The Random Thread and The Endless Nights of Baseball Discussions

[DisneyRockstar]

What do you do with a B.A. in English,
What is my life going to be?
Four years of college and plenty of knowledge,
Have earned me this useless degree.

I can't pay the bills yet,
'Cause I have no skills yet,
The world is a big scary place.

But somehow I can't shake,
The feeling I might make,
A difference,
To the human race.

Morning, Brian.

Hi, Kate Monster.

How's life?

Disappointing.

What's the matter?

The catering company laid me off.

 

[AmandaSparks730]

True, true.

HAHA. They will both be 99 in 86 years! and actually, the curse started a like in '07 bc the RS haven't won the WS since '06. So technically, they will be 96 years old

Oh yeah, being one of the Random Thread princes XD



Until death! For me atleast.



Red Sox Nation

*insert your birthday here* is a National Holiday. Like the Queen's Birthday in England. XD.

 

[DisneyRockstar]

KATE MONSTER
Morning, Brian!

BRIAN
Hi, Kate Monster.

KATE MONSTER
How's life?

BRIAN
Disappointing!

KATE MONSTER
What's the matter?

BRIAN
The caterine company
laid me off.

KATE MONSTER
Oh, I'm sorry!

BRIAN
Me too! I mean, look at me!
I'm ten years out of college, and I
always thought -

KATE MONSTER
What?

BRIAN
No, it sounds stupid.

KATE MONSTER
Aww, come on!

BRIAN
When I was little
I thought I would be...

KATE MONSTER
What?

BRIAN
A big comedian
on late night TV
But now I'm thirty-two
And as you can see
I'm not

KATE MONSTER
Nope!

BRIAN
Oh Well,
It sucks to be me.

KATE MONSTER
Nooo.

BRIAN
It sucks to be me.

KATE MONSTER
No!

BRIAN
It sucks to be broke
and unemployed
and turning thirty-three.
It sucks to be me.

KATE MONSTER
Oh, you think your life sucks?

BRIAN
I think so.

KATE MONSTER
Your problems aren't so bad!
I'm kinda pretty
And pretty damn smart.

BRIAN
You are.

KATE MONSTER
Thanks!
I like romantic things
Like music and art.
And as you know
I have a gigantic heart
So why don't I have
A boyfriend?
----!
It sucks to be me!

BRIAN
Me too.

KATE MONSTER
It sucks to be me.

BRIAN
It sucks to be me.
It sucks to be Brian...

KATE MONSTER
And Kate...

BRIAN
To not have a job!

KATE MONSTER
To not have a date!

BOTH
It sucks to be me.

BRIAN
Hey, ROd, Nicky, can you
settle something for us?
Do you have a second?

ROD
Ah, certainly.

KATE MONSTER
Whose life sucks more?
Brian's or mine?

NICKY AND ROD
Ours!

ROD
We live together.

NICKY
We're as close
As people can get.

ROD
We've been the best
of buddies...

NICKY
Ever since the
Day we met.

ROD
So he knows lots
Of ways to make me
Really upset.
Oh, every day is
An aggravation.

NICKY
Come on, that's
an exaggeration!

ROD
You leave your
clothes out.
You put your feet
On my chair.

NICKY
Oh yeah?
You do such anal
Things like ironing
Your underwear.

ROD
You make that very
Small apartment
We share a hell.

NICKY
So do you,
That's why I'm in hell too!

ROD
It sucks to be me!

NICKY
No, it sucks to be me!

KATE MONSTER
It sucks to be me!

BRIAN
It sucks to be me!

ALL
Is there anybody here
It doesn't suck to be?
It sucks to be me!

CHRISTMAS EVE
Why you all so happy?

NICKY
Becuase our lives suck!

CHRISTMAS EVE
Your lives suck?
I hearing you correctly? Ha!
I coming to this country
For opportunities.
Tried to work in
Korean deli
But I am Japanese.
But with hard work
I earn two Master's Degrees
In social work!
And now I a therapist!
But I have no clients
And I have an
Unemployed fiance'!
And we have lots
Of bills to pay!
It suck to be me!
It suck to be me!
I say it
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-
Suck!
It suck to be me!

PRINCETON
Excuse me?

BRIAN
Hey there.

PRINCETON
Sorry to bother you, but I'm
looking for a place to live.

CHRISTMAS EVE
Why you looking all
the way out here?

PRINCETON
Well, I started at Avenue A,
but so far everything is out
of my price range. But this
neighborhood looks a lot cheaper!
Oh, and look - a "For Rent" sign!

BRIAN
You need to talk to
the superintendent.
Let me get him.

PRINCETON
Great, thanks!

BRIAN
Yo, Gary!

GARY COLEMAN
I'm comin'! I'm comin'!

PRINCETON
Oh my God!
It's Gary Coleman!

GARY COLEMAN
Yes I am!
I'm Gary Coleman
From TV's
Diff'rent Strokes
I made a lotta money
That got stolen
By my folks!
Now I'm broke and
I'm the butt
Of everyone's jokes,
But I'm here -
The Superintendent!
On Avenue Q -

ALL
It sucks to be you.

KATE MONSTER
You win!

ALL
It sucks to be you.

BRIAN
I feel better now!

GARY COLEMAN
Try having people
stopping you to ask you
"What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
It gets old.

ALL
It sucks to be you
On Avenue Q
(Sucks to be me)
On Avenue Q
(Sucks to be you)
On Avenue Q
(Sucks to be us)
But not when
We're together.
We're together
Here on Avenue Q!
We live on Avenue Q!
Our friends do too!
'Til our dreams
Come true,
We live on Avenue Q!

PRINCETON
This is real life!

ALL
We live on Avenue Q!

NICKY
You're gonna love it!

ALL
We live on Avenue Q!

GARY COLEMAN
Here's your keys!

ALL
Welcome to Avenue Q!

 

[MickeyisBeast]

Oh yeah, being one of the Random Thread princes XD



Until death! For me atleast.



Red Sox Nation

red.sox.nation.

Red Sox Nation?
Never heard of it.
Sounds stupid though.
Yankee Country!
NOW THERE'S A COUNTRY!

Haha look! Yankee country takes up all of the USA! Except for that little state right there...

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Nah, it can happen again.



OKAY I'LL START MAKING MY LIST NOW.

OKAY, YOU DO THAT.

What do you do with a B.A. in English,
What is my life going to be?
Four years of college and plenty of knowledge,
Have earned me this useless degree.

I can't pay the bills yet,
'Cause I have no skills yet,
The world is a big scary place.

But somehow I can't shake,
The feeling I might make,
A difference,
To the human race.

Morning, Brian.

Hi, Kate Monster.

How's life?

Disappointing.

What's the matter?

The catering company laid me off.

I'm kind of pretty, and pretty damn smart

You are!

Thanks!

I like romantic things like music and art. And as you know I have a gigantic heart. So why....don't I have a boyfriend! f**k! It sucks to be me!

 

[Stitch4Prez]

True, true.

HAHA. They will both be 99 in 86 years! and actually, the curse started a like in '07 bc the RS haven't won the WS since '06. So technically, they will be 96 years old

96 is a good age to die XD

Nah, it can happen again.



OKAY I'LL START MAKING MY LIST NOW.

It won't. I'm gonna get rich and buy the franchise and we shall win 30 WS in 40 years

*insert your birthday here* is a National Holiday. Like the Queen's Birthday in England. XD.

Woot!

 

[DisneyRockstar]

ROD
Aah, an afternoon alone with
My favorite book, "Broadway
Musicals of the 1940s."
No roommate to bother me.
How could it get any better than this?

NICKY
Oh,hi Rod!

ROD
Hi Nicky.

NICKY
Hey Rod, you'll never
Guess what happened to
Me on the subway this morning.
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me

ROD
That's very interesting.

NICKY
He was being real friendly,
And I think he was coming on to me.
I think he might've thought I was gay!

ROD
Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?
Why should I care?
I don't care.
What did you have for lunch today?

NICKY
Oh, you don't have to get
All defensive about it, Rod...

ROD
I'm NOT getting defensive!
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?
I'm trying to read.

NICKY
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod.
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.

ROD
I don't want to talk about it,
Nicky! This conversation is over!!!

NICKY
Yeah, but...

ROD
OVER!!!

NICKY
Well, okay, but just so you know �
IF YOU WERE GAY
THAT'D BE OKAY.
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.
BECAUSE YOU SEE,
IF IT WERE ME,
I WOULD FEEL FREE
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)

ROD
Nicky, please!
I am trying to read....
What?!

NICKY
IF YOU WERE QUEER

ROD
Ah, Nicky!

NICKY
I'D STILL BE HERE,

ROD
Nicky, I'm trying to read this book.

NICKY
YEAR AFTER YEAR

ROD
Nicky!

NICKY
BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR
TO ME,

ROD
Argh!

NICKY
AND I KNOW THAT YOU

ROD
What?

NICKY
WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,

ROD
I would?

NICKY
IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,
I'M GAY!"
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)
I'M HAPPY
JUST BEING WITH YOU.

ROD
High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...

NICKY
SO WHAT SHOULD IT
MATTER TO ME
WHAT YOU DO IN BED
WITH GUYS?

ROD
Nicky, that's GROSS!

NICKY
No it's not!
IF YOU WERE GAY
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!

ROD
I am not listening!

NICKY
AND HERE I'D STAY,

ROD
La la la la la!

NICKY
BUT I WOULDN'T GET
IN YOUR WAY.

ROD
Aaaah!

NICKY
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME
TO ALWAYS BE
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,
YOU WERE JUST BORN
THAT WAY,
AND, AS THEY SAY,
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,
YOU'RE GAY!

ROD
BUT I'M NOT GAY!

NICKY
If you were gay.

ROD
Argh!

 

[CowboyErin]

LUCY:
It's amazing how fast word of these surveys gets around. (Linus enters.) Oh Linus, I'm glad you're here. I'm conducting a survey and there are a few questions I'd like to ask you.

LINUS:
Sure, go ahead.

LUCY:
The first question is: on a scale of zero to one hundred, with a standard of fifty as average, seventy-five as above average and ninety as exceptional, where would you rate me with regards to crabbiness?

LINUS:
(He laughs.) You're my big sister.

LUCY:
That's not the question.

LINUS:
No, but that's the answer.

LUCY:
Come on, Linus, answer the question.

LINUS:
Look, Lucy, I know very well that if I give any sort of honest answer to that question you're going to slug me.

LUCY:
Linus. A survey that is not based on honest answers is like a house that is built on a foundation of sand. Would I be spending my time to conduct this survey if I didn't expect complete candor in all the responses? I promise not to slug you. Now what number would you give me as your crabbiness rating?

LINUS:
Ninety-five. (She punches him very hard.)

LUCY:
NO decent person could be expected to keep her word with a rating over ninety.
Now, I add these two columns and that gives me my answer. There, it's all done. Now, let's see what we've got. It's true. I'm a crabby person. I'm very crabby person and everybody knows it. I've been spreading crabbiness wherever I go. I'm a super crab. It's a wonder anyone will still talk to me. It's a wonder I have any friends at all... or even associates. I've done nothing but make life miserable for everyone. I've done nothing but breed unhappiness and resentment. Where did I go wrong? How could I be so selfish? How could...

LINUS
What's wrong, Lucy?

LUCY:
Don't talk to me, Linus. I don't deserve to be spoken to. I don't deserve to breathe the air I breathe. I'm no good, Linus. I'm no good.

LINUS:
That's not true.

LUCY:
Yes it is. I'm no good, and there's no reason at all why I should go on living on the face of this earth.

LINUS:
Yes there is.

LUCY:
Name one. Just tell me one single reason why I should still deserve to go on living on this planet.

LINUS:
Well, for one thing, you have a little brother who loves you. (Lucy is silent for a minute and then burst into tears)
Every now and then I say the right thing.

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Red Sox Nation?
Never heard of it.
Sounds stupid though.
Yankee Country!
NOW THERE'S A COUNTRY!

Haha look! Yankee country takes up all of the USA! Except for that little state right there...

Sweetie, RI is RSN, too. And CT. And every other NE state.

 

[Stitch4Prez]

Red Sox Nation?
Never heard of it.
Sounds stupid though.
Yankee Country!
NOW THERE'S A COUNTRY!

Haha look! Yankee country takes up all of the USA! Except for that little state right there...

To think whoever made that believes it XD
So sad.

 

[Stitch4Prez]

Sweetie, RI is RSN, too. And CT. And every other NE state.

And Florida

 

[AmandaSparks730]

96 is a good age to die XD



It won't. I'm gonna get rich and buy the franchise and we shall win 30 WS in 40 years



Woot!

Your dying words will be a phone call to Sair-a:

"HA. HA."

ROD
Aah, an afternoon alone with
My favorite book, "Broadway
Musicals of the 1940s."
No roommate to bother me.
How could it get any better than this?

NICKY
Oh,hi Rod!

ROD
Hi Nicky.

NICKY
Hey Rod, you'll never
Guess what happened to
Me on the subway this morning.
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me

ROD
That's very interesting.

NICKY
He was being real friendly,
And I think he was coming on to me.
I think he might've thought I was gay!

ROD
Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?
Why should I care?
I don't care.
What did you have for lunch today?

NICKY
Oh, you don't have to get
All defensive about it, Rod...

ROD
I'm NOT getting defensive!
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?
I'm trying to read.

NICKY
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod.
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.

ROD
I don't want to talk about it,
Nicky! This conversation is over!!!

NICKY
Yeah, but...

ROD
OVER!!!

NICKY
Well, okay, but just so you know �
IF YOU WERE GAY
THAT'D BE OKAY.
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.
BECAUSE YOU SEE,
IF IT WERE ME,
I WOULD FEEL FREE
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)

ROD
Nicky, please!
I am trying to read....
What?!

NICKY
IF YOU WERE QUEER

ROD
Ah, Nicky!

NICKY
I'D STILL BE HERE,

ROD
Nicky, I'm trying to read this book.

NICKY
YEAR AFTER YEAR

ROD
Nicky!

NICKY
BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR
TO ME,

ROD
Argh!

NICKY
AND I KNOW THAT YOU

ROD
What?

NICKY
WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,

ROD
I would?

NICKY
IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,
I'M GAY!"
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)
I'M HAPPY
JUST BEING WITH YOU.

ROD
High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...

NICKY
SO WHAT SHOULD IT
MATTER TO ME
WHAT YOU DO IN BED
WITH GUYS?

ROD
Nicky, that's GROSS!

NICKY
No it's not!
IF YOU WERE GAY
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!

ROD
I am not listening!

NICKY
AND HERE I'D STAY,

ROD
La la la la la!

NICKY
BUT I WOULDN'T GET
IN YOUR WAY.

ROD
Aaaah!

NICKY
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME
TO ALWAYS BE
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,
YOU WERE JUST BORN
THAT WAY,
AND, AS THEY SAY,
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,
YOU'RE GAY!

ROD
BUT I'M NOT GAY!

NICKY
If you were gay.

ROD
Argh!

One of the best songs, ever. Besides "My Girlfriend, Who Lives in Canada".

 

[MickeyisBeast]

Sweetie, RI is RSN, too. And CT. And every other NE state.

I'm pretty sure, the map said RI is part of Yankee Country.
Yeah IT DID.

To think whoever made that believes it XD
So sad.

Obama made it.
YOU MAKIN' FUN OF THE PRESIDENT?

 

[AmandaSparks730]

And Florida

AND FLORIDA!

To think whoever made that believes it XD
So sad.

 

[DisneyRockstar]

in my opinion, the funniest song on the Avenue Q soundtrack
KATE
The internet is really really great
TREKKIE MONSTER
For porn
KATE
I�ve got a fast connection so i dont have to wait
TREKKIE
For porn
KATE
Huh?
There's always some new site,
TREKKIE
For porn!
I browse all day and night
TREKKIE
For porn!
KATE
It's like im surfing at the speed of light
TREKKIE
For porn!
KATE
Trekkie!

TREKKIE
The internet is for porn
KATE
Trekkie!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn,
KATE
What are you doing!?
TREKKIE
Why you think the net was born?
Porn porn porn

KATE
Treeekkie!
TREKKIE
Oh hello kate monster
KATE
You are ruining my song
TREKKIE
Oh me sorry, me no mean to
KATE
Well if you wouldnt mind please being quiet for a minute so i can finish?
TREKKIE
Me no talkie
KATE
Good

Im glad we have this new technology
TREKKIE
For porn
KATE
Which gives us untold opportunity
TREKKIE
For poroops, sorry
KATE
Right from you own desktop
TREKKIE
For ---
KATE
You can research browse and shop
Until youve had enough and your ready to stop
TREKKIE
FOR PORN!!


Trekkie!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn!
KATE
Noooo
TREKKIE
The internet if for porn!
KATE
Trekkie
TREKKIE
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!

KATE
Thats gross youre a pervert
TREKKIE
Ah, sticks and stones Kate monster
KATE
NO really, your a pervert
Normal people dont sit at home and look
At porn on the internet
TREKKIE
Ohhhh?
KATE
What?!
TREKKIE
You have no idea
Ready normal people?

NORMAL PEOPLE
Ready--- ready ----ready

TREKKIE
Let me hear it!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
PRINCETON
Sorry kate
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
PRINCETON
I ----------!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
All these guys unzip their flies
For porn, porn, porn!

KATE
The internet is not for porn!!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
PORN!, PORN, P---

KATE
HOLD ON A SECOND!

Now i know for a fact that you, Rob, check your portfolio and trade stocks online

ROB
Thats correct.

KATE
And Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com

BRIAN
Sure!

KATE
And Gary, you keep selling your possesions on Ebay

GARY
Yes I do!

KATE
And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card

PRINCETON
True!

TREKKIE
Oh, but Kate-
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?

PRINCETON
. .yeah

KATE
EEEWWWWW!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
KATE
Gross!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
KATE
I hate porn
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Grab your ---- and double click
KATE
I hate you men!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
For porn, porn, porn!
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn
KATE
Im leaving!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn
porn, porn, porn, porn
KATE
I hate the internet!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn

TREKKIE
The internet is for

TREKKIE AND SOME
The internet is for

TREKKIE AND ALL
The internet is for PORN!

TREKKIE
YEAH!

 

[AmandaSparks730]

 

[MickeyisBeast]

Your dying words will be a phone call to Sair-a:

"HA. HA."



One of the best songs, ever. Besides "My Girlfriend, Who Lives in Canada".

I'm pretty sure I will be like a year or more older than Zack when he dies, so I'll probably already be dead.

And Florida

LOL, if anything not Florida.
I go down there, I can't walk two steps without seeing some person wearing a Yankees hat! Or a TB hat.

 

[Stitch4Prez]

Your dying words will be a phone call to Sair-a:

"HA. HA."



One of the best songs, ever. Besides "My Girlfriend, Who Lives in Canada".

 

[AmandaSparks730]

I'm pretty sure, the map said RI is part of Yankee Country.
Yeah IT DID.



Obama made it.
YOU MAKIN' FUN OF THE PRESIDENT?

Ah, but the map, it lies!

 

[MickeyisBeast]

Hmm... yeah... I'm not going to disagree with that.