The in-laws didn't catch the Disney bug.

[rie'smom]

My husband, my sons, my mom and dad all cannot stand Disney World. It doesn't ruin my day. My daughter and I love going to Universal and Disney so we go without them. There is no way that I would explain why I spend money there- heck we're DVC members and sometimes I don't feel like staying at one of the villas or DD and I decide to go at the last minute and we stay at another Disney resort.
OP, you took them on a great trip and now you're obligation is over. You can enjoy your future trips knowing you at least you were nice.

 

[solstice621]

They chose to pay for a breakfast at Crystal Palace to pay us back, which was really sweet. They are relatively local and I know they don't often eat table service meals while there, so this was really neat! CP has the prices posted outside, we were standing there, I know they saw the prices. But when the meal came, my poor cousin couldn't keep the shock off her face as she saw the total for 5 adults and 3 kids. I quietly made sure her husband knew that we would be happy to chip in, which might not have been as gracious as it felt at the time, but I was honest. I've been shocked by a restaurant total before, and it's a horrible feeling.

So it's possible they just started adding things up (does the princess meal have the prices posted outside? could they have seen it at some point?) and it stunned them too much.


I feel for the OP and I also feel for the parents, because maybe they were just stunned and couldn't help themselves.

This is very similar to what happened with us. We went to Chef Mickey's on our 2nd day, and that total for 4 adults and 2 kids pretty much put them into shock. It's not that they can't afford it, it's more that they are not used to spending that much on a breakfast (and really, who is used to it? LOL). I guess all that prepping beforehand didn't help much. It was the sticker shock that got them!

 

[GeorgeG]

You tried to do something good. We all learn from these things, so just scratch them off future vacation plans. Even if you go to other places my guess would be there would still be some of the same issues since many vacation destinations require speding money.

I gave up on encouraging friends and family from joining us at WDW unless they really want to go. Then, I make sure I prepare them regarding the costs and activities. Still, there have been a few who thought I was exagerating. We even had some friends who were told by the FIL not to spend money on vacations because that money should be going to a particular cause.

We're pretty flexible when at WDW with friends/family since learning years ago that we don't all share the same passions and/or are willing/able to spend what rooms and meals can cost. But, we've been to WDW many, many times and don't have that much of agenda these days. We're happy just being there.

 

[WDSearcher]

I didn't expect them to love it. I knew it could go either way. What I didn't expect was all the money talk - since I had prepped them way in advance.

I don't need them to love Disney or even like it. WE love it and I know we will be going back (already planning the next trip!) I'm just sad so much time was spent stressing over $$$. It made it all a bit less enjoyable.

Do you think that maybe the fact that you did prep them so much in advance MADE the trip all about money? I mean ... if they've been hearing about the cost of the trip for months, then of COURSE they're going to be looking at the price of everything. You've been telling them for months how expensive it is.

I know that hindsight is 20/20, but if you knew going in that it would be more expensive than they'd be comfortable with, I'd have dialed down on that element. Instead of saying, "OK, MIL, it's going to be expensive. Everything at Disney is expensive!", maybe show them how a Disney vacation isn't really all that much more expensive than any other family vacation and then come to some sort of agreement on how some of the time / money will be spent. Choose the Character breakfast OR the special sit-down restaurant, but not both. Skip things you know are particularly pricey and save them for a non-inlaw trip. Plan a few meals away from the parks in cheaper restaurants, or spend a few less days in the parks themselves and few more days doing the "free stuff" like Ft. Wilderness movies or fireworks at the beach. Show them how economical a trip to Disney can be and that you don't have to spend all that money to have fun as a family.

I think you might have shot yourself in the foot from the get-go by making it all about the money from the beginning.

 

[beaucoup]

Everyone has different interests and what they desire to spend their money on. Simple really.
If it was that important to you that they do a meal and they didn't want to pay for it, you perhaps should have picked up the tab and they never would have seen the bill to know the cost.

 

[Planogirl]

I can sympathize. I once took my mother along even though I had misgivings. She wanted to experience this place that we visited so often and said that she would be fine with however it turned out.

Of course, she hated it and ranted and raved just about the whole time. It wasn't really the money for her but she disliked the crowds and the walking and the rides and just about everything. I got so tired of the complaining that we ended up fighting at one point. I just couldn't take it any more.

I know others who have gone to WDW and weren't really thrilled with it or were just OK with it. Those people are fine IMO. I just can't stand the negative complainers.

 

[arminnie]

It's possible that being older, they are weighing the value of money differently than you might be at a younger age. They are closer to retirement. Have less years to save all that they need. A 3rd or 4th dinner out may not just be worth it to them. Also, they grew up in much simpler times and much simpler vacations, and the whole Disney vacation probably seems very lavish to them. Even a budget Disney vacation.

I knew that my parents would not spend the money, so I paid for them. They had a good time however if my parents had to pay, there is no way they would have done some of the things we did or enjoyed the meals. It was the only large vacation they had ever taken in their entire lives. And it was only a few days.

The older I get, the more I get that. Just seen through different eyes than I did when I was younger.

That's a really good point. I was very frugal when working. I lost all of my money when I was about 40 and had to start over from scratch. Had to do some major budgeting to be able to retire.

Now I have been retired for almost 10 years and am almost 65. I've decided to start spending more of my money. I don't need to die with a big bank account. I just spend a large amount of money on a gut and replace everything remodel of the condo I just bought. I wouldn't have done that 5 years ago.

I saw what my dad's last years were like. And he had a pretty great lifestyle until almost 89. The last 6 months of his life were spent in an independent living retirement community. He pretty much ate and slept. No money was being spent except for his residence. I could do that out of my social security so again I don't plan to spend huge amounts of money when I am old old. It helps that I live in a very low cost living area.

We're pretty flexible when at WDW with friends/family since learning years ago that we don't all share the same passions and/or are willing/able to spend what rooms and meals can cost. But, we've been to WDW many, many times and don't have that much of agenda these days. We're happy just being there.

Me too and I am not even local. I went once during F&W festival when my guests didn't want anything to do with that "weird" stuff and wanted some good American food - i.e. chicken fingers. No problem. I just went to F&W again a couple of weeks later w/o them.

But as a retiree I have the time and while not unlimited funds enough to be able to take a second trip. Most do not have this option at this stage of their lives.

 

[LuvLDM]

Perhaps it's not a matter of your in-laws "getting it". It sounds like they just don't really enjoy Disney & all that goes w/ it.
People are allowed to not like Disney.

 

[Pigeon]

I'm pretty cheap. I love Disney, we save for it and we have a great time, but I will say that there are some WDW activities that I know I wouldn't enjoy doing because I think the costs are insane. I read on these boards about the folks who stay in the Deluxes, with concierge service and all that, and I just scratch my head. If I were Bill Gates, I wouldn't do those things.

But this is why I refuse to go on vacations with anybody other than my immediate family. They cost too much, and we have too little vacation time as it is to have to adjust our activities to somebody else's expectations. I'm so sorry your ILs got on your nerves.

 

[laurafergie]

I could have written OP's post.

We took my parents to DW this Christmas. We asked them to come because we were going to stay over Christmas and they would have been alone.

We were going to camp at Fort Wilderness, but changed to a gorgeous house at Windsor Hills so the folks could be comfortable.

They were horrible to be around. The complaining about the crowds, the costs, the lines, nitpicked the house, complained about the weather. They would get pissy if we weren't with them 24/7. I could go on and on.

Like OP I was shocked. Not because they didn't "get Disney" - but because they took NO pleasure in watching the faces of the grandchildren, especially the youngest.

I even had to have a "talk" with them to cut it out. It was making everyone uncomfortable and the little kids were getting upset too. They behaved after that, but it was obvious they were just putting up with it.

Never, ever, ever again will I ask anyone to vacation with us. Not ever.

 

[IdesOmarch]

I know soooooo many people like that. And its not just on vacations, you could go to the local grocery and they would find something to constantly complain about. What is up with this? And its not a small population of people, i honestly know tons of folks, that just have to constantly complain about things. Can anyone explain this phenomenon to me?

 

[Nancyg56]

I didn't expect them to love it. I knew it could go either way. What I didn't expect was all the money talk - since I had prepped them way in advance.

I don't need them to love Disney or even like it. WE love it and I know we will be going back (already planning the next trip!) I'm just sad so much time was spent stressing over $$$. It made it all a bit less enjoyable.

I totally understand. At least you know that you all went, they had the opportunity to enjoy Disney through their grandchildren's eyes and tht you did what you could so that they were not blindsided by the cost.

Some folks cannot help themselves, they cannot get past the cost of a resort or theme park vacation. They complain. It is their nature and while it is unpleasant for everyoen else they do not even hear themselves.

My DH is a very generous man, he takes his position as head of teh family seriously and is old fashioned about ot. On one of our trips he started complaining about the cost of the meals. He was just talking but I told him no more! He was planning to pay for all the meals not covered by the DDP as well as any extras everyone ordered so he had to "suffer in silence". I knew he was just talking but it would be uncomfortable for my kids and their family. He spent the rest of teh trip saying "It is only money." My son finally asked who was teh guy I came with and what had I done wioth Buddy.