Earlier on today some Maelstromers were discussing child control and wondering how to get 11 year olds, and others, to obey. Ice cream was suggested. Now, we don't use ice cream for that in the happyhaunt household. Ice cream is kept in the farthest corner of the freezer and used, principally, for "adult" milkshakes. When we have company. For dinner. And rarely but sometimes, too, when The General visits. For lunch. The General loves her a good shake. And I love The General much more when she's had an "adult" milkshake or two. Only. She doesn't realize what the "adult" part entails. Heh, heh. In fact, I don't think the kids even KNOW we have ice cream in the house. So, that being said, we don't use ice cream for child control.
I'm cheap.
We have ANOTHER method. I will explain with a shortish example. In the form of an aside:
Today all the happyhaunts loaded into our dirty, old van for the ride to the Carpet Store. We had to choose carpet because ALL of the house's carpet must be replaced. Now. Thanks to Calvin. Actually... thanks, Calvin !!!! You ROCK! I love you... El Destructo! And everyone wanted to vote on the kind and colour. We need carpet for the WHOLE upstairs and also for the living/dining room downstairs. Big job. The quote was 4 days work by the manfriends. Thanks, again, Calvin!
We took one of the main roads through town to get there. But not the one I usually take. 'Cause Mellyman was driving and he refuses to go any way I suggest. On principle. I don't usually take this particular road. But I, always, forget WHY.
We're driving along. Kids are chatting in the back nicely. Mellyman is driving. Slightly faster than my Mother. Slightly. And I am singing along to the CD:
" Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long time
Stole many a man's soul and faith... "
Everyone is happy. We are the thrifty, travelling, weekend happyhaunts. So happy. Until:
"ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH... ah, ah, ah... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"
It's Calvin. Screaming like someone has set him on fire. Eardrums shatter. Mellyman swerves. Nearly into the lane of oncoming traffic. Adrenaline rushes. Someone soils themself. The screaming just continues. DH bellows for Calvin to stop. And I realize what the matter is. Why I HATE taking this road. I turn to Mellyman, " It's the wavy guy." He looks at me, " Oh. I forgot."
The WAVY GUY is this thing outside a car dealership. It is very tall and made of something like parachute material. It's a guy with arms and a face but no legs... just like a body tube. It's red. And there's a machine that blows air up it. So it moves, waves, and "dances". So to speak. That's the wavy guy. And the subject of many, many, many of Calvin's nightmares. Since he was three years old and first saw the wavy guy. He often wakes me crying. Saying that the wavy guy is outside the window of his bedroom. And is going to eat him. Yep.
At this point, Calvin has calmed down. 'Cause we've passed the dealership. But Beth is making fun of him, now. It's ON. Full ON. And Tommy is laughing his little butt off. So Calvin starts getting upset by the teasing and starts calling Beth names like... well... Bunny-face. It's the teeth. She has my large teeth. So does he. So I really don't know why he chooses to bug her about hers. But... no matter.
DH can no longer take the racket and demands a group chill. No effect. Again. None. Now I get in on the act and tell them to be quiet. It's not working. So DH and I look at each other. It's TIME. For the big guns.
Mellyman: We're gonna PULL OVER if you don't can it!
Kids: blah, blah, blah (more general ruckus and no one listening)
Mellyman: I'm PULLING OVER!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!
He slows down and that's when they realize he's serious. Very. They start to panic. Now... the panic is on. Full ON. There is begging and apologizing and scrambling. But... it's too late. Much, much too late.
He pulls over to the shoulder. Stops. Three children are freaking. Because they know what is about to happen.
No.
Not spanking. Instead... DH and I start KISSING !!!!! That's right!!!! We kiss and kiss. Lips to lips. They are HORRIFIED. And sickened. They beg us to stop and promise to be good. If we NEVER, EVER do it again. Heh, heh. From then on... perfect behaviour. Perfect. It's the way to control your kids. I swear. Results everytime. And...
It's free.
(Disclaimer ~ never, ever, ever take child rearing advice from ME. But... you KNOW that by now)!!!
And... I ended up picking the carpet. As I knew I would. Because no one else has a vote. The kids realize this. DH doesn't. I had to remind him at the store.
And... Maelstrom!
with day visits here and there....hopefully our pool will be done soon thus less day visits.....which I personally don't care for!
Hey, I just thought of something -- maybe we can get rid of the mods - no locking of threads, just let me take care of it! 
Woo, hoo - Mel posted AFTER me!!
, every Buzz lightyear gun ever made, ever, and a few rifles that they sell outside the Indiana Jones Show). He donned his cammoflage soldier outfit and tried to "Drill Instructor" their little butts into gear...but it didn't work. It was pretty funny though...he tried to get them to drop and give him 20...but to no avail. When that didn't work, he went with the Darth Vader mask...which is only about 37 times too big for his little head...
hehehe
