- Joined
- Jan 19, 2006
- Messages
- 3,589
Chapter #1
So it is finally here...the day I have dreaded is within sight.
(Metaphorically people...I do own a calendar.)
My oldest son is going to be 18 this December and he is in love with himself and...Christmas Lights.
That's right... Christmas Lights. He is a freak.
I mean the type of Christmas Light Freakie boy (er...I mean man) that starts making 3D diagrams and architect renderings before Labor Day of our house and his lights.
Notice....I said His lights.
The kid will not take 3 seconds to take his underoos out of his jeans before throwing them in the laundry room, has a hard time taking more than 4 bites when he wolfs down a 12 inch Subway, uses a T and then a scribble to pass as his signature!
....but when it comes to Christmas Lights...
he is a freak.
He will spend hours babying and wrapping his lights. He spends days going through each bulb. He is Clark Griswold Jr. He is a freak.
It started about 5 years ago and has not slowed down. If anything it has ramped up because he now asks for lights for his Birthday and Christmas presents.
He has them up before Halloween...we do live in Minnesota where it is cold in the winter and he uses it as an excuse in regards to why they need to be stapled, shoved, duck taped, nailed and superglued into place before, "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown."
The truth though...he loves it and his grumblings and rantings and choice eskimo words are all part of the fun. He loves being up on the roof...dictating to those on the ground what to throw him next or standing in the street and looking like Michaelangelo at his masterpiece, not quite happy.
My sister loves to encourage his obsession and so when most normal people are taking their lights down in January...he, this past Tuesday...was putting up 10 more candy cane LED lights just to see their dimesions...and look at his lights.
He is worse than a chess junkie. He contemplates, gathers facts and figures, cross checks refrences on the "Christmas Lights for Masters" dictionary and critiques anyones display that may be sub-par.
Now we can all assume that he is not on the "Twin Cities Christmas Lights" limo tours. That is a fact because for his 16th B-day we surprised him with a race car limo ride. It included 7 friends ( total of 4 couples)
and they drank non-alcoholic champagne and drove 
around the cities for 2 hours ooohing and aaahing. It was almost like MTV's "My Super Sweet 16", without the super and only the sweet but he loved it.
So here it is...his 18th. He has not been to Disney since March 2005 and we have been twice since then. He is a football and soccer guy who is getting a full ride to college in 1 1/2 years and thus...very dedicated. That means no family vacations when he is in sports that include him...which is 12 months out of the year. What better place to celebrate turning 18 than Disney World if you are a card carrying member of the "Christmas Light Freaks of America" club???
I will introduce ourselves to you now...be prepared...the gang may grow...
This is Baylor. He just turned 12 and is the youngest. He likes to be a boy. He will tell you that. When he was 5 he was in dance because his brother and sister were and although he liked some of it...he did not last. I knew it was over for him when a male teacher (who is more feminine than
J-LO.) ...put him in a reindeer costume for the Christmas show. Baylor was Rudolph. The "red" nose was actually a pom pom glued to his tukkus. The teacher said..."at the end of the dance...turn around and shake your bottom to the audience." Baylor said in his very adult voice..."I am not like you...I am not gay...I don't dance that way."
Now I must explain that we are not a ****-phobic group...but Baylor has been around many gay people...some of his classmates he has said he believes are and he is okay with that...but Baylor...is not gay. He was just giving the teach a little FYI.
Baylor plays hockey, soccer and football and loves his friends...a special girl even...but school.....not so much. 
So he will be going...if he is not handcuffed to a desk next December.
This is Carsyn. She is 14 1/2 and is either in a great mood (texting me she loves me...making sure I am okay if I am late coming home...not killing me in my sleep
) but sometimes...she is a Freshman girl who is moody 
and can be...hold your shock...irratible
!
I say this with love because she really is a great spirit and champion of good...even in pointing out the immaturity of her classmates. She is very strong and is a good soccer player and has her first boyfriend
which makes her nice to me...cause guess what...Mom has dated before and I have a clue
!
She actually asks me for help when it comes to what a boy could mean by their inuendos and non verbal actions and she uses my advice and I love the fact she trusts me to be on her side...even if that means not agreeing with her about everything.
So then there was Treyner.
( I have spent 20 minutes trying to resize his pic and it is not saving...I am so sorry about the Jumbotron nostril pic...will edit soon!)
He is 17 and on his 3rd girlfriend. He loves girls...has since he was 3 and the other 2 girls lasted 3 years and 1 1/2 respectively.
He is not one to like the partying high school life and is foccused on college and sports. Mostly sports in college. He is a good student this year and very much the giver. Went on a mission trip to Mexico this past summer and plans on going again. He is open about his life to me...talks about things I sometimes wish I didn't know..(mommy...make the bad men go away...) but I would not trade him for the world. I was 19 and a sophmore in college when his Dad and I married and had him. He has been raised around adults his whole life and is more comfortable talking to them than kids most of the time. He does think he is awesome though...I often say..."I hope you can find someone to love yourself as much as you do."
He has actually sold his autograph at school for lunch money when he forgot some and was asked this summer to pose in front of a friends Mustang for some girls who saw him on the street. UGH!!!
BTW: He helped title the thread...guess which part...!
I do not have a great pic of me...I promise to put one up on the next installment. I know it won't be great but it will be me. Give me addresses to send condolences...
So here's is what I just did today...
Booked a 2 bedroom at OKW for Dec. 2-9th. We will stay at a value resort for the Fri. & Sat. stay because only Donald Trump or Queen Elizabeth can afford a weekend night for points! (I wonder what their child would look like if they were to breed?
?)
I am already coveting restaurants...and cannot believe that there are 2 types of meal plans now! What possible animal could eat 3 meals a day with an appetizer, dessert, entree and drink??
I plan on the old standby $37.99 an adult meal plan, Thank You!
I will love advice and take any and all suggestions from you!! I hope you will laugh and maybe even get a little sappy form this thread. I know I will.
Thus this trip...it is all for him...and for me...cause I love him...most of the time...well actually all of the time...except when he smells like rotting flesh...which is after every game...which like I said...he plays a lot...so he smells...all of the time...except 20% of the time...which is when he is sleeping...and then...in the quiet of the night...I touch his head...and tuck him in...because I still can...and I want to...because he is turning 18 and he is so funny...and so cocky...and so loving...and such a good boy( er...I mean man) and he is my son..."Christmas Light Freak" and all.
So it is finally here...the day I have dreaded is within sight.
(Metaphorically people...I do own a calendar.)My oldest son is going to be 18 this December and he is in love with himself and...Christmas Lights.
That's right... Christmas Lights. He is a freak.
I mean the type of Christmas Light Freakie boy (er...I mean man) that starts making 3D diagrams and architect renderings before Labor Day of our house and his lights.
Notice....I said His lights.
The kid will not take 3 seconds to take his underoos out of his jeans before throwing them in the laundry room, has a hard time taking more than 4 bites when he wolfs down a 12 inch Subway, uses a T and then a scribble to pass as his signature!
....but when it comes to Christmas Lights...
he is a freak.
He will spend hours babying and wrapping his lights. He spends days going through each bulb. He is Clark Griswold Jr. He is a freak.
It started about 5 years ago and has not slowed down. If anything it has ramped up because he now asks for lights for his Birthday and Christmas presents.
He has them up before Halloween...we do live in Minnesota where it is cold in the winter and he uses it as an excuse in regards to why they need to be stapled, shoved, duck taped, nailed and superglued into place before, "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown."
The truth though...he loves it and his grumblings and rantings and choice eskimo words are all part of the fun. He loves being up on the roof...dictating to those on the ground what to throw him next or standing in the street and looking like Michaelangelo at his masterpiece, not quite happy.
My sister loves to encourage his obsession and so when most normal people are taking their lights down in January...he, this past Tuesday...was putting up 10 more candy cane LED lights just to see their dimesions...and look at his lights.
He is worse than a chess junkie. He contemplates, gathers facts and figures, cross checks refrences on the "Christmas Lights for Masters" dictionary and critiques anyones display that may be sub-par.
Now we can all assume that he is not on the "Twin Cities Christmas Lights" limo tours. That is a fact because for his 16th B-day we surprised him with a race car limo ride. It included 7 friends ( total of 4 couples)
and they drank non-alcoholic champagne and drove around the cities for 2 hours ooohing and aaahing. It was almost like MTV's "My Super Sweet 16", without the super and only the sweet but he loved it. So here it is...his 18th. He has not been to Disney since March 2005 and we have been twice since then. He is a football and soccer guy who is getting a full ride to college in 1 1/2 years and thus...very dedicated. That means no family vacations when he is in sports that include him...which is 12 months out of the year. What better place to celebrate turning 18 than Disney World if you are a card carrying member of the "Christmas Light Freaks of America" club???
I will introduce ourselves to you now...be prepared...the gang may grow...
J-LO.) ...put him in a reindeer costume for the Christmas show. Baylor was Rudolph. The "red" nose was actually a pom pom glued to his tukkus. The teacher said..."at the end of the dance...turn around and shake your bottom to the audience." Baylor said in his very adult voice..."I am not like you...I am not gay...I don't dance that way."
Now I must explain that we are not a ****-phobic group...but Baylor has been around many gay people...some of his classmates he has said he believes are and he is okay with that...but Baylor...is not gay. He was just giving the teach a little FYI.
Baylor plays hockey, soccer and football and loves his friends...a special girl even...but school.....not so much.
So he will be going...if he is not handcuffed to a desk next December.
) but sometimes...she is a Freshman girl who is moody and can be...hold your shock...irratible ! I say this with love because she really is a great spirit and champion of good...even in pointing out the immaturity of her classmates. She is very strong and is a good soccer player and has her first boyfriend
which makes her nice to me...cause guess what...Mom has dated before and I have a clue ! She actually asks me for help when it comes to what a boy could mean by their inuendos and non verbal actions and she uses my advice and I love the fact she trusts me to be on her side...even if that means not agreeing with her about everything. So then there was Treyner.
He is 17 and on his 3rd girlfriend. He loves girls...has since he was 3 and the other 2 girls lasted 3 years and 1 1/2 respectively.
He is not one to like the partying high school life and is foccused on college and sports. Mostly sports in college. He is a good student this year and very much the giver. Went on a mission trip to Mexico this past summer and plans on going again. He is open about his life to me...talks about things I sometimes wish I didn't know..(mommy...make the bad men go away...) but I would not trade him for the world. I was 19 and a sophmore in college when his Dad and I married and had him. He has been raised around adults his whole life and is more comfortable talking to them than kids most of the time. He does think he is awesome though...I often say..."I hope you can find someone to love yourself as much as you do." He has actually sold his autograph at school for lunch money when he forgot some and was asked this summer to pose in front of a friends Mustang for some girls who saw him on the street. UGH!!!
BTW: He helped title the thread...guess which part...!
I do not have a great pic of me...I promise to put one up on the next installment. I know it won't be great but it will be me. Give me addresses to send condolences...
So here's is what I just did today...
Booked a 2 bedroom at OKW for Dec. 2-9th. We will stay at a value resort for the Fri. & Sat. stay because only Donald Trump or Queen Elizabeth can afford a weekend night for points! (I wonder what their child would look like if they were to breed?
?) I am already coveting restaurants...and cannot believe that there are 2 types of meal plans now! What possible animal could eat 3 meals a day with an appetizer, dessert, entree and drink??
I plan on the old standby $37.99 an adult meal plan, Thank You!I will love advice and take any and all suggestions from you!! I hope you will laugh and maybe even get a little sappy form this thread. I know I will.
Thus this trip...it is all for him...and for me...cause I love him...most of the time...well actually all of the time...except when he smells like rotting flesh...which is after every game...which like I said...he plays a lot...so he smells...all of the time...except 20% of the time...which is when he is sleeping...and then...in the quiet of the night...I touch his head...and tuck him in...because I still can...and I want to...because he is turning 18 and he is so funny...and so cocky...and so loving...and such a good boy( er...I mean man) and he is my son..."Christmas Light Freak" and all.
Keep telling yourself, "It's his art. It's his art....." Because someone, somewhere (but not in your neighborhood) appreciates it. Especially if they're 5. 
and I am really sorry but I cannot repeat that much wit in such a short amount of time!!!***
Would she know that Mrs. Olsen had a chemical imbalance that caused her bi-polar manic states??? 
and I will not tell you her name because I do not want said angel to get fired by the Dis Devil who just may be her boss...so...we will call her D.
one so fat it cannot roll over without a wheeze and a huff and an ugh...the other one thinks it is a fish 
and loves to sit in the sink with the water pouring over it. You have to barricade yourself in the bathroom because if it hears you brushing your teeth or washing your hands...it will jump in the sink faster than you can imagine. It should be called Crest because I have washed more of it out of it's hair than I would care to tell you.
Of course not... 
you can exit the theater now.
