The Magic 8 Ball has returned!

[legalsea]

The Magic 8 Ball has agreed to make a Pre-Christmas appearance!

I was very surprised by this. I was sitting at my desk when suddenly I heard a commotion in the other room: it was one of my cats, knocking the Magic 8 Ball off its place on the shelf, and then rolling the magic ball to my feet! I took this as a 'sign'.

Of course, the cat next rolled in a bottle of vodka to my feet. If Mr. Muffins manages to roll in some Coke and a lime, I will take that as another sign.

Worried that the Magic 8 Ball may have been damaged by the antics of Mr. Muffins I tested the Orb Wonder:

“Oh, Magic 8 Ball: Will I find the Wii Fit in time for Christmas?”
(shakes like a Bond martini)

“Reply hazy, try again”

Hmm. Of course, it has been very foggy here in the Fort Worth area. I hope the Spiritual Transmission Lines are not affected. I shall try again (stirring this time):

‘Oh, Magic 8 Ball, will someone give me a Wii Fit for Christmas?’

“No”.

Hmm. That seems a little too clear. Drat. I was hoping to get into shape, but if there are no Nintendo games to inspire me…. Ah, here comes Mr. Muffins rolling something my way. Well done Mr. Muffins! It seems a little early... however, signs and all that, you know.

Anyway, remember the rules: you must begin with “Oh, Magic 8 Ball” and there is no arguing with the Magic 8 Ball which, after all, Knows All.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Oh, Magic 8 Ball, will either my husband or I get offers from the job interviews we had this week?

 

[legalsea]

Sorry it took me so long to respond, but I was choking on a lime wedge.

Anyway, a very important question! Let us hope that the Magic 8 Ball is up to the task. I shall phrase the question in legal 8 Ballogy:

“Oh Magic 8 Ball! Will either ZephyrHawk, or the husband of said ZephyrHawk, get offers from the job interviews they had this week?”

(shake like a Illinois governor)

“As I see it, Yes”

Ah! An excellent response! Of course, we do not really know if the Magic 8 Ball meant that both you and your husband will receive offers, or one. I shall hope that both of you receive offers.

Indeed, not just ‘offers’, but a firm offer of an actual job with pay and benefits. Your note does just say ‘offers’ as opposed to ‘job offers’, and the Magic 8 Ball may well be saying that you will receive an ‘offer’, but of the type that is usually associated with political conventions and Las Vegas conventions.

Drat, I guess I was not specific enough to the Magic 8 Ball. Well, let us go with the positive answer and keep positive thoughts! Good luck!

 

[ImMarcik]

Oh magic 8 ball will i have a boyfriend soon.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

Oh mighty Magic 8 Ball..can you tell me if one of my son's friends dads will find a job soon that will NOT take them away from this area?

I saw one of the kids who was in DS's class last year with his mom dropping off stuff for their class party, so I said hello. We started chatting, because even though our sons are not in the same class together any more, they both still play together (their classes have recess together) and hang out with each other before class starts. She told me that last month her DH was laid off and that the only places he was finding that were hiring for his kind of work (something in computers) were all out of state. I was so bummed. I really like DS's friend and his mom and I was hoping that we could get together over the summer for some play dates the way we did this summer. It looks like they are going to have to uproot their family in the middle of the school year and move somewhere far away. She also expressed concerns to me that wherever they landed, the new school district might not have a Sp Ed preschool the way ours does and her dd is scheduled to come in after the first of the year for evals.

Man I am so bummed. I really like this woman and I can kind of see becoming friends with her. Our kids all have the same kinds of issues (speech delay mostly) and we sort of have the same kinds of taste in music. We hung out a bit over the summer and this really, really sucks.

 

[legalsea]

Oh magic 8 ball will i have a boyfriend soon.

I shall ask immediately!

"Oh, Magic 8 Ball, will ImMarcik have a boyfriend soon?"
(shake like a Shakespearian lover)

"Looks good to Me!"

Hmm. Not sure what that means. Of course, the Magic 8 Ball knows all and sees all; perhaps the Magic 8 Ball was using its Magical Eye to look at ImMarcik and burst out with this sentiment. Sorta creepy behavior of the Magic 8 Ball, if you ask me. Ladies, if you are gonna ask such questions and so draw the attention of the Magic 8 Ball, you may want to first, you know, make sure you are properly dressed and such.

Anyway, we shall assume that the Magic 8 Ball was not being creepy and that it simply means that you shall have a boyfriend soon. Don't loan him any money (at first for the first year).

 

[Hoodie]

Oh Magic 8 Ball, will I ever get the gifts I ordered last week? At least by Easter so I can give them out then?

 

[legalsea]

Oh mighty Magic 8 Ball..can you tell me if one of my son's friends dads will find a job soon that will NOT take them away from this area?

I saw one of the kids who was in DS's class last year with his mom dropping off stuff for their class party, so I said hello. We started chatting, because even though our sons are not in the same class together any more, they both still play together (their classes have recess together) and hang out with each other before class starts. She told me that last month her DH was laid off and that the only places he was finding that were hiring for his kind of work (something in computers) were all out of state. I was so bummed. I really like DS's friend and his mom and I was hoping that we could get together over the summer for some play dates the way we did this summer. It looks like they are going to have to uproot their family in the middle of the school year and move somewhere far away. She also expressed concerns to me that wherever they landed, the new school district might not have a Sp Ed preschool the way ours does and her dd is scheduled to come in after the first of the year for evals.

Man I am so bummed. I really like this woman and I can kind of see becoming friends with her. Our kids all have the same kinds of issues (speech delay mostly) and we sort of have the same kinds of taste in music. We hung out a bit over the summer and this really, really sucks.

Rather a long question, if you ask me. However, I strive to do my best:

"Oh Magic 8 Ball, can you tell sdarwkcabemanmy if one of said sdarwkcabemanmy son's friends dads will find a job soon that will NOT take them away from this area?"

(doubtful shake)


"Yes".

Well that is clear enough! The Magic 8 Ball can tell you if one of your son's friend's dads' will find a job soon that will NOT take them away from the area that sdarwkcabemanmy presently resides in.

(Thanks, Mr. Muffins. After that last question I don't know but I WILL have one more.)

 

[legalsea]

Oh Magic 8 Ball, will I ever get the gifts I ordered last week? At least by Easter so I can give them out then?

A bit vague, but we shall see what insight the Magic 8 Ball can give us:

"Oh Magic 8 Ball, will Hoodie ever get the gifts Hoodie ordered last week? At least by Easter so Hoodie can give them out then?"

(shake like a Ponderosa Pine with Mr Muffins climbing it):

"I have my doubts".

Oh Oh. Not a very good answer. Let me see. I bet you ordered these gifts off some guy on Ebay, didn't you? Wanted to save some money, didn't you? Seller promised "speedy delivery", I bet. Yes, that is what I thought. No wonder the Magic 8 Ball has its doubts. Even Easter is doubtful. However, no doubt by Independence Day all of your gifts would have arrived and you may then distribute them to your (hopefully) patient and understanding friends and relatives.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

I hope that prediction comes true. DS has been buddies with L since last year when they were in the same class together. One day, I was taking DS to school and one of the teachers said, "HI L! Oh wai..no. You're not L, you're *othername*. Sorry mom." I laughed and said it was alright. L and DS do look a lot alike, almost like brothers and at school they are ALWAYS together when they're out on the playground or at lunch or whatever. DS recently told me that L was his 'bestest fend', so if they have to move it'll be really sad.

 

[breezy1077]

Oh Magic Eight Ball: Will we ever be able to get the heck outta Dodge and on our way to Florida?!?

 

[legalsea]

Oh Magic Eight Ball: Will we ever be able to get the heck outta Dodge and on our way to Florida?!?

Strange question, isn't it Mr Muffins? Breezy1077 is in Dublin, Ohio (just north, I believe, of Columbus), yet Breezy (obviously a reference to the wife of George Jefferson, with a slight change in pronunciation) wants to know if they will be able to 'get the heck outta Dodge', which, of course, is in Kansas. Hmm.

Anyway, the Magic 8 Ball lives (so to speak) to serve, and I shall try my best to formulate the question correctly:

"Oh, Magic 8 Ball, will Breezy (who is movin' on up) be able to depart from Dodge, Kansas, and so proceed to someplace in Florida?"

(shake like the north wind is blowin')

"Outlook good".

Ah, Breezy! A very good answer indeed! Yes, you should be able to depart Dodge City (as I think the official name is) and make you way to Florida. You did not indicate your mode of transportation, but since you are leaving Dodge City, I imagine that it is by horseback or wagon train. Simply head south towards Fort Worth; when it becomes unbearably warm turn eastward, and make you way to Florida, which should be a bit cooler than Fort Worth.

I am glad that you are not attempting to leave Dublin, Ohio. Glancing at the weather channel I see that those people are screwed for the next few days. If anyone is in Dublin and wishes to head south, I recommend they leave today or tomorrow, because by Monday it shall be very, very cold with ice and snow.

 

[ntsammy5]

Great, mine is nearly worn out. It's how I plan my investment strategies!

 

[legalsea]

Great, mine is nearly worn out. It's how I plan my investment strategies!

I am a little surprised that no one has asked the Magic 8 Ball about investments.

At the request of Mr Muffins I asked the Magic 8 Ball the following:

"Oh, Magic 8 Ball, should I invest in Pier One Imports"?
(Shake like a financial advisor)

"Are you kidding?"

Well, what did I expect? I mean, Pier One's stock has dipped below one dollar per share, and they will be 'de-listed' from the NYSE unless it gets back up before June 2009. Anyway, the Magic 8 Ball obviously does not think that they will succeed in doing so. A pity, since I like going into Pier One and looking around and experiencing the scents. Heck, maybe someday I'll actually buy something.

 

[breezy1077]

Strange question, isn't it Mr Muffins? Breezy1077 is in Dublin, Ohio (just north, I believe, of Columbus), yet Breezy (obviously a reference to the wife of George Jefferson, with a slight change in pronunciation) wants to know if they will be able to 'get the heck outta Dodge', which, of course, is in Kansas. Hmm.

Anyway, the Magic 8 Ball lives (so to speak) to serve, and I shall try my best to formulate the question correctly:

"Oh, Magic 8 Ball, will Breezy (who is movin' on up) be able to depart from Dodge, Kansas, and so proceed to someplace in Florida?"

(shake like the north wind is blowin')

"Outlook good".

Ah, Breezy! A very good answer indeed! Yes, you should be able to depart Dodge City (as I think the official name is) and make you way to Florida. You did not indicate your mode of transportation, but since you are leaving Dodge City, I imagine that it is by horseback or wagon train. Simply head south towards Fort Worth; when it becomes unbearably warm turn eastward, and make you way to Florida, which should be a bit cooler than Fort Worth.

I am glad that you are not attempting to leave Dublin, Ohio. Glancing at the weather channel I see that those people are screwed for the next few days. If anyone is in Dublin and wishes to head south, I recommend they leave today or tomorrow, because by Monday it shall be very, very cold with ice and snow.

Whew! Thank goodness, I was starting to get worried. I'll tell George y'all said hi, and give Florence the week off since we will indeed be in Palm tree city by dawn.

BTW, Disers get a 10% discount on all drycleaning.

Thank you Magic Eight Ball!!!

 

[legalsea]

I just realized something as I was enjoying the latest cocktail provided by my cat, Mr Muffins.

I don't have a cat.

I have no idea what that small furry thing was that rolled the Magic 8 Ball into my den and has been urging me to drink from the Intoxicating Bowl; but both I and the Magic 8 Ball have run screaming out of the house (I do not know where the Magic 8 Ball went; we headed off in different directions). I am now at the public library using one of their computers (the one I am using is oozing some green stuff out of the monitor, but I believe this is normal).

Anyway, as such, the Magic 8 Ball is no longer available today. Look in again next year.

I am now leaving to go down the street to The Shameless Shamrock Bar and Grill in order to meet my dog, Mr Puddles, who has kindly invited me to have an adult beverage.

Bye all and Happy Hollidays.

 

[breezy1077]

I just realized something as I was enjoying the latest cocktail provided by my cat, Mr Muffins.

I don't have a cat.

I have no idea what that small furry thing was that rolled the Magic 8 Ball into my den and has been urging me to drink from the Intoxicating Bowl; but both I and the Magic 8 Ball have run screaming out of the house (I do not know where the Magic 8 Ball went; we headed off in different directions). I am now at the public library using one of their computers (the one I am using is oozing some green stuff out of the monitor, but I believe this is normal).

Anyway, as such, the Magic 8 Ball is no longer available today. Look in again next year.

I am now leaving to go down the street to The Shameless Shamrock Bar and Grill in order to meet my dog, Mr Puddles, who has kindly invited me to have an adult beverage.

Bye all and Happy Hollidays.

Ummm...are ya sure ya didn't eat any "brownies" with your coctail?

Happy Holidays!

 

[ImMarcik]

It must be quite a letdown to realize you don't own a cat. Thanks for shaking the magic 8 ball for me. I am very optimistic about the answer.

 

[EdiePA]

For those of you who didn't get your questions in on time -- the Magic 8 Ball is available online.

Magic 8 Ball

Edie

 

[legalsea]

For those of you who didn't get your questions in on time -- the Magic 8 Ball is available online.

Magic 8 Ball

Edie

Just dropped in to say that said web site is not me (looks like Purdue University; is that true?)