The horrors of giving birth? Calling all moms!

[VSL]

I have been doing my research on giving birth. Well, I was doing some lay reading! I thought it would be a good idea because me and BF are planning on TTC in about 4yrs, and although it's a bit soon to be worry, I enjoy researching things I'm interested in and will affect me.

I'm not so sure it was a good idea.

I've come across some gory stories about the 'horrors' of giving birth Don't get me wrong, I was under no impression that it was all wonderful and beautiful (I mean, the fact that you've given birth to your child and brought a new life into the world is a beautiful thing, but I'm talking about the physical realities here!), but I had no idea that it could really be as bad as what I read!

I'd really appreciate it if anyone here could share what it was like for them to give birth (you don't have to go into great detail if you don't want).
Also, if there are any people who have ever acted as birthing partners, their story could be interesting too (to prepare my BF!).

I'd love to hear both positive and negative experiences (negative as in how it felt, the experience - nothing to do with your beautiful child at the end of it all, which I'm sure makes it all worth it in the end )

TIA

 

[Marseeya]

Are you sure this is such a good idea? OMG, I traumatized myself by watching a birthing video while I was pregnant.

Both of my kids were born via c-section. I had problems with my first pregnancy with blood pressure and such, then I ended up going over a week past my due date. My labor just never progressed and my cervix never dilated past 3 cm. This went on for about 15 hours before my doctor realized I was wearing out too fast.

Second child, were going to go for a VBAC (******l birth after c-section). Up until the last week, everything was going okay, but the baby never dropped and my cervix never softened. Looked like it was going to be a repeat of the first experience, so my doctor wanted to do a c-section, after adamantly being opposed to it.

 

[KimR]

Don't let the horror stories scare you. I've had 3 babies and I never felt significant pain with any of them. I actually enjoyed the labor and birth process. Granted, I'm a big wimp when it comes to pain and asked for an epidural immediately, but all of my babies were born healty with no complications.

 

[Christine]

Honestly, I thought it was easy. Of course, I had the epidural. I had very little pain. I'm sure there are horror stories, but I don't think that is the majority.

 

[ckay87]

I won't burden you with my birthing stories, as I think it gets really old. I will console you by saying that the majority of people go to the hospital and spend about an 8 hour day just having contractions and then pushing out a baby. It's usually pretty straightforward - don't sweat it.

Oh and stop reading about other people's experiences. Keep yourself healthy and all will be fine.

 

[HayGan]

EVERY woman and EVERY pregnancy is different. You just never know how yours is going to go. Two things that you do know are that there will be some level of pain involved and at the end you have a beautiful baby (or babies) that you and partner created out of love

 

[TheRatPack]

Two with epidurals here and two great experiences. My son took around 12 hours and 3 pushes. My daughter took again around 12 hours and 1/2 a push on my part LOL I was contracting with her really strong, and she just came out on her own.

Just get the pushing down, listen to what they say and how they tell you to push...etc and you'll do fine. My best friend had over 24 hours of labor though, because she went in and was put on the drip then taken off and allowed to rest then put back on....etc. So be sure you know how your hospital/birthing center works too. And try not to go in too early, time contractions and know what to look for in real labor.

Best of luck

 

[ckay87]

Oh and may I add that there are a LOT of worse things that can and (frankly) probably will happen to you in your lifetime. With much less rewarding outcomes. Birth will be the most fun you ever have in the hospital.

 

[mrsltg]

Don't look for "horror" stories. Instead, educate yourself on birth and your options and you'll likely avoid a "horror" story of your own. I will point out that labor and childbirth don't tickle but it's over relatively quickly. There is pain involved in recovery but it too is manageable.

Good luck-
Erin

 

[justhat]

Well as I'm sure you can guess, each birth is going to be very different, even multiple kids from the same mom, so just be sure you don't read a bunch of stories then sorta 'pick' the one that seems the best in your mind cause you don't want to be disappointed if it turns out differently.

As for me, with my daughter, I went into labor at 37 weeks, 6 days and it wasn't bad at all in the beginning. I woke up around 6:45am with some cramping/back pain but didn't think much of it and tried to go back to sleep, but then I noticed that the pain was every 8 minutes. Still though, not bad, but I was too excited to try to sleep at that point. I stayed home till around 12:30 when my husband came home and we left for the hospital (contractions were every 3 minutes then so the nurse said to come in) and I was 4 cm, totally effaced and was admitted. Still, not bad pain, plus we had a birthing ball and sitting on that really helped alleviate the pressure I felt from the baby's head. At around 3:30pm I was 8 cm and pain was still managable but then came to break my water and saw there was meconium in it (the baby's first BM) so they had to do this amnioinfusion to pump saline into my uterus to hopefully clear out the meconium so the baby's lungs would be clear at birth. Then they felt that her head was slightly turned and she wasn't really moving down so they said they would probably need to use forceps or possibly have a c-section so they asked me about an epidural at that point. I didn't have one yet (or really want one) but they said if a c-section was necessary and I didn't have an epidural they'd have to give me a general anesthestic, which I did not want to so I got the epidural at about 8.5cm. I have to admit it was great (and the reason I didn't want one was a huge fear of needles I have, especially near my spine, not that I wanted to just brave the pain) and I'm sure much needed since they had to use forceps to turn her head and that cut me up pretty badly internally so I'm sure it would have hurt a lot without the epidural. 2.5 hours of pushing and the forceps and she was born at 7:32pm, with no meconium in her lungs!!

Now, the bad part-it took them over an hour to do all the internal stitching from the forceps cuts (no tearing or episiotomy but I still had to be stitched!). The reason that was bad was that I was in that 'stirrup position' for almost 4 hours, including pushing and stitching, and according to the neurologist I saw 3 weeks later that position and/or the baby's head while in that position damaged a nerve that gave feeling to my knees and outer thighs-so yes, I was totally numb in those areas-no feeling at all. Well, after about 6 months the nerve completely regenerated and I got the feeling back, but that was a long time. It was very scary to stand up from a sitting position with a newborn when I couldn't feel my knees. Anyway, the neurologist said if I didn't get the epidural I would have felt the pain in the nerve and would have moved my position so with this next baby I'm going to try to go without the epidural if possible, but we'll see what happens.

 

[bananiem]

I could tell you quite a story of childbirth but once I held my daughter it all vanished and I couldn't wait to do it all again. Our kids bring such joy to us. I can't imagine what it would be like if they weren't here.

 

[mickeyboat]

No two labors and deliveries are the same. Sure, there are horror stories, but just think of all the births that have gone off without a hitch! So please, don't be worrying.

My water broke at 31 1/2 weeks with Hannah. I was hospitalized until I was induced at 34 weeks. My body was not ready to labor, and even though I wanted to do it without an epidural, without it, they couldn't turn the pitocin up high enough for the contractions to be effective. The epidural "wore off" while I was pushing, so I needed more medication. I labored for 13 hours and pushed for 2 1/2 hours. Hannah needed to stay in the ICN for 2 weeks, but is a completely healthy 6 year old now.

I went full term with Emily, and although labor was painful and intense, it was mercifully quick, and she was born 2 hours after I realized I was in labor. I labored all day thinking I had gas pains/cramps. My body was able to do it all on its own very effectively. I still begged for drugs, but since I was fully-dialated when I arrived at the hospital, there wasn't time.

If I ever do it again, I will admit myself for an epidural at about 38 weeks.

Denae

 

[Microcell]

I am not going to lie to you, the contactions are not a walk in the park, but i had quite a few before the very beautiful Epidural. In fact before I had DS I had pitocin to start labor because my water broke the night before, and I had contractions for three hours about five minutes apart. They were more intense because of the meds, but it was still manageable. I got the epidural 20 minutes before he came out! I did feel ripped off, and it was a couple of hours before I could walk again.

The body is a very interesting thing. With DD I was swollen and sore afterward, and so wiped out. By the time I had DS I swear my body had this birth thing figured out and I was ready to go home that day! Luckily they had me sleep through the night with the help of medication. I woke up and around 830 AM they got my labor started and he was out at five till one in the afternoon. I was up and walking around that evening as soon as the epidural wore off. They wouldn't let me go, of course for two days to make sure my uterus got back to a better size, but we left the hospital and went to the Babies R Us on the way home- he was two weeks early and we needed much smaller clothes!

Withmy first, my DD, my inlaws had to beg me to take her out to dinner at four days old, and I thought the world would end when she cried, that sweet baby cry. Now I just laugh at how nervous I was. Having your second child, in general will be more fun because you will know what to expect.

Honestly, we really can't prepare you for having a baby, there will be the unknown until you have your first, but let me tell you, it is alot of pain, but unlike any physical ailment, you get something at the end of it to cherish for the rest of your life.

Also, watching my beautiful DD go through Appendicitis and being in the hospital 10 days in horrible pain, I got the better end of the deal having her. I always tell her that she knows something I don't, what it is like to recover from surgery and to have pain for more than 10 days. She lived through it with some bad memories to show for it. I not only lived through my few hours of pain, but I got the best gift ever. Perspective helps ease the pain.

Good luck!

 

[Tiffann4k]

I was freaked out watching a birth video when I was pregnant with #1 so I was scared to death to give birth. I was so scared of needles I wouldnt even let them give me anything for the pain so I had #1 naturally and it was painful I wont lie but it wasnt unbearable. The biggest thing I remember was the burning sensation down there as she was making her entrance, after she came out it was the biggest feeling of relief I have ever had. ( Daughter born at 42 weeks 8lbs 9 oz 21" )

Same with #2 had her naturally as well and was in a little bit more pain because she was bigger. ( daughter born at 40 weeks 9 lbs 3 oz 21" )

Now with #3 I was getting a little braver and decided to have an epidural just to see what the big rave was about it. Had the epidural put in, dont remember too much pain from that, my husband on the other hand said he was about to pass out when he seen the size of the needles they used Anyhow #3 was my most difficult birth. Throughout the pregnancy I was measuring very large and so they did a bunch of ultrasounds to make sure she wasnt getting too large...kept telling me she wasnt going to be over 8lbs and that I had a lot of amniotic fluid.....even up until they broke my water they still told me I had a ton of fluid...they were wrong, my daughter was a large baby. They decided to induce me at 39 weeks( would of been sooner but the baby didnt drop until 39 weeks) because I was so uncomfortable because I was so large ( if you remember the lady who had the septuplets( Mcoughs?? ) when she gave birth she was only 6 cm larger than what I was measuring if you can remember any pics of her before she gave birth... so that might give you some clue as to how big I was...lol) Anyhow she had problems coming out, her shoulders were too large and she got stuck...they ended up having 2 nurses push my legs all the way to my head, one on my stomach trying to push the baby down , finally the midwife had to make a episiotomy so my daughter would come out. If I wouldnt of had an epidural I probably would of died trying to have her it would of been that painful. I got to stay in the hospital for 5 days because after having her I couldnt get out of bed for 2 days my pelvis was in bad shape so I couldnt walk ( daughter born at 39 weeks 9lbs 12 oz 21" )

When I became pregnant with #4 a little over a month after having #3 they kept a close eye on how big he was getting. When I was 37 weeks they decided to induce me, I had an epidural and didnt feel a thing. The midwife went to the gym to workout and came back to check on me, told her things were going good, just at that moment something felt weird so I told her something felt funny, she decided she was going to see what was going on and when she lifted up the sheet to do an exam she started yelling for the nurse to get in there...I was confused because I had no clue what was going on, then I felt the urge to push, she told me not to push at all because they didnt have anything ready....here his head was allready out and I didnt even know it ( thats how good the epidural worked...lol) ( son born at 37 weeks 8 lbs 11 oz.....he was so early he had to be hooked up to oxygen for the first day and a monitor for a few months...nothing like having a almost 9lb preemie)

Those are my birth stories, if I have more children I will definatly go for an epidural. All of my labors were only 2 hours long, I could just about pinpoint the time after #1 from the first contraction to when the baby was born...lol

 

[VSL]

With every birthing experience being totally individual - definitely! I think that's the problem - I'm drawn to the gore In fact, as soon as I told my BF this morning what I had been reading he was like 'Oh, for goodness sake!'.

I must say, you have all already reassured me a little (doing research, doing what the doctors say, etc.).

Thanks for sharing - and if anyone else wants to jump in, please do (I can take it!)

ETA I think I'll forego the birthing videos - they don't seem to be very helpful

 

[va32h]

I, too was panicked about childbirth - only I was in my 7th month at the time!

But my mom told me - when the time comes, you will rise to the occasion.

And I did. So will you.

 

[mickeyboat]

The biggest thing I remember was the burning sensation down there as she was making her entrance,

My midwife called this the "ring of fire." That's exactly what it felt like to me.

Denae

 

[mickeyboat]

ETA I think I'll forego the birthing videos - the don't seem to be very helpful

I actually enjoyed the birthing videos, and still enjoy watching "A Baby Story." I get all choked up every time a baby is born.

Denae

 

[Microcell]

I forgot a funny story when Dh and I were researching what would happen with birth and a book we read said that it is common to have a bowel movement while giving birth, because of the pressure on that muscle. Well I was NOT going to go to the bathroom on a bed while having a baby! That was my personal horror. We joked because the book said not to worry, that a medical person would "Wisk it away" blah blah. I was not going to poop in front of all those people!

Both times, when I got to the hospital, I told the nurse I wanted to try to go to the bathroom right when I got there, before they hooked me up, and again before the doctor got there. Both times my DH said "Are you sure, you mean you don't want to see them "Wisk it away?". I said "Uh, NOOOOOO" to which a nurse replied, "Well thank God!"

She was the funny nurse, which I was happy for, I could not stand the pushy uppity ones!

 

[just.me]

well worth the few (or many in my case) hours of exruciating pain

oh natural with 2 and epi with the middle guy

all three kids had to get evicted -
#1 had to have my water broken after 20 hours of mild labor - and after that back labor set in (now that is bad)


#2 my water broke when I was 12 days over due, after 12 hours of consistent but tolerabel contractions they had to give me pitocin - which scared me so I asked for the epi - which wasn't a walk in thae park either - but i enjoyed a good nap before hours ol pushing...

#3 overdue so they started the pitocin - nurse convinsed me to give it a shot without the epi - um yah after 4 hours I was begging for a epi -
anastegiologist was 25 minutes away - baby got here before he did -

was it hard
yes
would it stop me from having another
no

(the vasectomy dh had will stop me though )