The real world just hit me in CiCi's

[LuvOrlando]

When I grew up I was with the poor kids and no-one had to steal. They just used what was available such as huffing or keeping a lunch baggie and sniffing white out or sharing - poor kids do a lot more sharing than middle class kids. Being that I have stood on both sides of the tracks I think I have a pretty good view of what's what to do a decent comparison. It's like shoes, if you can afford Jimmy Choos you get them but Jellies work just as well. The only difference is in the status of the product, not the end result. I also don't think theft is a poor person's issue, just look at Bernie Madoff or the guys with ENRON, some people just like the thrill of getting over on others and the high from that is the same whether you are rich or poor. I still stand by my original observation, there really isn't any difference it's just greener where I am now.

BTW, I am not happy to say it at all. When My DH and I moved way from everything we knew we made sacrifices thinking there was a magical place out there different from what we knew, a better place where kids never had to see or deal with the stuff we did. Turns out there isn't and that give us no pleasure, we should have just gotten a place in NYC. I'm so disappointed

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I live in a major city -- IN the city, though I'm fairly affluent, and my kids go to private schools instead of the rather rough public schools in the district. Every kid in DS' grade school knows, and the cops who live in our neighborhood also do, that the majority of kids who get hooked young on the really high-octane drugs tend to go to the schools in the very most affluent suburban districts, because they can afford the habit. When you are 14 yo and your allowance is $200/week, a little blow is not beyond your means; you can buy it with your parents none the wiser. Poorer urban kids do know where to get it, but most of them can't afford it unless they start stealing, which makes them all the more likely to get caught, and to get caught up in the city's far more punitive drug court. If the suburban kids get caught they get a slap on the wrist and a nice trip to Hazelden, and then go right back to the same schools where their supplier is handy once again.

I am in the middle surburban area and the kids get sent to Juvie and then back to school. They wear it like a badge of honor. It makes them "popular".

This year just seems so much worse for my dd's age group. The kids are really going hardcore pretty quickly. It is sad.

With our area, parents are working all the time to make ends meet and kids are left to do their own thing.

 

[Arielle22]

I grew up in Boston and went to private school. Even at a Catholic all girls high school 30 years ago we knew of the students who got drunk and had sex. School dances were cancelled after Jr year because a classmate was found under the bleaches with 2 guys having sex.

DH17 is in a different high school from DH15. Both tell me how many students are doing drugs and drinking. Both stay away from these activities. Each has stopped associating with girls who got into drugs or alcohol because they didn't want to be around those activities.

It is tough when you first realize your child has to deal with this reality but at least they talk to you about it so you can give them your viewpoint.

 

[krcit]

I still live where I grew up. Difference is that my kids go to public school whereas I went to Catholic. Live in a middle class surburban neighborhood. When I was in 7th-8th grade, kids were drinking and having sex.. Didn't really here much about drugs until high school. I have a dd in high school. She tells me that pretty much everyone(typical teen exageration) drinks and smokes pot or takes 'pills'. So far, she doesn't. Biggest difference between when I was growing up and her growing up? I am aware of what she does and where she goes(not too many places actually) if she is sleeping at her friends, I call the mom to make sure that she will be home, if she wants to go to a party then I do the same...probably why she doesn't go out much My mom was oblivious...she was loving and caring but the thought that I would be doing stuff like drinking and fooling around with boys didn't even enter her head. I was also smart about it...if I had to go home after a party then I didn't drink, if I was sleeping at a friends then I did. She is my oldest and she is a great kid but she's a kid and I will do my best to keep her safe. So far so good but it could all change tomorrow. I will just do my best to try to keep on top of it. So, I guess my long-winded point is that kids have been doing drugs and drinking forever and all you can do is talk, talk,talk to them and keep your eyes open.