The inlaws are now univited

[james'mommy]

I just got back from an awful trip to Cabo San Lucas with DH family. They paid for the house we stayed in. They do this every few years so that the family can get away together. My MIL is a very sarcastic woman. For years I have brushed off her insulting comments. I must have reached my limit when she told me "You are apparently stupid". Dh didn't rush to defend me which ticks me off. They woman also showed zero interest in my son during the trip devoting all her time to my SIL's kids. I told my DH that it will be a cold day in H*LL before I go away with these people again. The problem is that we had invited the in laws to go to Disney in December as a thank you for the money they spent in Cabo. So during the vacation I told my DH that he needed to let his parents know that they were no longer invited to Disney. I won't waste my points on them and I won't have my "happy place" ruined. DH insists that I wait until May to make a decision but I'm ready to call and cancel now. Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[Helene]

I'm with you on this one. We've never vacationed with the in-laws. However, if I were treated this way I wouldn't subject myself to it unnecessarily.

I sometimes have "sucked it up" through years of holidays & birthdays, but my vacation time is sacred!!

Good luck, I hope DH can work up the courage to back you on this.

 

[Willow25]

I am so sorry but a comment like that certainly warrants a major response. You and your DH need to make sure she understands that comments like that are not going to fly. If your DH wants them to go then he is going to have to stick up for you in those situations.

 

[JimR24]

Thank God you found out now. I just made the mistake of going with my in-laws in September - NEVER AGAIN!!! Stick to your guns and have fun with your family.

Oh and you know the difference between in-laws and outlaws?? Outlaws are wanted!!

 

[disneymayz]

What did you do for her to say that? Did you burn the toast? Everyone has a favorite no matter what they say. My kids are my mom's favorite and she plays with them more when the other kids are around. I think you should tell her how you feel it worked when my MIL was told that I can not stand her lies, I said that she needs to tell the truth cause she get caught.

 

[Neesy228]

My MIL must be related to yours! We've gone on several vacations with my IL's and I've put my foot down and said "NEVER again"....we spend so much money on our vacations and she has ruined entirely too many trips in my lifetime. I obviously can't change her, but I can certainly stay away from her...and that's what I intend to do.

My DH doesn't defend me either; he says that's it's just way she is and even if he would say something, it wouldn't matter. I've given up on that too.

It's up to me to stand up for myself, and I do. Consequently, I have very little to do with my IL's now and really, that's totally fine with me.

I hope you're able to stand your ground and get the trip to yourself. Good luck!

 

[james'mommy]

What did you do for her to say that? Did you burn the toast? Everyone has a favorite no matter what they say. My kids are my mom's favorite and she plays with them more when the other kids are around. I think you should tell her how you feel it worked when my MIL was told that I can not stand her lies, I said that she needs to tell the truth cause she get caught.

My DH had left the pool heater on all night because we like a warm pool (and nobody else could figure out how to work the controls). So the next day the entire family starts complaining that the pool isn't "refreshing". So DH turns the pool down to 82 degrees. We get back from a whale watching trip and people started getting in the pool. MIL starts complaining that the pool is too damn hot. All I said was that DH had turned it down the night before which earned me the "Well, you are apparently are stupid". It was just the final straw and I hit the wall and was tired of being picked on. Unfortunately I should have done these years ago because there have been many vacations taken as a family and many times she insulted me. But not anymore.

 

[disneybridetobe]

You go girl. Don't take that crap from anyone!

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

We must have the same MIL...wait I change that. My MIL HATES me but just loves all her other kid's S.O.'s. I just threw my DH a hugh 40the birthday party. She showed up empty handed and talked all night about her other kids and how great they all are and how successful they are (even though the one she is most proud of is 32 and still living at home rent free). She then stood up to make an announcement. Her son (not my DH the 32 yo) is getting married. She then said she is so proud of him and no woman could even ask for a better woman to marry her son. She then added that if she could have created a daughter in law it would be her.
So I am right there with you. The only difference is that I would never go on vacation with her even if she paid for a week at Cinderella's Castle...maybe then...there is a pretty high balcony with a very beautiful view...that is very high off the ground I could take her out there to...admire the view...that's the ticket.

 

[Mary T in PA]

Dang, I thought I was the only one who had Outlaws.. well I am very similar to the OP.. we don't get along. I hit my limit several years ago, and rather than get into a war of words, I choose not to visit them, luckily they live far away so it's a major trip for us. Instead, we go to Disney! My hubby says nothing, and I told him he's more than welcome to go visit his family, it will be him though and not me or our kids. The outlaws have pulled some stuff that I should write a book about. Luckily hubby sticks up for me and that's half the battle. I am not trying to be a wedge in his family but he once said he wants minimal contact with them and of course I get the blame. oh well,, more Disney for us!!

Mary

 

[ilandrazdsw]

So sorry that you had a lousy vacation and that your MIL is a witch with a capital B! Makes my MIL look like a saint .
Skip the ILs and have a magical trip.
Sounds like the first talk you need to have is with DH...he was the one who adjusted the water temperature, HE should have spoken up AND told his mother it was not appropriate to talk to you like that at any time.

 

[Stacerita]

I would have uninvited them too.

 

[Schmeck]

I feel so sorry for all of you with outlaws! I have the best MIL, and the FIL is nuts in a good way (most of the time ) so he's lots of fun to be around. One of our best WDW trips was when they came down and joined us at AKL. FIL was picked to be in the "Taming of the Shrew" skit in the Italy pavilion, and he was awesome! We've taken tons of vacations together.

Hmmmmm.... Maybe I should start a new business - Rent-an-inlaw! You could rent them for special occasions (like your wedding) or for vacations, etc.

To the OP - definitely stick to your guns and keep them uninvited, unless the twitch has an epiphany and apologizes, and changes her ways, and makes up for all her earlier wickedness and... hey, I did say she'd need to have an epiphany first!

 

[DarthKTrava]

Definitely UNINVITE them! They're *SO* not worthy of a Disney trip. So what if they paid for a whole trip if they're gonna be such sarcastic, stupid stuck up morons? They don't deserve to go... and if they ask why not... tell them they're such a-holes and don't deserve it. Be blunt if you have to but stick up to what's right for you. And don't expect hubby to badmouth his parents... some people just won't admit their parents are jerkwads.

 

[fireflymedic]

stick to your guns,

make sure your husband knows NO means NO and you aint changing your mind

 

[daleswife]

See, Im the opposit. I would take my mother in law before I take my mom anywhere ever again. We had a bad trip to Disney this past august. My mom and dad paid for the whole trip and I do appreciate that. BUT we took my drug head sister and her husbad (who is a child at 39), and it ruined everything for us. They put pot in their suitcase that was in the back of my truck on the way down. and my mom defended them. Never again. seems like no matter what I do its not good enough for her. I guess cause Im not a druggy then I dont count......

 

[DISNEYNV]

Good for you for changing your mind about bringing the ILs with you on your next FAMILY trip to Disney. I would just go and have a great vacation! The last thing I would want is to be miserable at the Happiest Place in the World! Good luck telling them and make sure your hubby is on the same "page" as you are. He needs to be supportive of your family and your needs and feelings regardless of his mothers negative attitude towards you

 

[Vacation Lover]

I'm going to go against the grain here and agree with your husband. He's (apparently, from what I'm interpreting) not telling you to let them go, just to wait a couple of months before you uninvite them.

Waiting will give you some time to cool off and figure out exactly what you want to say to them in a diplomatic and honest way. If you do it now, they'll just assume you're being "hotheaded" after the disasterous Cabo trip; plus, there is plenty of time for them to try to change your mind and get between you and your husband before the Dec. trip. If you wait, the action will be well thought out and obvious that you mean business.

Good luck!

 

[Elmo888]

Three points...

1. Tell DH that three months isn't going to make your MIL nicer. Or enjoy your child more.
2. Sarcasm is awful. I read an awful definition about how much it hurts the recipient, and it really makes me think before I open my piehole, esp. with DDs.
3. I think that people don't realize how compatible you need to be to travel with someone else. I traveled a few times to Europe with my mother, and, other than one instance, it went very smoothly. She has since traveled with her sister and my sister, and, not so much. It is very difficult to travel with other people, and if they don't have the same traveling style, it is just not fun for anyone. I think that you travel well with your spouse because you are more naturally compatible (you picked each other!). Does that make sense?

I wouldn't back down. Please come back here if you need some support in May!

 

[christa112]

That is aweful situation to be in. I can't imagine having to tell my IL's they are uninvited, but I can also understand where you are coming from. I think my MIL would drive me nuts if we vacationed with her. She is from Italy and hasn't really grasped the American culture even though she has lived her almost 40 yrs.

But I can also say I am not sure if I would ever vacation with my mother again either. We vacationed with her at the World last Sept, talk about a nightmare!!!!