The Pre-Guilt-Trip Report - Almost Cancelled - New Wrinkle

[disndatworld]

We will be taking a "Guilt-Trip" to WDW in about 20 days - and so that makes this The Pre-Guilt-Trip Report.

My DW and I have been raising kids and doing life so long that officially, we have never really been able to do any travel that was not "business" related without them.

I have had to travel for work, and taken DW and maybe one of the kids, or gone to conferences and taken DW and maybe one of the kids... but NEVER, in the last 16 years have we really been able to take a trip with just DW and I. Europe? Nope. California? Not really. Caribbean? We wish. How else can I say it? If there is $$$ for a vacation, and there is time for a vacation we have always do a family trip. It's fun. I'm convinced. Well, I'm nearly convinced. It's also hard to get somebody to watch 3 kids. I have DS16, DD13 & DS9 and with 3 different schools, and all the work of taking care of them it's not really possible to leave them behind anyway.

Until now. Until this very moment... err, Month, I should say. Because this month DW and I are going to WDW. No kids. No Guilt. Maybe no kids. Maybe no guilt.

It started off as an interesting financial topic:

Me: "Oh look, honey. Oil prices are down so much we could travel to Orlando Int'l for $140 round-trip each on Southwest airlines".
DW: "That's amazing. How much for us and the kids?"
Me: "Kids are not allowed on these flights."
DW: blank stare


But, seriously... the prices were amazing. We were talking to each other like we should go down for the weekend. Get some dinner. Maybe a night at EPCOT; "Le Cellier" is what she said. She loves the French, I guess. I am French. Go figure. $140 round trip. I mean, that's cheaper than going to NYC. They were direct flights. I was kind of wondering if we would have to load our bags or serve as flight-attendants or something.

So a few nights before Christmas I said "I'm getting you a Christmas present and we're going to spend a few days at Disney. Are you ok with that?" We had no idea what to do with the kids, or anything, but she said "YES!" and so I bought the tickets. It must have been all that rich food we ate over the holidays that made her mind foggy.

So my question to anyone reading this post is: Can you please watch our kids? Just kidding.

Reactions:

Sir Isaac Newton's Third Law of motion is simple: "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction". That "re-action" was coming next.

For every cheap flight that a parent makes away from the kids, it will cost you dearly. So that $280 (total) payment for 2 to Southwest Airlines was the action. The re-action was the $280 I had to pay to fly my mom to come stay with the kids. And the KIDS would have their own reaction later to hearing the news that Grandma was coming to watch them and they could not go.

Now... a couple of things.

1) The kids are older. We used to pull them out of school in elementary and middle-school for a trip every couple of years to WDW. But they are older. They have responsibilities, and they really can't miss school. They will simply fall too far behind. And besides we have put a roof over their head, and loved them when they were sometimes... well, unloveable. And it was time for us to take a trip without them.

2) We are taking a trip to Orlando with them this April for Spring break. They will be with family & cousins and will have the time of their lives. This is the same logic I used on DW. There should be NO GUILT involved.

BUT, reactions are what reactions are. And in our home, leaving the kids behind on a magical WDW vacation is a big deal... I guess... to DW. I think I am ok with it.

I think I'll leave it here for this post. We are only 20 days away. I booked CSR for 6 nights. Way longer than she originally agreed. We have dining & FP+ taken care of.

Thanks for reading this if you've gotten this far. I'll be back.

 

[disndatworld]

Here's a picture of us on our last trip in April 2013

Can't wait for new memories!

 

[floralmouse]

Awesome! DH and I are going with out the little (she's my granddaughter but she lives with us) and she doesn't know it, yet. I'm not telling her until the day before I leave. We haven't been anywhere by ourselves since 2008 and we need this.

 

[disndatworld]

Awesome! DH and I are going with out the little (she's my granddaughter but she lives with us) and she doesn't know it, yet. I'm not telling her until the day before I leave. We haven't been anywhere by ourselves since 2008 and we need this.

Thanks for the reply! I hope you enjoy your trip. I definitely know what you mean about needing some time.

 

[Gracefulskinny]

Adult only trips are fun! Not only that but necessary sometimes. When the guilt comes in remind her that everyone needs a break at times and taking this time will make her a better mommy.

 

[yeheyprincex2]

Oh man, I have not been a parent as long as you have been but I do know the need to want a couples trip. Last year my DH and I were close to taking a trip last summer to Universal just the two of us, my mother even agreed to watch our two boy (1 & 3 years) at the time. But my husband chickened out and we didn't go. I'm a stay at home mom so I was willing to take a few days off.

Hope you guys have a great time and that the guilt melts away as you enjoy your selves on the trip.

 

[techtony]

1. Good for you guys!!!!

2. Gutsy move! I would have disowned my parents and immediately filed for emancipation in court after hearing my parents were going without me.

3. Get ready to shell out even more money than you had intended in the years to come! There will be very expensive therapy to follow for each kid, and the oldest will likely end up in rehab by the age of 19. I heard that Malibu Passages is good - they have acupuncture and personal plunge pools in every room. This is all part of that re-action thing you spoke of earlier.

Just kidding of course on #3....maybe.

I think that when someone has children, they are supposed to be anchored to that child and have no fun for yourself until they reach the age of 18. Of course, this could also be the thing that saves your marriage. In all seriousness - I have a story that I love to tell people. It is serious, no joking from here on...

My BF Amy is married to a wonderful man by the name of Dave. They hated each other when they first met. Literally, she hated him. Time went on and the third grade "I will act like I hate the person because I don't want then to know that I really like them" act wore off. They dated for 4 years, then got married and five years after that decided to have children. Fast Forward to now.... The kids are 11 and 8. Adorable kids really.

One day I visited Amy ay her home around the time her husband, Dave came home. When he came through the door - the kids ran up to him shouting and saying hello, demanding to be picked up, etc. He swept them tot he side and said "You know better...Mommy First!". The kids stood to the side while she got up, kissed and hugged him and proceeded to tell each other about their day. It was as if NO ONE ELSE WAS AROUND. After their greeting, he then took the kids in turn, playing, wrestling, hugging, etc.

I was appalled at first and took Amy to the side and asked why you would sweep the kids to the side - aren't they the most important things in your life?

This is what stuck with me forever after that day.... She said "Me and Dave were Me and Dave before we had kids. We will continue to be Me and Dave after the kids leave the nest."

She is right! Kids are important, but if you want to be together through your entire life journey - you MUST still be Amy and Dave after the kids, because you will not always be Amy, Dave and the kids, you will eventually go back to being just Amy and Dave.

Good Luck to you guys. I hope you don't feel guilt about your trip. Your kids will get over it and your relationship will grow stronger - I promise.

 

[disndatworld]

Adult only trips are fun! Not only that but necessary sometimes. When the guilt comes in remind her that everyone needs a break at times and taking this time will make her a better mommy.

Thanks for the note. I'll do my best to help her put it behind her!

Oh man, I have not been a parent as long as you have been but I do know the need to want a couples trip. Last year my DH and I were close to taking a trip last summer to Universal just the two of us, my mother even agreed to watch our two boy (1 & 3 years) at the time. But my husband chickened out and we didn't go. I'm a stay at home mom so I was willing to take a few days off.

Hope you guys have a great time and that the guilt melts away as you enjoy your selves on the trip.

I totally understand that. Young children really make a difference. We have been through that before too - penciled in plans that we didn't see through because of younger children. I can tell you as they get older you can at least get to the grocery store and even a night out to dinner without dragging everybody along. In fact, many times the older ones, especially, would prefer not to go. Hang in there!

One day I visited Amy ay her home around the time her husband, Dave came home. When he came through the door - the kids ran up to him shouting and saying hello, demanding to be picked up, etc. He swept them tot he side and said "You know better...Mommy First!". The kids stood to the side while she got up, kissed and hugged him and proceeded to tell each other about their day. It was as if NO ONE ELSE WAS AROUND. After their greeting, he then took the kids in turn, playing, wrestling, hugging, etc.

I was appalled at first and took Amy to the side and asked why you would sweep the kids to the side - aren't they the most important things in your life?

This is what stuck with me forever after that day.... She said "Me and Dave were Me and Dave before we had kids. We will continue to be Me and Dave after the kids leave the nest."

Sounds like a couple after my own heart.

 

[disndatworld]

Day 1 - Travel day & arrival will be kind of late. We are just going to go back to the hotel/resort (CSR) and chill
Day 2 - MK with a early evening meal at The Wave (Contemporary)
Day 3 - EP with late afternoon meal at Le Cellier
Day 4 - DHS with lunch at 50's Prime Time Cafe & Dinner at Boma (AKL)
Day 5 - MK with late evening dinner at the Crystal Palace (I will probably cancel & get something else for dinner)
Day 6 - EP with late afternoon meal at Teppan Edo
Day 7 - AK with lunch at Yak & Yeti / Travel home

FP+ was largely easy to reserve. Don't care about A&E. We did get the D7K or whatever it is called. Also chose Soarin' over TT at EPCOT (hope that was the right choice).

I received my DME tags in the mail today... but I called because they only sent 1 per person. We need 2 bags each. Need is maybe a strong word... but it is January so it's kind of like we will be overpacking a bit since the weather can go either way.

Getting excited!!!

 

[disndatworld]

Woke up today - 2 weeks before we depart for WDW - and got an email that our magic-bands are shipping!

It's so cold here we cannot WAIT to get out of town. We will soon be enjoying much better weather, and all the magic of our trip!

 

[Wood Nymph]

We're going to WDW two weeks from today, too. I know what you mean about needing extra clothes for January. The nights will definitely get chilly. And we are also going to be in WDW in April, so both our trips will overlap.

Our kids are grown now but the first time we went to WDW without them we felt a little guilty, too. But the guilty feelings didn't last long. After all, we definitely deserved to spend our hard earned money on ourselves. And parents need a break from their kids just as much as kids need a break from their parents.

 

[disndatworld]

We're going to WDW two weeks from today, too. I know what you mean about needing extra clothes for January. The nights will definitely get chilly. And we are also going to be in WDW in April, so both our trips will overlap.

Our kids are grown now but the first time we went to WDW without them we felt a little guilty, too. But the guilty feelings didn't last long. After all, we definitely deserved to spend our hard earned money on ourselves. And parents need a break from their kids just as much as kids need a break from their parents.

Sue - Thanks for the comment! Parenting is tough work... which deserves a time to recharge here & there.

 

[disndatworld]

I just had to leave a digital crumb behind that our Magic Bands arrived today!!! Only 11 days to go.

My mom (who will be watching the kids) is kind of making us nervous. "I hope the kids get 5 snow days." "Can somebody bring a meal or two?" "I'm not used to getting up early" - She's 60 yrs old. But I don't think it should be too hard.

What's the worst thing that could go wrong?!?

 

[JAMIESMITH]

We may run into each other! All our park days are the same except AK and HS.

 

[jamieann]

My husband and I will be there at the same time! We don't have kids yet, but we already talk about how important it is to take trips just the two of us even after kids come along. No guilt allowed! Hope y'all have a magical trip and maybe we'll run into you!

 

[disndatworld]

We may run into each other! All our park days are the same except AK and HS.

Awesome, Jamie! Enjoy your trip. So close now.

 

[disndatworld]

My husband and I will be there at the same time! We don't have kids yet, but we already talk about how important it is to take trips just the two of us even after kids come along. No guilt allowed! Hope y'all have a magical trip and maybe we'll run into you!

Hi, Jamie!

Thanks for the comments. I hope you enjoy your trip. I can certainly say things have changed a lot from when we were younger and without kids... but we still love to be together and are really looking forward to our trip! Thanks, again & enjoy.

 

[disndatworld]

So some things have changed, and while I wish the events didn't happen as they did, I'm thankful things are working out.

Last Sunday my oldest DS16 broke his hand. His bone could not be reset manually and required surgery. Unfortunately, nobody could get him in for surgery this week and we were going to have to cancel the trip.

My SIL works with a hospital, and told our story to one of the orthopedic surgeons who agreed to have an early morning-consult, and fit him into his round of surgeries yesterday. Everything was a success, and thankfully he is on the mend now.

We did decide to take our youngest son with us, DS9. My mom, who will be watching the kids, has limitations... and caring for DS16 (with a casted arm), and DD13 is going to be enough for her.

So, DW & I are still able to take our 'alone' vacation... but with a kid-in-tow

Such is life. I think we are both secretly looking forward to this time with him. He has no idea. We were able to add him to our resort reservation, and get him on all our ADR's including all our FP+. We didn't have to change anything.

So we are scheduled to take off tomorrow... in the middle of a snow-storm. So obstacles are always in the way!!!

 

[tina.tina]

I just happened to see your thread this morning- your title caught my eye [while I am avoiding Calculus homework]. I was happy [jealous] to read about a couple of parents who were getting away for some alone time- especially at WDW. I always backed out of overnight getaways when the kids were younger. But, when we would get away for day trips, I'd always have fun with DH and wish we were staying overnight.

I am genuinely sorry about your DS's hand and that your alone trip got cancelled. I know grandparents can get overwhelmed. I think you will still have a great time and it will be very beneficial to you and your DS9 to get some quality time together. Sometimes, my DD(almost 14) is more dramatic and overshadows my DS9 who is more easy going. If I were you, though, I would check into some of the childcare centers at WDW. If we were friends IRL, I would volunteer to watch your kid.

I hope the snowstorm doesn't further disrupt your plans.

 

[disndatworld]

I just happened to see your thread this morning- your title caught my eye [while I am avoiding Calculus homework]. I was happy [jealous] to read about a couple of parents who were getting away for some alone time- especially at WDW. I always backed out of overnight getaways when the kids were younger. But, when we would get away for day trips, I'd always have fun with DH and wish we were staying overnight.

I am genuinely sorry about your DS's hand and that your alone trip got cancelled. I know grandparents can get overwhelmed. I think you will still have a great time and it will be very beneficial to you and your DS9 to get some quality time together. Sometimes, my DD(almost 14) is more dramatic and overshadows my DS9 who is more easy going. If I were you, though, I would check into some of the childcare centers at WDW. If we were friends IRL, I would volunteer to watch your kid.

I hope the snowstorm doesn't further disrupt your plans.

What a nice and awesome note! We will still have a blast. DS9 is going to go crazy when he finds out he's going tomorrow. He thinks he's going to his cousin's house (right by the airport). When we get to the airport we're going to give him the news.