. Psssssssst. Over here. I have to keep quiet because I don't want Pakey to get wind of this trip report. If you want to hear the real truth about a Disneyworld trip, stick around. I'll give you the dirt, all the dirt. It won't be some glossy version like Pakey would tell.

Are you wondering who I am? My name is Sharon. I work for Faith, aka Pakey. I've been her loyal assistant for the past 10 years ever since she joined the company as the Chief Financial Officer. She always tells people I'm her right hand and she can't do without me, but did she offer to take me on vacation? No. Instead, she is taking some other people. Let me tell you about this group.

Faith. I know she goes by Pakey on the disboards but I can't imagine her being anyone other than Faith. She's rather serious, not much of a sense of humor. She works hard and doesn't talk much except about work, NASCAR and Disney (which includes these disboards). She gets to go on some very nice vacations but she loves Disneyworld more than anyplace else. She's a very picky person and likes everything to be perfect.

Mo. Faith's husband. Poor guy. He's not much of a fan of Disney but suffers through it because Faith loves it so much. He has owned his own business for the past 25 years but Faith never talks about it, it has something to do with machinery. Faith is mechanically challenged so she probably can't figure it out. Anway, Mo loves to golf more than anything. Faith had mentioned that she was going to put in a change of address for him to the country club so I guess he's there more than anyplace else.

Vik. Faith's cousin and her lifelong best friend. Their parents are best friends so they have many shared memories starting in their early childhood. Vik is retired law enforcement and now works part time for the local hospice. She is also very involved in the regional Make A Wish chapter. She has never been to WDW but really wants to go. She is obviously more special because Faith invited her.

Mike. Vik's husband. He is also retired law enforcement and works part time screening applications for government positions. Mike has no interest in WDW. His vacations are usually historical places like Presidential libraries and the Smithsonian. He is going on this vacation because Vik begged him to and because Faith is paying for the lodging with something called DVC points.

Here's a picture from this trip so that you can see who I'm talking about. The tall one is Mo, the short haired one is Faith, the pretty one is Vik and the serious one is Mike.

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A week before the Fantastic Four were set to leave, Faith started showing up at work with her Disney stuff. She said it was to bring luck to the trip for good January weather but I know she was just rubbing it into the minions (word was borrowed from AUdis) of little people. Her Disney stuff consisted of this ridiculous lime green backpack called a Baggellini with a lime green Mickey tag that said Pakey. It looked very stupid but she seemed to think it had inside meaning. She was also wearing a lanyard with a plastic envelope at the end of it with another lime green Pakey tag. She said the lanyard had powerful mo-jo because she had gotten it at the 2006 EE Sneak Peek, whatever that is.

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That's when I came up with the idea to stowaway on the trip. Faith had been talking about a coolie friend (what's a coolie, anyway) named Lynn who had a flat version of herself. The lightbulb went off. I'd send a flat version of myself in that plastic envelope on the lanyard. I was dying to know if these trips were all Faith brags that they are. Now that I've been I can set the record straight.

So stick around. In the next installment, I'm going to find out how long it takes to pack for a trip to WDW. I'm also going to hear about someone called UtahMama. I'm not sure who she is, but I think she's the Disney version of the great and powerful Oz.
 
Can't wait to hear more, Sharon!
 
Yahoo! I'm here, let the fun begin.
It's so nice to see your beautiful face.

edit... I mean Pakey's beautiful face.
 

Oh boy Pakey (er, Sharon) I can tell this is going to be great! Love the writing style already. So nice to see a face to go with the names. Just need a pic of Sharon now! ;)

Ok Pakey - how did you get your name "Pakey"? Not sure if this was discussed on the coolie board but I don't remember it.
 
Wow! I've already got lots of questions! Great start! Hey Sharon, give us some dirt on Pakey! I'm sure she won't read this. She doesn't believe in writing a trip report. She makes fun of us!:rolleyes1

More please.:surfweb:
 
Can't wait to hear more, Sharon!

Thanks for signing up. I'll try to keep it entertaining.

Yahoo! I'm here, let the fun begin.
It's so nice to see your beautiful face.

edit... I mean Pakey's beautiful face.

Kimmy, It'll be a lot more fun with you here!

Great start - you have me hooked can't wait to read more:)

Charlene, You'll learn more about Pakey than you ever cared to know. :rotfl:

Oh boy Pakey (er, Sharon) I can tell this is going to be great! Love the writing style already. So nice to see a face to go with the names. Just need a pic of Sharon now! ;)

Ok Pakey - how did you get your name "Pakey"? Not sure if this was discussed on the coolie board but I don't remember it.

When Faith was a kid, her youngest brother could not say her name. The closest he could get was Pake and someone added the "y" soon after. It stuck as a family nickname. It probably would have died away but since Faith and Vik remain best friends, Faith is still known as Pakey.

Wow! I've already got lots of questions! Great start! Hey Sharon, give us some dirt on Pakey! I'm sure she won't read this. She doesn't believe in writing a trip report. She makes fun of us!:rolleyes1

More please.:surfweb:

Oh Monica, you don't know the half of it. Yet.
 
"Sharon" know why Pakey hired ya, SHE should be such a talented reporter &
1.gif

You got to meet the Queen of Cabela's:woohoo:

Judi
 
By the way Sharon - I saw flat Stanley on the Today show today - so if you are single this could be a good match:rotfl:
 
By the way Sharon - I saw flat Stanley on the Today show today - so if you are single this could be a good match:rotfl:


Perhaps we could meet up at eharmony. If we meet those 27 or so compatability requirements. Since we are both flat, we've already met the biggest one.
 
Sharon, great start to the trip report :thumbsup2

What a fabulous idea to be a stowaway :rotfl2:
 
Okay, so where was I? Oh yeah, before I can enjoy WDW, these goof jobs have to pack and get there.

Their flight is leaving at 6:20am on Sunday. Faith and Mo live near the airport so Mike and Vik are picking them up at 5:00. The airport is small so no need to get there too early. Faith and Mo like to pack the morning of their trip so they set the alarm for 4:00. Yes, you read right. That gave them 1 hour to wake up, shower, get ready and pack. For me, that's enough time. I'm laminated so I don't get dirty, cold or wet. But these people seriously need to rethink this process. They are throwing stuff in suitcases like they are being timed as a pit crew on a race team. They are certainly proud of themselves and "high five" each other when they were done. Mike and Vik arrive and Faith kisses her ugly little dogs goodbye.

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The Fresno airport is small and at that time of the morning, nothing is open. They can't even get a coffee. Everyone is ready to go, including me.

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They have a 90 minute flight to Salt Lake City where they are changing planes. Their layover is less than an hour. It is 29 degrees and snowing when they land in SLC. They get off the plane and are immediately assaulted with the aroma of Cinnabon. Faith mentions that UtahMama warned her that the smell was piped through the entire airport. Faith explains who UtahMama is. She does like to do the name dropping.

Faith is anxious that they not miss their connecting flight so she and Vik head to the gate and wait. Mike decides he must have a Cinnabon so he and Mo head back towards that stand. Faith, a self proclaimed expert on air travel, informs Vik that they will just buy a salad on the plane and not eat any of that airport junk. Soon, the flight is boarding. The guys are nowhere to be seen. Faith is trying to act calm but I can feel her irritation permeating the plastic envelope where I'm residing against her chest. Before long, they are announcing final boarding for the flight. Faith tells Vik she is getting on the plane with or without the guys. Just as she said that, they come around the corner and start picking up the pace. Faith gives them the look but they don't care; they have Cinnabon breath and no other care in the world.

They are the last to board and they are off on their 4.5 hour flight to Orlando. Faith then discovers that Delta does not sell salads or snack boxes. She has the choice of a bag with 5 peanuts or 2 world famous Delta biscoff cookies. That's it. She is going to be stuck with no food for 14 hours. That is not good. She and Vik have been on diets for the past 2 years and she gets cranky when she doesn't eat on schedule. She gets even more peeved because her Cinnabon-breath husband decides he still has room to eat his own biscoff cookies; she had been hoping to at least snag his. I then learned that Faith will not drink anything at all on a plane because she is scared of those bathrooms. What a wimp. She's way too big to get sucked down through the toilet so what's to fear? Personally, I'm glad she had that fear because I could have falled in and been lost forever.

Their flight arrives at 4:30. They are met by Bob from ****** because Faith doesn't think the Magical Express is magical. I'm sure you guys know what that means. They make their grocery stop for water and sodas and arrive at the Beach Club at 6:10pm. They walk into the lobby and the checkin line is stretched across the lobby. The BC soon gets more help and they are checked in quickly. Vik and Mike have a gift basket waiting for them from Peggy's Sweets & More. Faith had ordered it with a note saying "We hope you enjoy your first trip to WDW". Ohhhhhhh, what a sweet gesture. I sit in my hot plastic, sweaty envelope and look out at those cute Mickey ears, pins, photo frames, etc in that basket. Sometimes it's hard not to be bitter.

It was a very nice basket and I would highly recommend that someone purchase one for me if I ever get to go again.

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They head up to their 2 bedroom condo. There's a bedroom for Mike and Vik and a bedroom for Faith and Mo. Again, no consideration for me. I guess I'll take one of the 2 sleeper sofas. The condo is very nice. Obviously, Faith could afford to pay me a better salary if she can afford to stay at a place like this. I'll have to talk to her about that after we get home. Vik and Mike are thrilled that they are staying there for free.

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Mike is exhausted and flops onto the sofa. He likes to do lots of relaxing on his vacations. That is going to be a problem. For him. Not Faith. Faith immediately announces, "Let's go to Epcot". She is anxious to get this vacation started.

So what will be the first thing Faith does on her vacation? I was surprised.
 
Hello Sharon and Pakey - I'm from the peep thread. Subscribing and love the TR so far. Love all the pictures and the Flat Sharon is cute.
 
Yay, more!:cool1: Flat Sharon, you are so cute! Love your Mickey ears! Can't wait to hear more Pakey dirt! ;) What did you do? Where'd you go? What'd you eat? We gotta know! BTW Sharon. You might want to stay away from those dogs! They might mistake you for a yummy treat!:eek:
 
:yay: Hi Flat Sharon! It's Flat Lynn here! Not to be confused with the real Lynn who is also as flat as a 10 yr old boy :lmao: ( don't tell her I said that).

I can't tell you how excited I am to read a report from a "Flattie" instead of a coolie! All us Flatties know how PHAT we are ---( you do know what that means don't you?:confused: )

Pakey's dogs are so ugly they are cute-pimples and all!
I love Pakey's short hair. It's like my 3-D counter parts' hair - short and attitude!

My 3D Lynn could never pack the way Pakey does. She's way too anal. ( Can we say anal here?) Everything has to be folded neatly and arranged by outfit (Including accessories) per day. It takes weeks! Not Minutes!!!

I can't believe that Cinnabon Breath Man wouldn't give Pakey his cookie.! No real 3- d person can go 14 hours with only a couple of peanuts for substanence. I hope they at least let her buy a couple of Mimosas!

Pakey sounds like one of the best people in the real world if she took her cousin ( best friend) on her trip and got that really SWEET gift basket for them!

Cinnabon Man better not slow down the touring! can't wait to read more!!!
 
What an interesting point of view for a report. :) Can't wait to hear more.
Packing the morning of the trip? :crazy2: I'd be a nervous wreck!
Oh, how could she go 14 hours without a decent meal? :faint:
 
don't have time to read right now but i'll be back later to catch up. can't wait to get the scoop! :surfweb:
 
Great updata Flat Sharon! Love the insight you are giving us into Faith.

Very nice gift basket.

The doggies are adorable! :love:
 
Thanks to all of you who are reading my trip report. Faith would be so jealous to know that you guys are paying more attention to me than you would to her. And I hope you noticed in my photo that I have much nicer hair than she does. :rotfl:

I'll try to update tomorrow but it might be difficult with the Super Bowl on. In the next installment, I may finally get a bit to eat. I tell you, I'm starving. So far Faith hasn't been any more fun to vacation with than she is to work with. At least at work there's a Krispy Kreme box thrown our way once in awhile.

FlatSharon
 








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