The inlaws are coming....need to vent...

[handsfull]

well this trip was orignally for my imediate family and close friends....
well...
as a suprise for my husband...I called up his step brother...who currently lives in Austrailla....and invited to him to come with us....
even though it was short notcie...he said he could get the time off...and the money together...and he would come....(they were extremely close growing up...my BIL moved away when he was in his early 20s....and kept in touch with my husband...but they haven't seen eachother in nearly 20 years!)
Well I was really excited and my husband and family still don't know....my BIL and his family, himself, wife, and 2 sons, 5 and 7....will meet us at Disney the night we arrive..there staying at the Contemp...we'll meet up for a suprise dinner at the MK....I'm excited....
Well, me and my big mouth blurbed the secret to my husbands dad....and...since they haven't seen him in 20yrs either....decided they'll come down as well, for a week and stay at OKW is a studio...
Well when my husbands mother heard, she said she would like to go too...and invited herself....she's going to stay with us...
but once MY mom and dad heard this...they were somewhat upset that we hadn't contacted them about this...and decided to go too, to visit the grand-kids...
but of course...when my sister heard this...she decided that she had to go as well....she didn't want to feel left out....herself, her husband, and 2 kids....9 months and 3....and my parents are staying in one of the cabins....
And to make maters a little more crowded....my friends family...had the same feeling...and now on their side...6 extra people are coming....

so to re-cap....
these are the people going...

Poly...
1) myself
2) husband
3) DS 14/15
4) DD 4
5) DD 4
6) DS 2
7) DS 2
8) DS 2
9) DF
10) DF's husband
11) DFS 15
12) DFD 5
13) DFD 1
32) grandma

Cont.
14) BIL
15) SIL
16) DS 7
17) DS 5

OKW...
18) grandma
19) grandpa

Cabin...
20 ) grandma
21) grandpa
22) DSis
23) BIL
24) DNiece 9 months
25) DNephew 3

scattered through out....
25-31) my friends family....

I don't know whats more shocking....the fact that all these people are coming...or the fact that they got the money together whithin days....(this all happened in the last month alone)

so to recap..I'm quite nervous...what once was a a social gathering has become a family reunion....I'm not really mad...but nervous...will this put a damper on our stay? I don't think so...but then again get 30 people together for dinner reservations, going through parks, and hanging out together....it may be another story....
At least all of us get together....I hope
I leave thursday....wish me luck...

 

[Megan's Mom]

Bless your heart!!!

 

[C.Ann]

Bring a CASE of extra-strength Tylenol.. Better yet, if you have any prescription pain killers bring them as well...

----------------------

When we went in 2001, it was me (Grandma), my grown DD, her DH, my soon-to-be 3 yr. old granddaughter, my son-in-law's parents, and 3 of my son-in-laws aunts..

It was TOUGH.. No one wanted to do the same things at the same time.. No one wanted to eat the same things - or in the same restaurants.. I can't tell you the HOURS we lost with everyone standing around in a circle deciding, "Well, do we want to do that?" - "Oh, I don't want to eat there - I want seafood.." - "You mean we have to watch the parade NOW??" - and on and on and on..

I don't know HOW you're ever going to manage with a group that large, but I'll say a BIG prayer for you!!

Try to have fun anyhow - and don't let ANYONE ruin it for you..

(DD, granddaughter & I are going back to Disney in December - JUST the 3 of us - to do it "our" way..)

 

[phorsenuf]

Geesh...first thing I thought of when reading this was the image of tour groups! Don't forget you flag and matching T-shirts!!!


I'm sure it will all work out fine! Just don't feel you need to be the one either to entertain and make all the plans! Enjoy yourself!!

 

[AreWeThereYet]

Ok, so one day we get this great idea to let my MIL come on our summer vacation to Disney with us. This is after years of MIL making comments like "All my friends get to go on vacation with their kids" and "I wish I could do that, I've always wanted to!"

We figure, one more person, how much trouble can that be?

RIGHT!!

Long story short = we had another 3-year old on the trip with us and ended up having the worst vacation ever. Niether of my DD's wanted to even talk to MIL by the end of the trip. From that point on we decided family vacations meant "permanent residents of our house" were invited.

We may try again in the future, but for now we are going solo.



Now Handsfull, the only suggestion I have is to send each of your family members a good restaurant listing and be willing to make some PS for them, but don't necessarily volunteer to coordinate all activities for everyone - that's no vacation!!

Best of luck!!

 

[bobcat]

I will pray for your sanity! Seriously I would set ground rules before you go or there will be some hurt feelings. Don't feel you all have to stay together all the time, staying in different resorts should help. Plan a few dinners or special events that you can get together with each other. Mary at www.mousesavers.com has tips for planning large gatherings at WDW and even has a trip report about her family reunion at WDW. Good luck and make sure to let us know how it goes!

 

[Donald23]

Oh My! I would just be glad that all of your family is still around to enjoy each other. One day you will look back on this and be glad that you were all alive and able to go to the most magical place on earth together.

I just tend to count my blessings. My father had a stroke earlier this year and it just puts things in the right place for me. We were lucky that he was able to go with us two years ago. We were hoping he could go with us this year but it will just be too much for him. I just thank God everyday that I still have him and my mom to share my dreams with. They will go again. I know it. It is just too soon after his stroke for him to travel. Lucky he did not have a very bad stroke and he has began to gain most of his muscle strength back. It will just take time and boy am I glad that we have time together.

Just try to remember that each day is special. Be glad you were given one more day. Make the most of what you have and be thankful for what you do have.

Have a wonderful trip!


Dona Disney Vacation Starts June 21, 2003

 

[Baloo]

WOWZA!!! What a group! The tour flag thing cracked me up!!!
I agree don't you feel like you have to be the tour guide!


Have a wondeful trip and let us know how it went!!

 

[lmhall2000]

Okay, my first reaction was "what a tough lesson to learn to keep secrets to YOURSELF!!" but my second reaction was "HOW WONDERFUL!!!!" How many people would be able to have access to that many relatives at one of the most fun places in the US? Consider yourself lucky.

1. Send a special note to each family's room stating how wonderful it is to have everyone there- but with 37 odd people getting together may be difficult. First and foremost we want everyone to enjoy their vacation- many have travelled far to get here. Maybe try and plan one big shindig- like hoop-de-doo or meet at the campfire at Fort Wilderness one night. Those who want to plan individual visits together can do so but shoot for 3 events where everyone can meet up and see each other- like the entry way to the parks or a fun day at the water parks with everyone.

2. Give yourself a pat on the back for starting something wonderful- and enjoy every minute of it- there won't be many times like these and your kids will hopefully one day invite you when they go!

Tara

 

[GasMan65]

Good luck - sounds like the start of the vacation from Hades.

I hope you and your kids have fun!

GT

 

[deb305]

We've gone to WDW with extended family. First time a mini disaster second time a lot better. Some suggestions:
- If possible have different sub-groups equipped with Cell phones. That way you can make plans on the go rather than waiting and waiting and waiting for everyone to get to a predetermined spot at a predetermined time that no one ever makes.
- Only schedule a few 'must meets" during the trip. Whether it is a meal together or a nightly swim.
- Nothing worse than waiting for everyone to start and end their day at same time, accept that each of you will have a different schedule. Our then 3 year old would get up a 6:00 but be ready to sleep by 8. Grandparents could not be blasted out of bed before 8, and we won't even talk about brother's pre-teen night owls (not sure they knew what breakfast was).
- Remember no one will be happy all the time. Focus on your children's enjoyment. Don't try to see everything. If your kids are excited about spending time together with cousins at the happiest place on earth let them - whether it is going to the parks together or just hanging out at the hotel. Conversly if they don't get along, then focus on what they want to see, everyone else will catch up.

Have fun. Don't try to make everyone happy, just be happy yourself.
Good Luck!!

 

[handsfull]

thanks you so much for all your help and support...

What makes this even more difficult is the fact that nearly all of us is new to Disney World....

I don't have a problem if they all know that this is for the KIDS, and not just mine! this is trip is not about the whole family thing....I know that may sound selfish....

I'm lucky to have a great extended family...we all get along extremely well....the cousins play...and the aunts and uncles talk...etc....but at disney I'm skeptical....between the heat...and eachother....I know there will be several melt downs...thats when having the extra hands come in handy...

we have picked up some more walkie talkies...and we're all meeting tonight for our farewell dinner....hopefully then I can give the ground rules, do's and don'ts...

not sure how the park schedual will work...thats a lot of people in one park at a time....I'm sure there will be many afternoon swims...and family gatherings...

thank you again....I really do love these boards...and thank you for all your blessings....I'll need them...

 

[Memaw2Wm]

In 1992, my sisters, my dad, the BILs and all the nieces and nephews went to Disney during Christmas week. We had a blast!

But we did NOT hang out together the entire time. My sister, Alison made reservations for lunch or dinner each day for the entire group the rest of the time we did our own thing. There were days when it was just me, DH and DS, other times we were with a sister and her family.

Next summer I am taking my children, DIL and grandchildren to Disney for a land/sea vacation. There will be seven of us. Since I've been before and am nutty about planning, I will be making the daily intinerary's and ps reservations, but I will leave open times for everyone to do their own thing.

Last summer when it was just me, my daughter and her two children we split up in the afternoons ... by 1-2PM my 7 y.o. grandson was ready for a pool break, while his 5½ y.o. sister wanted to stay at the parks ... so I ended up taking a break with William, while Cissy stayed at the parks with her mom. We'd meet up later on. This work wonderfully for us.

 

[Bear Necessities]

Sounds to me that you have a big heart! I hope all goes well as planned and your family has a wonderful time!!! Let us know how the big surprise goes!!!

 

[BevS97]

Wow - I think you have the makings of an amazing vacation, or a complete nightmare - it just depends on everyone's expectatoins before you go. I think it's probably a good idea to make sure everyone understands what's going to happen before you get there, so you don't have hurt feelings later. I like lmhall2000's idea of a note, but I think I would send it before you travel - maybe you could include invitations to specific events, or an itinarary - something like you would get if you were attending a conference. These are the times we will try and be together, and mark the rest as 'free time'.

I wouldn't even attempt to move through the parks together - it's way too many people and everyone will get cross and grumpy because they aren't doing what they want to do - and as others have said, the waiting around trying to gather everyone together will drive you mad.

We are going with a group of 18 in December - 5 families who are all staying in seperate places , our plan is to have 3 or 4 events whcih we will all be at, and the rest of the time we will be in our own family groups, or 1 or 2 groups may join up as we choose.

Two things we hope to do as a group - the ice cream social at Garden Grill, and a barbeque at someone's off site villa - both laid back casual things.
We might also all go to MK on the same day, but we won't move around together, but I think it will be fun to all be there together, as we are likely to bump into each other and do a few rides together and then move on.

How about setting up a rough schedule, maybe arrange some pool time to meet up, if there is a pool with a bar nearby that would work well for my family, the younger ones in the pool and the oldies can have a drink and a chat at the same time.

A BBQ at the Cabin at Fort Wilderness might be fun too - quite a relaxed location where you can chill out a little. Not that you will fit 37 into 1 cabin, but I'm guessing there is some outside space around the cabins, and you would have access to the kitchen - I think this would be more relaxed and fun than trying to get everyone into a fancy restaurant, since 37 people can't really mingle in a restaurant, you tend to end up at lots of different tables and you only really speak to the few people you are seated with.

 

[cinmell]

Good luck! Sounds like it will be fun but make sure that everyone knows you don't have to do EVERYTHING together. Do things on your own too for your sanity. I've been on vacation with family and it stinks when everyone feels as though they have to go everywhere together the whole time because people are always late, complain about not wanting to do a certain activity, etc. Have fun and enjoy your family! Sounds like it will be an amazing time!

 

[mat2672]

Heres the bottom line. Do what you have to do for your family to have a great vacation, no matter what. And if that means blowing off someone elses idea for something to do, so be it. Its naieve to think that all those people are going and there wont be some instances where tension might arise because this party wants this and the other wants that. Just be strong and be as nice as you can be, but make sure you get what you want out of your vacation for your little group. you deserve it. I know we all want to be as nice as possible and it sounds mean to be upset that this group is now coming or whatever, but Im with you. Im not a big fan of people inviting themselves to my vacation. They may not mean any harm, but when you get too many people throwing their own idea's around, theres going to be trouble. There will always be that one person who has to have things their own way and will take it personally if you dont agree. I hope it works out for you, but if you have to, kick some butt to make your own family happy!!!!

 

[4greatboys]

Why dont you just make a few plans that include everyone and make a few plans that include just your family and your bil family. That way everyone can visit and do some "together" stuff and still each has time to do the things that are important to their family.

 

[swilphil]

Bless your heart! Use the good suggestions here about planning a few gatherings, but not trying to do everything together. Remember it's YOUR vacation. Also set ground rules and give each family a note.

Make lemons into lemonade--use grandparents as babysitters. Hopefully they can handle it. Maybe you and dh can go off with bil by yourselves, or you can take the twins or triplets off to do something the other kids won't want to do. Try to relax!!!

 

[HokieDad]

Great advice from everyone. If it were me, I would establish a plan and invite anyone to tag along. If a disagreement came up in the park, offer to meet the other people somewhere after you follow that part of the plan. If you are firm enough, they will eventually learn to go or fly. For example, tell them you are eating at Liberty at 1PM and doing Toonland from 2-4. If someone counters with "I want to eat at Pecos", say "Then we'll see you at Toonland at 2". Some people will go along with you because you know what you are doing and they like structure. Others will go their merry way.

Indecision breeds chaos. Structure and discipline bring security.