The Sillys Journey into the Heart of Dorkness (new 12/15 - p. 23 criminy crackerswog)

[javamom]

Hi Mr. Silly, glad to see that you got loose... again.. jk ;-)

 

[kpk89]

Still reading ... of course!

Fire ants are another reason I am glad to live in the north, even though it freezes half the year.

 

[Mr. Silly]

Just FYI, I've been prolific lately while suffering in our sweltering house with no AC. So I have written and edited the next section and basically completed it. It is in H's mailbox. She claims it will take her at least three days to read and comment on it, maybe a week. Hopefully she can find some pics for this one. It needs pics. Maybe I'll see if I can find some pics too.

 

[cmp1111]

Just FYI, I've been prolific lately while suffering in our sweltering house with no AC. So I have written and edited the next section and basically completed it. It is in H's mailbox. She claims it will take her at least three days to read and comment on it, maybe a week. Hopefully she can find some pics for this one. It needs pics. Maybe I'll see if I can find some pics too.

Sorry about the heat, but hooray for the next installment! Good luck finding pictures.

 

[Mr. Silly]

Trip Report 19 in which we may or may not get to tea, but we are so close that it would be really troubling if we did not get tea.

We are very close now. We have gotten to the MonoRail that will take us to the Floridian where the tea awaits. Such a short trip. Surely we can make it.

Marketing says we need more photos. I think I failed to put these photos in the last segment/chapter/monologue, so here they are:

Here's me looking like I swallowed a lemon. Or something. I'm not sure what's up with Max either. Free lemons?:

Here's a fat Buddha and PlutoPants:

And here's some cage thing, or something. Don't ask me. Haley put the picture in here:

Dear reader we will try hard, but there is so much to say, so I can make no promises at all.

The first thing I would like to say is that marketing has been very upset lately. They think we cheated on the last puzzle, so this time we will offer a puzzle that is much simpler so that when they read this they will be able to solve it. In our efforts to implement marketing's plans, we were not entirely successful in realizing all that stuff. This time we have added a more traditional type of puzzle. Somewhere in the trip report below we have secretly (and quite subtly and obscurely) hidden a Disney product/feature/element that does not actually exist. See if you can find it. This is a puzzle format that's worked in the past, so we will milk it for all it's worth.

Carrying on, marketing liked it when we had broken the fourth wall. They were thrilled. So being the way they are, they decided that we should not only break the fourth wall (nice shoes, by the way), but break the fifth wall. Generally people in trip reports are characters that are based on the people that went on that trip together, and the people in the trip report don't know that they are in a trip report. They don't know that there is an audience out there reading about them. By having them interact in some way with the readers (all three of them), they take on an awareness that they are elements in the report and break the fourth wall. So what is the fifth wall? The fifth wall is where random readers are pulled out of the audience and into the trip report. So we will now pull in several readers at random. We created a semi-random method to select readers, and selected four who have been both loyal, but also honorable. We paired them randomly and had them battle it out in the Star Chamber where two would walk in, but only one could walk out. After the loss of many fine readers we got it down to this list:

Raphael
Donatello
Michelangelo
Leonardo

There was supposed to be just one, but these guys were all just too good, and they all like to work as a team. After we selected them, they pulled in one lurker that they were all very attached to for some reason. I don't really know him, but after some private messaging I decided he was OK. So we also welcome the user named Splinter.

I would like to bring up a term that probably everybody reading this knows, but which deserves additional attention. That word is Philistine. The ancient Philistines lived on the southern coast of Canaan around the time of the arrival of the Israelites. They had picked up maritime skills from the Phoenicians. They were interesting people, and if you were writing a term paper on a topic where you could fit either them or the Phoenicians in, you could have a lot of fun researching. The Philistines were not liked. Not by the Israelites, not by the Romans, not by any people that wrote history. Thus the term later picked up the idea of a person who did not value art, beauty, intellectual pursuits, and/or higher values. That latter sense is the one that might be handy to keep in your back pocket in case it pops up again. The thing that makes all this really messy is that modern archaeology shows that the Philisitines really were an Iron Age culture living amidst the Jews who were still in a Bronze Age. They actually were very sophisticated builders, potters, more sophisticated than their neighbors. But let's not let reality confuse us. Despite the facts, the term means in modern parlance "unsophisticated, unrefined, uncultured."

While at this point the most sensible thing to do would be to charge on into the description of events that occurred while in Disney World, sometimes I am less sensible and more idealistic, and I drift from descriptions of phenomenon, and wish to consider the principles behind them. Which is interesting to do with Disney things. That was not really a great lead in to what I am about to describe.

A while back my toe smashed into something and triggered inverse pain reporting. The principle of inverse pain reporting is simple. To the degree that one is in gut-wrenching agony, for instance suffering from appendicitis with one's appendix about to blow, it's important to be quiet, say little, and stoically hold the course. To the degree that pain is minor and trivial it is important to loudly and clearly announce the suffering, and make sure that all who can hear do hear, and hopefully throwing out the term, "Criminy Crackerswoggle" liberally. Hence some sunburn or a stubbed toe is worth commenting on 5-10 times an hour, while it's really not worth mentioning alternately throbbing and spiking pains running from one's leg tup to the top of the scalp that continually grow in intensity and make it hard to breathe. But stubbed toes are worthy of a clear loud screaming, "Criminy Crackerswoggle!" and then delivering an epic poem describing the walking up to the stairs, the beginning of the march up the stairs and the gut wrenching agony in the middle of the stairs, when the hero got a stubbed toe. I am an occasional practitioner of this, though I am trying to develop a more balanced approach.

That really had to do with nothing, but we had to delay things a bit while we got the folks ready. We call them the "fifth wallers." We met these guys back in episode 5, but from there they took an interest in the rest of our trip report, and have been following it along. So we welcome them back, and will enjoy the valuable services they can provide.

While Ninja might seem on the surface to be incredibly fast as well as difficult to see, this is largely a result of a carefully managed marketing campaign in which the silently and ruthlessly kill anyone who doesn't perpetuate the proper image they wish to cultivate. So they're still getting ready. Darn them. So anyhow one anecdote I forgot to include was something a bit more personal. For pretty much forever I've been obsessed with three things. The ancient Greeks, and flying carpets. You'll note that I did not put math in that list. So anyway if there were only such thing as magic I would be really happy since I could then have a flying carpet. Which would be rad. When I go off into pretend-land where there is magic, flying carpets figure in pretty often. Alternately when I go into pretend-land that is the Future, then I dream of Jet-packs (most current enthusiasts call them Rocket Belts). I really only bring this up because I mentioned I would before. Back to our report...

As we hurried towards the MonoRail to get to the Floridian, the Ninjas surrounded us and formed both a guard and a method for quickly moving through crowds. When people see four Ninjas coming, they get out of the way. We really find these guys valuable and fascinating. Their tales of Ninja training would be worthy of a comic book, or a television program that would be syndicated. They are that interesting. So we were enjoying our quick walk to the MonoRail. When we arrived we were lucky enough to get to sit in the front of the MonoRail. It was cool. The first time that we were at Disney World The one time we went up to a MonoRail and found the front available there were a couple people in there, so I had to ride in the train behind. From that point I began to wonder just what the inside of the front cabin was like. So when we get to go in there now I am always especially pleased to see it all, and like to talk to the pilot and ask about his job, about the controls, and just about things in general that are of interest to a MonoRail Captain/Pilot/Whatever. The controls are really pretty simple.

Here are Max and Sophie looking like the MonoRail Captain/Pilot/Whatever said something peculiar:

We had to switch MonoRails to get to the Floridian. So we got out, went to the next one, and it too had the front cabin open. I cannot tell you how pleased I was at this. I got to ride in the front again and talk to a different driver about the same kind of things. It was excellent. I enjoyed seeing that both really liked what they did, and just liked talking to them in general.

Really, he talked the poor guys ears off. ((big grin))

According to my notes, the Captain/Pilot/Whatever was named, "Six." Max came up with a plan for what to do when he grew up. He planned to get a time machine, get a bunch of treasure from the past worth a lot, and then sell it on eBay. I recommended ancient Greece as a good place for vaccinated time travel, with an emphasis on vaccinations.

Since we were heading into tea where we were supposed to pretend to be civilized it was tea coaching time. I had to get the kids ready for their first exposure to higher culture.

Besides Epcot, he means. We all know Epcot is a vast depository of high culture. They even have fountains and stuff.

So I decided to give Max and S. a vocabulary lesson. The words we went over were, Subtle, Refined, and Elegant. "I know you've never heard these words before, so I wanted to break them on you now before we got to tea. These are the ideals we are theoretically trying to live up to while we are at tea." I offered some examples of subtle, refined, elegant behavior, such as holding one's pinky out while drinking tea. Apparently I affected an English accent, since H. said, "Dear, you are mocking the English by using that accent." I replied, "Yes, but you see, we are Americans. It is our duty to mock the English. And the French. Sadly that means that we have the harsh duty of making fun of Canada at times, though I am really an unwilling mocker of Canada."

It was while riding in the front car of the MonoRail that Sophia noticed the wedding pavilion at the Grand Floridian. She asked me what it was. I guess the thrill of riding in the front of the MonoRail clouded my judgment, because I answered her truthfully. Sophia thinks she might want to get married there (in 25 to 30 years).

These things in general apparently put me in a fairly good mood, so we wandered off from the train into the Floridian joking around and having a nice time. We were sitcom material. As we were walking we looked up. There was a single pirate walking out of the door, marching up to us. He was wearing a fancy hat that told us that he was a pirate leader. Also he had a monkey on his shoulder. He was sneering. We were distraught. Criminy Crackerswoggle! One pirate would surely defeat four Ninja, and monkeys don't count as combatants in this class of melee. But then we looked behind him and saw dozens of pirates popping out from behind bushes and other hiding places. We started to laugh. Their leader shouted that we had to give them the idol, the eye of mara. We didn't actually have it any longer, but for some reason we didn't mention that, but instead asked them to work with our negotiators. Up came Raph., Donatello, Leo., and Michelangelo. Splinter was watching from behind and offering sage advice - "the enemy you must defeat first is the fear in yourself - then any enemy will fall before you." I just made that one up, since I can't really remember the exact details, but it was that kind of thing.

Our negotiators shouted out at the pirates, "Our Tae Bo technique is unstoppable! You outnumber us ten to one, you have no chance!"

They approached the pirates to negotiate. The negotiations took out the first ten pirates with ruthless efficiency that was also perfectly silent. The next two made small grunts as they were dispatched, Raph. frowned and made a hand signal to the rest with his oddly gloved hand (his glove doesn't have fully articulated fingers - not sure what's the deal). The Ninjae have some kind of running joke where they pretend they are turtles. They even wear turtle masks, with Ninja masks over those. It's a little weird, but they are very efficient, silent, and ruthless (even if they can occasionally be a little slow) so we don't complain. I closed my eyes to see if they could keep their silent negotiations going. At one point I could hear one pirate shout something about bloomers for a second before he was silenced in mid sentence, that was the only sound I heard besides the gentle breeze blowing the leaves on the plumbagos nearby. I had seen them before so I knew they were plumbagos.

H. tapped me on the shoulder. I opened my eyes. I assumed the nijnas were practicing their stealth skills since they were nowhere to be seen. In fact there was nobody present but the pirate leader tied up and dressed in women's clothing. His monkey was also dressed in women's clothing. The monkey was bound and gagged as well.

I don't like animal cruelty, and gagging a monkey seems wrong. I was going to have a word with the Ninjae once I spotted them. I went up to the monkey, and pulled off the gag. He started shouting, "Criminy Crackerswoggle! Arr, I'll die before I tell ye..." I shoved the gag back in quickly. I just couldn't handle talking monkeys wearing women's clothing at that point.

I went to Max.
Max, "They're done, but now there's a bigger mystery."
I said "What's that?"
Max: "They disappeared. But the captain is caught, tied up, and had duct tape over his mouth."
Me: "How could they have pulled duct tape off the roll silently? It's always really noisy when I do that. Is there special Ninja duct tape?"
Max: "It's because of quantum turbo-dynamic overdrive calibration."
Me: "They initiated that?"
Max: "I think so."
That explained a lot.
Me: "So what's the mystery?"
Max: "They're gone."
Up walked a dog.
Dog: "Herro."
Me: "Hi Scoob. Okay kids, lets split up and search for clues."
I could bore you with this whole mystery. I did at one point write out much of the episode, but I thought that you would not be so excited at the prospect. I'll give away the end. It was Old Man Stevens. He wanted the idol because he thought that the map to the lost treasure of Idaho Joe was hidden inside it. But it was really in the very briefcase he had hidden in his office the whole time... And he would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for our meddling. Also we found the Ninjas.

So we went into the Floridian. It was cool, as always. Nice entryway. I turned to the Ninja, "Hey guys make yourselves invisible for a while while we get tea. We didn't get enough reservations for you." Raph. said, "I'm thinking we could persuade them to open up more reservations." Haley stepped in, "No. Not today. These things can turn ugly. Remember Tom Sawyer's Island. You guys got blood all over our Bagatello or Baggallini or whatever. The name isn't important. What's important is that you got blood all over it. Remember? I want a nice tea."

Raph said, "Do you recall in our earlier battle... How several pirates actually made sounds as they died? This is most unfortunate. But we now know the terrible truth. Silly-San. Would it be possible for us to make a brief detour as you take your tea?"
Me: "Sure, I guess. What are you gonna do?"
Raph: "We must find Billy Blanks... And kill him ruthlessly, invisibly, silently."
Me (puzzled): "Billy Blanks, personal trainer to the stars, and inventor of Tae Bo?"
Raph: "Yes, that Billy Blanks. But he did not invent Tae Bo as he claims. He betrayed the secrets of the Ninja out of greed. Tae Bo was an ancient Ninja martial art, held secretly, taught person to person while hiding in caves and other places that offered cover so that others could not learn these secrets. To learn Tae Bo one has to take a blood oath. Then someone taught Bily.
(Raph. glared at Donatello at this point, as did the other Ninjae)
Raph: "Billy not only revealed the secret, he sold videos teaching it to anyone! There were infomercials! Infomercials! We would have merely humiliated him publicly causing him deep pain and shame, perhaps forcing him to wear women's clothing... But because of the infomercials, the Ninja Laws demand his death."
Me: "Okay, I guess that sounds serious. But isn't he in Hollywood or something?"
Raph: "Our network of Ninja spies has reported to us that he is in the vicinity of Pleasure Island. If we hurry we can dispatch him quickly, ruthlessly, and silently."
Me: "Well, technically I can't exactly give you the OK to go killing a personal trainer to the stars. But if you had some 'errand' to run, I suppose we could let you go off to run your 'errand' while we had our tea. And please let's not discuss the 'errand' once you've returned."
H: "Criminy Crackerswoggle! You are going to let these guys kill Billy Blanks in cold blood?!"
Me: "Well he did take a blood oath that he betrayed. And they've killed loads of pirates while we were around and you didn't complain then."
H: "Yeah, in that case so long as it's just an undefined 'errand', guess it's okay for them to go for a while."

Raph: "Okay, dudes, lets go! And once the 'errand' is complete we can get some pizza." They disappeared.

In the Floridian a jazz band was playing a Duke Ellington tune. I dig Duke Ellington. I could write pages about how awesome Duke Ellington's tunes are. I am happy. We wander along. It's nice. H. leads the way to the tea area. I comment on the band.

Me: "Wow, how cool, they just don't write songs like this anymore..."
Max: "Yes, because the people who made songs like that are dead..."
Me: "And we all know that dead artists are far more talented than living artists..."

For some reason I didn't record whether I went into a discussion about this.

And that's it. In the next installment we'll get to tea.












































Kidding.

But since we've had this pause to stop and catch a breath, I'd like to take this time to mention something. In the past we had kind of meant to sort of build up tension and interest in the Tea. I am not so sure that we remembered to do this, and am not sure that we succeeded, but the chances are that we did have at least some success in this marketing ploy. Now for the bad news. As it turns out, while it was fun, the tea was not really as funny as it seemed at the time, and my notes are hard to read. So if this just seems like you are somehow fell in on a coin collector's club meeting, and coins are not really your thing, well there it is.

As we were waiting to sit the following conversation occurred:

Max: "Hey, wow Sophie, that Band-Aid looks just like your skin."
Sophia: "Yes, Band-aids look like my skin because I have such a nice tan."
The Band-Aid did match her skin tone very well.

After a while they seated us. It was very nice in the tea room. Lovely decor. Very subtle and refined. I don't think the kids appreciated this quite as much as the adults did.

Our server was named Dotty. We took an immediate liking to her for some reason. For tea we ordered:
Me: Earl Grey
H: Earl Grey
Sophie: Eros (mix of black tea and herb teas of various sorts - nice tea, a little fruity, slightly disturbing name, esp. with Sophie drinking it)
Max: Jade Leaf (nice Chinese style jasmine tea)

I am pretty sure that when I ordered, I said, "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot." I bet they'd never heard that one before. She gave me this look, that might have said, "You people always say that same line. It's sad."

We also ordered some scones, a trifle, and strawberries and cream with cream on the side.

Spoiler Alert - if you haven't eaten there before you may wish to skip the following section.

All the food was really good, and the tea was excellent.

But we are jumping ahead here. Remember all those straws full of honey that we got earlier? Sophie got them out of the pack. She took more than I thought. There appeared to be several beehives worth of honey in straws spread over the table.

They brought the tea. We prepared ours according to our tastes. Personally, I like about four or five sugar packets along with milk in my tea. I really like cream, which was something we picked up while in Canada, but I think they only had milk. I ignored whatever the others did to their tea, because I am self-absorbed sometimes.

H. drank her tea, but didn't hold her pinky out.

Until I started taking pictures... You can see the honey straws in front of Sophie.

Prior to the photos I said, "Look, unlike daddy, mommy has no class. She's not using her pinky right." I licked my spoon clean, and then placed it on the end of my nose so it dangled there.

I made my tea.
H: "You forgot to strain your tea."
Me: "I like it that way. The chunks add texture."
Max: "You know that candy that starts soft and then turns hard again? You should all get some and give it all to me."
Me: "Whaa?"
Max: "You know that candy, it's in China. Or Japan."
H: "He's talking about that candy in Japan where the lady takes the soft candy and then shapes it into animals and things."
Me (looking at Max): "Are you eating a sugar cube?"
Max: "Sophie started it."
I look at Sophie. She's chewing a sugar cube, and is occasionally dipping her straw into the tea and dribbling drops of tea onto the cube.
Me: "If you eat all the sugar then you won't have any ready for your tea. "
Sophie: "Oh, they'll us give us more."
Sigh.

Here's a plush toy drinking tea:

As I picked tea leaves out of my teeth, we talked about how nice the Floridian was, and how nice the band was (they were doing a jazzed up Charleston), and how nice the food was, and how nice it was to have Ninjas do our bidding. The band was playing standards, and I was digging them. I have an unhealthy relationship with the music of the 30s through the early 50s. Before the dark days. Before Rock, before Jazz quit being beautiful, and decided to go showing off with weird chords (Gm#5b7#13), funny rhythms (5/8), and raw speed. I think of that later Jazz like a circus acts, you are really just hearing amazing feats, not listening to it because it is musical. I won't go on a diatribe about why I don't care for much of Rock, since I don't want to alienate my last two readers.

Sophie didn't want her scone. I took it, and dipped into my tea for a long time until it was nice and soggy. Then it fell in and spilled tea over the edge. I slowly moved it the cup-scone mass to my mouth, only dropping a few big chunks. I took my scone, and coated it with strawberry jam. Their strawberry jam is great. It's so good I had to wipe out to jam jar with my finger to get every last tiny bit. It was excellent jam.

Max picked up a strawberry with his hand and slowly but carefully maneuvered it towards himself. It fell. It hit the table and made a surprisingly loud sound. He picked it up again, and dropped it on his shirt where it made a surprisingly bright stain, then bounced on his shorts where more surprisingly bright pink stains appeared. That strawberry was really full of surprises.

Here's Max illustrating refined elegant behavior (you can see some straws on his plate):

Here's Max illustrating refined elegant behavior:

The pictures are slightly out of order. These were the last two I took. This pose was Sophie's idea. We have taught her well.

Our server, Dottie, was very nice and very patient with the Philistine family.

In my notes I actually wrote this at this point, "some other things I forget." I think sometimes I have a latent passive-aggressiveness towards myself.

Max: "What's a word for friend that starts with the letter 'S'?"
Me: "Steve?"
Max: "No."
Me: "Okay, I give up."
Max: "It's spider."

Max showed me a little toy that he had made at the honey display that opened to show a spider.

H. slurped tea from her spoon. I slurped tea from my spoon. Max and Sophie cracked up.

I stuck two straws in my mouth pointing down. "Rook, I'm a warus. Urf Urf Urf." The kids laughed and imitated this.

I fought the urge to stick a straw in my nose. I think I won. There were no notes as to which side won. I did put one in my ear at one point though.

Sophie accused me of stealing honey sticks. I denied this, though in truth it was possible... Sophie stirred her tea with her finger since she couldn't find a honey-stick.

At the same time Sophie was stinging me with an improvised weapon. Apparently she stuck her finger through a scone all the way so that her nail came out the other side. This could be used as a kind of stealth weapon. She put jelly on her finger when she did this attack. I licked jelly and scone crumbs off my arm.

My notes say, "Sometimes our elegance and refinedness scares me."

H: "I think I like it here. I think it should be a new tradition."
Me: "Yeah, assuming they ever let us back in, it'd be nice to return. Maybe we should wear disguises if we come back... Or we could get Ninja training and use our stealth skills to sneak in."

We shared teas around. I poured a cup of Max' tea, and enjoyed it. Very nice flavors, subtle, refined... If you open the ends of the honey straws and then use the straw to drink the tea, it makes it tastes very nice. Soon we were all drinking out tea with straws, and struggling to keep the kids from shooting spitballs with the straws. I had to repeat, "Subtle, Refined, and Elegant," a bunch of times.

Max and Sophie traded burps. Loudly. And then giggled. I looked around and was relieved to see that there was a large empty border zone around out table. H. thought they seat people with kids away from everyone else.

We then went after the trifle. I love trifles. It's like a bowl filled with awesome cake and awesome sauce, with chunks of awesome stuck in it. H. and Sophie also like it. Max is allergic to many of the central ingredients. We tore into it, leaving nothing behind. Once we finished with it, I grabbed the bowl and gave it one good last lick to make sure we weren't wasting anything.

Or did he?

We got our check, paid, sat for a little while to enjoy the lovely area (though our presence was detracting from that). Then we got up to head off to whatever it was we were to do next. As we walked out, Sophie turned towards Dottie, and said, "I burped." Loud. Then she burped again and giggled. Criminiy Crackerswoggle! Sophia definitely didn't pick up the "subtle" bit.

We picked up some speed. We ran into the little shop next door. The little shop next door sold fancy overpriced clothes, but at least we were unknown there so we couldn't be immediately identified as Philistines. In the store a few of the managers had lanyards full of pins that were mind bogglingly cool. It was like trading pin heaven. They had pirate pins of all sorts. We scored a jolly roger, some treasure chest ones, and a few other awesome ones. I think this was where we saw the FastPass lanyard pin. OMG. A whole new world of obsessive-nerd-opportunity right there. A FastPass lanyard pin. That became a new obsession. I wanted a Star Tours or Space Mountain FastPass Lanyard pin quite deeply. And if there was a Maelstrom FastPass pin, well, that would be so awesome it would be scary.

The lady who we were trading with was a manager, and somehow she had so may cool pins it sparked a crisis. In the end we traded off a few less desirable pins that were still good, and got the Treasure Chest, the Captain at the Wheel, and a Stitch Escaping. The Stitch one was cool too. We were thrilled. Deep inside I am slightly troubled that we were thrilled about trading pins back and forth, but there we are. I mention ancient coins to the deep inside bit (I collect Greek and Roman coins) and it gives up, and decides pin trading is fine.

She was really nice, and we talked about our plans for later. She mentioned a nice way to see Illuminations. In Japan in the Japanese restaurant there's a second floor with a porch-type-thing. You can go op to the second floor for free and there is a nice spot to watch that doesn't get as crowded.

Well now that you have spilled this info to all 3 of our readers I am sure it will be packed.

We talked about Disneyland a bit too, since she used to work there.

At this point we went back to the MonoRail. It was busted. It hurts to type those words. The ultimate, and supremely cool transit system of the future broken? Horror. Sheer unadulterated horror. Anyhow we were going to have to slum it and take a bus. This in itself is fine, since I like buses. The bus came. There was a guy who was a big jerk about not being able to take the MonoRail. He seemed to feel that taking buses was for the plebians, and he shouldn't have to breath commoner air. I began quietly coaching Max and Sophie on the finer points of being an obnoxious Yokel. "Say it loud, spray it loud." After we worked out where he was trying to go, and considered the instructions that he was given, it was clear that someone didn't like him. He was going to be going on a more extended tour of the parks before he reached his destination.

Yep, he was special. He also did not want to wait his turn for a bus, since he was so special and all. "Yes, sure, I bet it will be much faster to take that Bus to Downtown Disney and then transfer to the Magic Kingdom. That is a brilliant plan. "

While you could say that we were Philistines for drinking tea with straws (and cream), and poking out fingers through scones to make them makeshift weapons, or what have you. And you could say that we were training our children to behave uncouthly. All of this was just so that we could broadside that particular fellow and let him feel the philistine grapeshot. Except I didn't record exactly how we horrified him.. Oh well.

While this was going down, we pulled out our new awesome pins, two of which were very hard to get. We had been looking into getting more MonoRail engines, since I had a theme of "means of transport," that included boats, trains, buses, and MonoRails. Someone in the line had a MonoRail that we traded for. Dwelling on getting the full set of MonoRail pins took up a little more time in my mind than it should have.

 

[Leonardo]

Kowabunga Dude!

Awesome trip report. If you ever need our services again when you are in the big D, look us up! Always a pleasure to negotiate for you.

 

[Raphael]

Hey Dude, way cool trippie. Just wanted to drop by and say hey before we went to get some pizza.

Must die ->

 

[Michelangelo]

Dang dudes, you beat me to it! I was going to say "kowabunga, dude! awesome trip report!" But then I read the comments, and it was like, "whoa!" The comment was already there. Then I saw it was Leonardo... Heh. Leonardo, dude, you have the skills.

Anyway, dudes, it was great working for you and "negotiating" with Pirates. Hope we see you again. I'm off to get some pizza. Wait, Raph. already said that. Whoa... It's like double-deja-vu.


Weak ->

 

[Donatello]

Dudes, sweeeet trip report. Anyway, I was going to say how rad it was to hang with you and everything, but I just got a report from April. She just found a very important clue. So we all gotta jam. Catch you later.

This icon is hiding his body because he's wearing women's clothes... ->

 

[UtahMama]

uh.... hey dude and doodette. Beachin' report. Gnarly.

So do we just openly and blatantly post the riddle answer? PM?

I don't want to ruin it for the scores of fans who undoubtedly are just having computer problems and will be posting any second now.

Haley!!!! Where's your tiara at tea? Sophie, sweetie, next time use glow cubes and twirly straws. And lapping at your tea is perfectly fine, don't worry! Y'all did fIIIIIne!

Crap, it's the 32nd of August already? Only 21 more days!

Lives in his mother's basement and plays minesweeper and has asthma >

 

[kpk89]

Subtle, refined and elegant. That's so your trip report, dude!

Max picked up a strawberry with his hand and slowly but carefully maneuvered it towards himself. It fell. It hit the table and made a surprisingly loud sound. He picked it up again, and dropped it on his shirt where it made a surprisingly bright stain, then bounced on his shorts where more surprisingly bright pink stains appeared. That strawberry was really full of surprises.

This is, hands-down, the best segment of all. It must've been a pirate strawberry. Or a ninja? I get them mixed up all the time.

 

[eeyore45]

Mr. Silly and Haley!

I'm going to sound dumb no matter what I write (but when has that ever stopped me) after reading such a well done beginning!

You have a unique perspective and we're all entertained (taking the liberty to speak for everybody!). BUT, your penmanship is as bad as your IQ is high. Thank you for not being overly supercilious, Mr. Silly.

Yep, I'm in - and yep, You CAN speak for me!!

I'm so ready for our trip - and its our first at POP!!



(I also am married to a self proclaimed geek - he wouldnt dream of sharing his notes!! and I hope he doesnt forget his macbookPro power cords!)

 

[eeyore45]

I am happy to have the precious again.

Interesting side note, dh and ds' use "precious" to describe their laptops... LOTR reference...

How much is a Taxi from Pop to Contemp btw? I've been debating this route instead of the bus hops...

 

[eeyore45]

Great installment.....less product, less dictionary, more bang for your buck....that's what I'm talkin about. BTW........if not Aerosmith, then who??? The Rolling Stones? Led Zepplin? Chuck Berry? Ricky Martin? Ozzy? WHAM? Don Ho? (ooo....Big uke instead of big electric guitar?) Who is on Mr. Silly's A list?

Before I turn the page - could Grateful Dead be on the list? San Fran and all...

 

[Mr. Silly]

Kowabunga Dude!

Awesome trip report. If you ever need our services again when you are in the big D, look us up! Always a pleasure to negotiate for you.

Thanks Leonardo, If we ever go back we'll seriously consider using your services. You guys are the best ninjas money can buy.

Hey Dude, way cool trippie. Just wanted to drop by and say hey before we went to get some pizza.

Must die ->

Thanks Raph., it was a true pleasure working with you guys.

Dang dudes, you beat me to it! I was going to say "kowabunga, dude! awesome trip report!" But then I read the comments, and it was like, "whoa!" The comment was already there. Then I saw it was Leonardo... Heh. Leonardo, dude, you have the skills.

Anyway, dudes, it was great working for you and "negotiating" with Pirates. Hope we see you again. I'm off to get some pizza. Wait, Raph. already said that. Whoa... It's like double-deja-vu.


Weak ->

Thanks Michelangelo, your "negotiating" skills are the stuff of legends.

Dudes, sweeeet trip report. Anyway, I was going to say how rad it was to hang with you and everything, but I just got a report from April. She just found a very important clue. So we all gotta jam. Catch you later.

This icon is hiding his body because he's wearing women's clothes... ->

Thanks Donatello. Good luck on your future missions.

uh.... hey dude and doodette. Beachin' report. Gnarly.

So do we just openly and blatantly post the riddle answer? PM?

You can PM me if you want, and then I can tell you if you got it right. It's pretty subtle... Or if you know you got it, you can just sit comfortably with that knowledge.

I don't want to ruin it for the scores of fans who undoubtedly are just having computer problems and will be posting any second now.

Yeah, no spoilers.

Lives in his mother's basement and plays minesweeper and has asthma >

I must warn you that once you start down the path of abusing pirates there's no end.

<- no matter what I do this quote doesn't show up right... Weird...
Subtle, refined and elegant. That's so your trip report, dude!
[\QUOTE]

Thanks. I thought this one was kind of amusing in a few points, though if I hadn't worked so hard at being subtle, refined, and elegant, it'd probably be better.

This is, hands-down, the best segment of all. It must've been a pirate strawberry. Or a ninja? I get them mixed up all the time.

Definitely a Pirate strawberry, since it was attacking us. Currently the ninjas are on our side. Also if it was a ninja strawberry it would have stained all of our clothes quickly and silently without any of us noticing until after it disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Interesting side note, dh and ds' use "precious" to describe their laptops... LOTR reference...

How much is a Taxi from Pop to Contemp btw? I've been debating this route instead of the bus hops...

"The precious" is such a perfect term.

The Taxi was in the $10-15 range when we drove back from the Cali. Grill to the Pop.

Before I turn the page - could Grateful Dead be on the list? San Fran and all...

See this for my ideas on that:
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1248798&page=8#108

I also think that Saint-Saëns could work (Danse Macabre). If they wanted something more modern then it would have to be Django Reinhardt. Ahh, Django, even now the tears are welling up in my eyes...

 

[eeyore45]

like every child in Lake Wobegon,

too lazy to add the quotes - but I was interrupted you see, DS and FDIL came over, and DS was watching the History channel, so, we all were watching, and what should apear but Garrison Keilier, as in the HC is doing a special on all fifty states, and we hit upon MN show!! The show is splaining Prairie Home companion - poor FDIL, she never listened to the radio program, and ds made her go see the movie, she just doesnt "get it"...

How do you explain??

DH wanted to know if I added our "laptop horror story" in which DW (me) innocently placed a nice nalgene bottle of water (with ice) next to dh's precious"

I reassured dh I did not!!

I'm trying to explain to dh why I am LOL - so now I'm reading parts to him - and then have to jump to your answer (ie taxi and Aerosmith - quote Mr Silly "I also think that Saint-Saëns could work (Danse Macabre). If they wanted something more modern then it would have to be Django Reinhardt. Ahh, Django, even now the tears are welling up in my eyes..." dh says "OK"

and I havent a clue, but of course dh does...

so I'm really thinking you should get a pair of chacos if you havent already for your next WDW trip... they have velcro, and you will be constantly frwip frwip trying to adjust them... when really you will be admiring them, and using that as an excuse!!!

 

[eeyore45]

Whoa, Mr. Silly. You had me at Pal-Hegel.

Can I get graduate credits for reading this report?

Are there Cliff's Notes?

(I'm at the waa waa waaa... and then I read a clip to dh, and he's like - well actually... Please, stop!! Its beyond me - and then I read this... I really am behind!! )

so...

 

[eeyore45]

I hear YouTube calling your name, Silly. It's time to raise the curtains. It's time to light the lights.

We need to get a digital video camera so we can put stuff on YouTube. That would be so cool. I expect we would wind up with a number of movies of our dog chasing his tail, catching it, but continuing to run in circles, along with movies of other other similarly strange dog behavior.



Thanks.



If there is one thing I really excel at, it's procrastination, so this report has been crawling along like a caterpillar. Or even a snail

Wait - I thought you had a macPro - isnt there a camera built into this thing? Cant you just record one little Muppet tune (great now dh is singing the Bugs Bunny uk songs!! "uk gets no respect" )

YOUTUBE is calling!!

Get on it!! (DD is always using the MacPro to power point one thing or another!!)

Werner Heisenberg is driving down the street when a cop pulls him over. The cop walks up to the car, knocks on the window, and when Werner rolls it down, asks, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?" "No," replies Werner. "But I knew where I was!"

I worry that this joke might not be understood by al

Unfortunately I thought this was like a Far Side "joke" which I just dont see as "funny" but dh and ds' think are hilarious... so I tell it to dh, who burst out laughing... and then tries to 'splain it to me!!

Dh is really enjoying your TR now, and I find myself reading the parts I skim over!!

Sorry, but I feel the need to blather on here about Pooh some more. Another reason that I like the Winnie the Pooh books is because of the message they contain - they are a study in archetypes. While I don't think Jung ever wrote on Pooh, it's a pity, since if he had, I'm sure he'd have had many wonderful things to say. There actually was a book I read long ago that had a bunch of spoof papers of various psychological interpretations of Pooh, and the Jungian one that characterized Roo as Extraverted Sensation Type. But anyway, the nice thing about the stories is that the characters which are the most sympathetic are those who are sincere. Pooh never puts on any airs whatever, but just is who is, and is fine with that. And he's always kind to others. I think that as far as heroes go, he's got a lot going for him. So really one can go into the new Pooh section and rather than being sad at the loss of the submarines and the loss of Mr. Toad's wild ride (oh Walt, if only we had you a little longer I bet that you would have been able to work on more of the Wind in the Willows), and instead try to be a bit more kind and a bit more sincere.

...yadda yadda.... where is mention of the Tao of Pooh? Surely you have that book on your shelf!
(never mind - just read the next reply!! roflol)




Sorry about talking to myself so much - I couldnt help it!!

PS H. where do you get those gnarly shirts for Mr. S? I think my dh has the one your dh wore to the tea party! I'm sure we can be that cultured and refined!! I'm willing to give it a try if Celerystalker thinks its ok!!

 

[cmp1111]

And here's some cage thing, or something. Don't ask me. Haley put the picture in here:

That's just a tad disturbing.

We paired them randomly and had them battle it out in the Star Chamber where two would walk in, but only one could walk out. After the loss of many fine readers we got it down to this list:

Raphael
Donatello
Michelangelo
Leonardo

I was sad when I didn't walk out. Assuming I'm one of the "fine readers" who was lost, of course.

I would like to bring up a term that probably everybody reading this knows, but which deserves additional attention. That word is Philistine. The ancient Philistines lived on the southern coast of Canaan around the time of the arrival of the Israelites. They had picked up maritime skills from the Phoenicians. They were interesting people, and if you were writing a term paper on a topic where you could fit either them or the Phoenicians in, you could have a lot of fun researching. The Philistines were not liked. Not by the Israelites, not by the Romans, not by any people that wrote history. Thus the term later picked up the idea of a person who did not value art, beauty, intellectual pursuits, and/or higher values. That latter sense is the one that might be handy to keep in your back pocket in case it pops up again. The thing that makes all this really messy is that modern archaeology shows that the Philisitines really were an Iron Age culture living amidst the Jews who were still in a Bronze Age. They actually were very sophisticated builders, potters, more sophisticated than their neighbors. But let's not let reality confuse us. Despite the facts, the term means in modern parlance "unsophisticated, unrefined, uncultured."

Now, see, yet again I have learned something from a trip report that I wouldn't expect to have learned from a trip report.

Hence some sunburn or a stubbed toe is worth commenting on 5-10 times an hour, while it's really not worth mentioning alternately throbbing and spiking pains running from one's leg tup to the top of the scalp that continually grow in intensity and make it hard to breathe. But stubbed toes are worthy of a clear loud screaming, "Criminy Crackerswoggle!" and then delivering an epic poem describing the walking up to the stairs, the beginning of the march up the stairs and the gut wrenching agony in the middle of the stairs, when the hero got a stubbed toe. I am an occasional practitioner of this, though I am trying to develop a more balanced approach.

I am quite familiar with this phenomenon.

For pretty much forever I've been obsessed with three things. The ancient Greeks, and flying carpets. You'll note that I did not put math in that list.

So I decided to give Max and S. a vocabulary lesson. The words we went over were, Subtle, Refined, and Elegant.

Nice.

Our negotiators shouted out at the pirates, "Our Tae Bo technique is unstoppable! You outnumber us ten to one, you have no chance!"

I was quite into the Tae Bo DVDs when they first came out, and in fact broke them out for Buzz & Woody to try with me the other day, given their propensity to act out every scene of every Power Rangers episode ever made. So, perhaps I COULD have made it out of the Star Chamber. Just sayin'.

I shoved the gag back in quickly. I just couldn't handle talking monkeys wearing women's clothing at that point.

Well, really, who could blame you?

Me: "Well he did take a blood oath that he betrayed. And they've killed loads of pirates while we were around and you didn't complain then."
H: "Yeah, in that case so long as it's just an undefined 'errand', guess it's okay for them to go for a while."

Glad you worked out that moral dilemma.

I dig Duke Ellington. I could write pages about how awesome Duke Ellington's tunes are. I am happy.

That makes me smile.

Me: "Wow, how cool, they just don't write songs like this anymore..."
Max: "Yes, because the people who made songs like that are dead..."

That Max is one smart dude.

Max: "Hey, wow Sophie, that Band-Aid looks just like your skin."
Sophia: "Yes, Band-aids look like my skin because I have such a nice tan."
The Band-Aid did match her skin tone very well.

My children insist on the character Band-Aids, so they are usually blue or red. I would prefer that those do NOT match their skin tone, but good for Sophie! Also, I think it's kind of cool and yet funny that he noticed this.

All in all another brilliant installment, though I must say that there might not have been enough philosophy and/or ancient religions. The pictures were all terrific! Thanks again for the entertainment, Mr. Silly & H.

 

[Mr. Silly]

DH wanted to know if I added our "laptop horror story" in which DW (me) innocently placed a nice nalgene bottle of water (with ice) next to dh's precious"

I reassured dh I did not!!

I took a glass of water into a meeting room and put it down next to my MacBook Pro. The guy who was sitting next to me is a bit of a spaz, and tends to flail around a bit. At one point he's waving his arm and he knocked the glass so that it tipped over onto the keyboard... That was fun to get cleaned out and dried.

Wait - I thought you had a macPro - isnt there a camera built into this thing? Cant you just record one little Muppet tune (great now dh is singing the Bugs Bunny uk songs!! "uk gets no respect" )

YOUTUBE is calling!!

Get on it!! (DD is always using the MacPro to power point one thing or another!!)

I do have the built in iSight, but it's really not optimal for taking movies of dogs running around since you have to pick up the computer and move it around. I don't want to make movies of me. Nor does the rest of the world want this.

Unfortunately I thought this was like a Far Side "joke" which I just dont see as "funny" but dh and ds' think are hilarious... so I tell it to dh, who burst out laughing... and then tries to 'splain it to me!!

Dh is really enjoying your TR now, and I find myself reading the parts I skim over!!

So do you guys count as one reader or two? Hmmm. For census purposes I'll still count you as one.

PS H. where do you get those gnarly shirts for Mr. S? I think my dh has the one your dh wore to the tea party! I'm sure we can be that cultured and refined!! I'm willing to give it a try if Celerystalker thinks its ok!!

Goodwill is the best source. Clearance racks at dep't stores sometimes work out well too.

I was sad when I didn't walk out. Assuming I'm one of the "fine readers" who was lost, of course.

You fought the good fight.

Now, see, yet again I have learned something from a trip report that I wouldn't expect to have learned from a trip report.

That is my speciality...

That Max is one smart dude.

Indeed.

My children insist on the character Band-Aids, so they are usually blue or red. I would prefer that those do NOT match their skin tone, but good for Sophie! Also, I think it's kind of cool and yet funny that he noticed this.

I was especially amused at how proud Sophie was that her skin tone matched the Band Aids.

All in all another brilliant installment, though I must say that there might not have been enough philosophy and/or ancient religions. The pictures were all terrific! Thanks again for the entertainment, Mr. Silly & H.

Glad you liked it. The ancient history/phil/religion/etc. stuff is one of those things I try not to overdo too much since I could write pages and pages and never escape. So things break off rather abruptly sometimes. Nothing too much...