The memorial service was beautiful

[Lars624]

Tammi~
That sounds like a beautiful way to honor your Dad Thank you so much for sharing the story & the pictures with us.

 

[Disney Ella]

What a nice service! I've never been to a service at a private home, but I think it would be much nicer and more intimate than a funeral home or church. I will be keeping your family in my thoughts.

 

[snoopy]

I'm in tears reading this, partly for you, and partly remembering when I lost my own Dad, I was probably a little younger than you, and certainly not as mature and composed.

I am so glad that the memorial went well, that Michael and his parents were there for you and your Mom, as well as your Dad's friends and co-workers.

Tammi, I won't lie to you, today and next week are going to be the hardest days you will face. After everyone goes home,and you have to go back to work and back to life as usual, that is when it gets hard. I have no doubt you will get through it, but don't you forget that you have MANY friends here who adore you and would do anything to comfort you if you need it. I personally think of you as a little sister, always have, and my heart just breaks for you. You let me know if you ever need anything, or just someone to talk to.

Please do keep posting your "diaries" if that is what makes yoiu feel most comfortable, we all express ourselves in different ways. I can identify with so much of what you have said over the past few days, even though our situations are different.

 

[Aprille]

Sounds like a lovely memorial service and tribute to your dad. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and pictures. Our continued prayers go out to you, your mom and the rest of the family.

 

[DisneyObsessed]

What a nice and personal way to remember your father. I wish I had thought of doing something at home instead of a cold, big funeral home. What a great idea. I hope you're enjoying some of that food. Take good care of yourself.

 

[Laurabearz]

I am quickly approaching the 5th aniversary of my fathers death... Feb. 12th.

I have read all your posts and I want to thank you... Thanks for taking the time to share what you are going thru, I hope it has helped you some, and I know it has made a huge impact on me.

I still mourn my father, and prolly will forever, but time smooths out all the sharp edges, and life goes on.

Hang in there....

Thanks.

 

[Rajah]

Snoops -- thanks, big sis. As for going back to work... that's the part that is going to be the hardest for me, in the near-term anyway.

I lived without contact with my dad beyond a hello on the weekends and some time during the summers for 4.5 years up in college. I know I can go on without him in my everyday life. I know it's going to be hard, but I know I can do it.

I've lived through best friends moving and losing touch, so I know I'll live through losing one of my best friends, as well. Again, it's going to be hard, but I can do it. Especially with such good best friends here to help.

But I didn't just lose a dad, I didn't just lose a best friend, I lost a coworker I respected, honored, and relied on as well. This would be hard enough to take if he'd "*just*" been a coworker, he was that important to me at work.

To lose my dad, best friend, and wonderful coworker is going to make going back to work almost impossible. Especially when I was *already* depressed and unmotivated at work due to the Columbia disaster and my favorite manager moving to another department and a couple of other issues at work.

I really, really don't know how I'm going to do that. And I only have a finite amount of time I can take before I go back (the company is generous, but it's still finite). And, on top of that, I only have an even *shorter* finite amount of time before I *should* go back. I'm going to have to face it sooner or later, better to face it sooner so I'll have time available to take off to go bury his ashes in Colorado as he (and we) wanted this summer, *and* still be able to get to Switzerland this summer, which I think I really *need* now instead of just *want*. I also think I now *need* the trips to Hawaii, Yellowstone, and the Grand Canyon that my dad was helping us plan for sometime in the next couple of years.

But going back to work is going to be very hard. And that's an understatement.

My current plan is to take off next week through at least Wed, and possibly Thurs. Then on either Thurs or Fri, have either my best friends or my "best friend coworker" take me to work and be ready to bring me back home in 15 minutes if I need to, or however long I'm able to stay. I may also ask my best friends (who live just 6 houses away and work for the same company though different buildings) to take me in for a little bit on Sat and Sun, when there are fewer people in the office to have to face as well.

Actually, that may be a better option. Have them take me in for a little bit on Sat and Sun, ask my manager if I should go ahead and count any time I come in to just *come in* and maybe check my email, and that way I get a little more used to being back in the office and have a chance to be there and able to cry without feeling embarassed around all my coworkers. Maybe that would make going back to work the following Monday a little easier?

What do y'all think? Am I thinking rationally and logically about that?

 

[Meriweather]

I haven't posted until now Tammi, but I wanted to let you know that I've been reading ALL your posts and following this from the beginning.
I have teared up with every post.
You have my deepest sympathy.
I have lost a father and know how hard it is.
You sound like you are doing well, considering everything.

It does get easier with time.....but it is always there to some degree.

Thank you for taking the time to write this all down.

 

[Pembo]

Tammi-The service sounded just perfect. I gather that your dad was quite a complex man and all of those memories you displayed were great.

As for going back to work~I think your idea of going in on Sat/Sun or even an evening is a good idea. It will be difficult but then again being able to do it on your own terms is good as well.

My hairdresser lost her husband and co-owner of their shop last week. She took a little less than a week off. I saw her yesterday and she said being at work has been ok. (Her dh was always there until he got very sick). Having her clients come in and being able to talk about her DH, the service etc has been helpful to her.

Best wishes whatever you decide to do.

 

[Jeafl]

Ironically, I was also at a memorial service on Saturday for a very good friend and employee of my husband. There was a lot of laughter and pictures as well. It was really very comforting for all of us to share our memories, and I know it helped the family a great deal. I'm sure your guests felt the same about your dad's. Your pictures were lovely, and I hope you felt some peace when it was over. Please continue to keep us updated.

 

[trishy]

Sounds like a beautiful service - what a great way to remember your father. I'm so glad to hear everything went well. Your plan for work sounds rational and logical - go for it. Just do what your comfortable with right now. Take care...

 

[chell]

Tammi I'm amazed at your detail when writing these updates. I had such a hard time finishing reading because of the tears.

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[snoopy]

Tammi - I think going in for a few hours on Saturday or Sunday is ideal. I can't imagine how you will feel, its hard enough to go back when your father wasn't also your co-worker.

I'm also glad that you are still planning on going on the vacations that you had planned together. He would have wanted that, I'm sure.

 

[Lanshark]

It sounded like beautiful memorial. My prayers are with you and your family as you try to resume your lives. Be prepared to ask for help and be willing to accept it when offered.

 

[cati]

Tammi, I am so sorry for your loss. By the look of your wonderful pictures, it does seem the memorial was very nice. Your husband sounds like a saint.

God Bless you and remember we are here for you.

 

[melk]

Looks like it was a lovely tribute to you Dad, Tammi. I know it must have been hard putting it all together, but you did great.
Take care.

 

[ead79]

Tammi, the memorial service sounds like it was lovely and very fitting for your father. I think the idea of a hobby table and a picture slideshow was wonderful. My prayers remain with you and your family. {{{HUGS}}}

 

[CRB#33]

It sounds like it was a very healing wonderful service, Tammi.

I hope you're doing a bit better.

You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[winniedapooh]

What beautiful pictures and a beautiful tribute. Tammi, your Dad sounded like a great man and what a fitting tribute for him. Pixie dust to you and your family right now and in the coming days.....

 

[Planogirl]

What a lovely tribute! Your Dad sounds like a nice and interesting man that would have been nice to know.

When my Dad died I kept thinking that he would still be there and for a while it kind of shocked me each time I realized that he was gone. It's going to take quite a while to sink in if you're like me. And then to deal with the fact that your Dad was your coworker too!

This will be rough I'm sure. But you'll make it. Give yourself lots of time. {{{{Hugs}}}}