The Magic Band Theory

[magicbob]

I expanded my earlier song to include more touring strategies that will be extremely helpful for FP+ users in the future. These strategies may not reduce your wait times for rides, but if you memorize the lyrics and sing it over and over while you're stuck in the standby line, it will help pass the time.

The Magic Band Theory
(sung to the theme song of "The Big Bang Theory")

Our whole Disney World was in a hot, hot state...
With love bugs, alligators, and Space Mountain's falling snakes.

Late Fast Pass? Change the rule!
Reserve ahead or you're a fool.
We'll call it “Plus” (sounds really cool).
We'll give them bands (but not the purple ones!)
Nothing left but Hall of Presidents? Go shopping 'til your money’s spent.

It all started with a Magic Band. BAND!



The headliner rides are booked at sixty days.
We'll tell them FastPass Plus is FABULOUS, no matter what Bob says.

Tiered choices? Go see "Stitch."
Using the app is such a B----.
At least the stockholders get rich.
Who needs the rides? (Enjoy the ambience!)
Can’t get in the FP line? Remember standby is just fine.

This all started with a Magic Band.



The whole population of the U.S.A.
Is logged on at 6 am to book their FastPass Plus today.

With these changes you can’t live?
“Just don’t go. You’re negative!”
How many passes will they give?
They’ll give you three (but just one headliner).
"Mark my words" when lines are long,
"I have informed you thusly" in this song.

Compared to this I’m liking Avatarland!
And this all started with a Magic Band.



Our whole universe is standing in this line.
“You’re lucky just to be here, so you shouldn’t whine!”

Change your park day? Need to switch?
Oh no! They’re even out of “Stitch.”
Need to scratch your FastPass itch?
Book Guest Relations (the new headliner)...
Reserve a time to fix your glitch.
This @#$%^ing app is STILL a B----!

And I paid big bucks to “test” this Magic Band!
And I still can’t get my @#$%^ing purple band!



Bazinga.

 

[cseca]

BWAHAHAHA!!!

Great job

I think you got it all this time.

I'm thinking of making my own t-shirt with "I have informed you thusly" but with the MDE app picture on it...

 

[ktlm]

That is absolutely fantastic!!! (Sad thing is how true it appears it may be)

"Nothing left but Hall of Presidents? Go shopping 'til your money’s spent"- never really thought of it, but maybe that was Disney's plan all along!


I've decided with the tiered system in reality what they want is for you to just have 1 FP a day. At the new tiered EPCOT, the 2nd tier are all things that you have never needed FP for because the lines are often 10 minutes or less.

 

[DisneyMountainWoman]

Fabulous!!!!

 

[dobtia]

That is pretty funny right there. As a vertan of about 8 trips I am not totally sure what to think of the new system. I think I am of the belief that the old system was working good enough...but I would buy this song.