The in-laws didn't catch the Disney bug.

[solstice621]

In fact, I don't think they "get it" at all. I wasn't sure where to post this, so I figured this would be the best place. We just got back from a trip to WDW last week. We have been many times, but this was my inlaws first trip there in 20 years or so. We thought they would love seeing their grandchildren enjoy WDW. Unfortunately, they just didn't get it. I think all they saw were dollar signs. So many comments were made about the money that is spent at WDW, not just by us, but everyone who goes there. We had 4 ADR's scheduled and they made me cancel 2 of them (including dinner with the Princesses!), then backed out at the last minute of another one because they didn't want to spend the money. Now, I totally get the $$ aspect. It is a lot to spend. But we are frugal in ALL other areas of our lives. We NEVER go out to eat, live on a budget, I rarely go shopping for DH or I, and we are not big spenders. Our WDW trips are our big events of the year. We have discounted AP's through DVC, which is 2 months away from being paid off, and 85% of our meals while in WDW are eaten in our room.

Why oh why then am I letting them get to me? We are back and now I feel guilty and feel like I need to explain myself again to them (about why/how much money we spend). I know I should just let it go. It 's just unfortunate that the money issue had to put a damper on my memories from the trip.

Sigh.

 

[PixieTl]

sorry they didn't decide to enjoy the trip and focused on the $$, that's too bad. :hugs: Don't beat yourself up about it, ppl spend money where they choose, for a lot of us our Disney trips are something we save for and plan out, we know what we are getting into! For other people they will drop serious money of stuff the rest of us marvel at, but will still complain about how much other things cost.
on a side note, I think it was pretty rude of them to insist on having the princess dinner cancelled, at the very least, they should have backed out and not interfered with you and your girls going! Those are things you just can't get back! Your girls are only going to be 'princess age' for a short time!
It's hard to not let family opinions/actions bug you but focus on the good parts of your trips! And um maybe not invite them on anymore Disney trips!? lol

 

[DizBelle]

Why did them not wanting to have dinner with the princesses mean that you and your DH and kids couldn't have dinner with the princesses?

 

[WDSearcher]

In fact, I don't think they "get it" at all. I wasn't sure where to post this, so I figured this would be the best place. We just got back from a trip to WDW last week. We have been many times, but this was my inlaws first trip there in 20 years or so. We thought they would love seeing their grandchildren enjoy WDW. Unfortunately, they just didn't get it. I think all they saw were dollar signs. So many comments were made about the money that is spent at WDW, not just by us, but everyone who goes there. We had 4 ADR's scheduled and they made me cancel 2 of them (including dinner with the Princesses!), then backed out at the last minute of another one because they didn't want to spend the money. Now, I totally get the $$ aspect. It is a lot to spend. But we are frugal in ALL other areas of our lives. We NEVER go out to eat, live on a budget, I rarely go shopping for DH or I, and we are not big spenders. Our WDW trips are our big events of the year. We have discounted AP's through DVC, which is 2 months away from being paid off, and 85% of our meals while in WDW are eaten in our room.

Why oh why then am I letting them get to me? We are back and now I feel guilty and feel like I need to explain myself again to them (about why/how much money we spend). I know I should just let it go. It 's just unfortunate that the money issue had to put a damper on my memories from the trip.

Sigh.

I know you know this , but not everyone HAS to like Disney! Your in-laws are allowed to not "get it". I'm sure they enjoy things that you can't fathom.

In fact, that's your in-road. If you feel as though you have to explain yourself adn the amount of money you spend, find something that they spend money on -- cruises, golf, collectibles, movies, whatever -- and equate it to that. "Well, MIL, I guess Disney to us is like antiquing to you. You love to scour estate sales and find a great deal. I love to scour online vacation sites and find a great deal. You purchase an expensive piece because you love it. I go to Disney because I love it. Same thing -- just a different experience!" Let her know that you invited them along to enjoy the kids' reactions, and that you hope they enjoyed it from that standpoint. Share photos or video or make them a memory book. And then let it alone.

You don't have to explain yourself to them any more than they should be required to explain themselves to you. But if you choose to talk it out, just be sure you don't look at them as being WRONG. They're not bad people because they don't like WDW. They're not "wrong". They just have different likes and dislikes.

I don't get why someone would pay $1200 for a purse. I have friends, however, who are salivating over their tax refunds in order to do just that!

 

[Julylady]

I sympathize with you! I had a Grandmother who could not enjoy herself at a restaurant because all she could think about was how much cheaper she could have made dinner at home. At least she had an excuse since she was raising a large family during the Great Depression.

My brother and sister-in-law are also very $$ conscious. They view the entire world through how much things cost. However, my brother was down-sized a few years ago and money for them is very tight. I think its a sad way to live, though.

They went with us to Disney last summer and I purchased the dining plan for all of us. My brother had helped me out with some things at my house and I told him this was my way of paying him back.

At Disney, I explained the food was already paid for and they would be wasting money if they did not order the full amount allowed at each meal. That worked great! They got to try some menu items that they would have never paid for themselves (they always order the cheapest thing on the menu and/or share meals.) It was fun for me to watch them "live it up" for once.

Just an idea for next time.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I wouldn't worry about it.

In the future, I wouldn't change my plans. Especially if I did due dilligence and reported what things would cost and whomever the invited was agreed to those expenses. No, I'm not going to change my plans just b/c you suddenly feel it is too expensive. That is why we discussed this AHEAD of time. My husband is a little that way. That is why I am contemplating on a future trip to just do Disney dining plan since it will take away the sting. May not be the best deal, but not having to pay the tab on site, will suit him better. It is just a psychological thing.

It could be that the are just cheap vs. frugal. Frugal people will plan for something and try to do it the least expensive way possible, while still enjoying it. Cheap people cringe at any dime spent and would complain that the dollar store is too expensive.

It probably isn't Disney.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

Oh, I would not have cancelled my ADR's. They may not have wanted to go, but we would have gone without them. Were they paying for it or something?

I understand how you feel though because my DIL's don't get it either. They went a few years ago, just the two of them, for Christmas. It was so packed that they left after two days and vowed they would never return. They don't understand why we love it so much, so I don't even talk to them about it any more. We go and have fun, and that's that.

 

[kimmar067]

...I think you need to keep them off your 'Who To Invite on Vacay' List....feel free to add ME to that list, though...

...but, srsly, don't let others' opinions get in the way of YOUR happiness. You and your DH know what sacrifices you make throughout the year so that you can truly ejoy yourself while on vacation - if it doesn't bother YOU, it's no one else's business....

 

[kimmar067]

...In the future, I wouldn't change my plans. Especially if I did due dilligence and reported what things would cost and whomever the invited was agreed to those expenses. No, I'm not going to change my plans just b/c you suddenly feel it is too expensive. That is why we discussed this AHEAD of time. My husband is a little that way. That is why I am contemplating on a future trip to just do Disney dining plan since it will take away the sting. May not be the best deal, but not having to pay the tab on site, will suit him better. It is just a psychological thing....

...ITA - sometimes my DH can be the same way....

 

[disneychic2]

I agree with the pp who said not to worry about it. I'm a grandma and can't wait to share Disney with my grandkids. Unfortunately, my daughters are not big into Disney, so not sure that's going to happen.

I don't think you need to explain your spending to anyone. That is personal and really none of their business. Too bad you cancelled your princess ADR, but sounds like you were under a lot of pressure.

My advice is to just start planning your next trip, without the inlaws, and focus on that. There are still lots of memories to be made!

 

[minniecarousel]

Look at it this way: you won't have to invite them on another WDW trip - ever!

 

[villain luvr]

We ahd a similar experience with my cousin and his GF. Do not let it ruin your trip. All that matters is that you have fun and that you do not mind spending what you do. DH and I go to DLR once every year. We save we plan and we do what we want and we spend a lot of money. We only go once a year and it is our main vacation for the year. Do not let others spoil your good time.

 

[BMC423]

I don't know how old your ILs are but they sound just like mine (in their 70s) Many times I've thought about inviting them to come with us, and then my dh goes if you do that you know what will happen... they'll ask how much everything cost and then complain about the price. My fil is now retired and I'm sure my mil thought that they would traveling after they he retired but thats not the case. They grumble and complain about how pricey everything is "they sure don't give it away" is their fav. quote lol. SO yeah don't worry about its just how they see the world. They prob. don't understand why anyone will spend that kind of money on a vacation. Just shrug it off and don't make any future plans with them.

 

[palavra]

My sisters and I all love Disney. We've taken our kids several times between the three of us. But, we've never even considered asking mom and dad to join us. We know they just wouldn't enjoy it. My father has never been a theme park kind of guy; give him a boat, fishing pole and a lake and he's happy. My mom would be distracted by money issues and the crowds.

We all would love to share the Disney experience with our parents, but, realistically, it is just not a good idea.

 

[solstice621]

Thanks everyone. Guess I just needed to vent. I absoutely know it is their right to not like Disney, I was just bummed that the entire trip became about the money. I had warned them ahead of time of all the costs, but they still complained even though they knew it all in advance.

To the person who asked how they made us cancel ADR's - it was more pressure then anything. I guess you could say they talked me out of it. For the sake of our sanity LOL, it was easier to just cancel the ADR's and go on with our trip. I was so bummed about it, but I know we will be going back so I'll put it (the princess dinner) on the list for next time. And all-in-all, we still had a good time.

 

[solstice621]

...I think you need to keep them off your 'Who To Invite on Vacay' List....feel free to add ME to that list, though...

Heehee

 

[Pakey]

While my inlaws would love a trip to WDW with us picking up the tab, nobody in my family would. I live 3 hours from Disneyland and neither of my parents or my brothers and their families have ever been.

I wouldn't dream of inviting them to WDW.

 

[Hoodie]

Look at it this way: you won't have to invite them on another WDW trip - ever!

That was my thought!

An easy out from a vacation with the in-laws!

 

[Robinrs]

I've decided to NEVER take anyone with me on vacation EVER!! Bad experiences galore.

I reiterate the PPs, no need to make reasoning out of your finances, you alone make that decision.

 

[kimmar067]

...To the person who asked how they made us cancel ADR's - it was more pressure then anything. I guess you could say they talked me out of it. For the sake of our sanity LOL, it was easier to just cancel the ADR's and go on with our trip. I was so bummed about it, but I know we will be going back so I'll put it (the princess dinner) on the list for next time. And all-in-all, we still had a good time.

...good for YOU! BTW ~ MY favorite princess is Belle...