The Meanest Mother in the World--A L-B TR, 5/05 *DONE. p.65, with one last pic*

[Grammyof2]

Just checking to see if anything NEW is here. I hear there may be a race to finish so that you can start new ones

 

[TwinkieMama]

turtle -- to you too! Good to see you! Thanks for not jumping ship. Like Cass. I think she's given up. Or thrown me over for Twinkiemama.

Don't worry- I am only the empty calorie snack to tide folks over until the next meal.

Haley -- I love that they are arguing and are both wrong!! I love the way kids talk and interpret things. Probably why I keep using words like "benember" and "up-eyes down" despite the fact it's probably highly annoying to those around me. As my baby sister used to say, "What matters?"

I am pretty sure that benember is the correct way to say it. I wouldn't beget an important word like that. My kids are always telling me not to beget something. So is DH..... but I think he is thinking of something else.

 

[proudmomof4]

I'm sorry I don't have anything funny or clever to type, just wanted to let you know that I have really enjoyed following your family's adventure in the WORLD and can't wait for what happens next. OH, and you do have a beautiful family!

 

[hucifer]

Kimmie!

Another hilarious installment! Well, two actually...you're really showing off now, aren't you? Two in a row?

Can't say it enough...your family is beautiful. I love how you are incorporating more and more of your "familyspeak" into the TR. So darn sweet.

I love love love your TR and look forward to every installment.

 

[hmmchowell]

Have been lurking for 3 days now trying to catch up on your story that I just discovered! I am enjoying it immensely. Here's a bump so I can find it when you post again!! Thanks for the cute pix also.

 

[espana94]

Greetings! Just wanted to let you know how much I am enjoying your TR. I just found it this morning and have spent the last 3 hours reading it from start to finish. Can't wait for the rest!

Work, who needs to work?????

Espana

 

[TwinkieMama]

So Sorry Mean Mama! I thought this was your second trip report because I had clear memories of you being the meanest mother in the world and going to Disney WITH NO KIDs to buy the DVC aeons ago... I guess I was bemembering the pretrip post as a whole 'nother story.
Anyway back in April when I first read this... I told the whole detailed story of how you are the meanest mother in the world to my DH who was astounded because clearly I am the meanest mother in the world but then he decided you did have the title hands down because of your nonkidful vacation. He thought that was crazy. Hehehe. In only a few short months I brainwashed him and now, I just got back from my own romantic holiday to Walt Disney World Resort sans kidcakes. So now I am equally mean or maybe more so.....

 

[spiceycat]

what can I say!

Great!

You are one funny lady!!!!

yes only at day 5 - so there are still 5 more days right?

 

[LindaBabe]

Thank you for these 'crumbs' to tide us over until the next meal! <kidding> It drives me crazy when I see kidlets swinging on the rail - i'm so afraid they'll crash - but your little girl si SO CUTE! I'm glad you preserved that look for all time!

 

[Glendamax]

WOW! You guys met the Incredibles! I hope I get to see them, and don't scare the kids as I rush towards them to have my picture taken! (Maybe I'll start to walk very slowly then speed up!)

Glad you had a great time! Your kids are really cute!

 

[Cass]

 

[badblackpug]

MeanMama,

I love your TR. I am subscribing, so I won't have to nag you and shoot impatient vibes through the 'puter. You're a riot.

2003 Honda Accord
2005 Nissan Armada
2006 Audi TT Roadster
(don't wanna talk about it, won't drive it)

 

[kpk89]

I have another chapter almost ready to go. Tomorrow, perhaps. In the meantime ...

Dreamer & Wisher -- Me too. The swinging on the handrails driving me nuts, that is. Something about breathing the Disney air makes me lose my mind a little.

princessjv -- The PDLOS photo that I did NOT post tells a different story. About a boy, with a black eye, who thought he was "too big" for such silliness. Yet he weaseled himself right up FRONT to try and touch the dancing puppets.

cherokeemamma -- say hi to saladhead for me when you ride RNR, okay?

ClareD -- We're doing great! Thanks for asking! Just lamenting the end of summer at the same time we're looking forward to having a little more structure in our lives with the start of school. More structure = kids at school sometimes, so mama gets to DIS a little. hee hee.

svalencia1 -- thanks for joining in! And for thinking the kids are sweet and well behaved. They are. Usually. Except when they're not. Which happens, occasionally. But what can I expect, with a meanie for their mom?

mikymouse -- those parts you quoted were from so long ago, I barely benember writing them. Quick, I am not.

megandbrandon -- Welcome welcome welcome to the big bad DIS! It's great fun.

BostonTink85 -- I vote we go back to Victorian times when pasty white skin was a prized symbol of beauty. I would be HOT!

vamassey1 -- write it down! You will want to benember these little tidbits.

Donald is #1 -- first of all, I beg to differ. Mickey rules. Second, sweep up your popcorn crumbs when you're done, eh?

Beana -- Sher has much about her which is enviable. Just ask her!!

Haley -- With Jami finished, looks like it's you and me, kid. The race is on.

Grammy -- Did you read page 43? Or were you just giving a mama a little boost off of page 12?

Twinkiemama -- Right. Is that supposed to make me broccoli or something? I want to be an empty calorie confection too!

proudmomof4 -- Back atcha. Your boys are all quite handsome. Bless you.

hucifer!!! -- stop reading my TR and get writing on yours! I am craving a little of the adventures of Dan & Wendy.

hmmchowell -- I'm happy that you emerged from lurkdom. For me. You are too sweet. A bump back up the page is always appreciated.

espana94 -- Who needs to work? All of us! So we can have a more Disney life.

TwinkieMama (again!) -- That's because it WAS eons ago!

spiceycat -- Thank you muchly! And no, ours was only a 7 day adventure. The end is near. I should have it wrapped up by Christmas!

LindaBabe -- yep, it makes me nuts too. I don't typically allow it. But we were waiting a loooooong time. About 10 minutes. And thankfully, there are no photos of a crumpled child on the concrete. Enough maiming was already done to my kids on that trip!

Glendamax -- check with a cast member to find out where the Incredibles might be now. When we were there, the movie had just come out so they were hanging out in the Magic of Animation building. Now I imagine the Cars characters (are there any?) might have taken that spot.
((and, PS. Try skipping! Nobody would stop a full-grown woman from skipping, at DISNEY!))

Cass. -- Where have you been, young lady? I have been slacking and it's all your fault!! Bring me the angry!

badblackpug -- Your name makes me You should meet my friend BadKitty. Thanks for reading, and posting.

Onward!

 

[kpk89]

Chapter 20: Hey Conor ... itsyourbirthday

This trip was not meant to happen at the same time as Conor’s birthday. But, because I was both too cheap to pay the vacation week airfare AND not ashamed to take my son out of kindergarten for the week (12 and a half total hours!) we bumped our dates. And here we are! Celebrating the first of many birthdays at Disney World.

Because you KNOW that we must also go during each of the girls’ birthdays, right?

And boy I’d like to spend my birthday there too someday. (Maybe my 40th? Doug? Are you reading? Make a note in that geek machine of yours! Maybe by then there will be DVC at a monorail resort!)

The plan for today involves an early start at Magic Kingdom. A birthday button for Conor. A first haircut for Sydney at the barber shop. Fun and merriment. Lunch at Whispering Canyon Café. Back to the MK for more fun and merriment.

The planning for this supersecretsurprise trip, that turned out to involve Conor’s birthday, also involved the UN-planning of his regular birthday party. That HE wanted to have at Chuck E. Sneeze. With that other mouse. Phew! Got out of that scrape. Also eliminated the Big Family Party. The way that we do birthdays. Because we’re fortunate to have all five grandparents, and all the aunts and uncles too, living close enough that we can celebrate together. Regularly.

But since we were going to be away, I asked everyone to send me their gifts for Conor ahead of time. And keep them SMALL, please, as we need to pack them to take along.

So the morning of the Big Birthday Adventure, I packed all of said gifts into The Backpack so that he could open gifts at our lunch at Whispering Canyon.

We were set! For a fabulous day of fun.

Except.

As we removed our happy selves from the bus at the MK, our plans began to go awry.

I blame Regis and Kelly.

 

[sheridac]

Kimmie!!!!!!!

THANK YOU!!!

You used a BACKPACK!!!!!!

 

[Grammyof2]

Kimmie - 1st I just have to do this Because I settled in with my beverage of choice, coffee, of course, started to read, took a sip, and that was the end of this little chapter

Ok I can wait till 9 when Regis and Kelly come on.

Good luck tommorrow

 

[kpk89]

Kimmie!!!!!!!

THANK YOU!!!

You used a BACKPACK!!!!!!

Don't get too excited yet. Sad backpack never went on anyone's back. It was too full, and stayed in the bottom of the stroller.

((I did use a fanny pack on that trip. I am hideous))

But don't worry. It was a momentary slip of fashion judgment. Now I have a cute little traveling backpack. For my own stuff. And the honkin' huge backpack still for all the kids stuff. Because there's still a stroller to tote it in.

 

[kpk89]

They were there, doing a show. Live. From the courtyard just below the train station. I forget the name of it. And wouldn’t you know, the line for people who had showed up JUST to see them, was huge. And it was blocking our path from the bus stop into the gates. Security made us go around. Alllllll the way around. A mile-long line of people.

Minor blip, but sheesh! Regis and Kelly?

Then the security dude spied loot in my backpack. Insisted that I could not bring wrapped gifts into the park.

What?!?

I tried to secretively explain to him that it was my son’s birthday, and that we were surprising him with his gifts at lunchtime.

“Sorry, ma’am. I need to be able to see what you’ve got in there.”

Right. I do believe the latest terror alert has been due to increased chatter about GIFT-WRAPPED bombs. Carried by plush pastywhite mamas alongside the baby wipes and fruit snacks in her backpack that is a DIAPER bag.

Alert the media!

I didn’t say those things. Just thought them. While I tried to wink at the guy to let him know I’m no threat at all.

Except, I can’t wink.

So it probably looked more like I was contorting my face in a menacing fashion.

Alert Homeland Security!

“Seriously? You’re going to unwrap my son’s birthday gifts? Look, this one is a DVD. You can tell by the shape.”

Apparently, the gift-wrapped bomb chatter was largely relative to DVD-shaped bombs.

What are the chances?

Meanwhile, Doug is standing on the Other Side of the security search. With the kids. And the doublewide ride. Wondering what is taking us (me and my backpack) so long.

Pointed at them, and waved. Told the security dude “That’s my family. See that cute blond boy with the freckles and the huge shiner? That’s the birthday boy. He’s six today.”

The security dude looked at me, and said, “How about if I just rip open a little corner so I can be doing my job AND not ruin the surprise?”

That’s Disney magic. When they’re willing to just rip open PART of the gift wrapping on your child’s long-awaited Incredibles DVD.

I said, “Works for me!”

Luckily the rest of the gifts were cards. Or at least small enough to fit in envelopes. So he didn’t open them.

Film at 11.

Moving on, we got Conor’s birthday button, and tried to head for the barber shop.

Again, thwarted by Regis and Kelly. And the cast of Festival of the Lion King. Who were performing on the Regis and Kelly show, live from the Magic Kingdom. Cool! Wish we could stay and watch, but first of all we didn’t get here early enough to be in the special mile-long line of People Who Get to See Regis Today, AND we had a date with destiny.

I mean, a date with the destiny of Sydneyralla’s 2-years-long-and-never-been-cut-hair. I’ve been saving this momentous occasion for Disney. Because she’s the third child, and gets sort of shafted in many ways. Doesn’t ever get to do things “first,” doesn’t get new clothes or toys, doesn’t have a baby album.

Those of you with more than two children, maybe you can relate. When Sydneyralla was born, Conor was 3 (almost 4) and Piper was 2. People told me I was crazy. They asked how I would cope. The thing is, a newborn baby is easy to take care of! Well, after you’ve had some practice and gotten used to never sleeping. I wish I’d known when Conor was a baby how easy I had it!!

So I was totally fine. Taking care of my two toddlers and my newborn. Had everything under control.

Until she started crawling.

Things have never been the same since.

So, since my third and final child rarely gets the benefit of a clean house or a home-cooked meal, and no photographic evidence of much of anything, I wanted her first haircut to be really memorable. With pictures and everything.

Not that she gives a hoot. About any of this. She’s two, benember? What matters?

Except that she WILL care. Eventually. When we look back fondly over the beautiful baby albums I made for my children. With photos and journaling of every moment of their first few years.

And hers is a pocket folder with a handful of pictures in it. That other people took, and gave to me because they felt sorry for my baby. And bits of paper napkins with illegible crayon notes scribbled on.

So her first haircut was going to be extremely magical and photographed. At the Magic Kingdom Barber Shop. The moment I’d been dreaming of had arrived.

Except that Town Square was packed with Regis and Kelly people and Lion King performers. We were on the right side of Main Street, with not a dollar’s chance in Zzub’s wallet of making it over to the left side, to the barber shop, without considerable angst and skin-to-skin contact.

We decided to skip it and head for Tomorrowland.

Sorry, sweetie.

 

[Grammyof2]

My baby doesn't even have a 2 pocket folder

But I do have his beautiful almost white curls saved for ever in a ziploc bag stuffed into my undie drawer.

 

[Lisa_Belle]

I mean, a date with the destiny of Sydneyralla’s 2-years-long-and-never-been-cut-hair. I’ve been saving this momentous occasion for Disney. Because she’s the third child, and gets sort of shafted in many ways. Doesn’t ever get to do things “first,” doesn’t get new clothes or toys, doesn’t have a baby album.

Those of you with more than two children, maybe you can relate. When Sydneyralla was born, Conor was 3 (almost 4) and Piper was 2. People told me I was crazy. They asked how I would cope. The thing is, a newborn baby is easy to take care of! Well, after you’ve had some practice and gotten used to never sleeping. I wish I’d known when Conor was a baby how easy I had it!!

So I was totally fine. Taking care of my two toddlers and my newborn. Had everything under control.

Until she started crawling.

Things have never been the same since.

I may have just beaten you out for Meanest Mama. Because my baby doesn't have an album either. Or photos. Or even cute napkin drawings. Only she's not the third child. Not even the second. She's the ONLY child. And she still got the shaft. Although somewhere in a white envelope is a lock of hair from her first haircut. If it hasn't gotten thrown away.