The McCaughey Septuplets

[mickeyboat]

From someone who had infertility problems and sought treatment from a specialist:

Please remember the desire to produce offspring is strong, the utilization of modern medicine is tempting, and the results of treatment are not always so drastic.

Why did God give us the capability to develop treatment methods if he didn't want us to use them? There is a huge ethics debate here, I'm not sure I have all the answers.

But it hurts me to know that someone might think that God did not want me to have children, and that somehow, by seeking the help of a doctor, I have violated his Will in some way.

Denae

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Originally posted by RitaZ.
They are the Dilleys. I like that family.

There was a movie about them too--and NBC interviewed them on their birthdays until the birthday when that movie was made (age 5 or 6)--awesome family--stays out of the limelight.

 

[Lachesis00]

Denae:
I am sorry I didn't mean to offend. It's just something I had thought about for a long time. It was a thought more so for these folks b/c they kept saying "God will provide"...


It's hard to explain I didn't mean to offend. I knew I would. It was just something I remember thinking a lot about when this first came to light in the news.



Again I am sorry

 

[disykat]

Originally posted by Disney1fan2002
Ummmm, my mom and dad raised 12 kids, and guess what? We played sports! All of us, at one time or another got to play the sport we loved. My older brothers even got to play football! Not a cheap sport, because you have to buy your own equipment.

Your brothers played football at age 7? There is a far cry between jr high and high school kids participating in school sports and the under 10 set doing private sports which involve tons of weekend commitments. NO ONE played organized sports until 6th grade when I was growing up. Well, I guess little league existed but even that was not a 6 hour a week commitment.

 

[hentob]

I guess if you look at it from a "God gave us the technology and tools and knowledge to provide fertility treatments" you can also look at it from this angle--God gave us the technology, tools and knowledge to reduce the size of these unnatural pregnancies.

Again, just my opinion.

 

[mickeyboat]

Rachel - don't worry about it.

Ethics is not a black or white issue for me. I was educated to see there are differing viewpoints on every issue, and rational reasons to back up almost every one. I can relate to your thoughts on infertility treatment.

When an issue gets close to home, blurred lines become more focused, and grey turns more black or white. My treatment was fairly simple, my problem was insulin-related and was treated with a medication used to treat diabetes.

But I can't say I would not have considered more radical treatments if they had presented themselves to me. I don't know ethically or morally where I would have drawn the line. Maybe the line I would have drawn for myself would have been different than the line I would have thought acceptable for someone else.

Denae

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

The article opens saying that they do group violin lessons. Why is everyone hung up on lack of sports means lack of activities?

This certainly isn't tee-ball...but the arts is a good thing.
My daughters do dance right now. It is up to parents to decide what their children will do and guide them along the way. Am I a bad parent b/c my daughter doesn't play sports--certainly NOT!!!

Also--who says good parenting involves fulfilling your child's every whim and wish? There are several families out there that "sacrifice" and limit, if not provide at all, extra-curricular activities b/c they cannot afford it. Doesn't make them bad parents and doesn't make them not qualified to raise their children.


Warning--sarcasm approaching....

(And there are even parents out there who have not taken their kids to Disney World, and *gasp* don't plan to do so--shhhh! Don't tell anybody!!! But hey, the McCaughy's got to go last year--I think free, even...but shhhh---nobody has ever gone to Disney free before, so don't tell anybody!!! )


Sarcasm over--now back to regularly scheduled posting.




Yes they may not have a mortgage--but there is homeowner's insurance, health insurance, medical bills, power bills, phone bills, food bills, clothing bills and the list can go on and on...Not having a mortgage does not equal having all the extra money in the world to spend as you please.

 

[sharbear]

Wow, this has turned into a lively discussion. I love hearing all the different opinions.

The paragraph that I formed my opinion on was:
There's also the siren call of team sports -- and the risk of parental enslavement to schedules and chauffeuring. Brandon, a natural at baseball, was dying to play, but after careful deliberation, the McCaugheys said no for now. "It's partly because of how much all the equipment costs and how it would cut into family time," she says. "My dad didn't allow me or my five siblings to do sports for the same reasons."

The sentence that really bothered me was "My dad didn't allow me or my five siblings to do sports for the same reasons". Made me jump to the conclusion that they wanted to keep their children to stay within the family unit.

I did see that they took violin lessons. I think that the arts are important also. My DD is very involved in music. But her music lessons are for her and there are no other children there. It's not a team sport and it is something that is contained to the family. Later on there are opportunities to play with a group but not at 7.

Maybe I jumped to the wrong conclusion but in my mind I think that the McCaughey's want to have their children interact within the family unit.

God help them if the kids want to take up the violin seriously. $50 an hour lessons, $2000 bows. If they think that baseball is too expensive!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Originally posted by sharbear
God help them if the kids want to take up the violin seriously. $50 an hour lessons, $2000 bows. If they think that baseball is too expensive!

Maybe they plan to have it donated.


Have you seen the prices on tike sized violins--OUCH!!!
(At a homeschool convention, they were well over $100, though I don't recall the precise amount).

Junior could easily have swapped out the violin for Tee-ball...but my point is still that the kids are already doing something--perhaps his desires were known AFTER the violin investment.

If my daughter decided she didn't want to dance one year AFTER we bought her leotard, tights, tap and ballet shoes--and wanted to do something else--I'm afraid that she's in it until the end of the year--we just can't switch.

Perhaps this statement is just showing a fact of life--"we can't do everthing." Perhaps Brandon should stage a coup with the other kids--protest violin until Brandon can play baseball There's 7 of them--they outnumber their parents don't they--I think they can take 'em

 

[disykat]

Brandon can play all the baseball he wants I'm sure. He practically has his own team at home. He has a bunch of cousins, probably a bunch of neighbors, friends at school and church, and he has recess at school. Children who don't get to be on an organized ball team aren't deprived IMO. If that is the new defination of deprivation - I guess my kids are deprived.

 

[JessetheCowgirl]

Okay, not trying to hijack a thread, but our public school offers orchestra. So maybe it is through something like that?

And our DS takes private lessons but it is $150 per semester which works out to $20 per hour.

Also, we rent a violin for $8.00 monthly through a local music store ($6.00 of that apply to any future purpose, but DS is at the stage where he goes up a size in his violin every 6 months or so)

 

[robertsmom]

Originally posted by Pete's Mom
I watched an interview with another family who had 6 children (sextuplets). I can't remember their names but they are referred to as the "Six Pack". After all the fan fare died down, the donations and handouts stopped and they found themselves struggling for even the basics. The husband and the wife were both working, one in the day, the other at night. They hardly ever saw each other. They talked about what a terrible strain it was on their marriage. They could only go out to eat once a year, cut their own hair, shopped at Goodwill, etc. and lived basically from paycheck to paycheck. They could not afford the utilities or insurance on the home that had been donated and ended moving into a small two bedroom house.

The children you are referring to are the Dilley sextuplets of Indiana. From what I've heard, these parents are doing a great job of raising their kids......they have lots of kids, play sports, go to sleepovers, etc. The parents are making every effort to let their kids individualize themselves. IMO, especially when this many kids are involved, they MUST be allowed to seperate from each other and the family once in a while.

 

[ksjayhawks]

Sorry for joining in late on this discussion. We were living in Iowa--Des Moines, very close to Carlisle--when the 7 were born.

It is my understanding that they knew the fertility drugs could produce a multiple pregnancy and that there was a way to determine how many eggs were being released so they could choose whether or not to try that month.

They lived in a small house, and yes they needed a bigger house, but this house is beyond big, it is huge! They were given everything for this house and a van, car seats, strollers, money, and so much, much, much more. I wonder what they did with all of the items--such as clothing, toys, diapers that the kids never wore or had doubles of, etc. There is no way that they could have worn all the clothes they were given. I wonder if they gave these back to charities to give to others as they were so richly blessed. Again, never heard anything about this. Hmmm. . .

Rumor had it that they were asked to donate their old house to charity, but would not. As I said, it was just a rumor, but whenever it was brought up a news conferences, etc, the issue was skirted. Noone ever came out and said one way or the other.

My husband was in retail at this time and someone came in asking for donations for the 7. When my husband offered them some items, the person doin the asking refused, saying that those items weren't what the couple wanted or the brand that they wanted!!!!!!! Can you believe that?

Kenny, the father, quit his job as an account clerk at the dealership that gave them the van and was going to make his living by doing motivational speaking. Evidently, that did not pan out as they thought, so he is now working a line job at one of the factories.

If one of the boys wants to play baseball, chances are most of his games would be during the week. They also live in a small town, so shuttling the kids to play dates would not be that hard. Also, with the size of house that they have and the yard, they could accomodate others easily.

It just bothers me and always has, that they were takers, but certainly do not seem to be givers.

It really bothered me that shortly after that, a couple gave birth to quadruplets that occurred naturally and they were not offered nearly as much as the McCaughys were. In my opinion, the quads family should have gotten everything as it was a natural occurrence, whereas the McCaughys chose to use fertility drugs and chose to procede when they knew the chance of multiples was high. If they couldn't provide for that many on their own, then they should have made a different choice and tried another month when there were fewer eggs released.

Just my 2cents worth.

 

[disneymom3]

While I can't stand what I see of these people--just the parents--on TV etc and have always been appalled at the choices (and their inherent risks) they have made, I can't fault them on the sports thing. These kids are only 7. And one of the paragraphs says that one night all of the kids were at friend's or relatives houses, so they do get out, just not all the time.

I purposely avoided reading this thread when I first saw it because I can't stand reading about these people, but it just wouldn't GO AWAY. Imagine my surprise to read most of the posts!! lol

 

[CarolA]

Boy is this a rightous thread.

Now we are medical experts too.

I recently saw a woman with quints.... I guess I should have assumed she has a lousy MD and is irresponsible? I doubt she feels that way.

I am just amazed that all of you know their motives.

Personally from what I hear about most organized sports for kids I would keep my kid FAR away. Sorry, but most organized sports for kids are ruined by overly competetive PARENTS!

 

[goofygirl]

QUOTE:"Why did God give us the capability to develop treatment methods if he didn't want us to use them? There is a huge ethics debate here, I'm not sure I have all the answers.

But it hurts me to know that someone might think that God did not want me to have children, and that somehow, by seeking the help of a doctor, I have violated his Will in some way."


So did God intend you to have children or not? You can't have it both ways. Either God made you infertile as for you to not have children, or He planned for you to have them- via adoption, or fertility medicine.

If anyone is going to use the "god put these treatments on earth for us to use" rationale, then they should never ever lecture anyone about abortion being wrong. God must have given us the capability to have abortion methods and such doctors on this earth for us to use too.

 

[goofygirl]

I'd also like to say that fertility medicine seems way out of control anymore, with these multiples, and also in the news this week I heard about a 57 year old woman, and then a 60 year old woman giving bith via fertility medicine! Sorry, but that is just not normal, I will never see that as normal no matter how many people do that. What next- 70, 75, 80, year old ladies bearing babies???!!

I can think of so many better ways that this kind of cost, effort and science can be used than this.

 

[mickyzzzzz05]

Just my 2 cents worth -

*I think they are doing a great job parenting their children.
*Even living in Iowa - the only publicity I see on them is on their birthday
*Dealing with that many of the same age would be hard but with the special needs children - wow - I admire them.
*Never read the entire article but the one posted stated that they weren't going on a cruise but would LIKE to after the children are grown - nothing wrong with plans.
*All three of my children participated in organized sports and if I had to do it over I wouldn't. It was not the postive experience that I had been led to believe it would be. I would have been happy with them doing golf and cross country.
Just my opinion.